Category Archives: Modifications

Are YOU a Terrible Parent?

Food, shelter and clothing are necessities and while providing them is the minimum, doing so alone does not make you a great parent.

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  • Do you encourage a relationship between the child and the other parent?
    • Just NOT badmouthing them does not make you a great parent. You should encourage and promote a good relationship.  Oh, and it’s required when parties have joint legal custody.
  • Do you withhold financial support from your child?
    • Money isn’t everything, but there is no excuse for not supporting your child.
  • Do you degrade the other parent to your child?
    • “I don’t lie to my child!” 1) Yes, you do. Everyday, to protect them. 2) Telling them how big a scoundrel the other parent is hurts the child. Half of their identity is from that scoundrel!
  • Do you prevent your child from seeing the other parent or interfere with the visitation?
    • Out of sight is NOT out of mind. Absence can make the heart grow fonder…

Matthew Thompson is a Child Custody Lawyer in Mississippi and reminds you to not be a terrible parent.

Follow the blog: BowTieLawyer 

You may also contact Matthew with your family law case, question or concern at (601) 850-8000 or Matthew@bowtielawyer.ms.

#1 Rule for Witnesses

Show up.

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If you have Court and your testimony matters, show up. If the issues before the Court impact you in a “bigly” manner, show up. Rarely is a good outcome achieved in your absence, and no amount of explanation will be sufficient if you weren’t there to witness it for yourself.

When you do show up, tell the truth.

Matthew Thompson is a Family Law Attorney in Mississippi and reminds you that 99% of the time that good results are earned, it is, in part, due to the fact that you showed up.

(601) 850-8000  www.BowTielawyer.MS   Matthew@bowtielawyer.ms

Child Testimony No-no; When having your child testify is the Wrong move.

Sometimes family law is the pits.

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You are in the fight of your life against the one person who promised before God and everybody to always love and cherish you. Where’s the love now?

But dragging others into the fight may be the wrong move. I routinely see parents wanting to bring the kids in to testify, while stating that they do not want to bring the kids in to testify. Kind of a sorry-not sorry attitude.

Child testimony is permissible.  There are some Gate-keeping obligations of the Court to apply prior to actual testimony being allowed. There are also various methods used by various Judges on taking child testimony. However, more basic than the trustworthiness of the testimomy and whether it should be in chambers or in open Court, is whether the child should be in that position at all.

The Mississippi Supreme Court stated, “We reiterate that parents in a divorce proceeding should if at all possible refrain from calling any of the children of their marriage…as witnesses, and counsel should advise their clients against doing so except in the most exigent cases.” Jethrow v. Jethrow, 571 So. 2d 270, 274 (Miss. 1990).

If there are not exigent circumstances, i.e.; abuse, criminal activity involving the child, physically dangerous activity and there is no other means to corroborate these facts, testimony may be required, but if it’s run of the mill dad did this or didn’t do that, or dad let the girlfriend give her a makeover, or mom’s boyfriend took them to Chik-fil-a, and these persons are not dangerous persons nor prohibited from being around per a Court Order, child testimony should be avoided.

Think about it from the child’s perspective, not your own. Your job is to do what is best for them, every time.

Matthew Thompson is a Child Custody attorney and cautions you on relying on child testimony when it’s not necessary.

Follow the blog: BowTieLawyer Visit the websiteThompson Law Firm  You may also contact Matthew with your family law case, question or concern at 

(601) 850-8000  or Matthew@bowtielawyer.ms

Don’t Ask This Question.

There is a lawyer cliché to never ask a question that you do not know the answer to.

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Asking that question may get you a self-serving answer that you did not anticipate.It may open Pandora’s box of bad evidence and a tidal wave of otherwise inadmissible evidence. All because you asked a question you should not have asked.

In a custody case, the opposing counsel called the child to testify. This was a dispute between mom and dad and the other attorney wanted the child to testify about what she wanted, specifically where and with whom she wanted to live. However, opposing counsel did NOT know what the child was going to say, but instead assumed it would be favorable to his client. After the routine introductory questions, the child was specifically asked,”If you had a magic wand and you could wave it and live wherever you wanted, where would that be?” After a few seconds of silence the child responded, “ A castle!” Fatal to the case? No. But not the answer the lawyer was looking for and it further helped prove positions that we had taken throughout the case regarding the child’s emotional maturity, an issue we believed worked in our favor.

Of course, sometimes it’s a critical issue and you have to ask the question. Tread carefully.

Another question not ask; When are you due?

Matthew Thompon is a Child Custody attoreny in Mississippi and tries not to ask questions that he does not know the answer to.

Follow the blog: BowTieLawyer Visit the websiteThompson Law Firm  You may also contact Matthew with your family law case, question or concern at 

(601) 850-8000  or Matthew@bowtielawyer.ms

 

Hearsay, Hearsay, Read All About It.

Hearsay is any out of Court statement that is used to prove the truth of the matter asserted.
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Hearsay is basically ANYTHING that is said outside of the Courtroom by ANYBODY.  It also includes writings, documents and many other things.

Most commonly hearsay occurs during witness testimony. Mom is testifying about how scared Beverly was when dad left her with the new and strange babysitter. However, mom did not see nor meet the babysitter. She didn’t even know she existed. Mom was trying to say that Beverly said the babysitter said “….”

Attorney: OBJECTION, HEARSAY.

Judge: SUSTAINED. DON”T TELL ME WHAT THE CHILD SAID OR WHAT THE BABYSITTER SAID.

The babysitter has to come testify or mom has to describe Beverly after dad’s weekend.

Mom:  She came home distressed and sullen. Her eyes were red, as if she’d been crying.

Beverly told her what happened, so she called dad. Now mom can say what dad said because he and she are the parties to the case, an exception to the hearsay rule.

Your attorney should practice your testimony and how to deal with hearsay.  You may always describe what you personally observed, what you did and what you said, and this is the way to possibly get around hearsay and/or having other witnesses involved testify.

Matthew Thompson is a family law attorney and encourages you to practice your testimony and telling your story without saying what somebody told you.

Follow the blog: BowTieLawyer 

You may also contact Matthew with your family law case, question or concern at (601) 850-8000 or Matthew@bowtielawyer.ms

Changing Custody vs. Visitation

Modification is the process that is used to change a Court Order.  I previously discussed how NOT to modify your papers here.

Here are the basics for the right way to modify the Court Order.  Child Custody, Visitation and Child Support are always modifiable. However, each has a separate standard.  Each require that you prove something different.

I.  Child Custody is the most difficult to modify. The non-custodial parent, must demonstrate 1) a material change in circumstances,  2) adverse to the child, 3) in the home of the custodial parent.  In English, dad has to show that there has been a big change, harmful to the child and it was mom’s fault.  It does not matter how much better dad is doing.  It does not matter that he has a new job, making good money, and has remarried Mary Poppins.  The Standard concerns what is going on in mom’s house.

A material change could be bad grades, serious behavior problems, serious problems with mom or serious problem with mom’s new beau. Now, once you show the bad change, harmful to the child, and it’s mom’s fault, dad wins, right? No. That provides the Court the authority to go back through the Albright factors for the Court to determine which parent is in the best interest of the child.

II.   Visitation has a lower standard to modify.  In order to modify visitation all one needs to do is demonstrate that the current schedule is not working.  This can be shown by showing that a party moved over several hours away making every other weekend unworkable or by showing that due to the child’s schedule, or a parent’s work schedule the visitation plan is not working.  This one is easier to pursue, but the outcome is not always predictable, so have a plan for what schedule will work if you are seeking to change it because of distance or a work schedule issue.

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Matthew Thompson is a Mississippi Child Custody Attorney and reminds you to follow your papers.

Follow the blog: BowTieLawyer Visit the websiteThompson Law Firm You may also contact Matthew with your family law case, question or concern at (601) 850-8000 or Matthew@bowtielawyer.ms

Where Does Your Child Live? Child Custody

“I have Joint Custody.”

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I hear this often,”…but I have Joint Custody!” However, the Court Order determines what you have.

There are 2 types of Custody in Mississippi Law. Legal Custody and Physical Custody.

Legal Custody is the decision-making right regarding the child related to their health, education and general welfare. It requires the parents to keep the other reasonably informed of the child’s goings-on.  It is commonly Joint Legal Custody, but this has no bearing on the schedule.

Physical Custody is where the child resides on a primary basis. Within Physical Custody there are typically 2 types. 1) One parent has Physical Custody subject to the other parent’s rights of visitation, or 2) Joint Physical Custody. Joint Physical Custody does not require it be a 50/50 time split, however it is defined as each parent spending a substantial amount of time with the child.

Joint Legal allows access to information and creates an obligation for consultation regarding issues concerning the child. Joint Physical is “Joint Custody.”

Matthew Thompson is a Mississippi Child Custody attorney.

Follow the blog: BowTieLawyer  You may also contact Matthew with your family law case, question or concern at (601) 850-8000

The SleepOver Challenge; How to Judge Yourself and Others

Serving as Family Law Attorney leads to having information that you wish you did NOT have.

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From swinging key parties to recreational substance abuse, the surprises just keep coming.  I am constantly surprised at what “normal” people are doing, even your neighbors.

One way to judge your actions is to ask yourself “Do I pass the SleepOver Challenge?” This simple test is whether you would allow your child to go to a sleepover at the neighbor’s house if they were doing what you were doing.

If you answer “yes,” then a Judge would likely be okay with your conduct (assuming you are in the bounds of societal norms).  If your answer is “no,” then it’s time to re-examine what you are doing.

And, if you are engaging in some really bizarre behind closed doors conduct, just disregard this, keep it to yourself and don’t invite anyone for a sleepover.

Matthew Thompson is a Child Custody Attorney practicing Family Law in Mississippi.

Visit the website: Thompson Law Firm

You may also contact Matthew with your family law case, question or concern at (601) 850-8000 or Matthew@bowtielawyer.ms.

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