Tag Archives: visitation

Raising Arizona…in Mississippi.

01/31/2014 BowTieLawyer Leave a comment

Believe it or not Arizona is on the forefront of co-parenting and custody arrangements. The plans and resources available to parent’s do a better job of serving the best interest of the child over some other State’s one-size-fits-all approach to custody and visitation!

The Arizona Supreme Court website has a “Planning for Parenting Time – Arizona’s Guide for Parents Living Apart” which has numerous schedules, options and ideas for parents with children who are no longer living together.

There are schedules that are age-dependent, meaning the custody times are specifically catered to the age and needs of the child, from infant to the teen years. There are schedules for when mom and dad are “high conflict,” suggesting the exchanges be at school or daycare so mom and dad don’t actually see each other. There are schedules for when the parents live great distances from one another and for when they are in the same community. There are more 1) traditional schedules, 2) week-on, week-off, 3) 5-2-2-5, 4) 3-4-4-3, and 5) provisions for a unique and completely custom schedule based on what you need.

If your goal is truly the best interest of the child, take a page from the Arizona parenting guide and consider what is best for your child when determining custody Every other weekend is slowly going by the wayside.

Matthew Thompson is a Child Custody attorney and encourages solutions specific to you and not what your neighbor’s friend’s cousin got.

Follow the blog: #BowTieLawyer Visit the website: #Thompson Law Firm. You may also contact Matthew with your family law case, question or concern at (601) 850-8000 or Matthew@bowtielawyer.ms

Child Custody, Divorce, General Legal, Visitation

Stay “Connected” to Your Kids.

01/22/2014 BowTieLawyer Leave a comment

Hello? How are you? I miss you! I love you!

That’s it. If you do nothing else your kids will know that you are thinking about them, that you love them, miss them and desire a relationship. Too often, in divorce/custody settings, it is easy to fall into the trap of “it’s not my time.” This trap allows days and sometimes weeks go by with little to no communication. Sometimes the other parent contributes to this or directly interferes, but you should attempt to do it anyway.

Call, email, text, FaceTime, Skype, send letters, cards, gift cards, and small gifts or trinkets. It does not have to be expensive, an occasion or ” your time.”

Matthew Thompson is a Family Law & Divorce Attorney in the Hospitality State. Be sure and show your child your hospitality!

Follow the blog: BowTieLawyer Visit the website: Thompson Law Firm. You may also contact Matthew with your family law case, question or concern at (601) 850-8000 or Matthew@bowtielawyer.ms

Child Custody, Child Support, Divorce, Visitation

A Parent’s #1 Obligation

01/21/2014 BowTieLawyer Leave a comment

A parent has a moral and legal duty to promote a healthy, affectionate relationship between the child and the other parent!

family-law-changes

What? You justify your conduct by saying, “I am not bad-mouthing him.” But, just not bad-mouthing him is not enough. You have an affirmative duty to promote a good relationship. (with rare exceptions for the health and safety of the child.)

Encourage, promote and truly desire a good relationship between your child and the other parent. Your child will benefit!

Matthew Thompson is a Family Law & Divorce Attorney and reminds you that a child with two parents that get along and are involved is better than the alternative.

Follow the blog: BowTieLawyer Visit the website: Thompson Law Firm. You may also contact Matthew with your family law case, question or concern at (601) 850-8000 or Matthew@bowtielawyer.ms

Child Custody, Child Support, Divorce, Grandparent Visitation, Visitation

Put Your Children First.

07/30/2013 BowTieLawyer 1 Comment

Divorcing spouses make it about themselves. How he “threw it all away” or how she “abandoned the marriage.” But, when children are in the equation they need to be First.

I know of too many instances where the children are treated as pawns. One parent uses the other parent’s time or access to the children to get more of what they want or are just difficult for the sake of being difficult. A parent refusing to allow the other parent to see the child for strategic reasons is just wrong.

Okay your husband strayed, does that mean he does not deserve to see the children? Too often the parent that has the child is tempted to play “keep away.” If your wife is a floozy that does not mean the children do not need their mother?

In all instances where there are NOT genuine safety concerns that parent should have access and see the children as much as practical. Period. What’s the best thing you can do for your child?

Put your children first. Make sure the other parent has quality time and access to the children. If dad was not an every other weekend dad before the divorce, who is served by him becoming one after the divorce?

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You may also contact Matthew with your family law case, question or concern at (601) 850-8000 or Matthew@bowtielawyer.ms.

Child Custody, Child Support, Divorce, General Legal, Modifications, Visitation

Riding the Wave – “Coping” with Family, Law and Family Law

07/08/2013 BowTieLawyer Leave a comment

One of the best pieces of advice is to “ride the wave.” In family law, such as life, adversity is a given. How you respond is the key.

How you choose to deal with that adversity will directly contribute to the results you get. Oftentimes it is a common reaction to fight fire with fire, and we all know the eye for an eye sentiment, but that may not be the best response. I have previously blogged on dealing with stress and uncertainty. This one is a little different. It is not so much how to cope, but to try to use the adversity to your advantage.

A great example was when I was faced with a young father being sued for an increase in child support. He had experienced an increase in income and was really starting to enjoy life. The ex sued him and he viewed this as ‘just his luck.’ I explained that she may be entitled to a child support increase, that he was paying a very low amount from a previous order, that some time had passed since last being in Court and that an increase was due. As I discussed his situation he disclosed some frustration with the visitation schedule. How his new job, while paying well made the current schedule difficult to work and the ex was not too easy to get along with. I told him that since we are “going to court” that we should seek a visitation modification. He did not want to make things worse. I told him it would not. Ultimately, an increase in support was negotiated along with a visitation schedule change that allowed him more time.

He rode the wave, sure it cost more money, but that is what the law requires once you subject yourself to the Court system. He used the adversity to get a better result.

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You may also contact Matthew with your family law case, question or concern at (601) 850-8000 or Matthew@bowtielawyer.ms.

Child Custody, Opinion, Visitation

-Every Other Weekend- It’s not just the weekends anymore.

06/06/2013 BowTieLawyer 3 Comments

“Standard” visitation is a term thrown around by lawyers and the Courts, but there is no such thing in Mississippi.

Having said that, Judges do have a standard visitation schedule. Confused yet?

Standard visitation is thought of as every other weekend, from Friday at 6:00 pm until Sunday at 6:00 pm. It includes Wednesday afternoons from 4:00 pm to 7:00 pm during those weeks a parent does not have weekend visitation, and 4 weeks in the summer (non-consecutive), and alternating major holidays.

One of the most difficult things to explain to a divorcing parent who will no longer be living with their children is that they may not be able to see the children anytime they want to. This is disturbing to me, to them and it should be to the Courts. That just because a mom and dad are getting a divorce that they can no longer live with or be with their children a substantial amount of time.

I encourage generous and liberal visitation. I encourage joint custody, but acknowledge there are circumstances where it is not best. Also, there are some parents that don’t want it. Every other weekend is fine. The parent can work and go out and have a life and then have a fun weekend with the kids, while the other parent is harping on them about grades, homework, bedtime and being well-behaved. It seems there is always a “Disney Dad,” that has elaborate trips and fun planned for his weekend, while the full-time mom is making egg-carton planters, explaining the wonders of growing bell peppers from seeds.

So what do you do? Be reasonable. Look for ways to allow the other parent to actually parent. Click here for the best thing you can do for your child! If you are on the receiving end of every other weekend, seek more. Ask for it. There is a trend in the law where non-custodial parents, usually dads, are getting more time. In fact, in Rankin County Mississippi there is a judge who regularly awards every other weekend, but defines it as Wednesday to Monday every other weekend. The pick-ups and drop-offs are at school. There is less opportunity for mom and dad to have contact and typically less conflict. It affords a non-custodial parent a lot time. This may not be right in every situation, but it is better than the alternative, usually.

Matthew Thompson is a family law attorney in Mississippi and thinks parents should continue to be parents even if they are no longer living together.

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Child Custody, Divorce, General Legal, Irreconcilable differences, Marriage, Visitation

Happy Mother’s Day!

05/12/2013 BowTieLawyer Leave a comment

Mother’s are the most important influence in a child’s life. A mom’s job is never done and frequently is under-appreciated, overworked and underpaid, except maybe “fringe” benefits.

The modern holiday of Mother’s Day was first celebrated in 1908, when Anna Jarvis held a memorial for her mother in West Virginia. Jarvis began a campaign to make “Mother’s Day” a recognized holiday in the United States. Officially Mother’s Day was first celebrated in 1914. This holiday was adopted by other countries and it is now celebrated all over the world. – Wikipedia

Mother’s Day is also routinely addressed in Custody and Visitation schedules. Under most Orders, Mom gets Mother’s Day regardless of whose weekend it is and it can include either the day or the entire weekend. In the few instances where this is overlooked, I still encourage dad to allow mom this time to be with the children.

Matthew Thompson is a family law attorney in Mississippi and wishes all the Mothers in his life Happy Mother’s Day!

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You may also contact Matthew with your family law case, question or concern at (601) 850-8000 or Matthew@wmtlawfirm.com.

Child Custody, Divorce, General Legal, Visitation

Want a Happy Birthday?! Don’t Forget this “Holiday.”

03/12/2013 BowTieLawyer 1 Comment

Happy Birthday! is something we all look forward to sharing with our children. But, is this day saved in your Divorce Agreement?

Bday 2 — Happy Birthday/ BowTiePublishing

I have previously blogged on the “forgotten holidays” (Halloween, labor day) and visitation schedules. Birthdays are also often overlooked at times of divorce. A Court’s standard visitation does not include, specifically, children’s birthdays so it is up to you, as an attorney or client, to remember the dates that matter.

In most of my Agreements the child’s birthday is specifically considered. The following is an example.

The Father shall have custody of the minor child, at least, as the following times… “On the child’s birthday in odd-numbered years, from 8:00 a.m. until 2:00 p.m., and from 2:00 p.m. until 8:00 p.m. in even-numbered years, or all other times as mutually agreed upon by the parties. The child shall be with the Mother on her birthday, including overnight, and with the Father on his birthday, including overnight.

Some alternative language is as follows;

The parents shall cooperate on each child’s birthday and shall plan to attend and pay for the child’s birthday party on an equal and reasonable basis. However, if the parents are unable to agree, then notwithstanding which parent has physical custody on the child’s birthday, the parent not having physical custody of the child on her birthday shall have the opportunity to celebrate the birthday with that child from 4:00 p.m. until 7:00 p.m. on her birthday.

None of the above language is perfect for every circumstance and the fact that it must be included could be an indicator that mom and dad are not working together in the child’s best interest. Also, parties can disagree on how to “cooperate” and what is “reasonable.” However, if you are dealing with a battle-axe it’s much better to have specific language and not need, than to need it and no have it.

Matthew Thompson is a Family Law attorney and wishes Claire a happy, happy, happy birthday!

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You may also contact Matthew with your family law case, question or concern at (601) 850-8000 or Matthew@wmtlawfirm.com.