Category Archives: Irreconcilable differences

Marriage is a Fundamental Right, Divorce is NOT.

The United States Supreme Court has ruled that you have a fundamental right to marry the person of your choosing. See Loving v. Virginia, Zablocki v. Redhail, and Obergefell v. Hodges.

This is especially true in Mississippi, but only with regard to the right to marry.

Mississippi is 1 of only 2 states in the US that does not recognize a married person’s absolute right to a divorce. South Dakota is the other state. This means that in Mississippi your spouse has to agree to the divorce and ALL of the terms of the divorce (irreconcilable differences) OR you have to have Fault Grounds against your spouse that you can prove to the satisfaction of a Judge.

If there is no agreement by the spouses OR you do not have OR cannot prove fault grounds you will just stay unhappily married.

So, what happens if your spouse will not agree and you cannot prove grounds? You stay married or you move away. Those are your options.

Matthew Thompson is a Family Law Attorney in Mississippi and can help you get out of being unhappily ever after.

60 Days = Divorce?

Sixty days and you are divorced is NOT the law in Mississippi.

§ 93-5-2 – Divorce on ground of irreconcilable differences

“(4) Complaints for divorce on the ground of irreconcilable differences must have been on file for sixty (60) days before being heard... the provisions of Section 93-5-17 to the contrary notwithstanding.”

60 days is NOT a deadline. It is a minimum, mandatory waiting period. It provides sufficient time for a cooling-off period and typically sufficient time to do all of the things necessary to complete the paperwork required in an Irreconcilable Differences divorce.

You are NOT automatically divorced on day 60 or 61. It means that AFTER 60 days the completed paperwork may be presented to the Chancellor for their review and approval.

Additionally, all of the paperwork does NOT have to be completed before you file and the Court will keep the file open for at least 12 months with no additional activity. This means at any point after the initial filing and 60 days, a divorce may be presented and finalized.

Matthew Thompson is a “No Fault” divorce attorney in Mississippi.

Happy Birthday! Donate to Mississippi Legal Services

In lieu of birthday presents this year, I’m asking that you consider making a donation to Mississippi Center for Legal Services Corporation.

Legal Services afforded me my first legal “job!” The summer of my first year of law school I volunteered with them. I was assigned to work with an amazing attorney, Lula Anderson.

Attorney Anderson was one of the contract family law attorneys at the time and I heard Irreconcilable Differences Divorce 101 more times than I could count that Summer. Due to that experience it helped me get a paying clerkship with the family law firm Chinn & Associates, paving the way for Thompson Law Firm.

I’ve chosen this nonprofit because their mission means a lot to me. Legal Service’s attorneys represent low income families, pro bono, in Mississippi that need civil representation.

A lot of the great people I worked with are still there, including; Tara Bryant Walker, Richard Hitt, and Lindia Robinson just to name a few.

Since establishing my own firm, I have continued to volunteer with Legal Services. I now serve on the Board of Directors and routinely speak at Continuing Legal Education seminars for Legal Services. I’ll be presenting a Family Law Update on July 27 in Hattiesburg.

I hope you’ll consider contributing as a way to celebrate with me. Every little bit will help the goal.

This link goes to the Facebook donation page.

331197450751450/331197460751449/https://www.facebook.com/donate/

No Facebook? Donate directly here.

Matthew Thompson is a Mississippi Family Law attorney and Board member with Mississippi Center for Legal Services.

Clarion-Ledger: Protecting families, or prolonging misery?

Protecting families, or prolonging misery?

Matthew Thompson is a Mississippi family law attorney and professor, and having difficult, drawn-out and costly divorces would be good for his pocketbook.

But Thompson supports reform and changes to divorce laws, “even though it’s against my own self interests.”

“The current laws make it expensive, and in some instances, impossible to get a divorce,” said Thompson, whose firm focuses on family law statewide and who is a professor teaching domestic relations at Mississippi College’s law school.

Thompson said the Legislature’s recent divorce law reform, removing a corroboration requirement for abused spouses, is a needed change.

“Our law has required cruelty claims be corroborated with evidence beyond that of the victim’s testimony,” Thompson said. “… Even if the court believed you, you had to have a neighbor, family member, police report or picture, or you didn’t have corroboration … Now, if the court finds the victim truthful and credible, the court can accept that. If you take a step back and think, that makes sense. Our judges have always been the lie detector, always the barometer of whether someone was credible.

“There is some form of abuse in a vast number of divorce cases,” Thompson said. “Not every one, but a lot of them. When you drill down and include physical, mental, emotional, verbal abuse — It’s a significant number of cases. We as human beings treat the people we are supposed to love the most the worst.”

Thompson said he supports Mississippi creating a “no-fault” ground for divorce. South Dakota is the only other state without such a ground. He said opposition to this change, from those saying it will weaken the sanctity of marriage and increase divorces, is misguided. In practice, Mississippi’s lack of a no-fault ground allows one spouse to hold up a divorce, sometimes for years.

“The idea behind making it difficult to get a divorce is that Mississippi is promoting marriage,” Thompson said. “But when you go 10 years and it costs tens of thousands of dollars — those aren’t intact families trying to get back together.

“Our law promotes divorce blackmail,” Thompson said. “… You have to pay what I say, or agree to what I want, or I won’t agree to a divorce … You have a fundamental, constitutional right to marriage, according to (a U.S. Supreme Court ruling). Shouldn’t you have a fundamental right to a divorce? I guess the counter to that is that you don’t have to get married.”

Thompson said some of the moral and religious arguments focused on divorce policies should be focused on the front-end, marriage policies.

“Our state has made it phenomenally easy to get into a marriage,” Thompson said. “There used to be a three-day wait, used to be a blood test requirement. But now you just go to the circuit clerk and pay $25.

“Studies show having mom and dad happily married and living together is what’s best for children and families,” Thompson said. “Having mom and dad get along and living separately would be second best. Mom and dad living together and fighting and being miserable, whether it’s violent or just cold war, that’s not the best. If this is really about protecting families, there are ways to do that, but still have an appropriate and reasonable means to get out of a marriage. It shouldn’t take a beating or physical violence to get there.”

Contact Geoff Pender at 601-961-7266 or gpender@gannett.com. Follow him on Twitter.

Divorce Floodgates; Why Mississippi Will Always be Backwards and Our “Leaders” are Leading the Way.

Mississippi is again the butt of the joke, the laughingstock, and the backwards looking, Buckle of the Bible-belt, and proud of it.

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Go Get My Belt

The Mississippi legislature has refused to “open the floodgates of divorce.” This is demonstrated by the recent deaths of two bills. One, providing an additional ground for divorce if your spouse commits Domestic Violence against you, and the second casualty, adding “two years of actual separation” as a fault ground.

A Change of Heart

Who killed it?  The whole legislature is not to blame (or take credit). Both bills passed the Senate. Mississippi House of Representative, Andy Gipson, takes the credit for killing Senate Bill 2703. This is the bill that added Domestic Violence as a ground. Gipson would not even allow the merits of the bill to be considered for discussion in the House. Gipson told the Clarion Ledger “[w]e need to have policies that strengthen marriage. If a person is abusive, they need to have a change in behavior and change of heart.” Gipson went on to add that current, existing law covers the proposed changes rendering it unnecessary and that the change would “open the floodgates” of divorce. Gipson’s rationale relied upon contradictory points. Gipson argued out of both sides of his mouth.

However, Gipson is wrong. The current, existing law requires proof of habitual cruel and inhuman treatment. Habitual means constant. It is quite likely that one conviction for Domestic Violence would not be grounds for divorce in a large majority of Mississippi’s divorce Courts. The law provides that for one instance to be enough it has to be physically severe. Interestingly, one conviction is enough to provide that the offender can never possess a gun, ever again, but it does not provide that the spouse-victim can get a divorce.

Gipson provided no means for this change of heart either.

Don’t Go Changing the Rules in the Middle of the Game

State Senator Chris McDaniel put in his two cents, as well. As he voted against the proposal to add two years of bona fide, actual separation as an additional ground for divorce, which Gipson also killed. McDaniel stated that “given the state is in the marriage and divorce business, lawmakers shouldn’t be changing the terms of the contract midstream.” This comment literally means that he believes that people seeking to marry fully contemplate the 12 fault grounds for divorce, the Court’s burden of proof to establish same with corroborating witnesses and evidence, and then and only then enter into a marital contract. Ridiculous.

We’re Not Last in Something

Every state except Mississippi and South Dakota provide for a true No-Fault divorce process. This means that in the 48 other states, and the District of Columbia, if you are a resident and want a divorce you get a divorce. According to the Center for Disease Control, Mississippi is tied for the 15th highest divorce rate, per capita, in the United States. That means that over 30 states have a lower divorce rate than Mississippi, despite it being infinitely easier to gain a divorce in those states. Floodgates be damned.

“If You Ain’t First, Your’re Last” – Ricky Bobby

Mississippi is perennially last in every “good” category and first in the “bad” categories. Our head-in-the-sand “leaders” seem to be doing their best to keep us there. Mississippi ranks last in education for high-school graduation, last in school performance , one of the highest unemployment rates, and 49th in teen pregnancy rate. We are also statistically more obese, worse drivers and will die sooner. Maybe that last one is good?

But it Just Enriches Lawyers

I am a divorce lawyer. The current, existing laws only serve to enrich lawyers, not protect families. Our Courts, and man’s law, cannot make people love each other and cannot make people live together. The proposed law change, making divorce law make sense, would make it less lucrative to be a divorce lawyer. But, it’s still the right thing to do. While Gipson and McDaniel are both lawyers, the majority of our legislature is not. Only about 32% of the entire legislature are lawyers. 48 or so, out of 152. It is not a bunch of lawyers running amok. However, 45% of our legislature are Baptists. Some 69 or so, including Gipson and McDaniel. Even if, at best, this is not about money, it means that this is about forcing your subjective beliefs on someone else. Remember, this Country was founded upon religious freedoms. It is in the Constitution.

The Bottom Line

Why should you care? Because the current law promotes divorce blackmail. Divorces are a necessary “evil” of life and marriage. Divorce is rooted in the Bible and while it is despised, it is allowed for adultery, abandonment, abuse and adultery of the heart. The heart that needs to be changed is the heart of a lawmaker that seeks to keep a just-enough-abused, but not too much, spouse in a loveless “marriage.” That is not a marriage. The floodgates are already open. The law change actually serves to help and protect those that we are commanded to help and to protect.

Matthew Thompson is an opinionated divorce lawyer, adjunct professor that teaches family law, author of Mississippi Divorce, Alimony and Child Support, a native Mississippian and proud of all of the above.

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Mediation Explanation

Mediation is a process to help bring your pending litigation (or potential litigation) to a conclusion short of Court.

Mediation is a collaborative effort involving the parties, their attorneys and a hired, third-party neutral, the mediator. In family law cases, it is usually a retired chancellor or a private attorney, who has spent some significant portion of their career handling family law cases.

Mediation is an opportunity for you to have your say, be advised as to the strengths and/or weaknesses of your case, and find the common ground so that you may settle your case.

Mediation is really a guided settlement. If done right (and successfully), at the conclusion of the mediation you leave with a signed settlement and all of the needed documents that can be presented to the Judge to make it final.

Mediation is not an Arbitration. Arbitration has a person(s) that is making the final decision, not the parties. Arbitration is quasi-court.

Mediation is non-binding. Either you reach a deal or you do not. At the end of the day you must agree to get a result.

Mediation is not admissible in Court, if not settled.  Settlement positions cannot be discussed with the Court to show what someone would have done for settlement purposes.

Mediation may be right for you. It is quicker than trial, cheaper than trial, you have say in the outcome and is effective 9 out of 10 times.

Matthew Thompson is a family law attorney that mediates a significant number of cases and advises his clients as to the pros and cons of a mediation.

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COMMON MISCONCEPTIONS IN FAMILY LAW

Please see our article appearing in this month’s edition of The Mississippi Lawyer magazine. It’s reproduced below for your convenience.

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Many times we have clients call regarding a divorce and have common misconceptions because “that’s what they have heard.” Just because your friend’s neighbor went through a divorce does not mean that what they experienced applies to your case. Also, as all cases are uniquely different, your case is not guaranteed to be like theirs.

I’m filing for a no fault divorce. Mississippi is not a true “no fault” state. At this time, one party cannot file for a no fault divorce in Mississippi. Both parties may file for a divorce on Irreconcilable Differences, keyword “both” parties. This filing is usually a Joint Complaint for Divorce, which also requires that both parties have entered into an Agreement for the custody, support and maintenance of the minor child(ren) and the settlement of all property rights.

An affair means you can’t have custody. False. When determining custody, the Court relies on the Albright factors. Albright vs. Albright, 437 So. 2d 1003 (Miss 1983). One of the factor is the moral fitness of the parents, this is where the Court could consider any fault or misconduct on the parties. The court has stated “marital fault should not be used as a sanction in custody awards.” Carr, 480 So.2d at 1123. Where both parties engage in extramarital affairs, neither should get the benefit of a finding of moral fitness. Fulk v. Fulk, 827 So.2d 736, 740(¶ 15) (Miss.Ct.App.2002).

A court should determine custody and the best interests of the child by looking at the following factors:

  1. Age of the child.
  2. Health of the child.
  3. Sex of the child.
  4. Continuity of care prior to the separation.
  5.  Which parent has the better parenting skills and the willingness and capacity to provide primary child care.
  6. The employment of the parent and the responsibilities of that employment.
  7. Physical and mental health and age of the parents.
  8. Emotional ties of parent and child.
  9. Moral fitness of the parents.
  10. The home, community and school record of the child.
  11. The preference of the child at the age sufficient to express a preference by law. (Must be at least 12, and it’s ONLY a preference)
  12. Stability of home environment and employment of each parent.
  13. Other factors relevant to the parent-child  relationship.

The woman always gets custody. False. Miss. Code Ann. §93-5-24(7) states: “There shall be no presumption that it is in the best interest of a child that a mother be awarded either legal or physical custody.” Some lawyers may be screaming at this article, “what about the tender-years doctrine??” In Rosser v. Morris, the Court of Appeals affirmed the trial court’s decision of the mother being granted custody and during an analysis of Albright stated, “Although the tender-years doctrine was ” significantly weakened” by section 93-5-24(7), ” there is still a presumption that a mother is generally better suited to raise a young child.” Passmore v. Passmore, 820 So.2d 747, 750 (¶ 9) (Miss. Ct. App. 2002), 135 So.3d 945 (2014). The lower court found that since the father had played an active role in changing diapers, bath times, and games that the factor of the age, health and sex of the child favored neither parent.

Once a child is twelve, he/she can decide where they want to live. This is simply not true. When making a custody determination the Court considers ALL of the Albright factors. The applicable statute, Mississippi Code Annotated section 93-11-65(1)(a) (Supp.2006), states ” the chancellor may consider the preference of a child of twelve (12) years of age or older as to the parent with whom the child would prefer to live in determining what would be in the best interest and welfare of the child. The chancellor shall place on the record the reason or reasons for which the award of custody was made and explain in detail why the wishes of any child were or were not honored.”  (Emphasis added.) Phillips v. Phillips, 45 So.3d 684 (2010). One of the factors includes the preference of the child over the age of 12, but this one factor alone does not carry the day. The child’s preference is not outcome determinant. Holmes v. Holmes, 958 So.2d 844, 848 (¶ 15) (Miss.Ct.App.2007) That being said, as a child reaches certain, more mature ages, the Court may be more inclined to adopt the child’s preference.

“Take you to the cleaners” Mississippi is an equitable distribution state. Equitable distribution does not mean 50/50, but it also does not mean 100/0. The court has laid out several factors known as the “Ferguson Factors” when it comes to equitable distribution. Ferguson vs. Ferguson, 639 So.2d 921, 928-9 (Miss. 1994).  The enumerated factors are as follows:

  1. Substantial contribution to the accumulation of the property (Mopping it Up in a Divorce, click for explanation).Factors to be considered in determining contribution are as follows:
    • Direct or indirect economic contribution to the acquisition of the property;  
    • Contribution to the stability and harmony of the marital and family relationships as measured by quality, quantity of time spent on family duties and duration of the marriage; and
    • Contribution to the education, training or other accomplishment bearing on the earning power of the spouse accumulating the assets.
  2. The degree to which each spouse has expended, withdrawn or otherwise disposed of marital asset(Marital Waste; Don’t Spend Money on Your Girlfriend).and any prior distribution of such assets by agreement, decree or otherwise.
  3. The market value and the emotional value of the assets(Sentimental Value can be Valuable) subject to distribution.
  4. The value of assets not ordinarily,absent equitable factors to the contrary, subject to such distribution (Sentimental Value can be Valuable), such as property brought to the marriage by the parties and property acquired by inheritance or inter vivos gift by or to an individual spouse;
  5. Tax and other economic consequences, and contractual or legal consequences to third parties, of the proposed distribution;
  6. The extent to which property division may, with equity to both parties, be utilized to eliminate periodic payments and other potential sources of future friction between the parties;
  7. The needs of the parties for financial security with due regard to the combination of assets, income and earning capacity; and,
  8. Any other factor which in equity should be considered.

Mississippi is not an alimony state. Mississippi is an alimony state. The court has laid out several factors known as the “Armstrong Factors” when determining whether or not alimony is appropriate. Armstrong vs. Armstrong, 618 So.2d 1278, 1280 (Miss. 1993).

It is important to note the Court has directed that alimony is to be used after an equitable distribution of the marital estate. If the court finds that the needs of both parties are met and there is no disparity with the distribution of the marital estate, the court does not consider alimony.

1)      The first factor is the income and expenses of the parties.  When there is a great disparity in the earning capacity and incomes of the parties it could support an award of Alimony.

2)      The second factor is the health and earning capacities of the parties.  This considers physical and mental health, as well as earning capacity, to include degrees, etc…

3)      Third, the court is to consider the needs of each party.  The living expenses.

4)      Fourth, the court is to consider the obligations and assets of the parties.  Is the marital estate encumbered by a significant  debt?  Is a party living off his credit card?

5)      The fifth factor to consider is the length of the marriage.  Less than 10 years is not long.  20 years and over is long.  Between 10-20 is the gray area.  Of course, it’s all gray and it’s possible to get alimony in very short marriages and not get it in very long marriages.

6)      The sixth factor is the presence or absence of minor children in the home.

7)      The seventh factor is the age of the parties.  Think years left for gainful employment and to live…

8)      The eighth factor is the parties’ standard of living, both during the marriage and at the time of the support determination.  Have the Parties  enjoyed a relatively high standard of living in comparison to most? Allowing them to take trips, to purchase recreational vehicles, to purchase a half a million dollar home in the suburbs, to send their children to private school, and have not had to be concerned about money or curb their spending during times when husband was not working?

9)      The ninth factor to consider is the tax consequences of the spousal support.   Alimony payments, normally,would be taxable income to the receiver and deductible to the payor, allowing her to receive a tax benefit in the reduction of her taxable income for the duration of the support payments.  It’s also possible to make it non-taxable, depending upon the duration of the payments and whether same is owed in the event the payor dies.

10)  The tenth factor is fault or misconduct.  Fault grounds; adultery, cruelty, etc…

11)  The eleventh factor is wasteful dissipation of assets by either party.  Booze, drugs, or gambling spending.

12)  The final factor for the court’s consideration is any other factor deemed by the court to be “just and equitable” in connection with the setting of spousal support.  So any other compelling reason in favor of alimony.

After weighing each of the factors set forth in Armstrong v. Armstrong, 618 So.2d 1278, 1280 (Miss. 1993), and viewing the totality of the circumstances, the court will find whether an award of alimony is warranted.

The man has to provide health insurance. False. At first I thought this was a joke, but I have heard it enough times to include it in this list. There is no authority that a male is required by law to provide health insurance. This usually comes up in child support issues. Miss. Code Ann. §43-19-101 (6) states:

(6) All orders involving support of minor children, as a matter of law, shall include reasonable medical support. Notice to the obligated parent’s employer that medical support has been ordered shall be on a form as prescribed by the Department of Human Services. In any case in which the support of any child is involved, the court shall make the following findings either on the record or in the judgment:

(a) The availability to all parties of health insurance coverage for the child(ren);

(b) The cost of health insurance coverage to all parties.

The court shall then make appropriate provisions in the judgment for the provision of health insurance coverage for the child(ren) in the manner that is in the best interests of the child(ren). If the court requires the custodial parent to obtain the coverage then its cost shall be taken into account in establishing the child support award. If the court determines that health insurance coverage is not available to any party or that it is not available to either party at a cost that is reasonable as compared to the income of the parties, then the court shall make specific findings as to such either on the record or in the judgment. In that event, the court shall make appropriate provisions in the judgment for the payment of medical expenses of the child(ren) in the absence of health insurance coverage.

            If we have joint custody, that means I do not have to pay child support. False. Child Support can still be awarded within the Chancellor’s discretion under the statute. Chancellors can evaluate the expenses of the child, the difference in wage and earning capacity of the parties’ to determine whether child support would be appropriate.

            Common misconceptions abound and include more than just the topics included here. Friends and the internet can be a valuable resource, but they can also be dangerous to rely upon. Instead, rely upon your attorney. Ask the question even if you think you know the answer. Do not let these Family Law faux pas trip you up.

By Matthew Thompson & Chad King

Matthew Thompson & Chad King are attorneys with Thompson Law Firm. If you have questions regarding a Family Law matter, or any other legal issue, you may call to have your questions answered or for an appropriate referral at (601)850-8000.

3 things NOT to say the First time you call a Lawyer.

Calling a lawyer for the first time feels worse than going to the dentist or seeing a letter in your mailbox from the IRS.

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In addition to being nervous, you are typically calling because you are having legal problems and need help.

3 things NOT to  say on that first call:

  1. TLF:  Thompson Law Firm, this is Sara speaking. How may I help you?

           PC:  This is John. Y’all have to do free (or pro bono) cases, right?!

 2. TLF:  Thompson Law Firm, this is Sara speaking. How may I help you?

           PC:  This is John. How much is a No Fault divorce?

         TLF: Well, John, that depends upon whether all of the issues are agreed upon with regard to…

        PC:  Attorney “So-and-So” said he’d do it for $500.00 dollars!

     3. TLF:  Thompson Law Firm, this is Sara speaking. How may I help you?

           PC:  This is John. I need a bulldog! I want a Junk Yard Dog that will get down and dirty, do whatever it takes and be willing to go lower than Trump or Hillary!

         TLF: Well, sir,  all we do at TLF is family law, but there is a right way of handling matters…

BONUS:  TLF:  Thompson Law Firm, this is Sara speaking. How may I help you?

           PC:  This is John and I need a divorce…hold on just a second…(said into speaker) I need a #5, super biggie sized, extra ketchup and pickles, and a diet coke…(back to TLF)…now, where was I?

Matthew Thompson is a Mississippi Divorce Attorney and knows it’s hard to make that first phone call, but NOT doing the above and being prepared will make it easier.

Follow the blog: BowTieLawyer Visit the websiteThompson Law Firm You may also contact Matthew with your family law case, question or concern at (601) 850-8000 or Matthew@bowtielawyer.ms