Bathing in Perfume Stinks.

It’s like a noxious punch to your nose.  Too much perfume.

This past Sunday I swooned while in church.  It was not the holy spirit, at least I don’t think so.  It was the elderly lady’s perfume in front of me.  For half of a second it was a mildly pleasant aroma, but then it overwhelmed me, burned my nostrils and stung my eyes.  I felt dizzy.  I could not believe it.

I fanned the fumes with the bulletin.  It was plenty cool so my fanning perplexed those nearby, but not downwind.  I fanned in a vain attempt to return the fumes back towards the source.  However, I am unaware that the culprit ever knew why the mad fanning or even noticed anything askew.  I am quite confident that the offender has lost all sense of smell…and quite some time ago.

As I sat there in waves of agony I wondered what to do.  Say something? But what would I say and what would that accomplish?  Move? I could not. I was trapped.  Why do people wear perfume? You cannot smell it on yourself after a minute and if she was wearing it for me, then no thank you! Pray about it? I did. Sadly this prayer was not answered.

Ultimately I stuck it out. I causally fanned my face so that I could have fresh air. I stuck my nose in the bulletin and breathed in the fumes of the ink, which mildly abated the other. I put my nose in the hymnal and enjoyed the scent of “old book” and I put my nose in the “Good Book.”

Perhaps there was a reason for the assault by aroma…

Matthew Thompson is a Mississippi Family Law attorney in Mississippi and prefers his air fresh.

Follow the blog:#BowTieLawyer Visit the website: #Thompson Law Firm  You may also contact Matthew with your family law matter or question at (601) 850-8000 or

3 thoughts on “Bathing in Perfume Stinks.”

  1. There used to be a young woman (20s, 30s) who worked in my building who bathed in perfume as well. She was a very nice, and very intelligent, person, but oh. . .that perfume. Rides in the elevator were torture, and after you got out you worried that you too had acquired the horrible aroma. It was over powering, the way that CS gas in basic training was over powering.

    I hate it when my wife wears perfume. Perhaps its a byproduct of that experience in my office, before I was married, but perfume has to be either a lingering remnant of an ancient and more stenchy era, or a cruel joke that’s played on the pocketbooks of women.

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