Tag Archives: No fault

Clarion-Ledger: Protecting families, or prolonging misery?

Protecting families, or prolonging misery?

Matthew Thompson is a Mississippi family law attorney and professor, and having difficult, drawn-out and costly divorces would be good for his pocketbook.

But Thompson supports reform and changes to divorce laws, “even though it’s against my own self interests.”

“The current laws make it expensive, and in some instances, impossible to get a divorce,” said Thompson, whose firm focuses on family law statewide and who is a professor teaching domestic relations at Mississippi College’s law school.

Thompson said the Legislature’s recent divorce law reform, removing a corroboration requirement for abused spouses, is a needed change.

“Our law has required cruelty claims be corroborated with evidence beyond that of the victim’s testimony,” Thompson said. “… Even if the court believed you, you had to have a neighbor, family member, police report or picture, or you didn’t have corroboration … Now, if the court finds the victim truthful and credible, the court can accept that. If you take a step back and think, that makes sense. Our judges have always been the lie detector, always the barometer of whether someone was credible.

“There is some form of abuse in a vast number of divorce cases,” Thompson said. “Not every one, but a lot of them. When you drill down and include physical, mental, emotional, verbal abuse — It’s a significant number of cases. We as human beings treat the people we are supposed to love the most the worst.”

Thompson said he supports Mississippi creating a “no-fault” ground for divorce. South Dakota is the only other state without such a ground. He said opposition to this change, from those saying it will weaken the sanctity of marriage and increase divorces, is misguided. In practice, Mississippi’s lack of a no-fault ground allows one spouse to hold up a divorce, sometimes for years.

“The idea behind making it difficult to get a divorce is that Mississippi is promoting marriage,” Thompson said. “But when you go 10 years and it costs tens of thousands of dollars — those aren’t intact families trying to get back together.

“Our law promotes divorce blackmail,” Thompson said. “… You have to pay what I say, or agree to what I want, or I won’t agree to a divorce … You have a fundamental, constitutional right to marriage, according to (a U.S. Supreme Court ruling). Shouldn’t you have a fundamental right to a divorce? I guess the counter to that is that you don’t have to get married.”

Thompson said some of the moral and religious arguments focused on divorce policies should be focused on the front-end, marriage policies.

“Our state has made it phenomenally easy to get into a marriage,” Thompson said. “There used to be a three-day wait, used to be a blood test requirement. But now you just go to the circuit clerk and pay $25.

“Studies show having mom and dad happily married and living together is what’s best for children and families,” Thompson said. “Having mom and dad get along and living separately would be second best. Mom and dad living together and fighting and being miserable, whether it’s violent or just cold war, that’s not the best. If this is really about protecting families, there are ways to do that, but still have an appropriate and reasonable means to get out of a marriage. It shouldn’t take a beating or physical violence to get there.”

Contact Geoff Pender at 601-961-7266 or gpender@gannett.com. Follow him on Twitter.

Why Putting Your Engagement on FaceBook May be a Bad Idea.

It seems our “lives” are lived on FaceBook, for better and for worse.

A short marriage came to an abrupt end when the parties realized that they did not really know each other. It was not a first marriage for either party, a whirlwind courtship and a tumultuous coupling that lead to separation after 9 months.

The husband sought an easy “no-fault” divorce. She would keep hers plus he pays her some starting over money, he keep his and they go their separate ways. She did not respond.

Well, she actually hired a lawyer and sued him for everything; a fault based divorce, 1/2 of the house, 1/2 of his retirement, that he buy her a car, permanent alimony, plus she retains all of her stuff. Again, all of this based on a 9 month marriage. It’s important to note that he had the house prior to marriage, the bulk of the retirement prior to marriage and the car was a lease that was to be turned in.

She was aggressive to a fault. She sought a temporary hearing and asked for temporary alimony. She didn’t get it. We then went through the discovery process. We sought records, arrest and otherwise.

Finally, a break through…she posted on FaceBook that she was engaged! To her Soulmate!

I sent her lawyer a note.  It said “Great news! I hear congratulations are in order. Your client has announced her engagement. Attached are the pictures she posted, plus a pic of an impressive engagement ring…it’s high time this case settle. Attached is our proposal to settle all issues. Please review, sign where indicated and return to me. In the event this does not resolve this matter we will be filing an Amended Answer and Counterclaim consistent with these revelations.

The case settled that day via an easy “no-fault” divorce. She kept hers plus he paid her some starting over money, he kept his and they went their separate ways.

Matthew Thompson is a Mississippi Divorce Attorney and is equally grateful and frustrated that FaceBook exists.

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When “NO FAULT” becomes “YO’ FAULT”

While Mississippi is technically not a true “No Fault” state, there are provisions for an Irreconcilable Differences divorce.  (commonly referred to as “No Fault”)

However, sometimes that agreement to a No Fault divorce doesn’t stick.  The parties, after getting over the initial shock of divorce, decide they will be adults and agree.  They think they can agree to the divorce and resolve their differences.   After all, they did manage to get along for most of 9 years, have two kids and bought a house.  What could go wrong?   They even searched online and looked at divorceyourself.com.

The No Fault agreement gets derailed when the Husband realizes he will have to pay 20% of his income towards child support, plus health insurance and alimony. He realizes it’s a lot of money. The Wife gets squirrely when she realizes that her half of the retirement account is consumed by balancing the equity in the house, or that the money she gets cannot be realized without significant tax consequences.

Parties to a divorce don’t realize child support is until 21 in Mississippi.  They don’t know the types of custody, or what each type means.  They agree to things that they cannot legally agree  to and fail to consider the consequences.

Finally, one party is convinced to see an attorney  and when they do they realize the consequences of what they were about to agree to and back out, the other side becomes angry and un-agrees too.  All of a sudden a simple divorce becomes complicated, expensive and adversarial.

Want to keep your situation from going from No Fault to Yo’ Fault? Have an assessment with an attorney that practices family law, keep the peace, and be smart.

Matthew Thompson is a family law attorney that can handle your divorce whether it’s your fault, their fault, or somebody else’s fault.

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