This thought provoking title was taken from an excerpt from The Meaning of Marriage by Timothy Keller and appeared in Relevant Magazine. This title, while appearing startling, is actually pretty profound if you think about it. The gist is that searching for someone who accepts you as you are and fulfills your desires, creates an unrealistic set of expectations that frustrates both you and your partner. This results in someone relying too much on a marriage partner for their own self-fulfillment. It creates impossible expectations.
The article instead encourages one to view marriage as the coming together of two flawed people working to create “stability, love and consolation.” While the search for soul-mates and the one that “completes you” is romantic to think about and makes for entertaining movies, (if you like that sort of thing try, He’s Just Not That Into You) it is unrealistic and overly simplistic. The article concludes, “[s]imply put—today people are asking far too much in the marriage partner.” And I would add, and not asking enough of themselves.
You never marry the right person, but the marriage can be right!
Who gets what is always an issue in divorce. Mississippi Courts use a concept known as Equitable Distribution – which means things are to be divided fairly, but not necessarily equally. Now, more often than not it is close to an equal division. So what is stuff? For the purposes of this post, I am referring to personal property. Furniture, electronics, utensils, personal effects – Stuff!
The Court will allow the parties to agree to any division that they can mutually agree upon. Barring that, the Court may also employ the “Two List Method.” One party makes 2 list of everything in the home, “equally divided,” and the other party gets to pick which complete list of items they want. The party that made the lists gets the list of items not picked by the other. Courts think this is a fair way to do it.
But, what if my family gave me that dinette set? The Court will take into consideration if the property is marital property or not, but by and large anything acquired during the course of the marriage is marital. And, anything used, or “commingled,” by the family can lose its separate status and become a marital asset. Now this does not mean that he is going to get Grandma’s antique China Buffet, but it does mean that a portion of the value could be deemed marital and there could be a set-off through other means. He could get both couches, instead.
Who gets the stuff? Usually it’s somewhat of a balancing act. Each party receives their own respective personal effects and the parties are usually able to agree as to who gets what of the Stuff.
Thompson Law Firm, pllc Matthew@wmtlawfirm.com (601) 850-8000
This question, “Do I NEED a Lawyer?” is asked of me on an almost daily basis. It’s one of those questions that when you ask a lawyer if you need a lawyer – you know what the answer is going to be. “Yes! You need a a lawyer.” If you are having to ask if you need a lawyer, you probably need a lawyer.
So, when do you NEED a lawyer?
When you have been sued. If there is an active lawsuit you need to see a lawyer.
When you have been seriously injured and it was not your fault. This applies to car wrecks, but it also applies to any injury.
When you have been arrested. Law Enforcement involvement is usually a significant sign that you need an attorney.
When there are significant risks involved. Lawyers are trained to identify and attempt to minimize risk.
Well, you think, if I talk to a lawyer it may make the issue more serious. Perhaps, but lawyers, for the most part try to help. Their goal is to advise you, help you, and/or defend you from whatever harm is at issue. Knowing your rights, being prepared, and being fully informed are never negatives to self-preservation.