Tag Archives: soul mates

You Never Marry the Right Person.

This thought provoking title was taken from an excerpt from The Meaning of Marriage by Timothy Keller and appeared in Relevant Magazine.  This title, while appearing startling, is actually pretty profound if you think about it.  The gist is that searching for someone who accepts you as you are and fulfills your desires, creates an unrealistic set of expectations that frustrates both you and your partner.  This results in someone relying too much on a marriage partner for their own self-fulfillment.  It creates impossible expectations.

The article instead encourages one to view marriage as the coming together of two flawed people working to create “stability, love and consolation.”  While the search for soul-mates and the one that “completes you” is romantic to think about and makes for entertaining movies, (if you like that sort of thing try, He’s Just Not That Into You) it is unrealistic and overly simplistic.   The article concludes, “[s]imply put—today people are asking far too much in the marriage partner.”  And I would add, and not asking enough of themselves.

You never marry the right person, but the marriage can be right!

Source:  THE MEANING OF MARRIAGE © 2011 by Timothy Keller with Kathy Keller.  Published by Dutton, A Member of Penguin Group (USA) Inc.