All posts by BowTieLawyer

Matthew operates the Thompson Law Firm, pllc, a Mississippi based Family Law firm emphasizing; Divorce, Child Custody, Child Support, Modification, Contempt and Appeals, handling family law cases throughout Mississippi. (601) 850-8000 Matthew@bowtielawyer.ms www.BowTieLawyer.ms

Child Custody, Child Support, Crime, divorce, Modifications, Opinion

Drugs, Sex & Rock-n-Roll…No, Just DRUGS.

10/09/2013 BowTieLawyer Leave a comment

Drugs, it seems, are back on the scene in a big way. Habitual Drug use is a ground for divorce. Drug use can be a bar to custody. Drug abuse is a Crime and can lead to other troubles.

It’s more and more common for parties in family law cases to be drug tested. Urine, hair follicles, blood and even finger nails can be tested for drug use. Depending on the test, results can show drugs or alcohol in your system from 2 days ago up to 90 days ago. And testing “Hot” is not a good thing.

In your Family Law case the Court will put a lot of weight in a Failed Drug test when determining custody, visitation and credibility. While a Failed Drug test does not guaranty you will lose custody, it certainly does not help. It also can matter what type of drugs, how recent and quantities that the test results show.

Use, whether it is “recreational,” “just once” or “I never inhaled” can and will be used against you. Drug use can also be an element of child neglect/abuse.

Now, all is not lost if you have used drugs or are using drugs, IF you STOP! Court’s like to see people “get their act together” “turn their life around” and “be productive members of society.” You can see your kids and you may even get or regain custody if you are doing all the right things.

Matthew Thompson is an Adjunct Professor teaching Domestic Relations and a Divorce Attorney. In the words of Nancy Reagan, “JUST SAY NO!”

Child Custody, Crime, divorce, General Legal, Marriage, Opinion

Don’t Date During your Divorce

10/07/2013 BowTieLawyer 3 Comments

It is commonly asked by clients, “Can I date others?” The short answer is NO. In Mississippi divorce there is no such thing as “legal separation.” You are married until you are divorced. That means either party could get “fault grounds” against the other at any time prior to the divorce being granted. In general however, it is just a bad idea.

Dating during your Divorce is a bad idea due to the following;

Dating involves feelings and emotions which can be misfiring at that point.
It involves money and expenses and Court’s look disfavorably of spending on boyfriends and girlfriends.
It could wreak havoc on a Custody case if that “new” person is either the wrong fit for your kids or a great fit, but it does not work out.
“Rebounds” tend to take a bad bounce.
It’s an easy target for your soon to be Ex and his attorney.
You may not really know the person you’re dating.

If you have to ask your attorney if it’s okay, it probably isn’t. Now, having said that, you are still allowed to have a “life.” You can go out in groups and otherwise socialize. Just be aware of your surroundings and actions because you never know who’s watching, waiting for you to mess up.

Matthew Thompson, a Divorce Attorney and Family Law Adj. Professor at MC Law, reminds you to do your best to prevent “forest fires!”!

Child Support, Crime, Modifications, Opinion

Child Support, DHS and Why You Should Care; Pay Attention or You May Pay More!

10/04/2013 BowTieLawyer Leave a comment

Child Support is the court ordered obligation the non-custodial parent pays the custodial parent for the necessary child related expenses. Usually Dad pays it directly to Mom in a divorce situation and in paternity cases it’s more often through DHS, the Department of Human Services-Child Support Enforcement Unit. (dah-duhn) (the Law and Order “sound” being referenced just now.)

It is standard that if dad is delinquent on payments or mom seeks state benefits, opening a case with DHS will cause the monies to be redirected through DHS, and possibly a Withholding Order be issued against the payor. The law provides that DHS can do this summarily upon application with minimal notice requirements and does not require a modification of your Court Order by the Court which originally ordered it.

This is kind of a big deal. In plain English, this means that if mom says your late, DHS swings into action. They send you a letter stating you are behind, threaten to suspend your license, send a Withholding Order to your work and assume guilt automatically. This creates lots of hassle and headache when it’s not true. Additionally, when it’s not true, it takes filing an action in Court to fix it, securing an Order. There are usually no consequences for mom and she can do it again if she wants.

Well, DHS is stepping up their enforcement another notch. Mom can go in and just say, “I want him to pay through DHS.” She does not have to allege any delinquency, she does not have to apply for other state benefits. She pays $25, opens a case and dad is notified that from that point he is to pay directly to and through DHS. If dad does not pay directly, DHS will pursue contempt and arrearage against him. And DHS considers the letter, which dad may or may not have even received, as sufficient and reasonable notice to dad and treats dad’s continued payments to mom as “gifts.” All of this without formal Court involvement and in my view far short of “due process,” but nonetheless valid as of now. MCA 43-19-35, et seq.

So if you are paying child support directly and get something from DHS, DO NOT IGNORE IT. It could have serious implications on who and what you pay. Notify your attorney immediately. If you are receiving child support and are having issues with the payor, consider having it redirected through DHS. It is a much less expensive alternative to a private attorney when that deadbeat ain’t paying.

Whether you like the DHS process or not it is being enforced force and taking effect.

Matthew Thompson, a Child Support Lawyer and Family Law Adj. Professor at MC Law, encourages you to know your rights and obligations when it comes to Child Support. Pay your Support and Pay it Often!

divorce, General Legal, Marriage, Opinion

Mississippi in the News- A Test Case on Same-Sex Divorce

10/02/2013 BowTieLawyer 4 Comments

Mississippi is the site of the latest same-sex challenge to laws preventing same-sex persons from getting married and seeking a divorce.

same-sex-divorce-cake-story-top — http://www.CNN.com

A Mississippi resident, who married her spouse in California, is now seeking that a Mississippi Court divorce them. The couple lived in Mississippi for some time after their marriage and ultimately separated in the Magnolia State. The case is pending in DeSoto County Chancery court and has garnered world-wide attention.

However, it may not be a walk in the park…

MS law specifically provides that a same-sex marriage is VOID. Void means it does not exist, not that it could if everything was just right. Void=nothing. The law goes on to specifically deny that MS has to recognize another state’s same-sex marriage.

Now before you bash MS too much for this, it is quite common that states have different laws regarding requirements for persons to get married in their respective states. Different laws can be allowed. For instance you can marry your niece-in-law in California, but not in Utah. And Utah does not have to recognize the CA marriage. Nothing to do with same gender on that restriction. Also, most states prohibit same-sex marriage, only 14 states allow same-sex marriage, at this time.

There are several issues that are apparent in this MS pending matter.

Issue #1. MS law, which at this time is valid and constitutional by the way, disallows their “marriage” to be recognized as a marriage. And, if no marriage, then there can be no divorce.

Issue #2. The Mississippian sued her spouse on Habitual Cruel and Inhuman Treatment. The parties had been separated for over 3 years by the time of filing which may be an indicator of limited grounds regarding cruelty, which is one of the most difficult grounds to prove. So there may not be a divorce on cruelty anyway, as the plaintiff could not meet her burden of proof.

Issue #3. The Mississippian sued her spouse for Adultery. Adultery, in Mississippi, is defined as “sexual intercourse with a person of the opposite sex, not your spouse.” Despite this being the Bible Belt, it is possible that Mrs. Defendant is in another relationship with another person, of her same sex, and is still not committing “adultery.” Technically speaking, of course.

Issue #4. The Constitution’s Full Faith & Credit clause. FF&C requires that a valid Order from one State be recognized in another. The catch is a Marriage is not an Order, but rather a contractual arrangement between the two spouses and the state that they are being married in. This means a marriage is not entitled to Full Faith and Credit. Interestingly, a divorce would be, assuming the Jurisdictional/residency requirements were met.

So, some legal mumbo-jumbo and a refrain from a little common sense results in…nothing. That is exactly what this litigant will get from Mississippi and will likely get it in abundance. Stay tuned for more developments.

Matthew Thompson is a family law attorney and domestic relations adj. professor at MC Law; Keeping you abreast of the ever-changing world of family law in which we live in.

Child Custody, General Legal, Marriage

Name, Name, Name…Messiah to Martin to Messiah.

09/30/2013 BowTieLawyer 2 Comments

We’ve seen in the news a dust-up about a TN Judge that refused to allow parents to name their child “Messiah,” in fact changing the child’s name.

Mom and dad were in a disagreement over what to name the child, but ultimately agreed on the first name of Messiah and disagreed over the child’s surname (last name). The Judge crossed the line, however, when she changed the child’s first name over the parent’s agreement to Messiah and objection to any change of the first name. The Judge cited that the name was not in the child’s best interest and stated there is only one Messiah. The Judge also noted the name could be offensive to the religious community.

However, parents have a constitutional right to raise their children as they see fit, a constitutional right to privacy and a presumption that they are acting in the child’s best interests. That is not to say all parents do, but the State’s interest is primarily limited to the child’s last name. TN could determine the last name, which could either be the same as the mother’s or the father’s, but crossed the line when changing the first name.

The parents appealed the ruling and the matter was quickly reversed. Messiah, changed to Martin, is Messiah again. A correct legal outcome, regardless of how you feel about the name. In Mississippi, a child shall have the surname of the father, if known, regardless of the marital status of the parents. There is a provision, in the judge’s discretion, to deviate from the the surname of the father requirement, however there must be a compelling reason.

Matthew Thompson is a domestic relations counselor in the Magnolia State and encourages you to know your rights as a parent.

Child Custody, divorce, General Legal, Marriage

Marital Privilege – From the Bedroom to the Courtroom.

09/27/2013 BowTieLawyer 1 Comment

We hear a lot about attorney-client privilege, doctor-patient privilege and even priest-penitent privilege, but there exists a marital spousal privilege, though application can be limited and tricky.

A spouse to spouse communication is confidential if it is made privately by any person to that person’s spouse and is not intended for disclosure to any other person. In any proceeding, civil or criminal, a spouse has a privilege to prevent that person’s spouse, or even a former spouse, from testifying as to any confidential communication between that person and that person’s spouse. The privilege may be claimed by either spouse in that spouse’s own right or on behalf of the other.

This means that a husband can prevent a wife from testifying about something he told her in confidence. It also means that an ex-husband can even prevent an ex-wife from testifying about something he told her in confidence, during the marriage.

So, you ask,“How can I testify about what my spouse said in my divorce case?”

Exceptions. There is no privilege under this rule in civil actions between the spouses (including divorce) or in a proceeding in which one spouse is charged with a crime against; (1) a minor child, or (2) the person or property of (i) the other spouse, (ii) a person residing in the household of either spouse, or (iii) a third person committed in the course of committing a crime against any of the persons described in (d)(1), or (2) of this rule. MRE 504.

Matthew Thompson is a family law attorney and warns you not to count on spousal privilege in a divorce action. So be careful about the content of those sweet nothings that you are whispering.

Child Custody, Child Support, divorce, Grandparent Visitation, Modifications, Opinion

Going to Court is HARD.

09/25/2013 BowTieLawyer 1 Comment

I have blogged recently about Why Settling Your Case is Best, avoiding Court, and Why Going to Court is “Best.” The gist of the former being settlement is preferred for having a say in the final outcome and having predictability and the latter, going to Court is best when there is no room for compromise.

Unfortunately, I have been involved in the latter, a case where there was no room for compromise. From my perspective one party was primarily the aggressor and was encouraged by the attorney to take unreasonable positions and force the matter to Court. Of course, they did not view their own positions as meritless. Also, I’m sure they thought my client and I were wretches…

Regardless, hard feelings abounded. This case had some history. What should have been a run of the mill divorce and custody matter was extremely contentious and was litigated over an issue that was not an issue. In Round One, after most of a day of trial, the Court stopped the matter and told the other side they were going to lose on their issue and the case did settle.

But, like the A-Team, they had a plan! Just a few months after it was final they decided another bite at the apple was proper. Based primarily on speculation…which was eventually admitted at Court, the other side sought to change the deal they had agreed to just months prior. Round Two in Court was based on rank speculation. After hours of testimony, haughty lecturing, and what can only be described as highly stylized testimony by the aggressive party and deeply emotional testimony by the other, the Court dismissed the case.

So, what is the take away? Sour grapes? I don’t think so, at least not on my part. It made me realize, yet again, Court is HARD. It is not fun. It is emotional. And, even when you win, nobody wins. Here’s what else can be guaranteed, when you successfully defend against baseless claims from the other side who thinks they are completely in the right when they are not, you better get ready for posturing and Round 3!

Matthew Thompson is a family law attorney and knows that sometimes even when you win you don’t win.

General Legal, Pets

The Day the Raccoon Went Berserk

09/24/2013 BowTieLawyer Leave a comment

Raccoon-disrupts-Adams-County-Circuit-courtroom

The day the Raccoon went berserk in Adams Circuit Court, they were jumping pews and shouting Hallelujah!
– apologies to Ray Stevens #bowtielawyerms

Matthew Thompson is a family law attorney and warns you to watch out for Raccoons in Court.