Category Archives: Child Custody

Child Custody, Child Support, Crime, divorce, General Legal, Opinion

How to be a TERRIBLE Person. (11 specific ways you can be mean & hateful.)

12/23/2013 BowTieLawyer 5 Comments

In my profession I get to see a lot of what not to do almost, every day; from videos, texts, and emails to actions and sometimes inaction.

So, I have compiled a list of what terrible people do. If you want to be terrible do these things, in no particular order.

Curse and scream at your spouse, as loud as you can, as often as you can.
Curse and scream at your children.
Make false abuse claims.
Lie about the false abuse claims even when it’s clear they are false.
Bad-mouth your child’s other parent to the child. (Hey, it’s the truth, right!)
Interfere with their time with the child. Just do it. Sure it hurts your child too, that’s what makes it even more terrible.
Abuse your spouse or child. (Any form – all are terrible, some more-so than others.)
Refuse to support your family.
File suit when your ex paid 5 days late, even though they told you. It’s the principal, right?
Threaten to make public private images. (and mean it when you say it, at least in the moment.)
Refuse Christmas visitation. Just because.

There you have it, 11 mean, hate-filled things that you can do to be terrible.

“Oh, and if you don’t want to be terrible don’t do these things.” – Matthew Thompson

Matthew Thompson is a Family Law Attorney in Mississippi and tries not to do terrible things or give terrible advice.

Follow the blog: BowTieLawyer . You may also contact Matthew with your family law case, question or concern at (601) 850-8000 or Matthew@bowtielawyer.ms

Child Custody, Crime, divorce, General Legal, Marriage, Modifications, Opinion

You Are Your Own Worst Enemy!

12/18/2013 BowTieLawyer Leave a comment

In Court there are a lot of forces against you. Your spouse or ex-spouse, their attorney, sometimes the Judge, at least seemingly, the GAL, the Court appointed expert all are not looking out for your best interests. But, who is your own worst enemy? Your lawyer? NO!

It’s YOU!

More often than not, when there is a disaster it is due to your own making or at least you are a major contributor. Not following the advice of your lawyer is one of the main factors in you making your case worse. Doing what you want or feel like is another. Deliberately defying a Court Order is never smart either.

So, how do you avoid disaster. Listen. Heed the advice given. Do NOT do things contrary to that advice. If in doubt don’t act, but ask. That alone is worth the price of this blog.

“If in doubt ASK, don’t ACT!” – Matthew Thompson

Matthew Thompson is a Family Law Attorney and gives lots of advice on a daily basis.

Follow the blog: BowTieLawyer Visit the website: Thompson Law FirmYou may also contact Matthew with your family law case, question or concern at (601) 850-8000 or Matthew@bowtielawyer.ms

Child Custody, divorce, General Legal

Protecting Valuables vs. Values; Which is Worth More?

11/26/2013 BowTieLawyer 1 Comment

One aspect of my practice that is important to me is the protection of client valuables (assets), but also just as important, if not more so, and often overlooked is protecting client’s values.

Values you say? What kind of divorce attorney cares about values? Well, they do seem to be fewer and far between, but they do exist. An attorney that values a client’s values is a good attorney to have. There are lots of tricks and subterfuge possible in family law. Financial disclosure are by and large based on the oath of the party completing it. Sure there are account statements, but it would be easy to fudge on. One recent case where values succumbed to valuables, the husband “forgot” to disclose he won the lottery 2 months before the divorce was final. Oops. Another, the husband did not disclose multiple houses and a subdivision that were acquired during the marriage. He figured nobody would find out.

So, why are values important? Valuables come and go. You can’t take them with you and all the other materialism clichés apply here. The bottom line is that Values, how you handle yourself in the divorce, how your children see you treating your ex, and how you parent in a divorce situation, matter more than stuff.

Matthew Thompson is an Asset Protection and Family Law Attorney in the Hospitality State and knows that values can be worth far more than valuables.

Follow the blog: BowTieLawyer Visit the website: Thompson Law Firm You may also contact Matthew with your family law case, question or concern at (601) 850-8000 or Matthew@bowtielawyer.ms

Child Custody, Modifications

Military Service and Child Custody

11/11/2013 BowTieLawyer Leave a comment

Many service members deal with serious family law issues which seem exacerbated by their military service. As if just working full-time and trying to balance life were not enough, being subject to deployment, frequent moves and dangerous activities add to making a bad circumstance worse. But, recently Mississippi has tried to make custody issues for military members a little easier.

Mississippi recently enacted a statute dealing with child custody when a parent receives temporary duty, deployment or mobilization orders. MCA 93-5-34, provides a fair, efficient and swift process to resolve custody matters when dealing with a military parent. Upon such circumstances of a custodial parent being “called up” the statute provides that the other parent will have custody, but that custody ends within 10 days of the former custodial parent returning from service.

Additionally, it provides that the deployed parent shall have reasonable access for phone and video visits. The deployed member may also delegate visitation to their own family members. These types of military custody cases receive priority by the Courts to be heard and the deployed parent may “attend” via affidavit or electronic means where possible.

Lastly, a parent’s deployment and subsequent custody change cannot be used against that parent upon their return. Mississippi has enacted sensible, fair custody legislation that protects military service members and their families.

Matthew Thompson is a Military Divorce Attorney in Mississippi. Happy Veteran’s Day and thank you to all you have served.

Follow the blog: BowTieLawyer. You may also contact Matthew with your family law case, question or concern at (601) 850-8000 or Matthew@bowtielawyer.ms

Child Custody, divorce, Modifications

Jr. is 12+, he picks where he lives, right?… Child Preferences and the Law

11/07/2013 BowTieLawyer 3 Comments

If I had a nickel for every time a parent has said,

“Well, Jr. is (insert age) so I reckon he picks where he lives, right?”…

I’d have a wheel barrow full of nickels.

It’s true that a child may express a custodial preference if they are 12 years old or older, however that preference alone will not carry the custody issue. It is but one factor that the Court must consider when performing an Albright Analysis. Albright is the case that lists the factors the judge must consider when determining custody.

Said another way a 12-year-old does not get to pick and that be the end of the story. There are a myriad of cases where a child has stated a preference for one parent and the Court determined that the best interests of the child favored the other parent. One famous case involved a 14-year-old that wanted to live with Dad. Dad purchased him a 4-wheeler, let him have a TV in his bedroom and kept his “Adult” magazines around, easily accessible. Mom, on the other hand, made him eat his vegetables, do his homework, no TV in his room and forbade inappropriate materials. If you’re a 14-year-old male teen, who would you pick? The Court determined, after a factual analysis, that mom was better suited for the teen, despite his stated preference. This case was upheld by the appellate court as well.

So, a child 12 or older can state a preference, but it may not carry the day. The better course would be for mom and dad to resolve the custody visitation issues and prevent the child from being in that position. However, that advice is easy to say and very difficult to follow in certain circumstances.

Matthew Thompson is a Child Custody Attorney in Mississippi. While child preferences in a custody case matter, that alone will not support an initial custody decision, nor is the sole basis for a modification.

Child Custody, Crime, divorce, Marriage, Opinion

The Adultery Train- All Aboard!

10/23/2013 BowTieLawyer 4 Comments

An affair plays a significant role in a large number of divorces. It is a train wreck to a relationship.

big_bad_locomotive_by_beezqp-d4mfi8t-1024x727 — Beezqp- “Big Bad Locomotive”

A sure-fire way to wreak havoc in a marriage is to have an affair. Mississippi law defines an affair or adultery as sexual intercourse, with a person of the opposite sex, not your spouse. However, due to the secretive nature of affairs you do not have to have an admission of guilt or pictures, though it helps. The ground can be proven through circumstantial evidence.

Upon a satisfactory showing of 1) inclination or infatuation, which can consist of cards, notes, emails, love letters, texts and phone records showing many calls; and 2) opportunity, which is the spouse and that other person alone together, be it in a car, house, motel, hotel, park or back alley, a Court can find that fault grounds exist. Due to this, even the whole “it’s only an emotional affair” and the “we didn’t have sex” may not be enough to stop the Adultery train from running over you.

So, why do people have affairs? They can be exciting, fun and pleasurable, at least for a little while. What leads to this? Sometimes the person is unhappy, dissatisfied, over-stressed, unloved, under-appreciated, or at least believe that they are.

The problem is the affair does not fix the problem. It only serves to make things worse. Because along with an affair comes new baggage. Guilt, secrecy, and the emotions of a third person are now commingled in your personal life. An affair not only hurts your spouse, but also you, your children and the other party. It has emotional consequences, financial consequences, custody consequences and legal consequences.

An affair is a Train wreck in the making.

Matthew Thompson is a semi-part-time Family Law Professor at MC Law and a Divorce Attorney encouraging you to avoid train wrecks!

Child Custody, Crime, divorce, General Legal, Opinion

Beer Muscles- When exercising is not OK.

10/18/2013 BowTieLawyer Leave a comment

Habitual Drunkenness is not only a fault ground for divorce, but also leads to a wide variety of family law troubles.

Alcohol (aka:booze, beer, hooch, liquor, wine, drink, the bottle) is an easy vice to turn to, especially when dealing with the emotion and anxiety of family issues. However, it seldom salves and often makes things worse. Habitual drunkenness, that is consistent alcohol use and abuse to the extent that it cause the breakdown of the marriage, is grounds for divorce. Additionally, alcohol abuse can and will be used against you in a custody determination. I am not saying that you have to be a tee-total-er, but abuse of alcohol leads to poor judgement, decreased inhibitions and legal trouble.

Alcohol contributes to domestic violence incidents, accidents, and of course DUI. The risks always outweigh the rewards.

So do you have an alcohol problem? Well, there are a few ways to tell. Have you asked yourself if you have an alcohol problem? If so, you might. Can you go without drinking? If you suspect you have an alcohol problem seek help now. It will help your family later.

Matthew Thompson is a Family Law Adj. Professor at MC Law and a Child Custody/Divorce Attorney. Drink Responsibly! (if you do).

Follow the blog: BowTieLawyer Visit the website: Thompson Law FirmYou may also contact Matthew with your family law case, question or concern at (601) 850-8000 or Matthew@bowtielawyer.ms

Child Custody, Child Support, Crime, divorce, Opinion

Never Do This in Court! (or This!)

10/14/2013 BowTieLawyer 2 Comments

Court. The most anxious, stress-filled, loss of control decision a person can make. Even with careful preparation it can be unpleasant. Without preparation it can be a nightmare!

So what should you not do in Court?

Don’t argue with the Judge. Even if the Judge is “wrong,” “mistaken,” or “backwards.” Leave the arguing to the attorney.
Don’t argue with your attorney. Short of catastrophic representation meltdown listen and heed your attorney’s advice.
Don’t argue with the other attorney. Just answer the questions asked, explaining if necessary. Personal jabs, smart-alleck responses and witty banter are not needed.

So that’s what you should not do, but what should you NEVER do?

Never give sassy responses to the Judge. This is different from arguing. Oftentimes the Judge will have questions for the witnesses. The responses and the manner given matter. For instance, in a hearing where both parents sought custody and child support, the father said that he did “NOT need ANY child support nor ANY money to care for HIS kids…” But, he then objected to having to pay any child support as he had limited income. The Court made note of his inconsistency.
Never criticize the other parent for conduct that you also do. On another occasion a parent was being especially critical of the other for “leaving” the children at day care all day and not picking them up until the “last-minute,” around 5:30. Well, this parent had also just testified they were self-employed and could get the children at any time, because his schedule was so flexible, but did not. This irked the Judge.
Never lie. (PERJURY) You will get caught. The truth is easy to remember. Remember, usually, it’s not the crime but the cover-up that gets you. The very affluent husband, with a great job, testified that he was unsure of his income, but knew his expenses down to the penny. He testified under oath that his expenses exceeded his income by over $10,000 per month. The problem? He had no debt. This situation of making $10,000 less than he was spending had been going on for months, if not years, but he always made payroll, carried no debt, had no loans and could not explain how this could be. Perhaps he had a money tree out back. The Judge imputed income and based his obligations on what he stated his expenses were and what apparently his income was.

Matthew Thompson is an Adjunct Professor- Domestic Relations at MC Law and a Family Law Lawyer. Don’t do these things in Court if you know what’s good for you!

Follow the blog: BowTieLawyer Visit the website: Thompson Law FirmYou may also contact Matthew with your family law case, question or concern at (601) 850-8000 or Matthew@bowtielawyer.ms