It’s like a noxious punch to your nose. Too much perfume.
This past Sunday I swooned while in church. It was not the holy spirit, at least I don’t think so. It was the elderly lady’s perfume in front of me. For half of a second it was a mildly pleasant aroma, but then it overwhelmed me, burned my nostrils and stung my eyes. I felt dizzy. I could not believe it.
I fanned the fumes with the bulletin. It was plenty cool so my fanning perplexed those nearby, but not downwind. I fanned in a vain attempt to return the fumes back towards the source. However, I am unaware that the culprit ever knew why the mad fanning or even noticed anything askew. I am quite confident that the offender has lost all sense of smell…and quite some time ago.
As I sat there in waves of agony I wondered what to do. Say something? But what would I say and what would that accomplish? Move? I could not. I was trapped. Why do people wear perfume? You cannot smell it on yourself after a minute and if she was wearing it for me, then no thank you! Pray about it? I did. Sadly this prayer was not answered.
Ultimately I stuck it out. I causally fanned my face so that I could have fresh air. I stuck my nose in the bulletin and breathed in the fumes of the ink, which mildly abated the other. I put my nose in the hymnal and enjoyed the scent of “old book” and I put my nose in the “Good Book.”
Perhaps there was a reason for the assault by aroma…
Matthew Thompson is a Mississippi Family Law attorney in Mississippi and prefers his air fresh.