Tag Archives: lie

Child Custody, Crime, Divorce, Marriage, Opinion

How Do You Tell When a Lawyer is Lying?

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“His lips are moving.”

Perjury has been blogged about.

Never lie. (PERJURY)  You will get caught.  The truth is easy to remember.  Remember, usually, it’s not the crime but the cover-up that gets you.  The very affluent husband, with a great job, testified that he was unsure of his income, but knew his expenses down to the penny.  He testified under oath that his expenses exceeded his income by over $10,000 per month.  The problem?  He had no debt.  This situation of making $10,000 less than he was spending had been going on for months, if not years, but he always made payroll, carried no debt, had no loans and could not explain how this could be.  Perhaps he had a money tree out back.

Lying to your kids has, as well.

It never fails.  One of the aggrieved parties to a divorce tells the dirty details to the child regarding the other parent.  This is never appropriate or “ok.”  Never. Never to a young child. What about when….? No. Never.

But that parent, with their righteous indignation tells me, or testifies, “I do NOT lie to my child?”  My response?  “Well, what about the Tooth Fairy?“

The Top 5 Lies of Divorce clients are here.

5.  Lies about Income.

4.  Lies about their role within the Home.  

3.  Lies about Other Marital Fault.

2.  Lies about Value$.

1.  Lies about Adultery.

Matthew Thompson is a Divorce Attorney in Mississippi and encourages potential clients to tell your lawyer the truth!

Follow the blog:#BowTieLawyer Visit the website: #Thompson Law Firm  You may also contact Matthew with your family law matter or question at (601) 850-8000 or Matthew@bowtielawyer.ms

Divorce, General Legal, Modifications, Opinion

Lie Detectors! How Judges Know When YOU are Lying…

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The legal system relies on those persons within it to tell the truth.  All parties, the lawyers and judges are expected to be honest at all times!

When testifying a witnesses takes an oath.  This oath includes that they “swear or affirm the testimony you are about to give is the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help you God.”

However, this oath is sometimes nothing more than mere words to the witness. Here’s the scenario: A witness is testifying about their actions. On the day in question there are photographs showing him, in his truck, parking his truck and exiting his truck, placing him where he says he was not.

Q:  Whose truck is this?(shown a photo of his truck)

A:  I can’t tell from the picture.

Q:  Whose tag is this?(shown a photo of the tag)

A: Oh, that’s my wife’s truck.

Q:  Who drives that truck?

A: We both do.

Q: Who was driving it that day?

A: I don’t know what day…

Q: Look at the date stamp on the picture.

A: Oh…that day, that was me.

Q: It’s true isn’t it that you parked your truck in front of your exes driveway?

A: You can’t tell from the  picture whether I am parked or whether this is just a still shot of me driving by.

Q: This next photograph is of your truck with the driver’s door open and you getting out, correct?

A: Yes.

Q:  Who is that in that green t-shirt?

A:  I can’t tell from the picture who that is. (It’s him!)

Judges apply the smell test to determine your veracity, your truthfulness.  This fellow’s testimony did NOT pass the smell test.  He knew he was NOT telling the whole truth.  He lost his credibility on something seemingly trivial. Judges listen intently and judge you.  That is their job.  If you lie about little things or are “cute” with your answers then they may assume you’ll lie about big things.

Matthew Thompson is a Divorce Lawyer in Mississippi and recommends you tell the truth and nothing but the truth…but only answer what is asked.

Follow the blog: BowTieLawyer Visit the website: Thompson Law Firm

You may also contact Matthew with your family law case, question or concern at (601) 850-8000 or Matthew@bowtielawyer.ms.

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Child Custody, Divorce, General Legal, Irreconcilable differences, Marriage, Opinion

Lying Eyes & Other Signs of Lies and the People That Tell Them.

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If you’ve ever been involved in a family law case then you’ve dealt with someone lying.

Clients, witnesses and even lawyers sometimes lie.  It could be a little white lie or a huge whopper. A former CIA officer said to watch out for these cues that you might be being lied to;

  • The Eyes Tell the Tale.  When asked a question the witness looks up, closes their eyes or looks down, especially on a question they should know.
  • Shielding the Face.  When speaking the person have their hand in front of their eyes or mouth.
  • Verbal Answer/Body Language Disagree.  The best example of this was when the deponent was asked if she was having an affair.  She said, “No,” but shook her head Yes.  When confronted with this she spilled the beans.
  • The Delayed Response.  Some things you should not have to think about.
  • Fidgeting.  Messing with your hair, your cup, or your pen when answering.
  • Nose Grows.  Think Pinocchio.  Very rare*

Want to know more about lies and the people that tell them?  Try these;

Matthew Thompson is a Divorce Attorney in Mississippi and advises you to NEVER lie while under oath.

Follow the blog:#BowTieLawyer

 You may also contact Matthew with your family law matter or question at (601) 850-8000 

Divorce, General Legal

When to Have a “LIE” Ready to Go.

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It seems that in Family Law everybody lies…

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I have blogged on the Top 5 Lies of Divorce Clients, as well as It’s ok to Lie to your Children (sometimes). But, there are times where you should have a “lie” ready to go.

When are the Times When you NEED a Response Ready to Go?

  • When you are first meeting with the attorney and are not ready to disclose that to the other side.  Have a story ready. If you are a terrible liar also take a short shopping trip or have lunch with someone so you can truthfully say that is what you were doing.
  • When you are investigating/following/checking up on the other side.  Have a story ready for when you get spotted. I use several PIs for various aspects of what I do.  They always have a detailed, believable cover story ready to explain their presence.
  • When you are not ready to “Show your Cards.” The other side wants to create a ceiling for what you want out of the divorce and you are not ready to say what you want.  Have some response ready, however.

Should you lie? No.  Are there times when it is in your own best interest to do so? You better believe it! 

Matthew Thompson is a Family Law Attorney in Mississippi.  Follow the blog: #BowTieLawyer Visit the website: #Thompson Law Firm  You may also contact Matthew with your family law matter or question at (601) 850-8000 or Matthew@bowtielawyer.ms

Child Custody, Child Support, Crime, Divorce, Opinion

Never Do This in Court! (or This!)

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Court.  The most anxious, stress-filled, loss of control decision a person can make.  Even with careful preparation it can be unpleasant.  Without preparation it can be a nightmare!

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So what should you not do in Court?

  • Don’t argue with the Judge.   Even if the Judge is “wrong,” “mistaken,” or “backwards.”  Leave the arguing to the attorney.
  • Don’t argue with your attorney.  Short of catastrophic representation meltdown listen and heed your attorney’s advice.
  • Don’t argue with the other attorney.  Just answer the questions asked, explaining if necessary.  Personal jabs, smart-alleck responses and witty banter are not needed.

So that’s what you should not do, but what should you NEVER do?

  • Never give sassy responses to the Judge.  This is different from arguing. Oftentimes the Judge will have questions for the witnesses.  The responses and the manner given matter.  For instance, in a hearing where both parents sought custody and child support, the father said that he did “NOT need ANY child support nor ANY money to care for HIS kids…”  But, he then objected to having to pay any child support as he had limited income.  The Court made note of his inconsistency.
  • Never criticize the other parent for conduct that you also do.  On another occasion a parent was being especially critical of the other for “leaving” the children at day care all day and not picking them up until the “last-minute,” around 5:30.  Well, this parent had also just testified they were self-employed and could get the children at any time, because his schedule was so flexible, but did not.  This irked the Judge.
  • Never lie. (PERJURY)  You will get caught.  The truth is easy to remember. Remember, usually, it’s not the crime but the cover-up that gets you.  The very affluent husband, with a great job, testified that he was unsure of his income, but knew his expenses down to the penny.  He testified under oath that his expenses exceeded his income by over $10,000 per month.  The problem?  He had no debt. This situation of making $10,000 less than he was spending had been going on for months, if not years, but he always made payroll, carried no debt, had no loans and could not explain how this could be.  Perhaps he had a money tree out back.  The Judge imputed income and based his obligations on what he stated his expenses were and what apparently his income was.

Matthew Thompson is an Adjunct Professor- Domestic Relations at MC Law and a Family Law Lawyer.  Don’t do these things in Court if you know what’s good for you!

Follow the blog: BowTieLawyer Visit the website: Thompson Law FirmYou may also contact Matthew with your family law case, question or concern at (601) 850-8000 or Matthew@bowtielawyer.ms

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Food Related, General Legal

When it’s OK to LIE (or at least it should be)

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People lie.  Sometimes it’s little white lies, sometimes it’s big blatant lies and sometimes people lie just for the heck of it.  I have previously blogged on the Top 5 Lies of Divorce Clients, these are the lies attorney are told everyday for whatever reason.

But, when is it ok to lie?

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Well, the answer is that it is “ok” to lie when your spouse/significant other/soul-mate makes a special, home-cooked dinner, that required great time effort and trouble, and though it was not something you requested, nor would have requested and probably was not worth the effort, and in actuality tasted kind of funny…you may say that it was good.

Matthew Thompson is a family law attorney in Mississippi and cautions you that while it’s “ok” to lie about liking the dish, to not overdo it or you may end up getting it again!

Follow the blog: BowTieLawyer Visit the website: Thompson Law Firm

You may also contact Matthew with your family law case, question or concern at (601) 850-8000 or Matthew@wmtlawfirm.com.

Child Support, Divorce, General Legal, Marriage, Property Division

The Top 5 Lies of Divorce Clients

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There is an old lawyer joke… How do you tell when your client is lying to you?  When their lips are moving.  Lying to your lawyer is a really bad idea for multiple reasons.  It is primarily bad because advice can change based on the facts of your circumstance and if we, as the lawyer, do not know the facts our advice may not be right.  And the whole perjury thing is bad too.  Without further ado, here are the top 5 lies that clients tell.

  • 5.  Lies about Income.  
  • Clients that make a lot of money often understate their income.  Also, I have had clients say they make more than they do, I guess because of embarrassment.  It is a really bad idea to lie about income regardless of the reason.  The other party has the right to get pay records directly from your bank or employer and lying about making more than you do can result in you paying more than you owe.
  • 4.  Lies about their role within the Home.  
  • The husband comes in and says he does all of the cooking, cleaning, child rearing and otherwise paints himself as Martha Stewart, when he is more like Haagar the Horrible.  Out pillaging, but not big on household chores.  This matters because it effects the division of assets and has custody and alimony applications.
  • 3.  Lies about Other Marital Fault.
  • #3 is other marital fault because it is saving room for #1.  But this means that the client tells you about how awful the other party was.  How they were attacked or provoked and only reacted and defended themselves.  They “forgot” to mention the domestic violence conviction and the meth lab in the garage.  Oops.
  • 2.  Lies about Value$.
  • In a similar vein to lies about income, clients understate the value of investments, collectibles and businesses.  This can be very significant and a husband that misled the Court about the value of his privately owned business resulted in the wife coming back after the fact and getting more value when he had a falling out with a business partner.  Also, that 1953 Chevrolet Coupe is worth more than you are saying it is.
  • 1.  Lies about Adultery.
  • #1 for a reason.  It’s hard to admit when you are wrong.  By the way, “I didn’t have an affair, it was just a one-night stand,” is still an affair. It is adultery.  Lying about this can bumfoozle a legal strategy of trying to prevent the divorce.   If the other party has grounds against you and wants a divorce they can get it.  If you lie about it chances are you will eventually be caught.

These are just some of the lies told everyday.  It is important to tell your lawyer the truth, including the dirty details. It can make a difference in your case.

Matthew Thompson is a Divorce Attorney in Mississippi and encourages potential clients to tell your lawyer the truth!

Follow the blog:#BowTieLawyer 

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Child Custody, Crime, Divorce, Opinion

It’s “ok” to LIE to your Children.

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It never fails.  One of the aggrieved parties to a divorce tells the dirty details to the child regarding the other parent.  This is never appropriate or “ok.”  Never. Never to a young child. What about when….? No. Never.

But that parent, with their righteous indignation tells me, or testifies, “I do NOT lie to my child?”  My response?  “Well, what about the Tooth Fairy?“

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We lie to our children a lot.  A LiveScience.com article stated it better, “Parents Lie to Children Surprisingly Often.”  This article concluded that parent’s lie to protect their child and lie to preserve some semblance of innocence and childhood for their children.  These are all good things.

The Tooth Fairy question gets that indignant parent every time.  There is no good reason to spill the beans about the other parent’s misdeeds to the child.  You should be telling them that “mommy” loves them very much.  Not that she cares more about dancing on a pole with bikers than being a decent mom, even if it’s true.  When the kids are older they will realize the truth and appreciate you all the more for allowing them to have a childhood and to love their other parent, even if the other parent did not deserve it.

It’s okay to lie to your children.  Who says so? Me, a divorce attorney.

Disagree? Tell me why in comments or via email.

 

Matthew Thompson is a Child Custody Attorney in Mississippi and believes sometimes lying to your children is in their best interests.

Follow the blog:#BowTieLawyer Visit the website: #Thompson Law Firm  You may also contact Matthew with your family law matter or question at (601) 850-8000 or Matthew@bowtielawyer.ms