Category Archives: Child Custody

Do Not Answer a Question with “Sure.”

10/27/2017 BowTieLawyer Leave a comment

Testifying in Court can be hard. It causes stress, anxiety, and it is seldom a great experience. However, some responses should be eliminated from your vocabulary.

(adjective) surer, surest.

1. free from doubt as to the reliability, character, action, etc., of something:

to be sure of one’s data.

2. confident, as of something expected:

sure of success.

3. convinced, fully persuaded, or positive:

to be sure of a person’s guilt.

(Slang definitions & phrases for sure)

Yes; certainly: Sure, I’ll support you (1842+)

While a slang use for sure could mean yes, it does not sound like it in Court.

NOT GOOD

Q: Mr. Witness, don’t you agree that telling your child that the other parent is a deceitful, hateful train-wreck is inappropriate.

A: Sure.

It sounds dismissive. It could be treated as a “whatever” response. You do not want to create an impression with the Court that you do not take the matter seriously.

BETTER

Q: Mr. Witness, don’t you agree that telling your child that the other parent is a deceitful, hateful train-wreck is inappropriate.

A: Yes, I did. It was wrong. I regret it. I will not discuss grown up things with the child again. I’m sorry for that.

This response is not dismissive. It answers the question. It demonstrates remorse and that the conduct will not repeat itself.

BEST*

Q: Mr. Witness, don’t you agree that telling your child that the other parent is a deceitful, hateful train-wreck is inappropriate.

A: Yes, I agree that would be inappropriate, but I never did that, nor would I.

This response is the best. It answers the question directly and advises the Court you did not do the conduct being complained of. (This response is only possible if it is the truth.*)

Of course you can say the word sure and use it in other responses, but it should likely not be a one-word response.

Matthew Thompson is a Family Law attorney in Mississippi and is sure that you should not answer a question with “sure” most of the time.

Child Custody, Child Support, Opinion, Visitation

Judge gets Benched!

10/26/2017 BowTieLawyer 1 Comment

Pearl Youth Court is closed for business.

The City of Pearl’s Youth Court judge, John Shirley, has resigned and Pearl’s Youth Court has been permanently closed. The abrupt closure comes after a complaint was lodged accusing the judge of entering a No Contact Order against a mother from contacting her 4-month-old child until she paid court-imposed fines and this continued for a period of 14-months.

According to The Clarion Ledger, an order was entered on Wednesday, October 25, 2017, reversing Judge Shirley’s earlier decision and returning the child to the moth

“Judge Shirley said Thursday he couldn’t specifically discuss the woman’s case, but said, whenever he issued a no-contact order, it was due to abuse or neglect of a child that hadn’t been corrected. Also, Shirley said he resigned his Pearl Youth Court judge position because of dispute with the city’s mayor.” Id.

” ‘I didn’t resign because of any pressure,’ ” Shirley said. ” ‘I resigned because I got tired of the policies in that administration.’ “

Judge Shirley was no stranger to criticism, though that is not too uncommon for Judges that rule on matters involving Family Law and Custody. While his resignation was abrupt and the closure of the Youth Court a surprise, to many it was a welcome surprise.

The Rankin County Youth Court in Pelahatchie is hearing the Pearl Youth Court matters that are pending.

Matthew Thompson is a family law and child custody attorney in Mississippi and previously practiced in Pearl Youth Court.

Child Custody, Divorce, General Legal, Opinion

Don’t Put this on FaceBook…

10/10/2017 BowTieLawyer 1 Comment

FaceBook can be used for comparing yourself to others and investigating persons you just met. It can also be used to brag on yourself, your child’s latest, cutest thing and driving up “hits” on your blog. However, it is NOT to air your DIVORCE DRAMA!

“81 percent of divorce attorneys surveyed by the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers said they’d seen an increase in the number of cases using social networking evidence in the five years prior. The attorneys said Facebook was the number one source for finding online evidence, with 66 percent admitting they’d found evidence by combing the site.”

What are some of the things NOT to post on FaceBook?

Don’t put the sordid details of your case.
Don’t take cheap shots at the other’s parenting ability.
Don’t post inappropriate pictures of yourself or others.
Don’t call out the Judge or Court system on your page.
Don’t put out false information to garner sympathy.

Matthew Thompson is a Family Law Attorney in Mississippi and recommends you not post your business on FaceBook.

Child Custody, Divorce, General Legal

The WISDOM of Solomon; NOT splitting the baby.

09/19/2017 BowTieLawyer Leave a comment

“Splitting the Baby” is a phrase that is tossed around everyday. Its use refers to making decisions that leave both parties unhappy.

I have even heard a Judge say that if both parties leave unhappy then they must have gotten the result right. There may be some instances where this holds true, however there was no splitting of the baby in the Biblical account of Solomon’s decision. King Solomon’s decision was between two competing mothers embroiled in a custody dispute over a child, each claiming the child to be their own. 1 Kings 3:16 KJV

In the Biblical Custody Battle, King Solomon was faced with one infant and two mothers. Solomon did not know which woman was the child’s real mother, so he arranged a test to see if he could determine the true mother. In Solomon’s case, the real mother was willing to let the other woman have her child in order to spare the child’s life, while the other woman (whose own baby previously died) agreed with King Solomon that the baby should be cut in half, with each woman receiving a portion. The real mother in King Solomon’s court was willing to make the ultimate sacrifice of giving the child up, so that the child would survive. The Holy Bible, King James Version, 1 Kings 3:16.

Splitting the baby may be a solution if it’s not an actual baby. However, the true wisdom of Solomon was that he did NOT split the baby.

Matthew Thompson is a Child Custody attorney in Mississippi and has quoted the Bible as authority in legal arguments.

Child Custody, Divorce

Child Testimony and You

09/08/2017 BowTieLawyer 1 Comment

Whether to use child testimony is a difficult issue to resolve between parents and attorneys involved in child custody cases. Children know more than you think and also may have an opinion. However, child testimony is discouraged in most instances…

“We reiterate that parents in a divorce proceeding should if at all possible refrain from calling any of the children of their marriage, of tender years at least, as witnesses, and counsel should advise their clients against doing so except in the most exigent cases.”- Jethrow v. Jethrow

So, do the children testify or not? For Family Law cases the leading authority is Jethrow vs. Jethrow, 571 So.2d 270 (Miss. 1990). This case lays the groundwork that the Court should use when assessing child testimony. Different Courts and different Judges apply Jethrow in varying ways, but the basic premise is, as follows;

A child witnesses of tender years, 12 and under for testimony purposes, testifying is subject to the discretion of the Judge.
Before allowing such testimony the Judge “should satisfy himself that the child has the ability to perceive and remember events, to understand and answer questions intelligently, and to comprehend and accept the importance of truthfulness.”

Before excluding the testimony of a child witness of tender years in a divorce proceeding, the chancellor at a minimum should follow the procedure required by Crownover v. Crownover, 33 Ill.App.3rd 327, 337 N.E.2d 56 (1975):

The first hurdle is whether the child is competent to testify.
The Judge should confer in camera (meaning in the Judge’s chambers/office) with the child and determine whether or not the child’s testimony should be heard
The Judge has considerable discretion in conducting proceedings of this type, meaning it’s the judge’s decision.
The court should not, however, reject outright proposed testimony of a child in custody proceedings, where the omission of such crucial testimony might be harmful to the child’s best interests.
The trial court should take great pains to have an in camera conference with the child to determine the competency of the child,
as well as the competency of any evidence which the child might present.
The court should also then determine whether the best interests of the child would be served by permitting her to testify, or
Whether the child should be sheltered from testifying and being subjected to a vigorous cross-examination.
The Judge should report the essential material matters developed at the in camera conference on the record.
The Court should state the reasons for allowing or disallowing the testimony of the child, and
The Court should note the factual information which the court developed from the conference with the child which would be considered by the court in its ultimate determinations in the case.

A child testifying should be avoided if at all possible.

Appeal, Child Custody, Child Support, Divorce, General Legal, Modifications, Visitation

When Court Doesn’t Go your Way…

07/17/2017 BowTieLawyer Leave a comment

Sometimes Court doesn’t go your way.

Judges make mistakes, witnesses remember it wrong and you may ask for improper relief. But, all is not lost. You have options.

Motion for New Trial. This motion, sometimes referred to as a motion for reconsideration, can provide an avenue for the Judge to correct the mistake. They must be filed within 10 days of the Final Judgment and they are not for a do-over, but to correct a clear error of law or fact.

Appeal. You may appeal any Final Judgment. You have 30 days to do so from the final ruling and if you do a timely Motion for New Trial it resets the appeal clock. Appeals can be cumbersome and daunting. These are to the appellate court, not the Court that decided your case. However, an appeal is based on what happened below, the trial record. It’s not for new happenings.

Modification. Even though your judgment may be final, certain aspects are always modifiable. Custody, support, visitation and certain other payments may be changed by the Court if circumstances warrant it.

Matthew Thompson is a Divorce and Appeals lawyer in Mississippi.

Child Custody, Divorce, humor, Visitation

Things to do this Weekend.

07/08/2017 BowTieLawyer Leave a comment

Being a parent is a non-stop challenge of instruction, guidance and entertainment.

It is hard to constantly come up with things to do. Here are some no-cost and low-cost Weekend activities, not too far away.

Picnic.

There are a plethora of parks in the area and most have picnic tables, pavilions and restrooms. It is as easy as a homemade sandwich and chips to a quick stop at the local fast food joint.

These parks also have grills. With a little more effort you can be grilling burgers, dogs or blackened redfish with crispy capers.

Take a Hike.

In addition to the walking trails at most parks there are a few actual hiking trails in the area. The most prominent locally is the Yockanookany. The “Yock” is a 30+ mile trial that runs north and south, beginning just north of the Overlook on the Natchez Trace paralleling the Trace northward for 30 miles. There are multiple spots to get on and off. This trial is primitive, but well-marked.

Mule Jail Trail. Mule Jail is a mountain biking/hiking trail. It is just south and west of the Spillway. It is a well-defined trail that meanders through the woods that are on your right when traveling east over Spillway Road. It’s an easy hike, quick to get to, but feels like your away from it all. Also, Mule Jail has a great history involving an island being formed from a natural peninsula of the Pearl River during the Civil War to protect the farmer’s live stock. The island was known as “Mule Jail.”

Other great hiking info can be found at Hiking in Mississippi, a great resource!

Canoeing/Kayaking.

Mississippi has some amazing rivers, streams and lakes. The Rez has numerous places to launch canoe and kayaks. There are lots of nooks and crannies to explore. There are a few local places that will rent canoes or kayaks, or you may purchase one at the big box retailers.

If you don’t go the rental route, this will be more expensive and more of a hassle. You will need to transport your craft and have the required paddles and life jackets.

Learn Something.

The metro area has numerous museums and attractions. The Mississippi Sports Hall of Fame, Natural Science Museum, Children’s Museum, Agriculture Museum, and Jackson Zoo are all nearby. These are relatively low-cost activities that can consume a half day or more of fun and learning. These are just a few in the area and there are plenty more throughout the state.

Just for Fun.

There are seemingly endless opportunities to just have fun, neat places to explore. A drive through downtown Jackson to see the sights is always a treat. Really. The Capitol, the Old Capitol, the Mississippi Supreme Court building, Governor’s Mansion, all of the “skyscrapers” in Jackson, and just traveling Capitol Street is a treat. Other localities have quaint “downtowns” with shops and farmer’s markets. Canton’s square is famed.

Eating Opportunities.

There are more places to eat in the area than you realize. Local, unique and one-of-a-kind places. There are numerous home-cooking diners, amazing soul food and authentic “foreign” cuisine. Where else can you find a catfish igloo, an old gas station turned-restaurant, an old school turned entertainment destination, and more Mexican places than you can shake a sombrero at?

There are lots of opportunities to have fun, stay on a budget, and make memories that last a lifetime.

Matthew Thompson is a Family and Child Custody Attorney encouraging you to be the best parent you can be.

Child Custody, Divorce, General Legal, Visitation

She’s Your Ex, not mine.

06/21/2017 BowTieLawyer 1 Comment

“The poison ivy of people are ex spouses.” -Matthew Thompson

Exes can irritate, inflame, and annoy regardless of the season. Exes can make life difficult and uncomfortable. Exes can also cause a reaction that is not good.

I was meeting with a divorcee and their new spouse. We were discussing some issues about the ex and the best way to address it. The new spouse made the comment “She’s your ex, not mine.” This was a profound comment. It was not shirking responsibility or even placing blame. It was a statement that you, as the former spouse, need to address issues head-on and in an adult like manner.

Novel thought. Act like an adult. All too often, I see ex spouses acting like everything but adults. Petty arguments, meaningless games of one-upping the other and a general lack of care for the ex spouse can serve to harm the child. These are bad. Don’t do these things.

Act like an adult.

Matthew Thompson is a Child Custody attorney and encourages ex spouses to act like adults.