Tag Archives: divorce

Don’t Hate.(At least not in public or a documentable fashion)

06/10/2013 BowTieLawyer 1 Comment

In family law it is easy to lose your cool. It is easy to react, to lash out and to tell that good-for-nothing so-and-so just what you think. But, don’t!

No good comes from telling him off. There is no use in demonstrating how crazy she is. She won’t change and if it’s coming from you it’s probably a dirty trick. At least she thinks so.

The urge to send that hateful text or email is strong, but you cannot take it back once you do. You figure, well he is a “SOB,” or she is “CRAZY!” But emailing, texting or screaming at the other party brings you down to their level. Sometimes in divorce the high road is lonely and not fun, but take it anyway. It serves your needs. And sometimes there is no high road, just lesser degrees of the low road.

This is tough advice to give and harder advice to take. But remember, every email and text is being reviewed, saved and printed. It is much easier to not send the hate than to try to explain to the judge why you sent 35 messages of what terrible a human being the other person is, while trying to argue that you are the reasonable one in the relationship.

Examples of what NOT to send;

“I H8 U!” “F#(% YOU”

“DIE!!!!” “I never LOVED U!!!”

“You can have everything.” “I don’t want nothing!!”

More on what not to do; 5 FaceBook Don’ts and 5 more FaceBook Don’ts.

So, who can you complain to? Your mother, lawyer, counselor or any of the three. No one else, though.

Matthew Thompson is a family law attorney in Mississippi and suggest that you NOT send that hate-filled message. It may come back to haunt you.

Follow the blog: BowTieLawyer Visit the website: Thompson Law Firm

You may also contact Matthew with your family law case, question or concern at (601) 850-8000 or Matthew@bowtielawyer.ms

Divorce, Opinion

Divorce Not-So-Funnies

05/31/2013 BowTieLawyer 1 Comment

On the heels of “Divorce Funnies” posted earlier this week, comes the not-so-funnies. These may hit a little too close to home, but ultimately funny, too.

Matthew Thompson is a family law attorney in Mississippi and has never put an outboard motor on a dining table.

Follow the blog: BowTieLawyer Visit the website: Thompson Law Firm

You may also contact Matthew with your family law case, question or concern at (601) 850-8000 or Matthew@wmtlawfirm.com.

Divorce, Opinion

Divorce Funnies

05/28/2013 BowTieLawyer 2 Comments

“You can turn painful situations around through laughter. If you can find humor in anything…you can survive it.”

-Bill Cosby

Matthew Thompson is a family law attorney in Mississippi and encourages you to keep your sense of humor.

Follow the blog: BowTieLawyer Visit the website: Thompson Law Firm

You may also contact Matthew with your family law case, question or concern at (601) 850-8000 or Matthew@wmtlawfirm.com.

Child Custody, Divorce, General Legal, Irreconcilable differences, Opinion

Why Settling your case is BEST!

05/18/2013 BowTieLawyer 6 Comments

“I want a bulldog!”

“I want to take him to the cleaners!”

“It’s the principle!”

Oftentimes I am asked the difference between settling a case and litigating a case to a conclusion. In my experience, more often than not, settling your case leads to a better result. Here’s why.

It eliminates the uncertainty of a Court ruling. You know what you get.
It usually results in a quicker end.
It can save money.
Settlement gives your more control and “say” in the final outcome.
Settling your case allows the matter to end on a “positive” note, perhaps more amicable than otherwise.

Cases can be settled through a variety of ways, through negotiation or mediation, either through the parties, through the attorneys or a combination of both.

These are just some of the reasons why settling your case may be best. However, there are also those cases that cannot be settled. Typically, hotly contested custody cases cannot be settled because both parties genuinely believe that they have to fight for what they think is best. And sometimes the other party is just a big jerk that makes everything a fight!

Know this;

People don’t get taken to the cleaners (unless they agree).
Suing on principle is unsatisfying and expensive.
Bulldog lawyers seldom make a difference in the outcome, they only alter how you get there.

Matthew Thompson is a family law attorney in Mississippi and can attest that big jerks can try to fight, but usually get what they deserve…

Divorce, General Legal, Irreconcilable differences, Opinion

Divorce, Two Ways

05/14/2013 BowTieLawyer 6 Comments

In Mississippi it can be very difficult to be awarded a divorce. There are basically two ways to get a divorce.

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The most common way is Irreconcilable Differences. This is what is referred to as “no fault.” However, MS is NOT a true no fault state, so in order to get a divorce on Irreconcilable Differences both parties have to agree to the divorce AND all the terms of the divorce, including; custody, visitation, support, alimony, division of the assets and debts. If there is no agreement to all of the issues there may not be a divorce.

The other way to get a divorce in MS is based upon Fault Grounds. In order to get a divorce on Fault Grounds you have to sue based upon fault grounds and prove your case. Most commonly fault includes; adultery, cruelty, drug use, drunkenness, and abandonment. There are a few other Fault Grounds, but are rarely used; incest, bigamy, insanity, etc.

It can be a frustrating circumstance when you and the other party cannot agree to all issues and neither party has grounds. You may be stuck. In this instance one party may resort to divorce blackmail, which is alive and well in MS.

Matthew Thompson is a Family Law attorney and cautions that divorce 2-ways can be caused by 3-ways.

Follow the blog & Visit the website:: BowTieLawyer Thompson Law Firm

You may also contact Matthew with your family law case, question or concern at (601) 850-8000 or Matthew@bowtielawyer.ms

Divorce, General Legal, Marriage, Opinion

Ringing In Valentine’s Day; Who gets the Ring when things go Wrong?

02/14/2013 BowTieLawyer Leave a comment

Valentine’s Day is one of the most popular days to get engaged! Along with Christmas and New Years, Valentine’s Day is the holiday for popping the question. But who gets the RING if things don’t pan out?

In Mississippi, the ring is a pre-marriage gift. It can be argued that the ring is actually a conditional gift creating a contractual obligation. How Romantic!

Here’s the scenario. An offer of marriage is proposed and a ring given in exchange for a “Yes,” being an agreement to marry. So long as both parties uphold their end; the fellow gives the ring and the lady marries the fellow = offer + acceptance & valuable consideration. At this point the contract is fulfilled and the rings is now the property of the lady. But what if they were only married for a minute? Well, if they married the contract is fulfilled. Certainly, there could be exceptions due to fraud or overreaching, but these are not typical.

The chancellor properly concluded that the engagement ring was a gift from [the fellow] to [the lady]. That gift necessarily predated the marriage of the parties. Thus, it was an asset brought by [the lady] into the marriage and was not a marital asset subject to equitable division. MacDonald v. MacDonald, 698 So.2d 1079 (¶ 13) (Miss.1997). It was, therefore, beyond the chancellor’s authority to order [the lady] to return possession of that item to [the fellow] and the refusal to do so cannot constitute reversible error on appeal. Neville v. Neville, 734 So.2d 352 (Ms.App. 1997).

Want to be safe, legally speaking anyway? Then make your marriage proposal contingent, as follows*:

“Dearest One,

I love you and desire to marry you. As a symbol of same, I am making a wholly contingent offer to you of this ring, of significant monetary and sentimental value, but a likewise sizable lien against same, in exchange for your promise to marry me. In the event that we do NOT get married, then said ring shall be returned to me in the same condition as presented, or alternatively you may elect to assume said lien, in full, for said ring and shall indemnify and defend me from any liability thereon. ‘Will you accept this rose?'” *(a paraphrase of colleague J. Kitchens)

Matthew Thompson is a family law attorney that you can engage in the event you need a divorce, and if you use the above contingent marriage proposal, you just might!

Child Custody, Divorce, General Legal, Modifications

Jurisdiction; Where to Sue.

01/08/2013 BowTieLawyer 1 Comment

Jurisdiction is one of those legal terms we hear a lot, but aren’t always sure what it means. In the legal world, for a Court to be able to act upon a filed complaint and grant relief to a party, the Court must have jurisdiction.

Jurisdiction provides the Court authority to makes decisions over a party and the topic of their lawsuit.

Mississippi law provides rules for determining if a Court has jurisdiction and where that may be. MCA § 93-5-5, contains the residency requirements for a divorce action. Additionally, all actions for divorce will be filed in the Chancery Court for the appropriate county.

The jurisdiction of the chancery court in suits for divorce shall be confined to the following cases:

(a) Where one (1) of the parties has been an actual bonafide resident within this state for six (6) months next preceding the commencement of the suit. If a member of the armed services of the United States is stationed in the state and residing within the state with his spouse, such person and his spouse shall be considered actual bonafide residents of the state for the purposes of this section, provided they were residing within the state at the time of the separation of the parties.

(b) In any case where the proof shows that a residence was acquired in this state with a purpose of securing a divorce, the court shall not take jurisdiction thereof, but dismiss the bill at the cost of complainant.

In plain terms, this means you file your divorce action in your home county, or the County that you have resided in for at least 6 months, immediately filing the action. If you were married in another stated and meet the Mississippi residency requirements you file in Mississippi. If were married on the Coast, but live in Jackson and have for over 6 months you file in Jackson. Sometimes, if you wish to file in your current area, but have not met the residency requirements you may have to wait. Sometimes there are disputes as to residency and the parties can litigate where the case should be litigated. Some states have different residency requirements than Mississippi so don’t bank on the 6 months if you are in another state.

There are also a number of exceptions or tweaks to the jurisdictional rules. Another Court, or State, could have “emergency jurisdiction” in child custody cases pursuant to the Uniform Child Custody Jurisdiction Enforcement Act. (UCCJEA). Also, if your divorce was originally in another state or another county, that original Court would have original jurisdiction and there are additional rules to “transfer” jurisdiction and in some instance you cannot move it. Military family law cases also have exceptions to the traditional jurisdiction rules.

Jurisdiction is a critical aspect to consider when filing. It is imperative that your case be filed in the right place geographically and the right Court. You also may have options between differing Courts based on what is at issue in your case. Talk to your lawyer about where your case should be filed.

Matthew is a family law attorney and native Mississippian. Follow his blog, here, at http://www.BowTieLawyer.wp.com.

You may also contact Matthew with your family law or jurisdictional question or concern at (601) 850-8000 or Matthew@wmtlawfirm.com.

Divorce, General Legal, Opinion

Holiday Burnout; 3 Tips to Cope and Keep Moving Forward.

01/03/2013 BowTieLawyer Leave a comment

Now that the Holiday’s hustle and bustle are behind us it is common for an emotional lull or brief bout of depression to set in. These are the Christmas Blues and are real. These are especially common in those persons dealing with the stress of family law litigation.

Christmas Blues happen for a number of reasons; all of the excitement and anticipation of the holidays have passed, financial problems that were ignored can no longer be (your personal financial cliff), the relatives you actually enjoy seeing have gone back home, and the “doldrums” of work and real life are back, in full force. There is even a medical term that can be applied; seasonal affective disorder.

There are a few mechanisms to cope with these Christmas Blues. I have previously blogged on dealing with stress by keeping a routine, adding some form of physical fitness and making your bed everyday, these continue to be applicable. However, the Christmas Blues can be counteracted with a few other techniques, which also happen to be appropriate if you are dealing with or anticipate dealing with family law issues.

Get a financial check-up. Meet with your financial advisor or CPA. Hire one if you don’t have one. You may think you don’t have a need or do not have enough assets to warrant it, however knowing what you have, where it goes and what to do with it helps regardless of your situation.
Get a medical check-up. This is almost as unpopular as going to the dentist, but do it anyway. Knowing what’s going on with your health is important and can head off future issues. I know you’re busy and feel fine. Do it anyway.
Get a spiritual check-up. Why do bad things happen to good people? Why is their so much illness and tragedy in the world? I do not have all of the answers, but these are common questions. Being centered, be it through your church, other place of worship or out in the woods, helps you cope with life’s unanswered questions.

These are not earth shattering, though may be annoying or hard to schedule. Do it anyway. You will not regret it.

Matthew is a divorce attorney, food blogger, and Mississippian, none of which he apologizes for. Follow the @ http://www.BowTieLawyer.ms.

You may contact the Firm at (601) 850-8000 or Matthew@bowtielawyer.ms.