One of the best pieces of advice is to “ride the wave.” In family law, such as life, adversity is a given. How you respond is the key.
How you choose to deal with that adversity will directly contribute to the results you get. Oftentimes it is a common reaction to fight fire with fire, and we all know the eye for an eye sentiment, but that may not be the best response. I have previously blogged on dealing with stress and uncertainty. This one is a little different. It is not so much how to cope, but to try to use the adversity to your advantage.
A great example was when I was faced with a young father being sued for an increase in child support. He had experienced an increase in income and was really starting to enjoy life. The ex sued him and he viewed this as ‘just his luck.’ I explained that she may be entitled to a child support increase, that he was paying a very low amount from a previous order, that some time had passed since last being in Court and that an increase was due. As I discussed his situation he disclosed some frustration with the visitation schedule. How his new job, while paying well made the current schedule difficult to work and the ex was not too easy to get along with. I told him that since we are “going to court” that we should seek a visitation modification. He did not want to make things worse. I told him it would not. Ultimately, an increase in support was negotiated along with a visitation schedule change that allowed him more time.
He rode the wave, sure it cost more money, but that is what the law requires once you subject yourself to the Court system. He used the adversity to get a better result.
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You may also contact Matthew with your family law case, question or concern at (601) 850-8000 or Matthew@bowtielawyer.ms.