Category Archives: Visitation

Riding the Wave – “Coping” with Family, Law and Family Law

One of the best pieces of advice is to “ride the wave.”  In family law, such as life, adversity is a given. How you respond is the key.

How you choose to deal with that adversity will directly contribute to the results you get.  Oftentimes it is a common reaction to fight fire with fire, and we all know the eye for an eye sentiment, but that may not be the best response.  I have previously blogged on dealing with stress and uncertainty.  This one is a little different. It is not so much how to cope, but to try to use the adversity to your advantage.

A great example was when I was faced with a young father being sued for an increase in child support.  He had experienced an increase in  income and was really starting to enjoy life.  The ex sued him and he viewed this as ‘just his luck.’  I explained that she may be entitled to a child support increase, that he was paying a very low amount from a previous order, that some time had passed since last being in Court and that an increase was due.  As I discussed his situation he disclosed some frustration with the visitation schedule. How his new job, while paying well made the current schedule difficult to work  and the ex was not too easy to get along with.  I told him that since we are “going to court” that we should seek a visitation modification.  He did not want to make things worse. I told him it would not. Ultimately, an increase in support was negotiated along with a visitation schedule change that allowed him more time.

He rode the wave, sure it cost more money, but that is what the law requires once you subject yourself to the Court system.  He used the adversity to get a better result.

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You may also contact Matthew with your family law case, question or concern at (601) 850-8000 or Matthew@bowtielawyer.ms.

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Why is my Court Hearing Somewhere Else?

Mississippi has 20 Chancery Court Districts and 49 Chancery Court Judges, but Mississippi has 82 counties.  Most Chancery Court Districts, therefore, include more than one county.

You file your case in your home county’s Chancery Clerk’s Office, most often.  This is the appropriate “jurisdiction.” One District has a first and second judicial district, being Hinds County.  Most districts, however, include more than one County.  In that instance you still file in your home county, but you may well see the judge, have Court, and otherwise be in another County for your case.

I have been asked and have heard litigants try to use this as an advantage.  Perhaps not having to testify at home, making witnesses have to drive, or having Court somewhere else will lead to a better result. It doesn’t.  It is the same Judge, the same facts and in most instance just 30-45 minutes this way or that way from the other Courthouse.

One thing to remember when having litigation in multiple counties is to be mindful where the Court file is.  It is the lawyer’s job to see that the Court file makes it to Court.  I have seen time and again someone forget the Court file and the Judge be unwilling to take action until it can be retrieved or recessed until another day when it can be obtained.

I was involved in a 10th District case, commonly thought of as Hattiesburg, but had actual Court hearings in 5 different counties throughout the pendency of the case.  In no particular order, we had a trial and motion hearings in 1) Forrest County, Hattiesburg; 2) Lamar County, Purvis; 3) Marion County; Columbia, a temporary hearing in 4) Pearl River County, Poplarville, and a motion for New Trial in 5) Perry County, New Augusta.  Each hearing had the same judge, attorneys and parties, but were in so many different places because that is where the Judge was the days we had court appearances.

Matthew Thompson is a Family Law attorney, with a statewide practice, and recommends you hire a lawyer either in the area of where your case is or a lawyer who practices in that area.

Follow the blog: BowTieLawyer Visit the website: Thompson Law Firm

You may also contact Matthew with your family law case, question or concern at (601) 850-8000 or Matthew@bowtielawyer.ms.

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-Every Other Weekend- It’s not just the weekends anymore.

“Standard” visitation is a term thrown around by lawyers and the Courts, but there is no such thing in Mississippi.

Having said that, Judges do have a standard visitation schedule.  Confused yet?

Standard visitation is thought of as every other weekend, from Friday at 6:00 pm until Sunday at 6:00 pm.  It  includes Wednesday afternoons from 4:00 pm to 7:00 pm during those weeks a parent does not have weekend visitation, and 4 weeks in the summer (non-consecutive), and alternating major holidays.

One of the most difficult things to explain to a divorcing parent who will no longer be living with their children is that they may not be able to see the children anytime they want to.  This is disturbing to me, to them and it should be to the Courts.  That just because a mom and dad are getting a divorce that they can no longer live with or be with their children a substantial amount of time.

I encourage generous and liberal visitation. I encourage joint custody, but acknowledge there are circumstances where it is not best.  Also, there are some parents that don’t want it.  Every other weekend is fine.  The parent can work and go out and have a life and then have a fun weekend with the kids, while the other parent is harping on them about grades, homework, bedtime and being well-behaved.  It seems there is always a “Disney Dad,” that has elaborate trips and fun planned for his weekend, while the full-time mom is making egg-carton planters, explaining the wonders of growing bell peppers from seeds.

So what do you do?  Be reasonable.  Look for ways to allow the other parent to actually parent. Click here for the best thing you can do for your child! If you are on the receiving end of every other weekend, seek more. Ask for it.  There is a trend in the law where non-custodial parents, usually dads, are getting more time.  In fact, in Rankin County Mississippi there is a judge who regularly awards every other weekend, but defines it as Wednesday to Monday every other weekend.  The pick-ups and drop-offs are at school.  There is less opportunity for mom and dad to have contact and typically less conflict.  It affords a non-custodial parent a lot time.  This may not be right in every situation, but it is better than the alternative, usually.

Matthew Thompson is a family law attorney in Mississippi and thinks parents should continue to be parents even if they are no longer living together.

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Emergency! The 411 on 911 in Court

I get the call, at least, weekly.  It is an EMERGENCY!  I have to get into Court yesterday to solve some critical issue.  However, once I start asking questions the emergency is more like an inconvenience.

For Court purposes, think of an emergency as being a true emergency; danger of life or limb, or the immediate threat of imminent and irreparable harm.

The Court judges emergencies on a case by case basis to make sure they have merit.  Some examples  of emergencies include;

  • when the custodial parent refuses life saving medical treatment, against medical advice
  • when one parent absconds with a child, it’s not “their” time and refuses all contact
  • when a parent is using illegal drugs in the presence of the child and/or exposing the child to that lifestyle
  • is abusing the child
  • is neglecting the child

Some examples of non-emergencies, at least for Court purposes;

  • is 15 minutes late for a pick-up or a drop-off, even multiple times
  • stops paying the house mortgage
  • forgot to give the recommended dose of antibiotics
  • returns the child in the same clothes that he was dropped off in
  • returns the child with a scratch or bruise caused by kids being kids

Emergencies are quite often judgment calls and the Judges treat these seriously when they are serious and are nonplussed when a lawyer files an Emergency Petition over a non-urgent circumstance.  The Judges are also somewhat on guard against persons using ERs for tactical advantage and this can and does backfire on the petitioner if it is not a true emergency.

Matthew Thompson is a family law attorney in Mississippi and is careful on the draw about declaring emergencies.

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You may also contact Matthew with your family law case, question or concern at (601) 850-8000 or Matthew@BowTieLawyer.ms

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War Stories; A “Bump” in the Road

Client sabotages own case.  Story at eleven.

FACTS:  A mother lost custody, temporarily, due to being arrested for driving on a suspended license.  The father was given the child and while mom was in jail he filed a fault based divorce, sought custody and had her served.  Mom was finally released and began the process of regaining custody.  Mom filed an Answer and a claim for custody herself.

At a temporary hearing, which is a legal band-aid to address custody and finances, mom presented her case.  Upon being cross-examined there were numerous questions about alleged drug use.  Well, fortunately, mom had been thoroughly interviewed and prepared by her lawyer.  Her ONLY dirt was the suspended license.

Mom denied the drug allegations as laughable. Some of mom’s financial records were introduced that showed her in some shady parts of town at unseemly hours. This was shown through ATM transactions. However, mom was a waitress at night and just blew off some steam with some co-workers and got beer money. No harm, no foul.  Then mom was asked about a pipe that was “found” in her belongings.  “Not mine,” she quipped.

The Court was ready to rule. The Judge indicated that it seemed dad may have taken advantage of mom’s unfortunate circumstances. It came out that he may have tipped off law enforcement that she was driving on a suspended license. That Jerk!  But, “out of an abundance of caution” the Court decided to Order hair follicle drug tests. In fact, the Judge ordered that they were to report to get tested that day, before 5:00 p.m., to have the results furnished to the Court directly from the testing facility and then, assuming all clear, he would determine the custody and visitation for each.

On the way out of the Courtroom mom asked…

Can I delay the test?”    “What?!!!”    “I may have had a “‘bump...(of coke).'”

Nope. Not taking the test was not an option. Only the worst could be assumed from that. Mom took the test and failed, miserably.  A No Contact Order was entered. Dad passed. Mom lied.

Final Result:  A few weeks later the parties reconciled! Case dismissed.

Matthew Thompson is a Child Custody Attorney in Mississippi and while there may be bumps in the road it does not mean you should cause the bumps.

Follow the blog:#BowTieLawyer  You may also contact Matthew with your family law matter or question at (601) 850-8000 or Matthew@bowtielawyer.ms

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Churchill Wisdom; On Perseverance

Never, never, never give up.  

Sir Winston Churchill

I recently concluded a 3 year, 4-day, custody trial.  The matter began 3 years ago on an emergency basis, removing custody of a child from one parent, due to their conduct, and placing custody with the other parent.

The matter took three years because it was in two different Courts; Youth Court and Chancery Court.  There was a lawyer change about a year into the matter and it took some time to have the matter transferred from one Court to the other.

There were Orders regarding pyschological evaluations and parenting classes and requirements of completing those processes.  Also, the delay benefited the party that had emergency custody, so having it concluded sooner was not a huge priority.  It also took a long time to get to the trial setting. It was set months in advance but due to the Court docket being backed up it was not quick.  Also, when the matter was not finished on the day set for trial, you do not just go back the next day, you get another setting months down the road.

This, however, is by no means a standard time frame, but it does happen. During the three years both parties wavered on pursuing the matter to the end, on compromising and just giving up.  But, perseverance prevailed.  Justice prevailed and the Court ultimately ruled on Custody and what was in the best interest of the child.

Matthew Thompson is a family law attorney in Mississippi and can attest that perseverance can win the race.

Follow the blog: BowTieLawyer Visit the website: Thompson Law Firm

You may also contact Matthew with your family law case, question or concern at (601) 850-8000 or Matthew@wmtlawfirm.com.

Happy Mother’s Day!

Mother’s are the most important influence in a child’s life.  A mom’s job is never done and frequently is under-appreciated,  overworked and underpaid, except maybe “fringe” benefits.

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The modern holiday of Mother’s Day was first celebrated in 1908, when Anna Jarvis held a memorial for her mother in West Virginia. Jarvis began a campaign to make “Mother’s Day” a recognized holiday in the United States. Officially Mother’s Day was first celebrated in 1914. This holiday was adopted by other countries and it is now celebrated all over the world.  – Wikipedia

Mother’s Day is also routinely addressed in Custody and Visitation schedules. Under most Orders, Mom gets Mother’s Day regardless of whose weekend it is and it can include either the day or the entire weekend. In the few instances where this is overlooked, I still encourage dad to allow mom this time to be with the children.

Matthew Thompson is a family law attorney in Mississippi and wishes all the Mothers in his life Happy Mother’s Day!

Follow the blog: BowTieLawyer Visit the website: Thompson Law Firm

You may also contact Matthew with your family law case, question or concern at (601) 850-8000 or Matthew@wmtlawfirm.com.

Guilty of Domestic Violence? = No Custody.

Divorce, family conflict and high emotion can sometimes lead to domestic violence, and sometimes domestic violence leads to high emotion, family conflict and divorce.  In addition to Domestic Violence being a crime, the perpetrator of family violence is presumed to be unfit for custody by law.

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Mississippi Law provides that a parent with a history of family violence shall not have custody.  MCA Section 93-5-24 (9) applies to “every proceeding where the custody of a child is in dispute.  The court may find a history of perpetrating family violence if the court finds, by a preponderance of the evidence, one (1) incident of family violence that has resulted in serious bodily injury to, or a pattern of family violence against, the party making the allegation or a family household member of either party. The court shall make written findings to document how and why the presumption was or was not triggered.  Miss. Code Ann. § 93-5-24 (9)(a)(1).

Once proof of family violence is offered and findings of family violence is made by the court, the following must be enforced by the Court.

  1. That “there shall be a rebuttable presumption that it is detrimental to the child and not in the best interest of the child to be placed in…physical custody of a parent who has a history of perpetrating family violence.”
  2. That the Court “shall make written findings to document…why the presumption was or was not triggered.
  3. That the presumption… be rebutted only by a preponderance of the evidence.
  4. That the six factors set forth in the statute be considered in determining whether the presumption was overcome. Miss. Code Ann. § 93-5-24 (9)(a)(iii)(1-6)  
    •  1.  Whether the perpetrator demonstrated that gaining custody …is in the best interest of the child because of the other parent’s absence, mental illness, substance abuse or such other circumstances;

    • 2.  Whether the perpetrator  completed a  treatment program;

    • 3.  Whether the perpetrator  completed  alcohol or drug abuse counseling;

    • 4.  Whether the perpetrator completed a parenting class;

    • 5.  If the perpetrator is on probation, whether he or she is restrained by order, and whether he  has complied with conditions; and

      6.  Whether the perpetrator has committed any further acts of domestic violence.

  5. That the Court “make written findings…why the presumption was or was not rebutted.”
  6.  That if both parents had a history of family violence, that custody “be awarded solely to the parent less likely to continue to perpetrate family violence.”
  7. That the Court “award visitationonly if the court finds that adequate provision for the safety of the child and the parent who is a victim can be made.”

It is error for the  Court to not address the statutory requirements upon a showing of family violence.  Lawrence v. Lawrence, 956 So.2d 251 (Miss. App. 2006).

It is clear that the statute applies to all child custody matters.  93-5-24 (9) applies to “every proceeding where the custody of a child is in dispute.” Id.   Additionally, the statute contains no requirement that a party ask for its application. Instead, the statute requires a mandatory duty to make findings as to whether or not the presumption was or was not triggered by the history of family violence.  Lawrence v. Lawrence, 956 So.2d 251 (Miss. App. 2006).

Matthew Thompson is a family law attorney in Mississippi and cautions clients that violence makes everything worse.

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