“Splitting the Baby” is a phrase that has taken root in our lexicon. It references King Solomon’s decision where two mothers were embroiled in a “custody battle” over a child, each claiming the child to be their own. 1 Kings 3:16 KJV
In family law courts, oftentimes the Judges compare themselves to Solomon when making decisions. These Judges must make tough decisions based testimony and evidence that are frequently in stark contrast depending upon which party was offering up the facts and proof.
In the Biblical Custody Battle, King Solomon was faced with one infant and two mothers. Solomon did not know which woman was the child’s real mother, so he arranged a test to see if he could determine the true mother. In Solomon’s case, the real mother was willing to let the other woman have her child in order to spare his life, while the other woman (whose own baby previously died) agreed with King Solomon that the baby should be cut in two, with each woman receiving half. The real mother in King Solomon’s court was willing to make the ultimate sacrifice of giving the child up, so that he might live. The Holy Bible, King James Version, 1 Kings 3:16.
These days, however, it seems that when we talk about “splitting the baby” we are referencing making decisions that leave both parties unhappy. I have heard a Judge say that if both parties leave unhappy then they must have gotten the result right. There may be some instances where this holds true, however there was no splitting in the Biblical version of Solomon’s decision.
Splitting the baby may be the solution if it’s not an actual baby. But the wisdom of Solomon is remembered, celebrated, and often cited because he, in fact, did not split the baby.
Thompson Law Firm, pllc Matthew Thompson (601) 850-8000
With Thanksgiving and Christmas quickly approaching, it is always a good idea to be vigilant in protecting your identity. Along with serious shopping comes a serious chance of having your identity stolen.
Clients frequently inquire about what can be done about stolen identity and fraudulent charges. The following are steps you should take immediately.
(1) Contact the local police department and file a report of the theft. Be sure to take as much documentation of the ID theft as you can. *(Not all police stations will want to take the report, but the Federal Trade Commission has a Staff Memorandum to Police on the Importance of Taking Identity Theft Police Reports which may be helpful in having the report filed.)
(2) Contact any creditors for the accounts that you believe have been corrupted or fraudulently opened.
a. Ask to speak with the Fraud or Security Department and inform them of the theft. Some companies accept an Identity Theft Affidavit, but some require particular documentation to be provided. Be sure to obtain the specific address to which a dispute letter or ID Theft Affidavit should be mailed. Follow up the conversation with a letter.
b. Request that the company provide all documents underlying the fraudulent activity. By law the Fair Credit Reporting Act section 609(e), provides that creditors must give you a copy of the application or other business transaction records relating to your identity theft free of charge. Creditors must provide these records within thirty (30) days of receipt of your request. In order to obtain these records, you must mail your request to the address chosen by the creditor. Contact the creditor’s fraud department by telephone to find out if the creditor has chosen a specific address.
c. If someone is misusing your existing checking account, accounts, or electronic funds transfers, such as your debit card, you should dispute in writing any charges run up by the identity thief on those accounts. Insist on having debits reinstated. Ask the representative to send you the company’s fraud dispute forms. Dispute any bad checks passed in your name with merchants so they do not start collections actions against you.
(3) Contact the Fraud Department the credit reporting agencies (CRAs). Inform them that you are an identity theft victim and that you wish to place a fraud alert on you file, as well as a victim’s statement requesting a call to you by the credit bureaus before opening or changing credit accounts. An initial 90-day fraud alert will be placed, and this can be extended to 7-years, or a credit freeze can be placed. (As soon as the credit bureau confirms your fraud alert, the other two credit bureaus will be automatically notified to place fraud alerts, and all three credit reports will be sent to you free of charge. The victim should receive confirmation letters from all three CRAs confirming the 90-day fraud alert. If no letter is received, the individual CRA should be contacted, and the victim may be asked to provide additional proof of the identity theft.)
The three major credit agencies and their contact information are:
For Fraud Alerts, call: 800‑525‑6285 and write:
P.O. Box 740241, Atlanta, GA 30374‑0241
For Fraud Alerts, call: 888‑EXPERIAN (397‑3742) and write:
P.O. Box 9530, Allen TX 75013
For Fraud Alerts, call: 800‑680‑7289 and write:
Fraud Victim Assistance Division, P.O. Box 6790, Fullerton, CA 92634
(4) Each CRA will provide a free credit report. The victim should review the report. The victim should review the reports for errors. If there are errors the victim will need to contact the CRAs in order to correct the credit reports. The CRAs are required to block fraudulent items that the consumer did not open or that the consumer did not make. Attempting to have the report corrected can be initiated by the victim sending an Identity Theft Report (police report), letter explaining what is fraudulent (highlight areas on the report), and proof of identity.
(5) File a report with the Federal Trade Commission (FTC) on their Identity Theft Hotline at 1‑877‑IDTHEFT(1‑877‑438‑4338) or their website at www.consumer.gov/idtheft.
(6) Contact the Consumer Protection Division of the Mississippi Attorney General’s Officeand request an ID Theft Packet at 1‑800‑281‑4418. Complete the ID Theft Affidavit in the packet and return it to this address:
(7) Once the identity theft dispute has been resolved with the creditor, ask for a letter from the creditor stating that they have closed the disputed accounts and have discharged you of the fraudulent debts. This letter is the best proof if errors relating to this account reappear on your credit report or the victim is mistakenly contacted again about the fraudulent debt. Keep old files. Although most cases once resolved, stay resolved, in some cases, problems can crop up again.
*Meridian attorney Amanda Evans provided this insightful primer on what to do.
Unfortunately, disappointment is a part of life. It can also be a major part of family law cases. Most often in a family law case, someone is going through just about the most difficult thing they do as an adult when dealing with a divorce/custody matter. Either they have done something, or their spouse has, which has caused significant upheaval, loss of trust and despair A large part of family law includes helping someone cope with those feelings and emotions.
While there is no easy answer on how to cope, there are a number of things that can be done to promote healing.
Seek Counseling. I recommend counseling to almost every client. This is NOT because I think something is wrong with them. It is because Counselors are people who have expertise in dealing with persons going through emotional crisis. A lawyer can deal with a legal crisis, and some are good at the emotional issues too, but all are not. A counselor can help and they have often heard and dealt with a similar circumstance. Counseling can be with a licensed counselor, a religious leader or a sage friend with experience.
Keep a Routine. Keeping a routine can help more than you think. A recent study showed that persons who made their bed each morning were more organized and felt better about themselves throughout the day. This routine made their day better. This is something easy to do and it only takes 2 minutes, but can make a difference in how you feel. I encourage my clients to get in a routine and keep it. I encourage them to continue their exercise regimen or start one. Let’s Go Walking (a la Haley Barbour!). I also encourage them to eat the right stuff. While this may sound dumb or not my business – a family law matter concerns mind, body, and spirit.
Listen to Your Attorney. One of the easiest things to say and hardest to do is to follow the advice of your attorney. Ideally, you are working with an attorney that has handled many situations, which have been similar to yours. Just like you, attorneys learn from experience. Hire one that knows what they are doing and then take their advice. This one factor alone is worthy of its own blog…
Disappointment is a part of life and, seemingly, a large part of family law. Effectively dealing with the “bumps” in the road will help you get back on track.