Tag Archives: abuse

Child Custody, Crime, Divorce

How to Leave a Bad Situation.

Leave a comment

It’s all to common that I encounter someone in an abusive relationship.  The getting out is the hard part.

divorce

It’s usually best to prepare to leave. If possible;

  • Make sure the Children are safe.
  • See a Lawyer.
  • Have some cash.
  • Get valuables, papers and irreplaceables.
  • Get out.

Sometimes it’s not possible to prepare.

  • Get Children
  • Get Out
  • Call the Police
  • IN this Order.

Domestic Violence is real, knows no class boundaries and happens.

Don’t accept it.

Matthew Thompson is a Chancery Court Attorney in Mississippi and advises victims of Domestic Violence to seek protection and press charges.

Follow the blog: BowTieLawyer Visit the website: Thompson Law Firm

You may also contact Matthew with your family law case, question or concern at (601) 850-8000 or Matthew@bowtielawyer.ms.

black bow

alienation, Child Custody, Child Support

Don’t be a Rotten Parent

3 Comments

Rotten (adjective, rot·ten·er, rot·ten·est.)

1. decomposing or decaying; putrid; tainted, foul, or bad-smelling.
2. corrupt or morally offensive.
3. wretchedly bad, unpleasant, or unsatisfactory; 
miserable: a rotten piece of work; a rotten day at the office.
4. contemptible; despicable: a rotten little liar; a rotten trick.

Parenting is hard. Co-parenting even more-so especially with the one other person on the planet that you despise the most, but it MUST be done. Rotten parents, unfortunately, exist and some even thrive at their rottenness.  Seldom, it seems, are they actually held accountable for their conduct.

What is Rotten parenting?

  1. Bad mouthing the other parent to the child.
  2. Bad mouthing the child.
  3. Being unreasonable in your demands to spend time with the child.
  4. Being unreasonable in the other parent’s requests for additional time.
  5. Unreasonably interfering with the child’s schedule.
  6. Creating an unreasonable schedule for the child to interfere with the other parent’s time.
  7. Making false abuse allegations.
  8. Perpetrating abuse against the child and/other parent.
  9. Using finances to the detriment of the child.

So, what do you do as a “non-rotten” parent?  You keep doing the right things. Every time. It’s what is best for your child.  And when it’s bad enough, take action and follow it through.

Matthew Thompson is a Child Custody attorney and warns against rotten parenting.

Follow the blog: #BowTieLawyer . You may also contact Matthew with your family law case, question or concern at (601) 850-8000 or Matthew@bowtielawyer.ms

img_6390

Child Custody, Child Support, Crime, Divorce, General Legal, Opinion

How to be a TERRIBLE Person. (11 specific ways you can be mean & hateful.)

5 Comments

In my profession I get to see a lot of what not to do almost, every day; from videos, texts, and emails to actions and sometimes inaction.

So, I have compiled a list of what terrible people do.  If you want to be terrible do these things, in no particular order.

  • Curse and scream at your spouse, as loud as you can, as often as you can.
  • Curse and scream at your children.
  • Make false abuse claims.
  • Lie about the false abuse claims even when it’s clear they are false.
  • Bad-mouth your child’s other parent to the child.  (Hey, it’s the truth, right!)
  • Interfere with their time with the child.  Just do it.  Sure it hurts your child too, that’s what makes it even more terrible.
  • Abuse your spouse or child. (Any form – all are terrible, some more-so than others.)
  • Refuse to support your family.
  • File suit when your ex paid 5 days late, even though they told you. It’s the principal, right?
  • Threaten to make public private images. (and mean it when you say it, at least in the moment.)
  • Refuse Christmas visitation.  Just because.

There you have it, 11 mean, hate-filled things that you can do to be terrible.

“Oh, and if you don’t want to be terrible don’t do these things.” – Matthew Thompson

Matthew Thompson is a Family Law Attorney in Mississippi and tries not to do terrible things or give terrible advice.

Follow the blog: BowTieLawyer . You may also contact Matthew with your family law case, question or concern at (601) 850-8000 or Matthew@bowtielawyer.ms

img_6390

Crime, Divorce, General Legal, Opinion

When to Call the Police!

2 Comments

Family law cases can be very difficult, some even dangerous.  There is a saying that Criminal Law cases, after the arrest, involve bad people who are acting their best, and Family Law cases involve good people who are acting their worst.  So when does acting their worst warrant calling the Police/911?

  • Any Physical Abuse.  This is a crime. Get yourself and the kids, get out of there and call 911.  You will not lose the house just because you “left.” It’s not kidnapping to take the kids to safety. Do NOT tolerate Domestic Violence!
  • Believed Threats.  If your life is threatened, or serious bodily harm is threatened and you believe it, leave and call the police.  Now, sometimes people say stupid things and if he says something, but you don’t believe it or it’s sarcastic or a failed attempt at humor don’t try to make it more than it is.
  • Trespassing and Refusal to Leave.  If you have an Order that gives you exclusive use of the house and he comes over and refuses to leave the police will make him or he can be arrested for trespass.  If it is someone else’s property and she is asked to leave, whether there is an Order or not, and refuses that is trespass.  Make sure you have a copy of the Order if you intend to seek that it be enforced.
  • Criminal Activity.  Drunk driving, illegal drug use, activity that is dangerous to others.
  • Serious Injury/Emergencies.  In the event of serious injury, whether intentional, accident or otherwise,do NOT hesitate because of “how it would look.” Call 911.

Law enforcement, generally, does not like getting involved in civil, domestic situations.  They much prefer the lawyers and judges to sort these things out. And, when there is no Order, or no clear violation, they have to tread very carefully when they do get involved.  Because of this, they look to who is the instigator, who is causing the trouble, and try to get that person to leave, to calm down, to end the dispute.  It is also somewhat common for law enforcement to threaten the arrest of both parties when it’s a domestic call with no clear instigator.

One thing to be careful of is false calling, this can backfire.  Calling when there is not a legitimate reason to does not “build” a strong case for divorce.  However, if there is any abuse, or a genuine threat, ALWAYS err on the side of caution and call the Police/911.  In a true emergency do NOT call your lawyer first, call 911.

Matthew Thompson is a family law attorney in Mississippi and if you find yourself in an Emergency call 911.

Follow the blog: BowTieLawyer 

Child Custody, Divorce, General Legal, Opinion, Visitation

Emergency! The 411 on 911 in Court

2 Comments

I get the call, at least, weekly.  It is an EMERGENCY!  I have to get into Court yesterday to solve some critical issue.  However, once I start asking questions the emergency is more like an inconvenience.

For Court purposes, think of an emergency as being a true emergency; danger of life or limb, or the immediate threat of imminent and irreparable harm.

The Court judges emergencies on a case by case basis to make sure they have merit.  Some examples  of emergencies include;

  • when the custodial parent refuses life saving medical treatment, against medical advice
  • when one parent absconds with a child, it’s not “their” time and refuses all contact
  • when a parent is using illegal drugs in the presence of the child and/or exposing the child to that lifestyle
  • is abusing the child
  • is neglecting the child

Some examples of non-emergencies, at least for Court purposes;

  • is 15 minutes late for a pick-up or a drop-off, even multiple times
  • stops paying the house mortgage
  • forgot to give the recommended dose of antibiotics
  • returns the child in the same clothes that he was dropped off in
  • returns the child with a scratch or bruise caused by kids being kids

Emergencies are quite often judgment calls and the Judges treat these seriously when they are serious and are nonplussed when a lawyer files an Emergency Petition over a non-urgent circumstance.  The Judges are also somewhat on guard against persons using ERs for tactical advantage and this can and does backfire on the petitioner if it is not a true emergency.

Matthew Thompson is a family law attorney in Mississippi and is careful on the draw about declaring emergencies.

Follow the blog: BowTieLawyer 

You may also contact Matthew with your family law case, question or concern at (601) 850-8000 or Matthew@BowTieLawyer.ms

img_6390

Child Custody, Divorce

Guardian Ad Litems – Representing Children in Court

4 Comments

The Judge’s job in a custody/divorce case is  to determine the best interests of the children when mom and dad are fighting. The Judge considers mom’s testimony and evidence as well as dad’s and even the children’s testimony (clickable).  But there is also another implement in the tool box of information available to the Court, the Guardian Ad Litem (GAL).

imgres.jpg

A GAL is a person, usually a lawyer, appointed by the Court to take on one of two roles.

1) The first of these is to be an Attorney for the Children.  To represent the child in the same capacity any attorney would represent a client, with the same duties, obligations and confidences that every attorney owes to each client.  This role is fairly uncommon in custody/divorce actions.

2) The much more common role is that of Investigator for the Court.  Judge’s routinely appoint an attorney to serve as the Court’s eyes and ears on the ground.  Judge’s are limited to what they can hear.

They are limited by time constraints, objections, admissibility issues, and lawyer’s abilities.  A GAL appointed by the Court as an Investigator has much more readily available access to information.  

  • GALs interview mom, dad and the children.
  • They can interview teachers, doctors, counselors, friends, and coaches.  
  • They can practically speak to anyone they think they need to.  
  • A GAL can inspect the home where the children stay and can do so unannounced.  
  • GALs can pay surprise visits.  
  • GALs can access school records, medical records, counseling records.  
  • GALs can request medical evaluations and even psychological evaluations.  
  • GALs, by and large, can do what is necessary to get to the bottom of the issues in a case.

So why does every case NOT have a GAL? 

1) They are only required in abuse/neglect cases, otherwise it is discretionary. The Court may not allow for a GAL.

2) It adds another layer of expense, another attorney to pay.  The Court usually makes both parties pay.

3) It can create delay.  The GAL may ask for more time to conduct the investigation and scheduling trial depends on another lawyer’s calendar.

4) The GAL may not believe you.  They are human and may believe the other parent over you, plus you may be lying to them.  It adds risk.

5) They may not do a good job.

GALs typically prepare a report that is provided to the Court and both lawyers. It recounts their efforts, interviews, documents reviewed and conclusions drawn.  The GAL report also includes recommendations, usually.  The Court is not required to follow the GAL recommendation.

Guardian Ad Litems can be a critically important tool available to the Court or parties in a contested custody battle, but the involvement of a GAL also has risks and expenses associated too.  Talk to your lawyer if you have concerns about abuse/neglect and whether a GAL may help in your case.

Matthew Thompson is a family law attorney that has served as a GAL and has handled numerous cases involving GALs.  He has seen the good, the bad and the ugly.  He also conducts GAL training sessions at Continuing Legal Education Seminars for  lawyers that want o become certified GALs;  topics include conducting GAL Custody Evaluations, GAL Investigations, GAL Reports and Testifying.

Follow the blog: BowTieLawyer    Visit the website: Thompson Law Firm

You may also contact Matthew with your family law case, question or concern at (601) 850-8000 or Matthew@bowtielawyer.ms.