Tag Archives: custody

Child Testimony, the Court and YOU

A child testifying is an often discussed issue between parents and attorneys in child custody cases.

When parents are getting a divorce the child usually knows more than their parents think. The child most likely witnessed fights, bad conduct and sometimes even dangerous conduct.

In Mississippi law, the leading authority is Jethrow vs. Jethrow, 571 So.2d 270 (Miss. 1990). This case lays the groundwork that the Court should use when assessing child testimony. The basic premise is, as follows;

  • A child witnesses of tender years*, 12 and under for testimony purposes, testifying is subject to the discretion of the Judge. (*this tender years is different than the “tender years” doctrine favoring a mother when a child is very young, under 2-3).
  • Before allowing such testimony the Judge “should satisfy himself that the child has the ability to perceive and remember events, to understand and answer questions intelligently, and to comprehend and accept the importance of truthfulness.”

Before excluding the testimony of a child witness of tender years in a divorce proceeding, the chancellor at a minimum should follow the procedure required by Crownover v. Crownover, 33 Ill.App.3rd 327, 337 N.E.2d 56 (1975):

  • The first hurdle is whether the child is competent to testify.
  • The Judge should confer in camera (meaning in the Judge’s chambers/office) with the child and determine whether or not the child’s testimony should be heard
  • The Judge has considerable discretion in conducting proceedings of this type, meaning it’s a judgment call.
  • The court should not, however, reject outright proposed testimony of a child in custody proceedings, where the omission of such crucial testimony might be harmful to the child’s best interests.
  • The trial court should take great pains to have an in camera conference with the child to determine the competency of the child,
  • and determine the competency of any evidence which the child might present.
  • The court should determine whether the best interests of the child would be served by permitting her to testify, or
  • Whether the child should be sheltered from testifying and being subjected to a vigorous cross-examination.
  • The Judge should report the essential material matters developed at the in camera conference on the record.
  • The Court should state the reasons for allowing or disallowing the testimony of the child, and
  • The Court should note the factual information which the court developed from the conference with the child which would be considered by the court in its ultimate determinations in the case.

Generally, the testimony of a child called as a witness in a divorce case should not be excluded for reasons other than competency, or evidentiary defects, or for the protection of the child. (24 Am.Jur.2d, Divorce and Separation, A 415). There should not be a summary refusal to inquire as to the competency of the child to testify and also of the competency of the proposed testimony of such child in a change of custody proceeding.

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“We reiterate that parents in a divorce proceeding should if at all possible refrain from calling any of the children of their marriage, of tender years at least, as witnesses, and counsel should advise their clients against doing so except in the most exigent cases. The reason and wisdom behind this precaution need no amplification. We also hold, however, as we must that no parent can be precluded from having a child of the marriage in a divorce proceeding testify simply because of that fact.” Jethrow v. Jethrow, 571 So.2d 270, 274 (Miss. 1990)(emphasis added).

A child testifying should be avoided, however if it cannot be avoided the above process will likely be used by the Court to determine if and how the child will testify.

Matthew Thompson is a Child Custody Litigation Attorney in Mississippi.

Two Family Law BILLS Died in Committee

Mississippi legislation kicked around 2 significant ideas for changes in Family Law. Both failed to become law in the State.

This “was the year” for Irretrievable Breakdown, Mississippi’s answer to No Fault Divorce.

In MS, you do NOT have a right to a divorce. You either have to have fault grounds that you can prove to the satisfaction of the Chancellor or have an agreement with your spouse to ALL issues. 48 other states have a No Fault Divorce process. MS does not.

Thirteenth. Upon application of either party, the court may
grant a divorce when the court finds there has been an
irretrievable breakdown of the marriage and that further attempts
at reconciliation are impractical or futile and not in the best
interests of the parties or family.

Secondly, a Joint Custody bill was proposed. There were several iterations of this legislation, but the gist of it was that the Court was to assume that Joint Physical Custody was in the best interest of the child when parents could not agree (and, even if they could) and if the Court found Joint Physical Custody was not in the best interest of the child it had to state why. (There were some issues with the proposed legislation as it was drafted, but this Bill found some traction and was discussed and bandied about for weeks…ultimately to no avail).

(2) * * * (a) There shall be a presumption, rebuttable by a
preponderance of evidence, that joint custody and equally shared
parenting time is in the best interest of the child. If the court
does not grant joint custody and/or equally shared parenting time,
the court shall construct a parenting time schedule which
maximizes the time each parent has with the child and ensuring the
best interest of the child is met.
(b) Upon petition of both parents, the court may grant
legal and/or physical custody to one parent.

Both bills failed and there are limited changes to MS Family Law. A blog for another day.

Matthew Thompson is a Family Law Attorney in MS and is in favor of some common sense changes in Mississippi Law.

What Does it Look Like when you are Not Ready for Divorce?

I have written several times on sometimes just not being ready. I have seen multiple instances of person just not being ready…

What are the signs of Not Being Ready?

Things are moving TOO Fast.

The divorce process is actually fairly slow in Mississippi. It is typically at least 60 days with the average cases taking closer to 90 days, if uncontested. If contested, the case could take 6-18 months. A few take even longer!

Things are TOO Emotional.

Of course divorce is highly emotional. In some respects you may never “get over it.” However, the best results require that you treat the financial aspects as a business transaction. If you are so focused on the emotion, getting even or some other aspect, you’ll regret it later.

It makes NO Sense.

If you are in a brain fog and cannot explain in plain terms what the lawyer has explained to you, you may not be ready. I don’t expect you to know every legal term of art, but there are some very important concepts you need to understand.

It’s TOO Hard.

Getting to simple agreements is a Herculean effort. When commonsense has left the station.

These are just a few indicators of Not being ready. Be on the lookout for these signs in your spouse and/or yourself. Recognizing these issues will allow for them to be better handled.

Matthew Thompson is a Divorce and Custody lawyer in Mississippi and warns you that negotiating a divorce when you are not ready may result in regret.

Quote of the Day: Covid-19 & Homeschooling.

I’d rather have him watch classic Godzilla movies and play in the yard and pretend to be a Jedi rather than figure out basic math.

A Boston, MA parent is tired of homeschooling his kindergartener.

Amid the barrage of learning apps, video meet-ups and e-mailed assignments that pass as pandemic home school, some frustrated and exhausted parents are choosing to disconnect entirely for the rest of the academic year.“Id.

Respect and admiration for teachers are growing as the pandemic-forced school closures continue.

As a parent, your job is to do what is best for your child, even during a pandemic.

Matthew Thompson is a child custody lawyer and enjoys his share of Godzilla and Jedi movies, but reminds parents that rearing your child continues to be a top priority.

Love your Child MORE than you Hate the Other Parent…

Your job as the parent is to do what is best for your child every time.

It can be hard to show grace to a spouse/other parent who does not deserve, but most of the time it is what is best for your child.

It does not mean that they are not held accountable, but what it does mean, is that short of placing your child in true danger, you encourage and promote a relationship between the child and the other parent.

Just not saying hateful things (like they do ) is not enough. Your child is half of them and half of you. If you convince them that the other parent is ALL bad, then you are telling your child that half of their identity is bad.

Exceptions, of course, are made for abuse and dangerous conduct, but those are the exceptions, not the rule.

Matthew Thompson is a Child Custody lawyer in Mississippi and thinks the Family Law world needs a little more love.

(601)850-8000

Best Parenting Advice; Be Consistent and Be Positive

No, this isn’t a Tony Robbins webinar.

This advice comes from years of custody disputes, multiple counselors, being a parent and seeing a lot of what-not-to-do.

#1 Be Consistent

Be there. Show up when you are supposed to. Be there when you can in addition to when you are supposed to. Be supportive mentally, emotionally, financially. Be calm. Be steady. Be there.

#1A Be Positive.

Be a good example. Be a positive role model. Say nice things about your child. Say nice things about the other parent. Be reassuring. Be encouraging. Be loving. Be affectionate.

That’s it. Do those things. You’ll win at parenting.

Matthew Thompson is a child custody attorney in Mississippi and encourages all parents to be consistent and be positive, even you.

(601)850-8000 Matthew@bowtielawyer.ms

Don’t Parent like a Snail.

Matthew Thompson is a child custody attorney in Mississippi and advises parent’s to not take the snail’s care-free approach to parenting.

Matthew@bowtielawyer.ms (601)850-8000

Back-to-School time.

Summer is ending. School bells are ringing…

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With back-to-school comes the end of the summer schedule, loose routines and late bed times. Along with the return to school comes “Meet the teacher,” “Back-to-School Night,” & “Meet the (insert mascot of your school here).”

Regardless of your “Custody” arrangement, both parents are free to attend any and all events. It matters not whose “time” it is. I routinely advise clients that if our children attended school or events together, if I can go, you can go.

Additionally, Mississippi law specifically provides that a parent, even a non-custodial parent, shall have “access to records and information pertaining to a minor child, including but not limited to medical, dental and school records, [and] shall not be denied to a parent because the parent is not the child’s custodial parent if such parent’s parental rights have not been terminated by adoption or by a termination of parental rights proceeding.” MCA 93-5-26

So, parents, go to these events for your child. Meet their teacher, meet the other parents, their classmates and school administrators. Stay plugged in. It will benefit your child.

Matthew Thompson is a Child Custody attorney in Mississippi and encourages you to be an engaged parent.

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