It’s Halloween. A day of costumes, candy and having fun. Often, Halloween is not addressed in the divorced parent’s papers. It is after all, not a “real” holiday. However, I usually include Halloween in custody schedules.
While not a real holiday, it is nonetheless an important day in your child’s life. From picking out the costume to sneaking a Reese’s, memories are certainly made and then cherished.
Legal custody pertains to the decision making right regarding your child’s health, education and general welfare.
Legal custody, most commonly awarded as “Joint Legal Custody,” requires that each parent keep the other informed of the child’s goings on. This includes not only health, education, and general welfare, but also school and activity schedules, medical appointments and any major matter regarding the child’s life
It requires that parents communicate and cooperate when it comes to making decision about the well-being of the child. It certainly includes informing the other parent if a move is anticipated.
Legal custody includes sharing the status of the child’s well-being and location in emergency situations. Chancery Courts require specific language that states;
“IT IS FURTHER ORDERED that in the event of a threat, disaster, or other emergency, such as a hurricane, which causes an emergency evacuation, any party who has custody of a minor child (either physical custody or visitation) shall notify the other parent of the location and well-being of the minor as soon as reasonably possible.“
While this should be common sense, divorced parties are not always known for exercising common sense. Hurricanes and Legal Custody require that you keep the other parent informed on the well-being of the child.
Matthew Thompson is a Child Custody attorney in Mississippi and routinely exercises common sense and encourages you to do so as well.
You are in the fight of your life against the one person who promised before God and everybody to always love and cherish you. Where’s the love now?
But dragging others into the fight may be the wrong move. I routinely see parents wanting to bring the kids in to testify, while stating that they do not want to bring the kids in to testify. Kind of a sorry-not sorry attitude.
Child testimony is permissible. There are some Gate-keeping obligations of the Court to apply prior to actual testimony being allowed. There are also various methods used by various Judges on taking child testimony. However, more basic than the trustworthiness of the testimomy and whether it should be in chambers or in open Court, is whether the child should be in that position at all.
The Mississippi Supreme Court stated, “We reiterate that parents in a divorce proceeding should if at all possible refrain from calling any of the children of their marriage…as witnesses, and counsel should advise their clients against doing so except in the most exigent cases.” Jethrow v. Jethrow, 571 So. 2d 270, 274 (Miss. 1990).
If there are not exigent circumstances, i.e.; abuse, criminal activity involving the child, physically dangerous activity and there is no other means to corroborate these facts, testimony may be required, but if it’s run of the mill dad did this or didn’t do that, or dad let the girlfriend give her a makeover, or mom’s boyfriend took them to Chik-fil-a, and these persons are not dangerous persons nor prohibited from being around per a Court Order, child testimony should be avoided.
Think about it from the child’s perspective, not your own. Your job is to do what is best for them, every time.
Matthew Thompson is a Child Custody attorney and cautions you on relying on child testimony when it’s not necessary.
There is a lawyer cliché to never ask a question that you do not know the answer to.
Asking that question may get you a self-serving answer that you did not anticipate.It may open Pandora’s box of bad evidence and a tidal wave of otherwise inadmissible evidence. All because you asked a question you should not have asked.
In a custody case, the opposing counsel called the child to testify. This was a dispute between mom and dad and the other attorney wanted the child to testify about what she wanted, specifically where and with whom she wanted to live. However, opposing counsel did NOT know what the child was going to say, but instead assumed it would be favorable to his client. After the routine introductory questions, the child was specifically asked,”If you had a magic wand and you could wave it and live wherever you wanted, where would that be?” After a few seconds of silence the child responded, “ A castle!” Fatal to the case? No. But not the answer the lawyer was looking for and it further helped prove positions that we had taken throughout the case regarding the child’s emotional maturity, an issue we believed worked in our favor.
Of course, sometimes it’s a critical issue and you have to ask the question. Tread carefully.
Another question not ask; When are you due?
Matthew Thompon is a Child Custody attoreny in Mississippi and tries not to ask questions that he does not know the answer to.
Unless your rights have been terminated by a Judicial proceeding, either via Termination and/or Adoption, you have rights.
MCA § 93-5-26 (click) provides that you, as a parent, have rights of access to records and information pertaining to your minor child(ren), including but not limited to medical, dental and school records and these shall NOT be denied to a parent because you are not the custodial parent.
Schools, doctors and dentists offices should take note of the above. Also, as a parent, you should be informed and have a copy of this statute with you when seeking this information if the other parent is not forthcoming.
I’m not talking about playing with your children. Too often I see adults playing games with the other parent’s time. It’s not a game. It’s not really even the other parent’s time. It’s the children’s.
It is also painful when the lawyer is playing games too. Advocating for your client is not making it as costly and long as possible. It’s not arguing over everything. It’s not agreeing to one thing and then doing another.
If this post sounds like you, it’s not too late to change. Be a decent parent. Be a decent lawyer. Be a decent human being. And if you are still going to play games, join a soccer team.
Matthew Thompson is a Family Lawyer and is mildly irritated by people sometimes.
You’ve heard of the Lincoln Lawyer, but what about the Lemon Lawyer…
Signs of the Lemon Lawyer:
When you Call the Office and you Never get a Live Person. Voicemail has a purpose, but every time? Leave a message after the beep.
Bait and Switch. That’ll be $19.95. Once hired, that was just the retainer. it will be $19,995.00.
It’s Their First Case Doing that Type of Law. We all had to start somewhere, but sometimes the rookie is dangerous.
Alternative Fee Arrangements. Sure. We all like the Barter system, but taking your case for a bushel of beans and your grandpaw’s shotgun… you may get a bushel of something. Also, if there is a “couch fee” option, RUN!
Multiple Office Moves. Moving on up is one thing. Constantly moving, multiple firm changes and temporary office space at the Kangaroo Mart are red flags.
When you tell other people who represents you they say, “Ohhhh…“
Matthew Thompson is a Divorce Litigation Attorney in Mississippi and warns you to avoid the lemon.
Hearsay is any out of Court statement that is used to prove the truth of the matter asserted.
Hearsay is basically ANYTHING that is said outside of the Courtroom by ANYBODY. It also includes writings, documents and many other things.
Most commonly hearsay occurs during witness testimony. Mom is testifying about how scared Beverly was when dad left her with the new and strange babysitter. However, mom did not see nor meet the babysitter. She didn’t even know she existed. Mom was trying to say that Beverly said the babysitter said “….”
Attorney: OBJECTION, HEARSAY.
Judge: SUSTAINED. DON”T TELL ME WHAT THE CHILD SAID OR WHAT THE BABYSITTER SAID.
The babysitter has to come testify or mom has to describe Beverly after dad’s weekend.
Mom: She came home distressed and sullen. Her eyes were red, as if she’d been crying.
Beverly told her what happened, so she called dad. Now mom can say what dad said because he and she are the parties to the case, an exception to the hearsay rule.
Your attorney should practice your testimony and how to deal with hearsay. You may always describe what you personally observed, what you did and what you said, and this is the way to possibly get around hearsay and/or having other witnesses involved testify.
Matthew Thompson is a family law attorney and encourages you to practice your testimony and telling your story without saying what somebody told you.
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