Category Archives: Divorce

The Middle Finger Next Door. (Shooting the Bird, The Bird is the Word)

In what seems to be one of the wildest “family law” stories this year, a Michigan man purchased the home next door to his ex-wife, but that is not all…

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huffingtonpost.com

He erected a giant “middle finger” statue.  It’s lighted too.  According to the disgruntled divorcee, his ex is living with her boyfriend in the home. The same boyfriend who he accused her of having an affair with during the marriage.  He reports the statue is for him, not the ex.  The ex-husband was quoted as saying that he is “so over her.” Obviously. The bird is the word.

Matthew Thompson is Family Law Attorney in Mississippi, “The Hospitality State.,” and reminds you that “shooting the bird” is not hospitable!

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Predicting the Future: I see divorce proceedings against this person “?”

Drumroll…

In what can be the only story to top anything that Charlie Sheen or Alec Baldwin do is the Mayor of Toronto, Rob Ford’s hi-jinks.

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huffingtonpost.com

As most of you now know, Rob Ford is the embattled Mayor of Toronto who has admitted to smoking crack, while being the Mayor of Toronto.  He has publicly proclaimed a “zero tolerance” drug policy, however he has dismissed his own conduct with a very plausible explanation.  He was so drunk he did not realize he was smoking crack, nor really remember it.  Just as astounding has been his candor and refusal NOT to comment publicly (meaning he talks too much).  I assume his attorney is cringing every time he knows that Rob Ford is awake!  He has had some extremely colorful quotes – one of which is not fit to reprint, but upon accusations of sexually harassing a female co-worker, Ford denied as much and stated that  he had “…more than enough to eat at home.” Wow!

Matthew Thompson is Divorce & Family Law Attorney in Mississippi and has no desire to be Mayor of Anything.

Follow the blog: BowTieLawyer Visit the websiteThompson Law Firm  You may also contact Matthew with your family law case, question or concern at (601) 850-8000 or Matthew@bowtielawyer.ms

Congratulations! You’re Divorced.

“Congratulations!”  It’s an odd thing to think and to say at then end of a marriage.

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Sometimes “congratulations” are not appropriate.  Neither party is happy and it’s not what either party wanted.  However, a divorce is not just the end of something.  It is also the beginning of a new life.  A life where even if you weren’t the spouse you should have been, you are not destined to repeat that.  Perhaps you have not been the best parent, there’s time to repair those relationships.  While you will still face difficulties and you will more than likely still have to deal with your ex, the control that was once there is limited and you can change bad habits.

There’s a book out called the Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg.  This was recommended to me by a Business Coach named Glenn Finch with Atticus.  Atticus is  unique company which advises lawyers & law firms on how to standout in their field. (insert corny joke here).  The Power of Habit basically notes that bad habits, while they cannot be eliminated, can be replaced.  You can train your brain to react to a stimuli in a different manner than “normal” by replacing the habit.

It’s often thought that the “second-time-around-spouse” gets the “better” you.  You’ve learned from your mistakes and experience is the best teacher.  And sometimes, just sometimes, you got rid of someone whose mission, it seemed, was just to bring you down.

Congratulations, you are divorced.

Matthew Thompson is Divorce & Family Law Attorney in Mississippi and knows that “congratulations” is not always appropriate, but silver linings and all…  

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Husbands CAN Get Alimony (& Alimony 101)

Is Mississippi an Alimony state? Yes.  Well then, can the man get Alimony?  It’s possible!

Alimony considerations provide that Chancery Courts are vested with broad authority to provide for the material needs of the spouses incident to divorce. Hubbard v. Hubbard, 656 So.2d 124, 129 (Miss. 1995).   “If there are sufficient marital assets which, when equitably divided and considered with each spouse’s non-marital assets, will adequately provide for both parties, no more need to be done.” Johnson v. Johnson, 650 So.2d 1281, 1287 (Miss. 1994).  In other words, alimony should only be considered if equitable distribution “leaves a deficit for one party.” Johnson, 650 So.2d at 1287 (Miss. 1994).

A Husband may make a claim for alimony.

Armstrong v. Armstrong, 618 So.2d 1278, 1280 (Miss.1993), sets out a number of factors for the court to consider in determining whether to award alimony.   Additionally, there are four types of alimony: (a) periodic, (b) rehabilitative, (c) lump sum, and (d) reimbursement.  When there is no marital property to divide upon divorce, the court looks to Armstrong to determine whether or not an award of periodic alimony is warranted. Ethridge v. Ethridge, 648 So.2d 1143 (Miss. 1995).

1)      The first factor is the income and expenses of the parties.  When there is a great disparity in the earning capacity and incomes of the parties it could support an award of Alimony.

2)      The second factor is the health and earning capacities of the parties.  This considers physical and mental health, as well as earning capacity, to include degrees, etc…

3)      Third, the court is to consider the needs of each party.  The living expenses.

4)      Fourth, the court is to consider the obligations and assets of the parties.  Is the marital estate encumbered by a significant  debt?  Is a party living off his credit card?

5)      The fifth factor to consider is the length of the marriage.  Less than 10 years is not long.  20 years and over is long.  Between 10-20 is the gray area.  Of course, it’s all gray and it’s possible to get alimony in very short marriages and not get it in very long marriages.

6)      The sixth factor is the presence or absence of minor children in the home.

7)      The seventh factor is the age of the parties.  Think years left for gainful employment and to live…

8)      The eighth factor is the parties’ standard of living, both during the marriage and at the time of the support determination.  Have the Parties  enjoyed a relatively high standard of living in comparison to most? Allowing them to take trips, to purchase recreational vehicles, to purchase a half a million dollar home in the suburbs, to send their children to private school, and have not had to be concerned about money or curb their spending during times when husband was not working?

9)      The ninth factor to consider is the tax consequences of the spousal support.   Alimony payments, normally,would be taxable income to the receiver and deductible to the payor, allowing her to receive a tax benefit in the reduction of her taxable income for the duration of the support payments.  It’s also possible to make it non-taxable, depending upon the duration of the payments and whether same is owed in the event the payor dies.

10)  The tenth factor is fault or misconduct.  Fault grounds; adultery, cruelty, etc…

11)  The eleventh factor is wasteful dissipation of assets by either party.  Booze, drugs, or gambling spending.

12)  The final factor for the court’s consideration is any other factor deemed by the court to be “just and equitable” in connection with the setting of spousal support.  So any other compelling reason in favor of alimony.

After weighing each of the factors set forth in Armstrong v. Armstrong, 618 So.2d 1278, 1280 (Miss. 1993), and viewing the totality of the circumstances, the court will find whether an award of alimony is warranted.

Matthew Thompson is an Alimony Attorney in Mississippi and has represented the man who received Alimony.  

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You may also contact Matthew with your family law case, question or concern at (601) 850-8000

Jr. is 12+, he picks where he lives, right?… Child Preferences and the Law

If I had a nickel for every time a parent has said,

“Well, Jr. is (insert age) so I reckon he picks where he lives, right?”…

I’d have a wheel barrow full of nickels.

It’s true that a child may express a custodial preference if they are 12 years old or older, however that preference alone will not carry the custody issue.  It is but one factor that the Court must consider when performing an Albright Analysis.  Albright is the case that lists the factors the judge must consider when determining custody.

Said another way a 12-year-old does not get to pick and that be the end of the story.  There are a myriad of cases where a child has stated a preference for one parent and the Court determined that the best interests of the child favored the other parent.  One famous case involved a 14-year-old that wanted to live with Dad.  Dad purchased him a 4-wheeler, let him have a TV in his bedroom and kept his  “Adult” magazines around, easily accessible.  Mom, on the other hand, made him eat his vegetables, do his homework, no TV in his room and forbade inappropriate materials.  If you’re a 14-year-old male teen, who would you pick?  The Court determined, after a factual analysis, that mom was better suited for the teen, despite his stated preference.  This case was upheld by the appellate court as well.

So, a child 12 or older can state a preference, but it may not carry the day.  The better course would be for mom and dad to resolve the custody visitation issues and prevent the child from being in that position.  However, that advice is easy to say and very difficult to follow in certain circumstances.

Matthew Thompson is a Child Custody Attorney in Mississippi.  While child preferences in a custody case matter, that alone will not support an initial custody decision, nor is the sole basis for a modification.  

Follow the blog: BowTieLawyer Visit the websiteThompson Law Firm  You may also contact Matthew with your family law case, question or concern at (601) 850-8000 or Matthew@bowtielawyer.ms

The Adultery Train- All Aboard!

An affair plays a significant role in a large number of divorces.  It is a train wreck to a relationship.

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Beezqp- “Big Bad Locomotive”

A sure-fire way to wreak havoc in a marriage is to have an affair.  Mississippi law defines an affair or adultery as sexual intercourse, with a person of the opposite sex, not your spouse.  However, due to the secretive nature of affairs you do not have to have an admission of guilt or pictures, though it helps.  The ground can be proven through circumstantial evidence.

Upon a satisfactory showing of 1) inclination or infatuation, which can consist of cards, notes, emails, love letters, texts and phone records showing many calls; and 2) opportunity, which is the spouse and that other person alone together, be it in a car, house, motel, hotel, park or back alley, a Court can find that fault grounds exist.  Due to this, even the whole “it’s only an emotional affair” and the “we didn’t have sex” may not be enough to stop the Adultery train from running over you.

So, why do people have affairs?  They can be exciting, fun and pleasurable, at least for a little while.  What leads to this? Sometimes the person is unhappy, dissatisfied, over-stressed, unloved, under-appreciated, or at least believe that they are.

The problem is the affair does not fix the problem.  It only serves to make things worse.  Because along with an affair comes new baggage.  Guilt, secrecy, and the emotions of a third person are now commingled in your personal life.  An affair not only hurts your spouse, but also you, your children and the other party.  It has emotional consequences, financial consequences, custody consequences and legal consequences.

An affair is a Train wreck in the making.

Matthew Thompson is a semi-part-time Family Law Professor at MC Law and a Divorce Attorney encouraging you to avoid train wrecks!

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Beer Muscles- When exercising is not OK.

Habitual Drunkenness is not only a fault ground for divorce, but also leads to a wide variety of family law troubles.

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Alcohol (aka:booze, beer, hooch, liquor, wine, drink, the bottle) is an easy vice to turn to, especially when dealing with the emotion and anxiety of family issues.  However, it seldom salves and often makes things worse.  Habitual drunkenness, that is consistent alcohol use and abuse to the extent that it cause the breakdown of the marriage, is grounds for divorce.  Additionally, alcohol abuse can and will be used against you in a custody determination.  I am not saying that you have to be a tee-total-er, but abuse of alcohol leads to poor judgement, decreased inhibitions and legal trouble.

Alcohol contributes to domestic violence incidents, accidents, and of course DUI.  The risks always outweigh the rewards.

So do you have an alcohol problem?  Well, there are a few ways to tell.  Have you asked yourself if you have an alcohol problem?  If so, you might.  Can you go without drinking?  If you suspect you have an alcohol problem seek help now.  It will help your family later.

Matthew Thompson is a Family Law Adj. Professor at MC Law and a Child Custody/Divorce Attorney.  Drink Responsibly! (if you do).

Follow the blog: BowTieLawyer Visit the websiteThompson Law FirmYou may also contact Matthew with your family law case, question or concern at (601) 850-8000 or Matthew@bowtielawyer.ms

Marriage defined.

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BowTieLawyer.MS Divorce Attorney
Matthew Thompson.