Biloxi Lighthouse: A Beacon in the Night

Gallery 03/11/2017 BowTieLawyer Leave a comment

On March 3, 1847, the United States Congress authorized $12,000 for the construction of a lighthouse in Biloxi, Mississippi. The lighthouse was completed and placed in operation in 1848. The tower is 45 feet from the base to the lantern room and displayed nine lamps.

The lighthouse is (now in the middle of Highway 90) across from the Biloxi visitors center. It is open for tours, weather permitting, every morning at 9:00 am, 9:15 am, and 9:30 am. $5 for adults, $2 for children and you get a Biloxi Lighthouse bracelet.

Throughout its history, the lighthouse has survived numerous hurricanes, including Camille and Katrina. Inside the lighthouse, blue lines are painted on the wall to mark historic storm surges above ‘mean sea level.’Hurricane Camille’s record of 17.5 feet was broken by Hurricane Katrina, which crested at 21.5 feet.

The Biloxi Lighthouse is one of the most photographed sites on the Gulf Coast. The lighthouse was featured on over 2 million registered Mississippi vehicles on license plates.

The Lighthouse uses 1-200 watt light bulb. It shines for 3 seconds and is dark for 1 second, a code unique to Biloxi. It has 3 backup bulbs if the primary bulb burns out.

In 2009, the landmark underwent a 14-month $400,000 restoration, finished in 2010. It is the only lighthouse in the United States to stand in the middle of a U.S. Highway and is now billed as 65 feet tall. Today you can climb the Light’s 57 steps and 8-rung ladder into the light room. –Wikipedia.

Matthew Thompson is a family law attorney in Mississippi, a History major and enjoys exploring Mississippi’s hidden and not-so-hidden gems.

Divorce, General Legal, Opinion

Mississippi Divorce: “A Change of Heart” on Cruelty.

03/07/2017 BowTieLawyer 9 Comments

Last week a firestorm erupted when Representative Andy Gipson single-handedly killed two bills seeking to modify divorce law. The first sought to allow for an additional ground for divorce if a spouse committed domestic violence, and the second would have added a ground based on two years of actual separation. Both died in Gipson’s committee without being considered. The ensuing firestorm placed Mississippi in the local, state and national spotlight for all of the wrong reasons.

However, it seems that Gipson has had a change of heart. This term, “change of heart,” was quoted from an interview Gipson had with the Clarion Ledger shortly after he killed the original domestic violence as a ground Bill, “[I]f someone has committed violence or assault, they need to have their behavior corrected, they need to have a change of heart.”

You may peruse the proposed amended Bill language here. In summary it seeks to clarify existing law and specifically add that the following conduct and burden of proof is included in the Cruelty analysis:

(a) Abusive Physical Conduct. A divorce …may be decreed to the injured party where one or more incidents of the following abusive physical conduct is established through the reliable testimony of one or more credible witnesses, any of whom may be the injured party: (i) that the injured party’s spouse attempted to cause, or purposely, knowingly or recklessly caused bodily injury to the injured party; or (ii) that the injured party’s spouse attempted by physical menace to put the injured party in fear of imminent serious bodily harm.

(b) Abusive Non-Physical Conduct. In addition to the foregoing subsection, a divorce …may also be decreed to the injured party where a pattern of abusive non-physical conduct of any one or more of the following is established through the reliable testimony of one or more credible witnesses, any of whom may be the injured party:

that the injured party’s spouse engaged in a pattern against the injured party of (i) threats and/or intimidation, (ii) emotional and/or verbal abuse, (iii) forced isolation, (iv) sexual extortion and/or sexual abuse, (v) stalking and/or aggravated stalking as defined in Section 97-3-107, and/or (vi) economic or financial abuse; provided that any such established pattern of the foregoing shall be shocking to the conscience of a reasonable person.

(2)Standard of Proof. For purposes of subsection (1) of this section, the standard of proof shall be: (a) Clear and convincing evidence when there is only the reliable testimony of a single credible witness, which may be the injured party presented to the court; or (b) Preponderance of the evidence when the reliable testimony of a single credible witness, which may be the injured party, is corroborated by other credible physical or forensic evidence presented to the court. – Senate Bill 2680 as amended by the House, March 6, 2017

This is a good change. It goes further than the original proposed bill. It addresses one of the biggest obstacles in obtaining a divorce on Cruelty, which is the corroboration requirement. Prior to this Bill the complaining party had to have a witness or such other corroboration of physical abuse, in addition to their own testimony. The problem with that is that in domestic violence situations it is routinely behind closed doors, in secret and it is all too common for the abused to not tell anyone. Routinely the abused does not seek help, either medical or otherwise, due to fear, shame, guilt and threats of it happening again.

This bill also defines forms of non-physical abuse to include threats, intimidation, emotional, verbal, economic and financial abuses. These are all forms of abuse and should be included and should provide for the means to end a marriage if the spouse is doing these things to harm the other spouse.

It is an interesting process watching law be made. Gipson, who last week was the goat is now all about the gloat, with him stating that the real problem all along was the Judges. The Judges that do not apply the law uniformly and what is a fault ground in one Court, is not in another. Perhaps, the ends justify the means in getting to the desired outcome. The above divorce language was added to a Bill that had previously passed the Senate that dealt with Abused and Neglected Children, clarifying relative care.

Any change that seeks to make Mississippi divorce law more consistent and more common sense is a good thing. Complaining about the process may seem petty, but it was you, the concerned citizens, that got Gipson’s attention and made this happen. I received one piece of “hatemail” due to my prior blog. He essentially took me to task for complaining, but not doing anything. However, it seems that the old adage may still be true. The squeaky wheel gets the grease.

Matthew Thompson is a Mississippi Divorce Attorney and is pleased when the Mississippi Legislature gets one right, regardless of how they got there. Here’s to a Change of Hearts!

Child Custody, Child Support, Divorce, General Legal, Opinion

Don’t Threaten the “D” Word Unless you Mean It.

03/06/2017 BowTieLawyer 1 Comment

D is for Divorce. It is a dreaded and unpleasant word. It is drastic. It is serious.

Divorce should never be taken lightly. It should not be cast around as if it is something less than a nuclear option. A cavalier attitude can lead to monumental consequences.

Threatening divorce could even contribute towards having grounds for divorce in the form of emotional or verbal abuse. So, what do you do if your spouse threatens divorce?

Recognize that they are upset about something and try to identify the problem.
Consider marriage counseling with a licensed counselor or pastor, with experience.
Have an assessment with an experienced family law attorney.
Educate yourself about:
- Divorce 101 in your state
- Financial assets and liabilities of the marriage
- Custody and Child Support 101

With divorce being a part of marriage and life there is no good reason not to be educated about the process.

Matthew Thompson is a Divorce attorney in Mississippi and cautions you not to say “divorce” if you don’t mean it.

Divorce, General Legal, Irreconcilable differences, Marriage, Opinion

Divorce Floodgates; Why Mississippi Will Always be Backwards and Our “Leaders” are Leading the Way.

03/02/2017 BowTieLawyer 4 Comments

Mississippi is again the butt of the joke, the laughingstock, and the backwards looking, Buckle of the Bible-belt, and proud of it.

Go Get My Belt

The Mississippi legislature has refused to “open the floodgates of divorce.” This is demonstrated by the recent deaths of two bills. One, providing an additional ground for divorce if your spouse commits Domestic Violence against you, and the second casualty, adding “two years of actual separation” as a fault ground.

A Change of Heart

Who killed it? The whole legislature is not to blame (or take credit). Both bills passed the Senate. Mississippi House of Representative, Andy Gipson, takes the credit for killing Senate Bill 2703. This is the bill that added Domestic Violence as a ground. Gipson would not even allow the merits of the bill to be considered for discussion in the House. Gipson told the Clarion Ledger “[w]e need to have policies that strengthen marriage. If a person is abusive, they need to have a change in behavior and change of heart.” Gipson went on to add that current, existing law covers the proposed changes rendering it unnecessary and that the change would “open the floodgates” of divorce. Gipson’s rationale relied upon contradictory points. Gipson argued out of both sides of his mouth.

However, Gipson is wrong. The current, existing law requires proof of habitual cruel and inhuman treatment. Habitual means constant. It is quite likely that one conviction for Domestic Violence would not be grounds for divorce in a large majority of Mississippi’s divorce Courts. The law provides that for one instance to be enough it has to be physically severe. Interestingly, one conviction is enough to provide that the offender can never possess a gun, ever again, but it does not provide that the spouse-victim can get a divorce.

Gipson provided no means for this change of heart either.

Don’t Go Changing the Rules in the Middle of the Game

State Senator Chris McDaniel put in his two cents, as well. As he voted against the proposal to add two years of bona fide, actual separation as an additional ground for divorce, which Gipson also killed. McDaniel stated that “given the state is in the marriage and divorce business, lawmakers shouldn’t be changing the terms of the contract midstream.” This comment literally means that he believes that people seeking to marry fully contemplate the 12 fault grounds for divorce, the Court’s burden of proof to establish same with corroborating witnesses and evidence, and then and only then enter into a marital contract. Ridiculous.

We’re Not Last in Something

Every state except Mississippi and South Dakota provide for a true No-Fault divorce process. This means that in the 48 other states, and the District of Columbia, if you are a resident and want a divorce you get a divorce. According to the Center for Disease Control, Mississippi is tied for the 15th highest divorce rate, per capita, in the United States. That means that over 30 states have a lower divorce rate than Mississippi, despite it being infinitely easier to gain a divorce in those states. Floodgates be damned.

“If You Ain’t First, Your’re Last” – Ricky Bobby

Mississippi is perennially last in every “good” category and first in the “bad” categories. Our head-in-the-sand “leaders” seem to be doing their best to keep us there. Mississippi ranks last in education for high-school graduation, last in school performance , one of the highest unemployment rates, and 49th in teen pregnancy rate. We are also statistically more obese, worse drivers and will die sooner. Maybe that last one is good?

But it Just Enriches Lawyers

I am a divorce lawyer. The current, existing laws only serve to enrich lawyers, not protect families. Our Courts, and man’s law, cannot make people love each other and cannot make people live together. The proposed law change, making divorce law make sense, would make it less lucrative to be a divorce lawyer. But, it’s still the right thing to do. While Gipson and McDaniel are both lawyers, the majority of our legislature is not. Only about 32% of the entire legislature are lawyers. 48 or so, out of 152. It is not a bunch of lawyers running amok. However, 45% of our legislature are Baptists. Some 69 or so, including Gipson and McDaniel. Even if, at best, this is not about money, it means that this is about forcing your subjective beliefs on someone else. Remember, this Country was founded upon religious freedoms. It is in the Constitution.

The Bottom Line

Why should you care? Because the current law promotes divorce blackmail. Divorces are a necessary “evil” of life and marriage. Divorce is rooted in the Bible and while it is despised, it is allowed for adultery, abandonment, abuse and adultery of the heart. The heart that needs to be changed is the heart of a lawmaker that seeks to keep a just-enough-abused, but not too much, spouse in a loveless “marriage.” That is not a marriage. The floodgates are already open. The law change actually serves to help and protect those that we are commanded to help and to protect.

Matthew Thompson is an opinionated divorce lawyer, adjunct professor that teaches family law, author of Mississippi Divorce, Alimony and Child Support, a native Mississippian and proud of all of the above.

Divorce, General Legal, humor, Opinion

Tip of the Day: Don’t Read Tone into Text Messages

02/24/2017 BowTieLawyer 1 Comment

“Can you believe that he texted me this?!?”

What did he text?

“When can I see the kids?”

So?

“He’s DEMANDING TO TAKE THE CHILDREN!”

Sometimes a text is just a text. The tip of the day is to not read tone into to text messages. On numerous occasions I have had clients read exchanges between themselves and their ex. They read their own words in an angelic voice, but their ex’s in a tone that is a maniacal monster. They literally change their tone of voice when reading the ex’s messages. It’s fascinating to watch. However, it can be counter productive.

Text messages are not proper English. Words are abbreviated. Punctuation is often non-existent. This blog struggles with correct grammar. Text messages don’t even try to be grammatically correct.

Applying tone allows for the potential of miscommunication, may result in an unreasonable response and can get you all riled up unnecessarily. Even if there is tone what difference does it make? Respond thinking that a judge may see this one day.

Matthew Thompson is a Mississippi Divorce Attorney and tries daily to not read tone into text messages.

Child Custody, Child Support, Crime, General Legal, Opinion

Prison for NOT Paying Child Support? YES

02/14/2017 BowTieLawyer Leave a comment

You have seen the recent news about a local man being arrested and jailed for his refusal to pay Court Ordered Child Support. Now, this is only done after one is initially ordered to pay, doesn’t pay, then is formally requested to pay, given notice, given an opportunity to pay or prove their inability to pay with specificity, and then and only then, jailed as a last resort. In these circumstances, knowing the layers of review, the opportunities afforded by the Court and the fact that everyone had a lawyer (actually multiple lawyers), my sympathy is nil. This is Contempt of Court and ultimately the wrong-doer has the keys to the jail. All you have to do is pay what you owe and you are free to go.

However, if you still don’t pay, your troubles can multiply.

TITLE 97. CRIMES
CHAPTER 5. OFFENSES AFFECTING CHILDREN
Miss. Code Ann. § 97-5-3 (2016)
§ 97-5-3. Desertion or nonsupport of child under age eighteen

Any parent who shall desert or wilfully neglect or refuse to provide for the support and maintenance of his or her…children…while said…children are under the age of eighteen (18) years shall be guilty of a felony and, on conviction thereof, shall be punished for a first offense by a fine of not less than One Hundred Dollars ($ 100.00) nor more than Five Hundred Dollars ($ 500.00), or by commitment to the custody of the Department of Corrections not more than five (5) years, or both; and for a second or subsequent offense, by a fine of not less than One Thousand Dollars ($ 1,000.00) nor more than Ten Thousand Dollars ($ 10,000.00), or by commitment to the custody of the Department of Corrections not less than two (2) years nor more than five (5) years, or both, in the discretion of the court.

Prison for not paying child support? Yes. It’s the law.

Matthew Thompson is a Child Custody and Child Support Attorney in Mississippi.

Divorce

Man jailed for owing $223K in back child support

02/07/2017 BowTieLawyer 3 Comments

(Photo: Rankin County Sheriff’s Department)

Sarah Fowler , The Clarion-Ledger Published 4:49 p.m. CT Feb. 7, 2017 |

After five years on the run, a Rankin County man is in jail for failure to pay almost a quarter of a million dollars in child support.

Tony Haywood, 50, of Brandon, was arrested by the Rankin County Sheriff’s Department last week, according to attorney Matthew Thompson.

Thompson represents Haywood’s ex-wife, Renee Ainsworth. Haywood and Ainsworth, who were married for 16 years, have three children together. The couple divorced in Georgia in 2004. Child support was demanded from a Georgia court.

Haywood did not pay child support, Ainsworth said, and her ex-husband’s check was eventually garnished. Haywood quit his job after the first garnishment and moved to Mississippi, Ainsworth said.

“He told me I would never see any child support after that,” Ainsworth said.

Ainsworth said, to her knowledge, Haywood has been employed at his family’s trucking business, Haywood Trucking, since 2004. Calls to Haywood Trucking went unanswered Tuesday.

Both Haywood and Ainsworth are from Mississippi. Ainsworth eventually moved back to Mississippi. To support her three children, she briefly signed up for SNAP benefits.

“He may have paid $10,000 the whole time we’ve been divorced,” Ainsworth said. “I don’t own a home anymore, my life has been turned upside down.”

In 2012, a Rankin County judge ordered Haywood to pay $152,298.63 in unpaid child support and Ainsworth’s attorney’s fees.

Haywood did not show up for the hearing, and the judge issued an arrest warrant.

Thompson said Haywood has “been on the lamb” for the last five years.

“He just went off the grid,” Thompson said. “Since January of ’12, he has not paid the current child support like he was supposed to.”

With interest, Haywood now owes $223,776.65.

Haywood last paid $116 in November, Ainsworth said.

He was arrested Feb. 2 for contempt of court by the Rankin County Sheriff’s Department. He is in the Rankin County Jail.

“In order for him to get out, he’s going to have to make a good faith sizable payment, as well he should,” Thompson said.

Ainsworth said she was shocked Haywood was arrested. Now, she said, she hopes she and her children can move forward.

“It’s about doing the right thing,” she said. “I’ve been praying for a miracle but this was so out of left field. I didn’t think he would ever get caught. I thought he was above the law … I’m just hoping something good will come out of it for me and my boys.”

Contact Sarah Fowler at 601-961-7303 or sfowler@gannett.com. Follow her on Facebook and Twitter.

http://www.clarionledger.com/story/news/local/2017/02/07/man-jailed-owing-223k-back-child-support/97608300/

Child Custody, Child Support, Divorce, Opinion, Visitation

Super Parents Parent Superly

02/06/2017 BowTieLawyer Leave a comment

With an exciting Super Bowl in our immediate rear-view mirror, what better time is there than to remind ourselves to be super parents?

Fortunately, being a super parent does not require that you be a perfect parent. As we all know, “Excellence does not require perfection.” – Henry James

Super Parents _______ the child(ren).