Category Archives: Marriage

Child Custody, Crime, Divorce, Marriage, Opinion

The Adultery Train- All Aboard!

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An affair plays a significant role in a large number of divorces.  It is a train wreck to a relationship.

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Beezqp- “Big Bad Locomotive”

A sure-fire way to wreak havoc in a marriage is to have an affair.  Mississippi law defines an affair or adultery as sexual intercourse, with a person of the opposite sex, not your spouse.  However, due to the secretive nature of affairs you do not have to have an admission of guilt or pictures, though it helps.  The ground can be proven through circumstantial evidence.

Upon a satisfactory showing of 1) inclination or infatuation, which can consist of cards, notes, emails, love letters, texts and phone records showing many calls; and 2) opportunity, which is the spouse and that other person alone together, be it in a car, house, motel, hotel, park or back alley, a Court can find that fault grounds exist.  Due to this, even the whole “it’s only an emotional affair” and the “we didn’t have sex” may not be enough to stop the Adultery train from running over you.

So, why do people have affairs?  They can be exciting, fun and pleasurable, at least for a little while.  What leads to this? Sometimes the person is unhappy, dissatisfied, over-stressed, unloved, under-appreciated, or at least believe that they are.

The problem is the affair does not fix the problem.  It only serves to make things worse.  Because along with an affair comes new baggage.  Guilt, secrecy, and the emotions of a third person are now commingled in your personal life.  An affair not only hurts your spouse, but also you, your children and the other party.  It has emotional consequences, financial consequences, custody consequences and legal consequences.

An affair is a Train wreck in the making.

Matthew Thompson is a semi-part-time Family Law Professor at MC Law and a Divorce Attorney encouraging you to avoid train wrecks!

Follow the blog: BowTieLawyer Visit the website: Thompson Law Firm  You may also contact Matthew with your family law case, question or concern at (601) 850-8000 or Matthew@bowtielawyer.ms

 

Child Custody, Crime, Divorce, General Legal, Marriage, Opinion

Don’t Date During your Divorce

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“Dating during your divorce is akin to playing with matches and kerosene during a forest fire.” Matthew Thompson

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It is commonly asked by clients, “Can I date others?” The short answer is NO.  In Mississippi divorce there is no such thing as “legal separation.”  You are married until you are divorced.  That means either party could get “fault grounds” against the other at any time prior to the divorce being granted. In general however, it is just a bad idea.

Dating during your Divorce is a bad idea due to the following;

  • Dating involves feelings and emotions which can be misfiring at that point.
  • It involves money and expenses and Court’s look disfavorably of spending on boyfriends and girlfriends.
  • It could wreak havoc on a Custody case if that “new” person is either the wrong fit for your kids or a great fit, but it does not work out.
  • “Rebounds” tend to take a bad bounce.
  • It’s an easy target for your soon to be Ex and his attorney.
  • You may not really know the person you’re dating.

If you have to ask your attorney if it’s okay, it probably isn’t.  Now, having said that, you are still allowed to have a “life.”  You can go out in groups and otherwise socialize.  Just be aware of your surroundings and actions because you never know who’s watching, waiting for you to mess up.

Matthew Thompson, a Divorce Attorney and Family Law Adj. Professor at MC Law, reminds you to do your best to prevent “forest fires!”!

Follow the blog: BowTieLawyer Visit the website: Thompson Law FirmYou may also contact Matthew with your family law case, question or concern at (601) 850-8000 or Matthew@bowtielawyer.ms

 

 

Divorce, General Legal, Marriage, Opinion

Mississippi in the News- A Test Case on Same-Sex Divorce

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Mississippi is the site of the latest same-sex challenge to laws preventing same-sex persons from getting married and seeking a divorce.

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http://www.CNN.com

A Mississippi resident, who married her spouse in California, is now seeking that a Mississippi Court divorce them.  The couple lived in Mississippi for some time after their marriage and ultimately separated in the Magnolia State.  The case is pending in DeSoto County Chancery court and has garnered world-wide attention.

However, it may not be a walk in the park…

MS law specifically provides that a same-sex marriage is VOID.  Void means it does not exist, not that it could if everything was just right. Void=nothing.  The law goes on to specifically deny that MS has to recognize another state’s same-sex marriage.

MCA 93-1-1, (2) Any marriage between persons of the same gender is prohibited and null and void from the beginning. Any marriage between persons of the same gender that is valid in another jurisdiction does not constitute a legal or valid marriage in Mississippi.

Now before you bash MS too much for this, it is quite common that states have different laws regarding requirements for persons to get married in their respective states.  Different laws can be allowed.  For instance you can marry your niece-in-law in California, but not in Utah.  And Utah does not have to recognize the CA marriage.  Nothing to do with same gender on that restriction.  Also, most states prohibit same-sex marriage, only 14 states allow same-sex marriage, at this time.

There are several issues that are apparent in this MS pending matter.

Issue #1.  MS law, which at this time is valid and constitutional by the way, disallows their “marriage” to be recognized as a marriage.  And, if no marriage, then there can be no divorce.

Issue #2.  The Mississippian sued her spouse on Habitual Cruel and Inhuman Treatment.  The parties had been separated for over 3 years by the time of filing which may be an indicator of limited grounds regarding cruelty, which is one of the most difficult grounds to prove.  So there may not be a divorce on cruelty anyway, as the plaintiff could not meet her burden of proof.

Issue #3.   The Mississippian sued her spouse for Adultery.  Adultery, in Mississippi, is defined as “sexual intercourse with a person of the opposite sex, not your spouse.” Despite this being the Bible Belt, it is possible that Mrs. Defendant is in another relationship with another person, of her same sex, and is still not committing “adultery.” Technically speaking, of course.

Issue #4.   The Constitution’s Full Faith & Credit clause.  FF&C requires that a valid Order from one State be recognized in another.  The catch is a Marriage is not an Order, but rather a contractual arrangement between the two spouses and the state that they are being married in.  This means a  marriage is not entitled to Full Faith and Credit.  Interestingly, a divorce would be, assuming the Jurisdictional/residency requirements were met.

So, some legal mumbo-jumbo and a refrain from a little common sense results in…nothing.  That is exactly what this litigant will get from Mississippi and will likely get it in abundance.  Stay tuned for more developments.

Matthew Thompson is a family law attorney and domestic relations adj. professor at MC Law;  Keeping you abreast of the ever-changing world of family law in which we live in.

Follow the blog: BowTieLawyer Visit the website: Thompson Law FirmYou may also contact Matthew with your family law case, question or concern at (601) 850-8000 or Matthew@bowtielawyer.ms

Child Custody, General Legal, Marriage

Name, Name, Name…Messiah to Martin to Messiah.

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We’ve seen in the news a dust-up about a TN Judge that refused to allow parents to name their child “Messiah,” in fact changing the child’s name.

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Mom and dad were in a disagreement over what to name the child, but ultimately agreed on the first name of Messiah and disagreed over the child’s surname (last name).  The Judge crossed the line, however, when she changed the child’s first name over the parent’s agreement to Messiah and objection to any change of the first name.  The Judge cited that the name was not in the child’s best interest and stated there is only one Messiah.  The Judge also noted the name could be offensive to the religious community.

However, parents have a constitutional right to raise their children as they see fit, a constitutional right to privacy and a presumption that they are acting in the child’s best interests.  That is not to say all parents do, but the State’s interest is primarily limited to the child’s last name.  TN could determine the last name, which could either be the same as the mother’s or the father’s, but crossed the line when changing the first name.

The parents appealed the ruling and the matter was quickly reversed.  Messiah, changed to Martin, is Messiah again.  A correct legal outcome, regardless of how you feel about the name.  In Mississippi, a child shall have the surname of the father, if known, regardless of the marital status of the parents.  There is a provision, in the judge’s discretion, to deviate from the the surname of the father requirement, however there must be a compelling reason.

Matthew Thompson is a domestic relations counselor in the Magnolia State and encourages you to know your rights as a parent.

Follow the blog: BowTieLawyer Visit the website: Thompson Law FirmYou may also contact Matthew with your family law case, question or concern at (601) 850-8000 or Matthew@bowtielawyer.ms

Child Custody, Divorce, General Legal, Marriage

Marital Privilege – From the Bedroom to the Courtroom.

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We hear a lot about attorney-client privilege, doctor-patient privilege and even priest-penitent privilege, but there exists a marital spousal privilege, though application can be limited and tricky.

A spouse to spouse communication is confidential if it is made privately by any person to that person’s spouse and is not intended for disclosure to any other person.  In any proceeding, civil or criminal, a spouse has a privilege to prevent that person’s spouse, or even a former spouse, from testifying as to any confidential communication between that person and that person’s spouse.  The privilege may be claimed by either spouse in that spouse’s own right or on behalf of the other.

This means that a husband can prevent a wife from testifying about something he told her in confidence.  It also means that an ex-husband can even prevent an ex-wife from testifying about something he told her in confidence, during the marriage.

So, you ask,“How can I testify about what my spouse said in my divorce case?”

Exceptions. There is no privilege under this rule in civil actions between the spouses (including divorce) or in a proceeding in which one spouse is charged with a crime against; (1) a minor child, or (2) the person or property of (i) the other spouse, (ii) a person residing in the household of either spouse, or (iii) a third person committed in the course of committing a crime against any of the persons described in (d)(1), or (2) of this rule. MRE 504.

Matthew Thompson is a family law attorney and warns you not to count on spousal privilege in a divorce action.  So be careful about the content of those sweet nothings that you are whispering.

Follow the blog: BowTieLawyer 

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Divorce, General Legal, Marriage, Opinion

Red Flags of an Affair

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Warning signs to look for…

Warning signs that may show that your significant other may be seeing another!

  • A Secret Cell Phone.  They have a 2nd phone without a need or the other phone is secret.
  • Change in Attire.  The spouse is dressing in trendier clothes or “younger” or more “revealing” clothes.
  • New Undies.  Provocative undergarments appear that you don’t see in use.
  • Working out.  A sudden change in their workout regimen, without a scare from the Dr. and it’s not New Year’s Day.
  • Body Grooming.  Manscaping, or new cologne, perfumes, etc.
  • Body Augmentation.  Having lifts or lipos.
  • Longer Work Hours.  Having to work late, a lot more often, and out-of-town travel when they previously did not.
  • Unexplained Absences.  Going to the store for some milk and being gone 6 hours.
  • Bad On-Line Habits.  Surfing at all hours of the night, deleting the browser history.
  • FaceBooking Old Flames.

Matthew Thompson is a family law attorney in Mississippi and admits while these signs can certainly exist with nothing going on, that if 3 or more are happening Watch Out!

Follow the blog: BowTieLawyer Visit the website: Thompson Law Firm

You may also contact Matthew with your family law case, question or concern at (601) 850-8000 or Matthew@wmtlawfirm.com.

Child Custody, Child Support, Divorce, General Legal, Marriage, Modifications

Don’t Bring Your Child to the Meeting With the Divorce Attorney (Video)

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A prior blog brought to life!

Bring your complaints, questions and a financial statement. Don’t bring your child.

Follow the blog: BowTieLawyer Visit the website: Thompson Law Firm

You may also contact Matthew with your family law case, question or concern at (601) 850-8000 or Matthew@bowtielawyer.ms.

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Divorce, General Legal, Marriage, Opinion

“What Rhymes with Hug Me?” (hey, hey, hey)

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Robin Thicke has a song out called Blurred Lines.

In the song he sings about sending mixed signals and how a response intended to mean one thing can be interpreted or mean another to the receiver.

Are your communications with your spouse doing the same thing?

Communication is critical.  It’s critical in a healthy relationship and it’s critical in the aftermath.  I have seen many, many post separation communications be misinterpreted and then used against the sending party. Email and text messages do not connote tone.  Glib comments, being cute or even a smart aleck can easily be inferred or not.

Also, too much communication leads to mixed signals, mixed emotions, false hope and opportunity for your words to be used against you.  Usually, I recommend limited communications and that those be about the children or emergencies, or course.  Sometimes, however, I recommend no contact.  You hired attorneys, let them do it.

Don’t blur the lines.

Matthew Thompson is a family law attorney in Mississippi and while Blurred Lines may be a catchy song, blurred lines of communication can lead to trouble.

Follow the blog: BowTieLawyer Visit the website: Thompson Law Firm

You may also contact Matthew with your family law case, question or concern at (601) 850-8000 or Matthew@bowtielawyer.ms.

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