Category Archives: humor

Mississippi Sued Again and it’s from unlikely Plaintiffs; Multiple Spouses, Marry a Computer, Same-Sex Marriage and the U.S. Constitution.

Mississippi has been sued in the Northern District Federal Court by self-proclaimed polygamists and a machinist. (*A “machinist” sexually objectifies tools and/or implements). Federal Lawsuit re: Polygamy.

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One of the Plaintiffs wants to marry a MacBook. *(already married her/it in New Mexico)

Polygamy, the practice of having more than one wife or husband at the same time, made infamous by The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints and rooted in some Biblical precedent, is nonetheless unconstitutional.

Nearly 140 years ago Reynolds v. United States, (U.S. Sup. Ct. 1879), was decided and is still good law. Mr. Reynolds was convicted of bigamy, a crime in the territory of Utah, sentenced to two years hard labor and a $500 fine. At the trial, Mr. Reynolds sought to have a jury instruction that his religious belief allowed, or even required, multiple marriages at the same time and since he was practicing his religion he could not also be guilty of  a crime, citing the First Amendment (freedom of religion).

The U.S. Supreme Court ruled, “here, as a law…of the United States, it is provided that plural marriages shall not be allowed. Can a man excuse his practices to the contrary because of his religious belief? To permit this would be to make the professed doctrines of religious belief superior to the law of the land, and in effect to permit every citizen to become a law unto himself. Government could exist only in name under such circumstances. Id. at 166-167.

  • The bottom line in Reynolds is you can believe what you want, but you may not be able to practice, affirmatively, what you believe.

Fast forward to 2017, the now-pending lawsuit in Mississippi is seeking to prevent gay marriages, raising the constitutional Lemon Test of prohibition on government favoring one religious view over another.

The Plaintiffs argue that if gay marriage is legal, then polygamy marriage should be legal, as well as the right to marry things.

The Lemon Test details legislation concerning religion;

  1. The statute must have a secular legislative purpose. (Purpose Prong)
  2. The primary effect of the statute must not advance nor inhibit religion. (Effect Prong)
  3. The statute must not result in an “excessive government entanglement” with religion. (Entanglement Prong)
    Factors.
    1. Character and purpose of institution benefited.
    2. Nature of aid the state provides.
    3. Resulting relationship between government and religious authority.

***

The above treats this lawsuit as something to consider, however, it is not. The Plaintiffs are not residents of Mississippi, though have visited. One Plaintiff married his computer in New Mexico and is now complaining because Mississippi won’t recognize it as a marriage. Another Plaintiff, not a resident of Mississippi, wants to marry multiple persons, also not residents from Mississippi, in Pontotoc, and was refused a license to marry multiple persons at the same time. One Plaintiff, not a Mississippi resident, was engaged to a man who was “mean to her,” so she chose to “self-identify as a lesbian and legally marriage (sic) a woman only to discover it was ‘hell on earth.’ She now self-identifies as a polygamists” and demands the Government and Mississippi recognize it.

This lawsuit is  a farce. The arguments are nonsense. The Clarion-Ledger reporting this as if it is remotely newsworthy, which is how I viewed the article initially, is misleading.

This will be dismissed so fast he won’t have time to reboot his wife…er…computer.

Matthew Thompson is an attorney that did a face-palm when reading the actual complaint.

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Telling someone to Calm Down doesn’t help them Calm Down. 

Advice for the Day:

When you tell someone to calm down they usually do not and it could escalate the situation. 


Matthew Thompson~ http://www.BowTieLawyer.com (601) 850-8000

Best Selling Halloween Costume of 2017


Matthew Thompson, for the people.

There’s an old story about…

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…a lawyer that would raise the “Jolly Roger” outside of his office on days he was in trial. The Jolly Roger was flown to identify a pirate ship about to attack. These were used during the early 18th century (the later part of the “Golden Age of Piracy“).

The flag most commonly identified as the Jolly Roger today, the skull and crossbones symbol on a black flag, was used during the 1710s by a number of pirate captains including Black Sam BellamyEdward England, and John Taylor, and it went on to become the most commonly used pirate flag during the 1720s.

The more you know.

Matthew Thompson is a Family Law attorney and warns you to watch out for the folks flying pirate flags.

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How are attorneys like sunscreen?

As I am enjoying the sunny skies, crashing waves, and the people it reminds me that you need sunscreen.


Like sunscreen, sometimes you need an attorney. They can be kind of a hassle to deal with and even could be messy, but is protection from a later and potentially bigger problem.

Matthew Thompson is a family law attorney in Mississippi and reminds you to wear your sunscreen & call your divorce attorney. 

Things to do this Weekend.

Being a parent is a non-stop challenge of instruction, guidance and entertainment.

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It is hard to constantly come up with things to do. Here are some no-cost and low-cost Weekend activities, not too far away.

Picnic.

There are a plethora of parks in the area and most have picnic tables, pavilions and restrooms. It is as easy as a homemade sandwich and chips to a quick stop at the local fast food joint.

These parks also have grills. With a little more effort you can be grilling burgers, dogs or blackened redfish with crispy capers.

Take a Hike.

In addition to the walking trails at most parks there are a few actual hiking trails in the area. The most prominent locally is the Yockanookany. The “Yock” is a 30+ mile trial that runs north and south, beginning just north of the Overlook on the Natchez Trace paralleling the Trace northward for 30 miles. There are multiple spots to get on and off. This trial is primitive, but well-marked.

Mule Jail Trail. Mule Jail is a mountain biking/hiking trail. It is just south and west of the Spillway. It is a well-defined trail that meanders through the woods that are on your right when traveling east over Spillway Road. It’s an easy hike, quick to get to, but feels like your away from it all. Also, Mule Jail has a great history involving an island being formed from a natural peninsula of the Pearl River during the Civil War to protect the farmer’s live stock. The island was known as “Mule Jail.”

Other great hiking info can be found at Hiking in Mississippi, a great resource!

Canoeing/Kayaking.

Mississippi has some amazing rivers, streams and lakes. The Rez has numerous places to launch canoe and kayaks. There are lots of nooks and crannies to explore. There are a few local places that will rent canoes or kayaks, or you may purchase one at the big box retailers.

If you don’t go the rental route, this will be more expensive and more of a hassle. You will need to transport your craft and have the required paddles and life jackets.

Learn Something.

The metro area has numerous museums and attractions. The Mississippi Sports Hall of Fame, Natural Science Museum, Children’s Museum, Agriculture Museum, and Jackson Zoo are all nearby. These are relatively low-cost activities that can consume a half day or more of fun and learning. These are just a few in the area and there are plenty more throughout the state.

Just for Fun.

There are seemingly endless opportunities to just have fun, neat places to explore. A drive through downtown Jackson to see the sights is always a treat. Really. The Capitol, the Old Capitol, the Mississippi Supreme Court building, Governor’s Mansion, all of the “skyscrapers” in Jackson, and just traveling Capitol Street is a treat. Other localities have quaint “downtowns” with shops and farmer’s markets. Canton’s square is famed.

Eating Opportunities.

There are more places to eat in the area than you realize. Local, unique and one-of-a-kind places. There are numerous home-cooking diners, amazing soul food and authentic “foreign” cuisine. Where else can you find a catfish igloo, an old gas station turned-restaurant, an old school turned entertainment destination, and more Mexican places than you can shake a sombrero at?

There are lots of opportunities to have fun, stay on a budget, and make memories that last a lifetime.

Matthew Thompson is a Family and Child Custody Attorney encouraging you to be the best parent you can be.

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Go to Your Child’s Events.

They can be long, boring and seemingly insignificant. Go anyway. You have to sit by people you don’t know and talk to people with coffee breath. Go anyway.

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They are precious milestones that will be over too soon. Graduation, Field Day, Grandparent’s Day, AR Recognition, Chapel, plays, musicals, ball games and spelling bees. Go.

Matthew Thompson is a Family Law attorney that tries to make these events a priority and reminds you to never refuse a breath mint.

www.BowTieLawyer.ms      (601)850-8000

 

Don’t Send a “Novel” in a Text Message

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The first text message was sent in 1992 from Neil Papworth, a former developer at Sema Group Telecoms. Mobile phones didn’t have keyboards at the time, so Papworth had to type the message on a PC. Papworth’s text — “Merry Christmas” — was successfully sent to Richard Jarvis at Vodafonehttp://mashable.com/2012/09/21/text-messaging-history/#7WcM8gVdbZqj

A two-word message was the first text message and is a good general guide for how long your messages should be. Texting a novel is NOT a good idea. It is hard to read. Punctuation is an afterthought. Grammar rules are ignored. There is no tone in text messages.

A text message novel is a mere paragraph in an email. In an email form it is not daunting or harassing. In text form it is over the top. Send short texts. Save the longer messages for an email or even a letter.

Matthew Thompson is a Family Law Attorney in Mississippi and reminds you to avoid sending a novel length text message.

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