“Congratulations!”  It’s an odd thing to think and to say at then end of a marriage.

Sometimes “congratulations” are not appropriate.  Neither party is happy and it’s not what either party wanted.  However, a divorce is not just the end of something.  It is also the beginning of a new life.  A life where even if you weren’t the spouse you should have been, you are not destined to repeat that.  Perhaps you have not been the best parent, there’s time to repair those relationships.  While you will still face difficulties and you will more than likely still have to deal with your ex, the control that was once there is limited and you can change bad habits.

There’s a book out called the Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg.  This was recommended to me by a Business Coach named Glenn Finch with Atticus.  Atticus is  unique company which advises lawyers & law firms on how to standout in their field. (insert corny joke here).  The Power of Habit basically notes that bad habits, while they cannot be eliminated, can be replaced.  You can train your brain to react to a stimuli in a different manner than “normal” by replacing the habit.

It’s often thought that the “second-time-around-spouse” gets the “better” you.  You’ve learned from your mistakes and experience is the best teacher.  And sometimes, just sometimes, you got rid of someone whose mission, it seemed, was just to bring you down.

Congratulations, you are divorced.

Matthew Thompson is Divorce & Family Law Attorney in Mississippi and knows that “congratulations” is not always appropriate, but silver linings and all…  

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