Child Custody, Divorce, General Legal, Opinion

Don’t Bring Your Child to the Divorce Lawyer Meeting.

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Things happen. I get that.  But, generally speaking you should not bring your child to your first meeting with the divorce attorney.

The first meeting with the divorce attorney is tough, emotional and can be embarrassing.  At least, you could be discussing potentially embarrassing and confidential matters.  This is no place for small children.  They will be bored, hungry, thirsty, have to use the bathroom, and will break things in the office.  They will eat all of the candy in the dish, touch all the nick-knacks, and if their sibling is there a fight will ensue.  They will be loud, hot, cold, sleepy, wired, angry and goodness only knows what they will overhear and repeat at the most inopportune time.

Attorneys probably take for granted that the client knows not to bring their children to the meeting.   Don’t.  I try to make sure the client has thought about not bringing the children to the meeting.  It is genuinely rare that there is no other option.  So, if you are a client the only time to take the children is when the attorney requests it.  Otherwise, do NOT take your children to the meeting.  If there is no other choice, reschedule.  If you cannot reschedule, let the attorney know that you must bring your children and bring another adult to watch the children.

Matthew Thompson is a Family Law attorney and implores you to please NOT bring your children to the meeting with the lawyer.

Follow the blog: BowTieLawyer Visit the website: Thompson Law Firm

You may also contact Matthew with your family law case, question or concern at (601) 850-8000 or Matthew@bowtielawyer.ms.

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Child Custody, Divorce, General Legal, Marriage, Modifications, Opinion

5 More What NOT To-Dos in Family Law

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I have blogged on FaceBook Don’ts several times.  5 Family Law FaceBook Don’ts & 5 More FaceBook Don’ts.  This one is a little more general, but are still things NOT to do in Family Law matters.

  • Don’t Follow Bad Advice Blindly.  If your attorney advises you to break into the house and take everything, including the dishwasher and the stove, think twice. Who does that? Who gives that advice? How could a Judge ever think that was a good thing? Click here for more. Bad Advice = Bad Lawyer.
  • Don’t Make it a WAR if you Don’t Have to. It only makes the lawyers more money.  You get less. Go to WAR only when it is absolutely necessary. Life and safety.
  • Don’t Solely Blame the Other Side. This piece is sometimes tough to swallow. That SOB you married may be mostly at fault, and sometimes completely at fault, but it’s rare that it is one side’s fault 100%. Acknowledging your culpability, at least to yourself, will help you process what you are going through.
  • Don’t Bad Mouth the Other Parent. It may be true. He may deserve it. You may tell the Judge, your counselor and your lawyer. No one else needs to know.
  • Don’t Forward the Children Communications Between you and the Other Parent. This is so inappropriate. Placing the children in the middle of a parental dispute is a classic symptom of parental alienation. If you are doing this you better watch out. You may not be able to stop the advice given in number 2, above.

Matthew Thompson is a Family Law attorney and tries to give good advice.  It may still not be easy to follow, but it is designed to create less havoc, not more, usually.

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Child Custody, Child Support, Crime, Divorce, General Legal, Marriage, Modifications, Opinion

What’s the Right Answer? (Family Law Conundrums)

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Basic Family Law 101: (in most instances)

zicornicusso/freedigital photos.net

If you don’t know what the “right” legal answer is, do what’s “right,” and you’ll be fine.

-Matthew Thompson

Matthew Thompson is a Family Law Attorney in Mississippi.  That is all.

Follow the blog: BowTieLawyer Visit the website: Thompson Law Firm

You may also contact Matthew with your family law case, question or concern at (601) 850-8000 or Matthew@bowtielawyer.ms

Crime, Divorce, General Legal, Opinion

When to Call the Police!

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Family law cases can be very difficult, some even dangerous.  There is a saying that Criminal Law cases, after the arrest, involve bad people who are acting their best, and Family Law cases involve good people who are acting their worst.  So when does acting their worst warrant calling the Police/911?

  • Any Physical Abuse.  This is a crime. Get yourself and the kids, get out of there and call 911.  You will not lose the house just because you “left.” It’s not kidnapping to take the kids to safety. Do NOT tolerate Domestic Violence!
  • Believed Threats.  If your life is threatened, or serious bodily harm is threatened and you believe it, leave and call the police.  Now, sometimes people say stupid things and if he says something, but you don’t believe it or it’s sarcastic or a failed attempt at humor don’t try to make it more than it is.
  • Trespassing and Refusal to Leave.  If you have an Order that gives you exclusive use of the house and he comes over and refuses to leave the police will make him or he can be arrested for trespass.  If it is someone else’s property and she is asked to leave, whether there is an Order or not, and refuses that is trespass.  Make sure you have a copy of the Order if you intend to seek that it be enforced.
  • Criminal Activity.  Drunk driving, illegal drug use, activity that is dangerous to others.
  • Serious Injury/Emergencies.  In the event of serious injury, whether intentional, accident or otherwise,do NOT hesitate because of “how it would look.” Call 911.

Law enforcement, generally, does not like getting involved in civil, domestic situations.  They much prefer the lawyers and judges to sort these things out. And, when there is no Order, or no clear violation, they have to tread very carefully when they do get involved.  Because of this, they look to who is the instigator, who is causing the trouble, and try to get that person to leave, to calm down, to end the dispute.  It is also somewhat common for law enforcement to threaten the arrest of both parties when it’s a domestic call with no clear instigator.

One thing to be careful of is false calling, this can backfire.  Calling when there is not a legitimate reason to does not “build” a strong case for divorce.  However, if there is any abuse, or a genuine threat, ALWAYS err on the side of caution and call the Police/911.  In a true emergency do NOT call your lawyer first, call 911.

Matthew Thompson is a family law attorney in Mississippi and if you find yourself in an Emergency call 911.

Follow the blog: BowTieLawyer 

Divorce, General Legal, Opinion

One Stop Shopping! (Don’t Stop Here…)

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Matthew Thompson is a family law attorney in Mississippi and if you find yourself frequenting any of these places more than absolutely necessary…MOVE!

Follow the blog: BowTieLawyer Visit the website: Thompson Law Firm

You may also contact Matthew with your family law case, question or concern at (601) 850-8000 or Matthew@bowtielawyer.ms

Divorce, General Legal, Opinion

Don’t Hate.(At least not in public or a documentable fashion)

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In family law it is easy to lose your cool.  It is easy to react, to lash out and to tell that good-for-nothing so-and-so just what you think. But, don’t!

Stuart Miles/freedigital photos.net

No good comes from telling him off.  There is no use in demonstrating how crazy she is. She won’t change and if it’s coming from you it’s probably a dirty trick. At least she thinks so.

The urge to send that hateful text or email is strong, but you cannot take it back once you do.  You figure, well he is a “SOB,” or she is “CRAZY!”  But emailing, texting or screaming at the other party brings you down to their level.  Sometimes in divorce the high road is lonely and not fun, but take it anyway. It serves your needs.  And sometimes there is no high road, just lesser degrees of the low road.

This is tough advice to give and harder advice to take.  But remember, every email and text is being reviewed, saved and printed.  It is much easier to not send the hate than to try to explain to the judge why you sent 35 messages of what terrible a human being the other person is, while trying to argue that you are the reasonable one in the relationship.

Examples of what  NOT to send;

“I H8 U!”                                        “F#(% YOU”

“DIE!!!!”                        “I never LOVED U!!!”

“You can have everything.”                    “I don’t want nothing!!”

More on what not to do; 5 FaceBook Don’ts and  5 more FaceBook Don’ts.

So, who can you complain to?  Your mother, lawyer, counselor or any of the three.  No one else, though.

Matthew Thompson is a family law attorney in Mississippi and suggest that you NOT send that hate-filled message. It may come back to haunt you.

Follow the blog: BowTieLawyer Visit the website: Thompson Law Firm

You may also contact Matthew with your family law case, question or concern at (601) 850-8000 or Matthew@bowtielawyer.ms

Child Custody, Opinion, Visitation

-Every Other Weekend- It’s not just the weekends anymore.

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“Standard” visitation is a term thrown around by lawyers and the Courts, but there is no such thing in Mississippi.

Having said that, Judges do have a standard visitation schedule.  Confused yet?

Standard visitation is thought of as every other weekend, from Friday at 6:00 pm until Sunday at 6:00 pm.  It  includes Wednesday afternoons from 4:00 pm to 7:00 pm during those weeks a parent does not have weekend visitation, and 4 weeks in the summer (non-consecutive), and alternating major holidays.

One of the most difficult things to explain to a divorcing parent who will no longer be living with their children is that they may not be able to see the children anytime they want to.  This is disturbing to me, to them and it should be to the Courts.  That just because a mom and dad are getting a divorce that they can no longer live with or be with their children a substantial amount of time.

I encourage generous and liberal visitation. I encourage joint custody, but acknowledge there are circumstances where it is not best.  Also, there are some parents that don’t want it.  Every other weekend is fine.  The parent can work and go out and have a life and then have a fun weekend with the kids, while the other parent is harping on them about grades, homework, bedtime and being well-behaved.  It seems there is always a “Disney Dad,” that has elaborate trips and fun planned for his weekend, while the full-time mom is making egg-carton planters, explaining the wonders of growing bell peppers from seeds.

So what do you do?  Be reasonable.  Look for ways to allow the other parent to actually parent. Click here for the best thing you can do for your child! If you are on the receiving end of every other weekend, seek more. Ask for it.  There is a trend in the law where non-custodial parents, usually dads, are getting more time.  In fact, in Rankin County Mississippi there is a judge who regularly awards every other weekend, but defines it as Wednesday to Monday every other weekend.  The pick-ups and drop-offs are at school.  There is less opportunity for mom and dad to have contact and typically less conflict.  It affords a non-custodial parent a lot time.  This may not be right in every situation, but it is better than the alternative, usually.

Matthew Thompson is a family law attorney in Mississippi and thinks parents should continue to be parents even if they are no longer living together.

Follow the blog: BowTieLawyer Visit the website: Thompson Law Firm

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Child Custody, Divorce, General Legal

No Jury, No Problem.

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The right to a speedy trial by an impartial jury of your peers is guaranteed by the Constitution via the 6th Amendment, but only in Criminal matters.  Divorce and custody are considered civil matters and you will NOT have a Jury.

It’s a common question of what will the jury think of me.  They won’t.  All divorce, child custody and most every matter in Chancery Courts are “bench trials.”  That means the Judge is the trier of fact and determines the witness’s credibility and applies the law to the facts to determine the outcome.  A bench trial is a Judge trial.

As an aside, there is one instance of a jury trial in Chancery Court.  In a Will contest, if requested, the parties may have a jury trial.  A lot of the Chancery Courtrooms don’t even have a jury box, as a jury trial in Chancery Court is exceedingly rare.

Matthew Thompson is a family law attorney in Mississippi.  You will not be entitled to a jury of your peers in a divorce case.

Follow the blog: BowTieLawyer Visit the website: Thompson Law Firm

You may also contact Matthew with your family law case, question or concern at (601) 850-8000 or Matthew@wmtlawfirm.com.

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