Divorce Floodgates; Why Mississippi Will Always be Backwards and Our “Leaders” are Leading the Way.

Mississippi is again the butt of the joke, the laughingstock, and the backwards looking, Buckle of the Bible-belt, and proud of it.

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Go Get My Belt

The Mississippi legislature has refused to “open the floodgates of divorce.” This is demonstrated by the recent deaths of two bills. One, providing an additional ground for divorce if your spouse commits Domestic Violence against you, and the second casualty, adding “two years of actual separation” as a fault ground.

A Change of Heart

Who killed it?  The whole legislature is not to blame (or take credit). Both bills passed the Senate. Mississippi House of Representative, Andy Gipson, takes the credit for killing Senate Bill 2703. This is the bill that added Domestic Violence as a ground. Gipson would not even allow the merits of the bill to be considered for discussion in the House. Gipson told the Clarion Ledger “[w]e need to have policies that strengthen marriage. If a person is abusive, they need to have a change in behavior and change of heart.” Gipson went on to add that current, existing law covers the proposed changes rendering it unnecessary and that the change would “open the floodgates” of divorce. Gipson’s rationale relied upon contradictory points. Gipson argued out of both sides of his mouth.

However, Gipson is wrong. The current, existing law requires proof of habitual cruel and inhuman treatment. Habitual means constant. It is quite likely that one conviction for Domestic Violence would not be grounds for divorce in a large majority of Mississippi’s divorce Courts. The law provides that for one instance to be enough it has to be physically severe. Interestingly, one conviction is enough to provide that the offender can never possess a gun, ever again, but it does not provide that the spouse-victim can get a divorce.

Gipson provided no means for this change of heart either.

Don’t Go Changing the Rules in the Middle of the Game

State Senator Chris McDaniel put in his two cents, as well. As he voted against the proposal to add two years of bona fide, actual separation as an additional ground for divorce, which Gipson also killed. McDaniel stated that “given the state is in the marriage and divorce business, lawmakers shouldn’t be changing the terms of the contract midstream.” This comment literally means that he believes that people seeking to marry fully contemplate the 12 fault grounds for divorce, the Court’s burden of proof to establish same with corroborating witnesses and evidence, and then and only then enter into a marital contract. Ridiculous.

We’re Not Last in Something

Every state except Mississippi and South Dakota provide for a true No-Fault divorce process. This means that in the 48 other states, and the District of Columbia, if you are a resident and want a divorce you get a divorce. According to the Center for Disease Control, Mississippi is tied for the 15th highest divorce rate, per capita, in the United States. That means that over 30 states have a lower divorce rate than Mississippi, despite it being infinitely easier to gain a divorce in those states. Floodgates be damned.

“If You Ain’t First, Your’re Last” – Ricky Bobby

Mississippi is perennially last in every “good” category and first in the “bad” categories. Our head-in-the-sand “leaders” seem to be doing their best to keep us there. Mississippi ranks last in education for high-school graduation, last in school performance , one of the highest unemployment rates, and 49th in teen pregnancy rate. We are also statistically more obese, worse drivers and will die sooner. Maybe that last one is good?

But it Just Enriches Lawyers

I am a divorce lawyer. The current, existing laws only serve to enrich lawyers, not protect families. Our Courts, and man’s law, cannot make people love each other and cannot make people live together. The proposed law change, making divorce law make sense, would make it less lucrative to be a divorce lawyer. But, it’s still the right thing to do. While Gipson and McDaniel are both lawyers, the majority of our legislature is not. Only about 32% of the entire legislature are lawyers. 48 or so, out of 152. It is not a bunch of lawyers running amok. However, 45% of our legislature are Baptists. Some 69 or so, including Gipson and McDaniel. Even if, at best, this is not about money, it means that this is about forcing your subjective beliefs on someone else. Remember, this Country was founded upon religious freedoms. It is in the Constitution.

The Bottom Line

Why should you care? Because the current law promotes divorce blackmail. Divorces are a necessary “evil” of life and marriage. Divorce is rooted in the Bible and while it is despised, it is allowed for adultery, abandonment, abuse and adultery of the heart. The heart that needs to be changed is the heart of a lawmaker that seeks to keep a just-enough-abused, but not too much, spouse in a loveless “marriage.” That is not a marriage. The floodgates are already open. The law change actually serves to help and protect those that we are commanded to help and to protect.

Matthew Thompson is an opinionated divorce lawyer, adjunct professor that teaches family law, author of Mississippi Divorce, Alimony and Child Support, a native Mississippian and proud of all of the above.

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Tip of the Day: Don’t Read Tone into Text Messages

“Can you believe that he texted me this?!?” images

What did he text?

“When can I see the kids?”

So?

“He’s DEMANDING TO TAKE THE CHILDREN!”

Sometimes a text is just a text. The tip of the day is to not read tone into to text messages. On numerous occasions I have had clients read exchanges between themselves and their ex. They read their own words in an angelic voice, but their ex’s in a tone that is a maniacal monster. They literally change their tone of voice when reading the ex’s messages. It’s fascinating to watch. However, it can be counter productive.

Text messages are not proper English.  Words are abbreviated. Punctuation is often non-existent. This blog struggles with correct grammar. Text messages don’t even try to be grammatically correct.

Applying tone allows for the potential of miscommunication, may result in an unreasonable response and can get you all riled up unnecessarily. Even if there is tone what difference does it make? Respond thinking that a judge may see this one day.

Matthew Thompson is a Mississippi Divorce Attorney and tries daily to not read tone into text messages.

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Prison for NOT Paying Child Support? YES

You have seen the recent news about a local man being arrested and jailed for his refusal to pay Court Ordered Child Support. Now, this is only done after one is initially ordered to pay, doesn’t pay, then is formally requested to pay, given notice, given an opportunity to pay or prove their inability to pay with specificity, and then and only then, jailed as a last resort. In these circumstances, knowing the layers of review, the opportunities afforded by the Court and the fact that everyone had a lawyer (actually multiple lawyers), my sympathy is nil. This is Contempt of Court and ultimately the wrong-doer has the keys to the jail.  All you have to do is pay what you owe and you are free to go.

However, if you still don’t pay, your troubles can multiply.

TITLE 97.  CRIMES  
CHAPTER 5.  OFFENSES AFFECTING CHILDREN
Miss. Code Ann. § 97-5-3  (2016)
§ 97-5-3. Desertion or nonsupport of child under age eighteen
Any parent who shall desert or wilfully neglect or refuse to provide for the support and maintenance of his or her…children…while said…children are under the age of eighteen (18) years shall be guilty of a felony and, on conviction thereof, shall be punished for a first offense by a fine of not less than One Hundred Dollars ($ 100.00) nor more than Five Hundred Dollars ($ 500.00), or by commitment to the custody of the Department of Corrections not more than five (5) years, or both; and for a second or subsequent offense, by a fine of not less than One Thousand Dollars ($ 1,000.00) nor more than Ten Thousand Dollars ($ 10,000.00), or by commitment to the custody of the Department of Corrections not less than two (2) years nor more than five (5) years, or both, in the discretion of the court.
Prison for not paying child support? Yes. It’s the law.
Matthew Thompson is a Child Custody and Child Support Attorney in Mississippi.
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Man jailed for owing $223K in back child support

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(Photo: Rankin County Sheriff’s Department)

, The Clarion-Ledger Published 4:49 p.m. CT Feb. 7, 2017 |

After five years on the run, a Rankin County man is in jail for failure to pay almost a quarter of a million dollars in child support.

Tony Haywood, 50, of Brandon, was arrested by the Rankin County Sheriff’s Department last week, according to attorney Matthew Thompson.

Thompson represents Haywood’s ex-wife, Renee Ainsworth. Haywood and Ainsworth, who were married for 16 years, have three children together. The couple divorced in Georgia in 2004. Child support was demanded from a Georgia court.

Haywood did not pay child support, Ainsworth said, and her ex-husband’s check was eventually garnished. Haywood quit his job after the first garnishment and moved to Mississippi, Ainsworth said.

“He told me I would never see any child support after that,” Ainsworth said.

Ainsworth said, to her knowledge, Haywood has been employed at his family’s trucking business, Haywood Trucking, since 2004. Calls to Haywood Trucking went unanswered Tuesday.

Both Haywood and Ainsworth are from Mississippi. Ainsworth eventually moved back to Mississippi. To support her three children, she briefly signed up for SNAP benefits.

“He may have paid $10,000 the whole time we’ve been divorced,” Ainsworth said. “I don’t own a home anymore, my life has been turned upside down.”

In 2012, a Rankin County judge ordered Haywood to pay $152,298.63 in unpaid child support and Ainsworth’s attorney’s fees.

Haywood did not show up for the hearing, and the judge issued an arrest warrant.

Thompson said Haywood has “been on the lamb” for the last five years.

“He just went off the grid,” Thompson said. “Since January of ’12, he has not paid the current child support like he was supposed to.”

With interest, Haywood now owes $223,776.65.

Haywood last paid $116 in November, Ainsworth said.

He was arrested  Feb. 2 for contempt of court by the Rankin County Sheriff’s Department. He is in the Rankin County Jail.

“In order for him to get out, he’s going to have to make a good faith sizable payment, as well he should,” Thompson said.

Ainsworth said she was shocked Haywood was arrested. Now, she said, she hopes she and her children can move forward.

“It’s about doing the right thing,” she said. “I’ve been praying for a miracle but this was so out of left field. I didn’t think he would ever get caught. I thought he was above the law … I’m just hoping something good will come out of it for me and my boys.”

Contact Sarah Fowler at 601-961-7303 or sfowler@gannett.com. Follow her on Facebook and Twitter.

http://www.clarionledger.com/story/news/local/2017/02/07/man-jailed-owing-223k-back-child-support/97608300/

Super Parents Parent Superly

With an exciting Super Bowl in our immediate rear-view mirror, what better time is there than to remind ourselves to be super parents?

Fortunately, being a super parent does not require that you be a perfect parent. As we all know, “Excellence does not require perfection.” – Henry James

Super Parents _______ the child(ren).

  • Support and encourage
  • Spend time with
  • Invest in the child’s life
  • know who the teachers, friends and other important people are
  •         Encourage a great relationship with the other parent
  •         Lots of other things, too.

Matthew Thompson if a Child Custody Attorney in Mississippi and encourages you to be a super parent, even if the other parent is not.

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Tip of the Day: Have an Emergency Fund

We know the sound advice that financial gurus recommend a 6-month savings of living expenses. We also know how difficult it is to do that.

But, today’s advice is about a different type of emergency fund. I suggest you have a cash emergency fund.  Have enough money that you can get the help you need in the event of a family law emergency.

It is not uncommon for potential clients to have no readily accessible monies or extremely limited access to any monies. This makes it very difficult to navigate in the world that we live in. Also, when monies are in a joint account the joint owner may take any or all of those monies at any time and may also see if you did the same.

Have an emergency fund of several thousand dollars handy. Keep it somewhere safe and even if you never need it, you may have a family member or friend that will.

Matthew Thompson is a family law attorney in Mississippi and wishes you a Happy Groundhog Day!

(601) 850-8000       Matthew@BowTieLawyer.ms       Thompson Law Firm, pllc

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Mediation Explanation

Mediation is a process to help bring your pending litigation (or potential litigation) to a conclusion short of Court.

Mediation is a collaborative effort involving the parties, their attorneys and a hired, third-party neutral, the mediator. In family law cases, it is usually a retired chancellor or a private attorney, who has spent some significant portion of their career handling family law cases.

Mediation is an opportunity for you to have your say, be advised as to the strengths and/or weaknesses of your case, and find the common ground so that you may settle your case.

Mediation is really a guided settlement. If done right (and successfully), at the conclusion of the mediation you leave with a signed settlement and all of the needed documents that can be presented to the Judge to make it final.

Mediation is not an Arbitration. Arbitration has a person(s) that is making the final decision, not the parties. Arbitration is quasi-court.

Mediation is non-binding. Either you reach a deal or you do not. At the end of the day you must agree to get a result.

Mediation is not admissible in Court, if not settled.  Settlement positions cannot be discussed with the Court to show what someone would have done for settlement purposes.

Mediation may be right for you. It is quicker than trial, cheaper than trial, you have say in the outcome and is effective 9 out of 10 times.

Matthew Thompson is a family law attorney that mediates a significant number of cases and advises his clients as to the pros and cons of a mediation.

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Expungement Alternative: Certificate of Rehabilitation

An expungement is having your arrest/conviction record wiped clean. However, not every offense is entitled to such relief. But do not despair, you may have another option.

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Miss Code 97-37-5 makes it unlawful for a person convicted of a felony of this state …to possess any firearm, or any bowie knife, butcher knife, switchblade knife, metallic knuckles, blackjack or any muffler or silencer.

In the case of a person with a felony that is not eligible for expungement, or the person has more than one felony, that person may still be able to own and possess a firearm in Mississippi through obtaining a Certificate of Rehabilitation.

A person may apply to the court in which he was convicted for a Certificate of Rehabilitation. The Judge has discretion in awarding this Certificate, and the petitioner must show that he has been rehabilitated and led a useful, productive and law-abiding life since the completion of his sentence. The Court must also find that the person will not be likely to act in a manner dangerous to public safety.

Most often this option is for an older adult, who had a youthful indiscretion. An old, non-violent felony, a drug conviction for instance, prevents Granddad from taking grandson hunting.  Granddad paid his debt to society, abided by the law and a led a productive life. Perhaps his felony is not eligible for an expungement, but it may allow for a Certificate of Rehabilitation.

Matthew Thompson is a Mississippi Attorney and serves on the board with the Mississippi Volunteer Lawyers Project, an organization which holds Expungement clinics.

Matthew@bowtielawyer.ms             (601) 850-8000

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Divorce, Child Custody & Support, Alimony, Contempt, Modification, Adoption, Appeals, Corporate Counsel, Professional Licensure Issues, and Civil Litigation.