Category Archives: Divorce

Bad Advice = Bad Lawyer?

03/20/2013 BowTieLawyer 6 Comments

As a practicing attorney you are always learning from each case, each client, each Court appearance, and dealings with opposing counsel. Through all of this, there are memorable lessons learned and some you wish you had not.

Some memorable milestones are your first Court appearance, your first argument before the Court and the first satisfied client. I recently experienced a “milestone” that I wanted to share.

I was involved in a case where I “knew” who the other attorney was before he was “hired.” I knew based solely on the conduct of his client; destroying property, taking things that did not belong to him, damaging other property, having a poor attitude and ignoring attempts to communicate amicably and to resolve the outstanding issues without things escalating. I have this theory that clients tend to seek out and hire attorneys that are similar to themselves. Now, obviously this is not always true and too broad a generalization to make, but fitting for this instance. In any event, this other party decided to do some bad things.

As soon as I heard of the destruction, I said “I know who his attorney is.” It was not a good feeling. I was not proud of myself. I was disappointed that due to this conduct that I “knew” who he hired. This conduct and this advice is exactly why people hate attorneys and think we are lower than low.

So what did I do about it? Well, I tried to do the best I could. Set it for hearing and let the Judge have a say. The client may or may not have broken the law, but that didn’t make it right.

This milestone, unfortunately memorable, of knowing who the other attorney is by offensive conduct of his client actually reminded me that I do not ever want another attorney to “know” that I am involved in a case based upon offensive conduct of my client. Want to share to some war stories? Leave a comment or send an email, maybe I’ll blog about it.

Matthew Thompson is a Family Law attorney and strives to do what is right and is now getting off of his soapbox.

Divorce, General Legal, Marriage, Opinion

Churchill Wisdom; On Advice

03/14/2013 BowTieLawyer 2 Comments

-Winston Churchill

Following your attorney’s advice can be one of the more difficult aspects of divorce work, but you must. I have previously blogged on How to Hire an attorney, Keeping Quiet when necessary, Annoying Client Traits, and Coping with the Stress of a family law matter. One important and common theme to all of these is to listen and take the advice you are given. It is no guaranty of a perfect case, but it increases the potential for a satisfactory result. (So long as the person giving the advice knows what they are talking about.)

Matthew Thompson is a Family Law attorney and is good at telling people what to do.

Child Custody, Divorce, General Legal, Visitation

Want a Happy Birthday?! Don’t Forget this “Holiday.”

03/12/2013 BowTieLawyer 1 Comment

Happy Birthday! is something we all look forward to sharing with our children. But, is this day saved in your Divorce Agreement?

Bday 2 — Happy Birthday/ BowTiePublishing

I have previously blogged on the “forgotten holidays” (Halloween, labor day) and visitation schedules. Birthdays are also often overlooked at times of divorce. A Court’s standard visitation does not include, specifically, children’s birthdays so it is up to you, as an attorney or client, to remember the dates that matter.

In most of my Agreements the child’s birthday is specifically considered. The following is an example.

Some alternative language is as follows;

None of the above language is perfect for every circumstance and the fact that it must be included could be an indicator that mom and dad are not working together in the child’s best interest. Also, parties can disagree on how to “cooperate” and what is “reasonable.” However, if you are dealing with a battle-axe it’s much better to have specific language and not need, than to need it and no have it.

Matthew Thompson is a Family Law attorney and wishes Claire a happy, happy, happy birthday!

Divorce, General Legal, Marriage

Annulling your Marriage

03/08/2013 BowTieLawyer 2 Comments

Annulment is the process of revoking your marriage. It is a legal mechanism that dissolves the marriage by legally undoing it, as if you were never married. Annulment differs from divorce.

Annulment results in you being able to claim, truthfully, that you were never legally married. It erases the marriage.

Annulments are rare and only granted on a limited basis. Mississippi law provides for annulment via MCA 93-7-1, et seq. The statute allows for annulment in all instances of incest or bigamy with no time limitations for seeking the annulment. In fact, in these circumstances the marriage would be void. Also, incest and bigamy are grounds for divorce, so you could take your pick between seeking an annulment or divorce.

Annulment is allowed if one of the following was in existence at the time of the marriage ceremony;

incest (raised at any time)
bigamy (raised at any time)
incurable impotency
mental illness or incompetency (must be sought within 6 months of marriage)
failure to comply with licensure requirements AND no cohabitation
lack of understanding or want of age (not old enough to consent), or due to fraud or force (again w/i 6 months of marriage)
pregnancy of wife by another and husband did not know (w/i 6 months of marriage)

These are the grounds for annulment and if you don’t fall into one of these categories annulment is not an option. I have had numerous calls of persons married for weeks, or months who want to seek an annulment because they made a mistake. Mistake is not a ground for annulment.

**It should be noted that a legal annulment differs from a religious annulment. You can have one without the other and they have no bearing on one another. So is an annulment right for you? You better act quickly and know that in most instances it is not.

Matthew Thompson is a Family Law attorney and can help you erase your marriage mistake.

Divorce, General Legal, Opinion

Ain’t Nobody Got Time for That (Unhappy Clients)

03/04/2013 BowTieLawyer 2 Comments

What’s the fastest way to have an unhappy client? Charge too much? Not return calls? No, the fastest way to have an unhappy client is to represent them for FREE.

What? We all love stuff that is FREE! This is true in a lot of instances, but in professional services it is decidedly not. Legal representation is different from giving someone a free box of donuts. Most of the time the legal services needed are important and have risk associated. Typically the person seeking assistance has contributed to the predicament that they are in. You, as the attorney, think you are doing them a favor, but are you?

Certainly there are circumstances of appreciated and gratifying Pro Bono work. In Mississippi attorneys are required to work at least 20 hours per year on Pro Bono matters, but the client does not get to decide.

It seems that clients getting something for nothing are more demanding, are more suspicious and are more prone to complain. This is because the typical arms length transaction, which provides for the exchange of compensation for services, when not used creates an imbalance.

The FREE client is more suspicious because they wonder how good a job the attorney is doing.
The FREE client is more demanding because they have to get all that they can for free because they know it will end soon.
The FREE client complains more because they do not have to refuse to pay and wonder what that attorney is going to do about it.
This is not intended to disparage Pro Bono clients and their cases, but rather to warn attorneys and other professionals to be careful when taking on FREE representation.

Beware of FREE representation and to the clients seeking a free attorney, sometimes…you get what you pay for.

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Bow Tie, Divorce, General Legal, Marriage, Opinion

Churchill Wisdom; On Divorce

02/28/2013 BowTieLawyer 1 Comment

Lady Nancy Astor:

Winston, if you were my husband, I’d poison your tea.

Churchill: Nancy, if I were your husband, I’d drink it.

Portrait of Winston Churchill by Yousuf Karsh

Matthew Thompson is a family law attorney and suggests you seek the advice of an attorney before you brew or drink any “tea.”

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Child Custody, Child Support, Divorce, General Legal, Irreconcilable differences, Marriage

Mediating Family Law; Resolving Your Case on Your Terms or Not.

02/25/2013 BowTieLawyer 1 Comment

I will be mediating a family law case, or rather agreeing to mediate a divorce, custody and property division case in the near future. Mediation is a process whereby the parties agree to meet and attempt to resolve all issues prior to going to trial or without having to go to trial.

In a mediation the parties agree to hiring a third-party, typically another attorney or retired judge, to “hear” their case. Now the mediator is NOT the main authority. In fact, the mediator cannot compel either of the parties to do or agree to anything. The mediator’s role is to point out the strengths and weaknesses of each sides case and to try to find common ground. Sometimes the mediation is based on reason and logic and sometimes it is based on emotion or just some number someone is trying to reach. Almost anything can be mediated, though a rule of thumb is to not mediate when not prepared factually, legally (research wise), or with an abuser.

Pros:

The parties have the ultimate say in the final outcome.
Mediator gets to hear “everything,” so a party may have their “say.”
It is appeal proof. (unless fraud involved)
It can save fees and expenses.
It can reveal strengths and weaknesses in a case.
It works. (approx 90% of the time)

Cons:

If there is no agreement there is no settlement.
Mediator’s opinion is non-binding.
It can add a layer of expense.
It can be frustrating.
It may not work.

Mediation is not a silver bullet to end litigation. It is just another implement in the tool box of resolving and litigating cases.

Is mediation right for you? Almost any matter can be mediated. Speak to your attorney for more information.

Matthew Thompson is a family law attorney and believes in the mediation process, though it may not be right in every situation.

Child Custody, Divorce, Marriage

Cheetah, Cheetah! (The Cheater Gets Nothing? Not Necessarily.)

02/22/2013 BowTieLawyer Leave a comment

Your dirty, no-good, lying, sorry sack of spouse is a CHEATER. Obviously when the Court hears about this that so-and-so will be excoriated and will never show their face again in town. They certainly won’t get anything, right?

In Mississippi, an Affair is a fault ground for divorce. If your spouse is guilty of an affair it will get you a divorce, but don’t count on that fact alone meaning you get everything and they get nothing. It does not mean that he will have to pay you or that the CHEATER cannot get alimony or even custody.

Back in the olden days, some may say the “Good ‘Ol Days”, a lady was barred from receiving alimony if she were guilty of adultery. This is no more, though contributions to the stability and harmony of the marriage are considered and an affair can play a part in what is ultimately received.

Additionally, a spouse having an affair is not barred from being awarded custody. In the olden days a mom that had an affair could be putting her children at risk. Today, a parent’s adultery or morality pursuant to the Albright Custody Factors is considered, but an affair with no adverse impact to the child – will not automatically mean the CHEATER will not get custody.

So, cheat with impunity? No. Just know that cheating ain’t what it used to be, unless it is.

Matthew Thompson is a family law attorney and Cheetahs do NOT change their spots.

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