All posts by BowTieLawyer

Matthew operates the Thompson Law Firm, pllc, a Mississippi based Family Law firm emphasizing; Divorce, Child Custody, Child Support, Modification, Contempt and Appeals, handling family law cases throughout Mississippi. (601) 850-8000 Matthew@bowtielawyer.ms www.BowTieLawyer.ms
Child Custody, Child Support, Divorce

Separation Preparation…

1 Comment

First of all, there is no such thing as “Legal Separation” in Mississippi. The closest equivalent is a Temporary Order. This Order can either be the result of a temporary hearing or due to an agreement of the parties reduced to writing and approved by the Court. A temporary hearing and resulting Order, or Agreed Order, are usually done when a fault based divorce is on file with the Court.

A Temporary Order deals with short-term financial and custody/visitation issues, pending a final hearing.  This is intended to be a “band-aid” on the situation and to maintain the status quo while  trial preparations are happening.

A “Legal Separation,” while not recognized in MS law, is typically a different animal than a Temp. Order. Parties can separate in Mississippi, though not “officially”.

The thought behind the a Separation is to allow a cooling off period or a trial-run at no longer living as husband and wife and seeing how that works.

The problem with attempting it in MS is that it requires a great deal of trust between the parties as there is no Order, or teeth, if one party reneges on their agreement with regards to finances or custody.  And typically there is not a great deal of trust between separating parties.  However, a separation is a viable option in the tool belt of bringing calm to highly emotional domestic situations and can even lead to reconciliation in some circumstances.

What needs to be considered for separating, be it agreed or Court ordered?

  • The Children.  What is the custody and visitation schedule?  A Court would use the Albright factors to make a determination.  If by agreement, the parties have a lot of leeway in what the arrangement is.
  • Financial Support.  How much child support? How much spousal support?  The Court requires each party to complete a financial statement and exchange it with the other party.  Support awards are based on adjusted gross income and reasonable needs of the parties.
  • The House.  Who stays in the home?  Typically it’s the spouse that has the children, but regardless of who gets the house on a temporary basis, it does not mean that is how it will be at a final hearing.
  • The Bills.  Who pays what?  The house, utilities, school, cars, credit cards, etc… This is always a bone of contention.
  • Conduct During Separation.  In Mississippi you are married until you are divorced.  Even if you and your spouse have an “agreement” your spouse could still get grounds for divorce against you during a separation.
  • How Long is the Separation?  When do you decide to try something else?  This will be based on your specific facts and circumstances.

Matthew Thompson is a Litigation Attorney in Mississippi and can help you separate on temporary and permanent basis.

Follow the blog:#BowTieLawyer 

img_6390

Divorce, Opinion

Reasons for Getting Divorced~$ex, $ & boredom.

1 Comment

There is article after article and study after study listing the Top Reasons for Divorce.  Here are my “unscientific” Top Reasons for Divorce.

courtesy of stockimages/freedigitalphotos.net

1) Sex.  The complaint is either one wants too much, one wants too little, or one is having it with someone they are not supposed to.  Frequently its a combination of all 3.

2) Money.  The complaint here is that one has too little, one wants too much, or one is sharing it with someone they are not supposed to, or spending on something they should not, or spending money they don’t have…

3) Getting Old.  This complaint can refer to;  a) the concept of the relationship getting old, losing its “new car smell,” becoming incompatible,  or it can refer to b) the parties actually getting old and, typically, the fellow trading his current spouse for a newer, younger model.  Crass, but true.  Additionally, getting old can refer to c) the bad habits, the nagging, the actions that you used to be able to tolerate from your spouse, but have gotten on your nerves so much that you can no longer take it.

These are frequent reasons that cause divorce, or at least contribute to the cause of divorce.

What else do you see as a primary reason for divorce? Post in Comments or Email.

Thompson Law Firm, PLLC     http://www.bowtielawyer.ms  (601) 850-8000

Matthew@bowtielawyer.ms

Child Custody, Divorce, Opinion

The BEST thing you can do for your CHILD…

5 Comments

In Family Law the “best interest of the child” is the paramount concern for the Court.  When parents are feuding over custody, or child related matters, the Court is charged with deciphering what is in the best interest of the child by determining the facts of a particular situation and how those facts relate to a list of certain factors.  This is called an Albright Analysis (previously blogged).

However,  while this may result in the Court determining which parent is in the best interest of the child- it only ultimately results in a comparison of the two and does not indicate what act/actions are in the best interest of the child.  In English, this means the Court picks the better parent, but it does not automatically mean that the favored parent is a great parent.  Rather it just means they were better than the alternative.

So, what is a great parent?  A parent that reads to their young child, provides for their education, health and general welfare.  A parent that has fun with their child and encourages creative thinking and activities.  Well, yes.  All of these are factors in good parenting.

But what is the best thing that YOU can do for your child?  Love them. Sure, but in addition, LOVE the other parent.

What?  That creep?  Yes.  Loving the other parent means you make sure the other parent is in that child’s life in a meaningful way.  Loving the other parent means you are not denigrating them to the child or others.  Loving the other parents means you do not do anything to cause your child to not love the other parent.

I see the opposite too much!  One parent hates the other.  They try to punish the other parent by restricting their access to the child. This is wrong. (There may be circumstances that warrant this, but they are rare and are usually temporary.)

What is the BEST thing you, as a parent, can do for your Child?   LOVE the other parent enough to let them have a relationship with the child.

Follow the blog: BowTieLawyer 

You may also contact Matthew with your family law case, question or concern at (601) 850-8000 or Matthew@BowTieLawyer.ms

black-bow

Child Custody, Crime, Divorce, Opinion

It’s “ok” to LIE to your Children.

3 Comments

It never fails.  One of the aggrieved parties to a divorce tells the dirty details to the child regarding the other parent.  This is never appropriate or “ok.”  Never. Never to a young child. What about when….? No. Never.

But that parent, with their righteous indignation tells me, or testifies, “I do NOT lie to my child?”  My response?  “Well, what about the Tooth Fairy?“

digitalart/ freedigitalphotos.net

We lie to our children a lot.  A LiveScience.com article stated it better, “Parents Lie to Children Surprisingly Often.”  This article concluded that parent’s lie to protect their child and lie to preserve some semblance of innocence and childhood for their children.  These are all good things.

The Tooth Fairy question gets that indignant parent every time.  There is no good reason to spill the beans about the other parent’s misdeeds to the child.  You should be telling them that “mommy” loves them very much.  Not that she cares more about dancing on a pole with bikers than being a decent mom, even if it’s true.  When the kids are older they will realize the truth and appreciate you all the more for allowing them to have a childhood and to love their other parent, even if the other parent did not deserve it.

It’s okay to lie to your children.  Who says so? Me, a divorce attorney.

Disagree? Tell me why in comments or via email.

 

Matthew Thompson is a Child Custody Attorney in Mississippi and believes sometimes lying to your children is in their best interests.

Follow the blog:#BowTieLawyer Visit the website: #Thompson Law Firm  You may also contact Matthew with your family law matter or question at (601) 850-8000 or Matthew@bowtielawyer.ms

 

Divorce, Opinion

The Great Debate? Not in Court.

1 Comment

If you or I answered questions in Court like the presidential candidates do at the recent town hall debate we would be running the risk of being held in Contempt!

Courtesy of freedigitalphotos.com

In Court parties/witnesses must answer the question asked.  It is preferred that the answer be “yes” or “no” and then an explanation offered if necessary.  Obviously if it’s not a “yes or no question,” answer the question asked.  This can be very difficult to do and takes practice to get this right.  One of the things that can aid this is to practice or rehearse the actual questions with your attorney.  By way of example, one of the candidates was asked does the Dept of Energy consider its role to work to reduce gas prices.  The answer given was not “yes” or “no.”  I am actually not sure what the answer was…and I listened to it.

If you find yourself in Court, not answering the question asked may result in the Court to conclude you are being deceptive.  This is not an impression you want to create.

Another thing to be sure of is to answer only the question asked.  Do not answer what is not asked and do not offer more than what is asked.  The best example I can think of is when a party was asked if they had committed an affair with “Mary” since the separation.  The answer was, “I have not committed an affair with ‘Mary’…since the separation.”  There was an awkward pause.  The awkward pause resulted in the follow up question of when did you commit your affair with Mary.  The party told on himself by not just saying “No” which would have been a completely truthful answer to the question asked.

Answer Yes or No.  Explain if necessary.  Sometimes less is more.

Matthew Thompson

Thompson Law Firm, PLLC    (601) 850-8000

Matthew@wmtlawfirm.com

Divorce, Opinion

How to Hire an Attorney.

7 Comments

One of the most daunting tasks in a legal situation  is hiring an attorney.  Its is not something you ever look forward to doing, regardless of the reason for why you need an attorney.  But, there are several things you should do before contacting an attorney and several things you should do afterwards.

Pre-Attorney check:

  • Ask your Family.     It is likely someone in  your family, or a close friend, has been through the need for an attorney and used one.  This will help you determine who to use and just as importantly who NOT to use.
  • Ask your Preacher.    Your preacher, pastor, rabbi, etc… may well know who can help you.  Sometimes they are reluctant to get involved as it may pit one parishioner vs. another, however, in my experience they try to steer either one or both to someone equipped to help that particular person.
  • Ask Trusted Professionals.    Your CPA, Banker, Counselor.  They know who has a good reputation in the community and in some instances may have worked with the attorney.
  • Review the Web.  Do they have a web presence? Review their site for content? Review for practice ares; Jack of all trades or limiting their practice?

Interview the Attorney:

  • The Initial Assessment (or consultation, as some attorneys call it) is as much you gathering information on the attorney as the attorney is getting information on, about and from you.
  • Ask about Experience; trial experience, experience in the area of law you seek, experience with the potential judges and counsel-opposite(s).
  • Explain.  See if they can explain the process in English.  I know some big words, but I also know when to use them.
  • Ask about Fees.  Know what a “Retainer” is. (Unearned money which the attorney earns as they work on your case. Typically you are billed for every phone call, email, text, letter, appointment, interview and court appearance).
  • Trust your gut.  Instinct matters.  If you don’t click, don’t have that trust – move on.  There are a lot of attorneys out there.
  • Be smart about it too.  If the attorney can explain it, has the experience and is in your budget, don’t delay taking action, sometimes you have to make the best decision, on the best information available at the time.  (Maybe your gut is wrong….)
  • Be Honest with them.  Every dirty detail.

After the Hire:

  • Be clear on Expectations.
  • Communicate, Communicate, Communicate. (Phone, text, email, as needed)
  • Follow their advice.  That is why you hired them.
  • Give feedback.

This is not a perfect list, but it is some food for thought when hiring an attorney.

Matthew Thompson is a family law attorney that gets hired more often than not.  If you think you need an attorney you probably do.  

Follow the blog: BowTieLawyer    Visit the website: Thompson Law Firm

You may also contact Matthew with your family law case, question or concern at (601) 850-8000 

Bow Tie, Divorce, Opinion

What to do when you get Legal Papers?

Leave a comment

It has to be one of the worst feelings in the world.  You are working, perhaps at your job, or you jut got home and there is a strange person there with an envelope.  You hope against hope that it is not a package from 1) the IRS and/or 2) an attorney.  The person may be a plain clothes process server you have never seen before or even a sheriff’s deputy or constable.  What do you do? Run? Scream? Invoke the Castle Doctrine? No.

Image courtesy of pixbox77 / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Breath. Take the papers. Be polite to that person, as they may later be a witness.  If not nice, at least be indifferent.

What to do When you get Legal Papers?

  • 1) Take the papers.
  • 2) Review the papers.
  • 3) Make a copy.
  • 4) Take them to an attorney.

“Okay. I took the papers. What next?” Call your lawyer.  DO NOT IGNORE THE PAPERS!  Do not put them in the car to be forgotten. Do not pile them up with your junk mail.

In most instances the moment you received those papers a potentially critical deadline began to run.  That deadline can be from 2 days to 7 to 30 or 45 days, but nonetheless a clock is now ticking.

On numerous occasions I have had a potential client call and say that they have Court on Wednesday. I think, “well today is Monday they can’t do that.” My next questions is when did you get the papers? “June. About a month and a half ago”  Yikes. Don’t do this.

Think of all the anxiety they have put themselves through with the weight of those legal papers on their mind. If you get papers take them to an attorney.  Have them reviewed, know what they mean and how you need to respond to them.

Matthew Thompson is a family law attorney and has been served papers before, so he knows what he’s talking about.  Trust the Bow Tie.

Follow the blog: BowTieLawyer    Visit the website: Thompson Law Firm

You may also contact Matthew with your family law case, question or concern at (601) 850-8000 or Matthew@wmtlawfirm.com.

Food Related, Opinion

Go to the Fair!

Leave a comment

MS State Fair, October 2012.

It’s the first weekend in October in Mississippi. The air is cool and crisp in the mornings. We are enjoying some of the best weather Mississippi has to offer and the Mississippi State Fair is in town for nearly two weeks!

Attending the fair is an annual tradition in our family. We go for food, fun and to see the “sights.” The Mississippi fair is as diverse a cross-section of MS as you can get; young and old, blue collar, white collar and no collar. Half of the fun is people watching.

Some great memories are of the “arm-band” nights and riding the rides, always being a little nervous that they could come flying apart and send your hurdling towards High Street. It never happened. It was also fun to watch the Hurricane, the Cyclone, or whatever the “natural disaster” named twisting ride was in action that year. Ever wondered what that hose is for nearby?

Enjoy some junk food, but not too much. Oh, and if you are wondering what is legal about this…Go to the Fair, don’t have an Affair!

**COMMON QUESTIONS REGARDING THE FAIR**

  • What are the ride ticket prices? 4 coupons = $5; 22 coupons – $25; 55 coupons – $60
  • When do they start charging at the gates? During the weekdays at 1:00. On weekends at 9:00 A.M. Saturdays and 10:00 A.M. Sundays.
  • Do you have to pay for parking? Yes, Parking on the MS State Fairgrounds is $5.00. Businesses outside the fairgrounds charge their own rates for parking and it not controlled by the Fair Commission
  • How much are arm bands? Arm band rates are different for each special. Please check our website for more information.
  • Can I bring a wagon for my children? Yes
  • What time are the concerts? Most concerts begin at 7:30 P.M.
  • Do I have to pay gate admission if I’m buying an armband? Yes, gate admission is not included in the cost of the armband
  • When do the rides begin? Please check the website for the times that the rides will begin each day.
** Please check the website at www.msfair.net for all information regarding the fair.