Category Archives: Child Custody

Marital Privilege – From the Bedroom to the Courtroom.

We hear a lot about attorney-client privilege, doctor-patient privilege and even priest-penitent privilege, but there exists a marital spousal privilege, though application can be limited and tricky.

A spouse to spouse communication is confidential if it is made privately by any person to that person’s spouse and is not intended for disclosure to any other person.  In any proceeding, civil or criminal, a spouse has a privilege to prevent that person’s spouse, or even a former spouse, from testifying as to any confidential communication between that person and that person’s spouse.  The privilege may be claimed by either spouse in that spouse’s own right or on behalf of the other.

This means that a husband can prevent a wife from testifying about something he told her in confidence.  It also means that an ex-husband can even prevent an ex-wife from testifying about something he told her in confidence, during the marriage.

So, you ask,“How can I testify about what my spouse said in my divorce case?”

Exceptions. There is no privilege under this rule in civil actions between the spouses (including divorce) or in a proceeding in which one spouse is charged with a crime against; (1) a minor child, or (2) the person or property of (i) the other spouse, (ii) a person residing in the household of either spouse, or (iii) a third person committed in the course of committing a crime against any of the persons described in (d)(1), or (2) of this rule. MRE 504.

Matthew Thompson is a family law attorney and warns you not to count on spousal privilege in a divorce action.  So be careful about the content of those sweet nothings that you are whispering.

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Going to Court is HARD.

I have blogged recently about Why Settling Your Case is Best, avoiding Court, and Why Going to Court is “Best.”  The gist of the former being settlement is preferred for having a say in the final outcome and having predictability and the latter, going to Court is best when there is no room for compromise.

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Unfortunately, I have been involved in the latter, a case where there was no room for compromise.  From my perspective one party was primarily the aggressor and was encouraged by the attorney to take unreasonable positions and force the matter to Court.  Of course, they did not view their own positions as meritless.  Also, I’m sure they thought my client and I were wretches…

Regardless, hard feelings abounded.  This case had some history.  What should have been a run of the mill divorce and custody matter was extremely contentious and was litigated over an issue that was not an issue.  In Round One, after most of a day of trial, the Court stopped the matter and told the other side they were going to lose on their issue and the case did settle.

But, like the A-Team, they had a plan!  Just a few months after it was final they decided another bite at the apple was proper. Based primarily on speculation…which was eventually admitted at Court, the other side sought to change the deal they had agreed to just months prior.  Round Two in Court was based on rank speculation.  After hours of testimony, haughty lecturing, and what can only be described as highly stylized testimony by the aggressive party and deeply emotional testimony by the other, the Court dismissed the case.

So, what is the take away?  Sour grapes?  I don’t think so, at least not  on my part.  It made me realize, yet again, Court is HARD.  It is not fun.  It is emotional.  And, even when you win, nobody wins.  Here’s what else can be guaranteed, when you successfully defend against baseless claims from the other side who thinks they are completely in the right when they are not, you better get ready for posturing and Round 3!

Matthew Thompson is a family law attorney and knows that sometimes even when you win you don’t win.

Follow the blog: BowTieLawyer Visit the websiteThompson Law FirmYou may also contact Matthew with your family law case, question or concern at (601) 850-8000 or Matthew@bowtielawyer.ms

Why Going to Court is “BEST.”

This post is advice rarely given or taken.  I have previously blogged on Why Settling Your Case is BEST!.  Settlement is usually BEST, but sometimes Court is inevitable…

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Why going to Court is Best, or the BEST alternative;

  • It allows you to tell your side of the story.
  • Somethings you CANNOT compromise on.
  • The Judge may be in the best position to hold someone accountable, who needs to be!

Commonly, settlement is your best option. It gives you say in the final outcome, whereas letting a Judge decide your case can remove what say you may have.  Sometimes what you want and what a Judge can award are not congruent.  However, sometimes what the other side wants, a judge would not give them.  Going to Court can be therapeutic. Going to Court can also show that you are serious and won’t back down from a fight.  Going to Court can also backfire, cost more money and end in a result that is more difficult to live with.

Matthew Thompson is a family law attorney and goes to Court often, but usually when settlement has failed or stalled.

You may contact Matthew with your family law case, question or concern at (601) 850-8000 or Matthew@bowtielawyer.ms

Emancipation Proclamation (Having minority status removed from a Child)

Emancipation is the process of having a child, a person under 21 in Mississippi, “declared” an adult, removing their status as a minor.

Emancipation shall occur upon the child;

  • Attaining the age of 21 (unless agreed to extend, but not shorten)
  • Marrying
  • Joining the military and serving on a full-time basis
  • Is convicted of a felony and is sentenced to incarceration of two (2) or more years for committing such felony

Other forms of Emancipation include Court-Ordered Emancipation when your child;

  • Discontinues full-time enrollment in school having attained the age of eighteen (18) years, unless the child is disabled
  • Voluntarily moves from the home of the custodial parent or guardian, and establishes independent living arrangements, obtains full-time employment and discontinues educational endeavors prior to attaining the age of twenty-one (21)
  • Cohabits with another person without the approval of the parent obligated to pay support; “cohabits” generally means living together as if husband and wife.

Having a child emancipated ends child support obligations and ends the parents responsibilities for that child.  That child is now an adult, as far as the parent’s obligations go.

Emancipation may be sought for a variety of reasons.  The parent and child could have a bad relationship, the child may need to enter into a contract or may desire to make a medical decision contrary to the parent’s wishes.  Emancipation may be brought on by either parent and/or the child, through a next friend.

Matthew Thompson is a family law attorney in Mississippi and reminds you a minor is a minor in Mississippi until 21, not 18.

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You may also contact Matthew with your family law case, question or concern at (601) 850-8000 or Matthew@bowtielawyer.ms.

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Don’t Bring Your Child to the Meeting With the Divorce Attorney (Video)

A prior blog brought to life!

Bring your complaints, questions and a financial statement. Don’t bring your child.

Follow the blog: BowTieLawyer Visit the website: Thompson Law Firm

You may also contact Matthew with your family law case, question or concern at (601) 850-8000 or Matthew@bowtielawyer.ms.

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The DIRT!** (24 Dirty Deeds in Family Law)

One of the unique things about my profession is that I routinely get paid to discuss the embarrassing, wild and sometimes just ignorant things people do.

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The DIRT is/are the things that the other side says you did, even if you did not do them; substance abuse, crimes, non-payment, hateful things…

What cannot be stressed enough is that you have to be honest and forthright with your attorney. If you hold something back and do not disclose the full story it can come back to bite you. Being bitten could mean not getting custody, having to pay attorney’s fees, going to jail or any combination of these.

What are Examples of Dirt you ask?

  • 1) Instances of substance abuse,
  • 2) DUIs,
  • 3) Public Drunks,
  • 4) Child Endangerment charges for DUI with the children present,
  • 5) Arrests for assault,
  • 6) Battery,
  • 7)Crimes of moral turpitude or
  • 8) Violence,
  • 9) Substance abuse, even if not caught,
  • 10) Knowing you would test “hot” or “positive” for an illegal drug or
  • 11) Prescription drug for which you do not have a prescription.
  • 12) And not telling your attorney any of the above is dangerous, even if they don’t ask. Sometimes we don’t know or think to ask if you
  • 13) Are on probation from any crime.
  • 14) Is there a no contact Order against you,
  • 15) Domestic violence charges pending,
  • 16) Active warrants for your arrest,
  • 17) Suspended license.
  • 18) Are you under investigation?
  • 19) Meth lab in the garage,
  • 20) Not to mention having a paramour, an affair,
  • 21) Multiple affairs,
  • 22) Paying for your mistresses’ vacation,
  • 23) Buying the mistresses’ child a car, or
  • 24) Expending large sums of money on frivolous things.

These are just 24 examples of DIRT that I saw…last week. These dirty deeds may be done dirt cheap, but it’s going to cost you to clean it up!

Matthew Thompson is a family law attorney in Mississippi and can only attempt to clean up the DIRT that the client admits.

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You may also contact Matthew with your family law case, question or concern at (601) 850-8000 or Matthew@bowtielawyer.ms.

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It’s Never What you Think!

As an attorney that practices exclusively family law I am routinely posed with questions and scenarios of one person doing everything right and the other everything wrong.  However, when I start digging and asking the right questions I find that “It’s Never What you Think!”

Recently, I was asked by a friend to speak to friend about her potential case.  The potential client had “done everything right,” but the ex and his attorney were “out to destroy her” and would not let up.  She was at wit’s end.  As I was speaking with her I was asking about custody, visitation and support issues.

Lawyer:      “You are current on your support, right?”

Client:         “Yeah…” (said with hesitation)

Lawyer:      “That did not sound convincing”

Client:         “Well, I paid for my kids medical and activities and he has a great job and doesn’t NEED it.”

Lawyer:      “His job doesn’t really matter as far as support goes…what were you ordered to pay?

Client:         “$475.00 per month.”

Lawyer:      “When was the last time you paid $475.00?

Client:         “Years.” (said with hesitation)…”He didn’t need the money.”

This was not an instance of having “done everything right.”  Why the ex waited years to pursue it is a mystery, but he nonetheless has the right to.

In another instance, a “good father” just wanted reasonable visitation. I asked, as I always do,”What is the dirt on you?”

The DIRT is/are the things that the other side says you did, even if you did not do them; substance abuse, crimes, non-payment, hateful things.

In this instance “the dirt” was long ago, recreational drug use and just some routine fussing and fighting.  I said in jest, “Well, so long as you didn’t have a meth lab in the garage…”  “Actually, it was.”  There’s your dirt.

So to all of you well-meaning helpful friends, you are NOT getting the full story.  And to all of you eager attorneys seeking to fight injustice and righting the wrongs of others, get the full story.  It’s Never What you Think!

Matthew Thompson is a family law attorney in Mississippi and only believes half of what he sees and even less of what he hears. 

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Put Your Children First.

Divorcing spouses make it about themselves.  How he “threw it all away” or how she “abandoned the marriage.”  But, when children are in the equation they need to be First.

I know of too many instances where the children are treated as pawns.  One parent uses the other parent’s time or access to the children to get more of what they want or are just difficult for the sake of being difficult.  A parent refusing to allow the other parent to see the child for strategic reasons is just wrong.

Okay your husband strayed, does that mean he does not deserve to see the children?  Too often the parent that has the child is tempted to play “keep away.”  If your wife is a floozy that does not mean the children do not need their mother?

In all instances where there are NOT genuine safety concerns that parent should have access and see the children as much as practical. Period.  What’s the best thing you can do for your child?

Put your children first.  Make sure the other parent has quality time and access to the children.  If dad was not an every other weekend dad before the divorce, who is served by him becoming one after the divorce?

Follow the blog: BowTieLawyer Visit the website: Thompson Law Firm

You may also contact Matthew with your family law case, question or concern at (601) 850-8000 or Matthew@bowtielawyer.ms.

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