Category Archives: Divorce

Super Bowl Sunday; Super Strange Custody Fight

02/03/2013 BowTieLawyer Leave a comment

With the Super Bowl imminent it reminded me of a case I was involved in where there was a serious custody battle. The fight was not over the children, nor the house or the retirement accounts. The fight was over SEC Season Football Tickets! (certainly worth fighting for)

gallery-thumbnails

The tickets were secured by one party who had been getting them for years, but were actually paid for by the other party. So, both felt they had a legitimate claim, additionally both genuinely wanted the tickets. It was not posturing by the wife to get a better deal or more support.

The solution? Joint custody.

Each picked certain games that they would attend each year and on the ones that both wanted to attend they agreed to alternate even years and odd years to determine who got to go. Another interesting aside was that there were 2 tickets for each game. Who the guest would be was also an issue, as they obviously would not both go at the same time! Neither wanted the other to be able to take a bf/gf. The compromise was that the other ticket would be used by a family member, or a minor friend of the children. (Minor meaning under 21, not just small). The custody of the season tickets was one of the last issues to get resolved. It really did matter.

Matthew Thompson is a family law attorney that will handle your custody case, whether it be over Children, the House, Accounts, SEC Season Football Tickets or the Dog! Trust the Bow Tie.

Follow the blog: BowTieLawyer Visit the website: Thompson Law Firm

You may also contact Matthew with your family law case, question or concern at (601) 850-8000 or Matthew@bowtielawyer.ms

Divorce, General Legal, Opinion

Keeping Quiet; Family Law’s Most Difficult Challenge

01/28/2013 BowTieLawyer 3 Comments

Loose lips sink ships, less is more, mind your business, and be nice or at least indifferent. All good advice, given everyday and routinely ignored.

Coping with litigation, especially family law litigation, is tough. “Venting” is common and can be therapeutic,(click here for dealing with stress) but be careful who you vent to. If it is done to the wrong person it will come back to bite you. But…you say, “I am only telling the truth.”

The truth is if your cheating spouse loses his job everyone is worse off. The truth is if your spouse, who is a sorry parent because they are more interested in going to the Electric Cowboy, is vilified in front of the children it will be harmful to them. (They will know in time. An exception may be made if the parent’s sorriness affects the children’s actual safety).

Also, telling people your business does not bode well for reconciliation. Telling your “friend that has been through this” what a crummy guy he is, how sorry he is, and how abusive he is, means you and that “friend that has been through this” will NOT be friends when you and Mr. Sorry get back together. I know what you are thinking, “No chance in hell of that,” but stranger things have happened…

So who can you vent to?

Your Lawyer. We are paid to listen, counsel and advise…though we all have our limits.
Your Counselor. It’s their job, too. They listen, do not judge and can offer coping mechanisms. Don’t have a counselor? Ask your lawyer.
Your Preacher. They have heard it before and are very familiar with Sodom and Gomorrah and fire and brimstone. Your situation is probably not that bad.
Your Momma. I don’t mean this in the slang sense. Really, speaking with a parent, or other trusted adult, can help, even if you are a grown-up, yourself. Just be careful because what you say to a lay person is not protected by attorney-client privilege, doctor-patient privilege, nor priest-penitent privilege. (I have less concern about you telling your mom how sorry he is because deep down mom always “knew” it).
Your Friend that has been through it. This can be a great resource of knowing what to expect and leaning on a sympathetic ear. Be careful here, too, as there is no privilege and she could be playing both sides, and reconciliation means y’all likely won’t be friends.

Be sure you let your attorney know who you are talking to. They need to know. They may have represented that friend, or otherwise been involved in that case, and may have some insight as to whether you should be talking to that person.

Matthew Thompson is a family law attorney that knows how to keep quiet about your business. Confidentiality and privilege are two things taken very seriously at TLF.

Follow the blog: BowTieLawyer Visit the website: Thompson Law Firm

Child Custody, Divorce, General Legal

Secret Spy (Hiring a Private Eye)

01/25/2013 BowTieLawyer 1 Comment

One of the perks of being a divorce attorney is you get to be acquainted with a number of other people who have really cool jobs. This post is about Private Investigators (PIs), when to use them and what they need from you.

I have previously posted of some of the potential warning signs of an affair. (click here) If you have suspicions that your spouse may be having an affair it may be wise to hire a PI. A PI can follow your spouse, take pictures, document their whereabouts and identify third persons that your spouse may be with. In addition to adultery situations, PIs may also be useful in locating hard-to-find persons/witnesses and even completing service of process. A PI can also play a role in custody cases in documenting the other parent’s living conditions, if a third-party is sleeping over and the other parent’s comings and goings.

PIs have come a long way from hiding in the bushes snapping pictures, though it still happens. There are hi-tech means of surveillance, GPS tracking abilities and computer forensics which can discover that nothing is truly deleted!

Here’s a starter list to provide a PI in the event you choose to hire one.

Pictures of who they are to follow.
Pictures and tag # of the car(s) they are to follow.
Where that person works and normal office hours.
Where that person hangs out, works out and/or chills out.
The usual routine; ie: on Wednesdays he always goes to Buffalo Wild Wings.
Address of the home and anywhere else the person may be staying.
List of suspected paramour(s).
Any and all information you have about paramour(s).
Your usual routine, too. Knowing this the PI may be able to catch you-know-who where they should not be when you are at the Wednesday evening service.

Talk to the PI about fees. These are not covered in attorney fees. PIs usually charge a retainer and bill by the hour and for mileage. Be careful about having your spouse followed to New Orleans, it may not be worth it if you don’t get the goods. Also, make sure the PI generates a report, pictures and will testify in Court, if necessary.

The use of a PI is discoverable in litigation, which means if you use one and are asked about it you will have to disclose it. Stay tuned for a blog about what to do if you think you are being followed.

Matthew Thompson is a family law attorney that leaves the private investigation to the PIs, but does review the pictures and videos from the investigations, as it is required by his job!

Follow the blog: BowTieLawyer Visit the website: Thompson Law Firm

You may also contact Matthew with your family law case, question or concern at (601) 850-8000 or Matthew@wmtlawfirm.com.

Divorce, General Legal, Opinion

Red Flag Representation

01/23/2013 BowTieLawyer 4 Comments

This blog topic was requested by a colleague. This posting is geared toward attorneys on spotting warning signs and/or red flags of potential difficult clients. This can also apply to a variety of business owners to be on the lookout for potential difficult customers.

Difficult clients and difficult cases come with the territory of being a lawyer. The following are some red flags to be aware of, however, these are not necessarily cases or clients to avoid. I have read many other attorney and business guru’s opinions on avoiding certain types of clients/customers. They are time stealers, energy wasters and headaches in the making. In my practice, however, “clients to avoid” have been some of the more gratifying cases for a variety of reasons. Nonetheless, it is always best to know what you are getting into.

Calling/Hiring at the Last Minute. We have all had the call. “I need an attorney for tomorrow!” There’s a trial setting that has been ignored and the client wants you to work miracles. When the trial is tomorrow – red flag.
Multiple Past Attorneys. This client has been through 2 or 3 or more attorneys. This is a huge red flag. The former attorneys either “did not know what he was doing” or “was on the take” or both. (Sometimes there is a former attorney “no longer willing to do anything” because the potential client owes them a lot of money.)
5 Boxes on the First Visit. It takes 3 trips to get everything upstairs from car. Every possible shred of paper has been kept, not necessarily in an organized manner, but…”I know it’s in there somewhere.”
No Call/No Show for an Appointment. After accommodating someone’s work schedule, staying late to meet them and they do not show, did not call, and did not answer when you tried to call them, it could be a sign of the future.
When it’s Just Too Hard. You know the client. Having to convince them you are honest and on the up and up, having to justify every minute spent speaking to them and/or working on their case. I charge a fee for my initial assessments with clients. I do this because I provide valuable information, answer questions, provide them with a specific plan of action and it creates a “future conflict” upon the meeting taking place. When I have to go to great lengths to justify a fee because so and so will see them for free for a “consultation,” I tell them to go see so and so.
When There is Animosity at the Outset. Along the lines of being Just Too Hard, is when you just don’t click. Sometimes we have to give hard advice. Sometimes we tell people what they do not want to hear. Sometimes they attack the messenger.
Interviewing Multiple Attorneys. This one is seemingly innocuous. It differs from the multiple past attorneys above because the potential client never actually hired the interviewees. This is the classic “Conflict the Attorney Out,” scheme. People do it. Be aware.
Super Emotional. Family law is always difficult and is always emotional. However, sometimes the hurt and emotional pain of a case are too much for the client to deal with AND litigation and all of the rigors that requires at the same time. Recognize this to better serve your clients.
No Pay or Slow Pay. The check is in the mail, can you hold the check until ___?, or the check bounced. As Professor Jeffrey Jackson* at Mississippi College School of Law is known to say, “I can worry about your case or the money you owe me, but not both.” It is fair to ask the potential client about their income, available resources and intentions to pay the necessary fees. *(As an aside, Professor Jackson was named to National Jurist’s 23 Law Professors to Take Before you Die.)

These are just a few red flags that a potential client could be difficult, but in my opinion any one of these can occur due to the circumstances of a particular situation and should not disqualify representation. If all signs are present in your next new client consultation, tell them to go hire so and so.

Matthew is a family law attorney and is not scared to take on a red flag representation, well, except the ones that don’t pay.

Follow the blog: BowTieLawyer Visit the website: Thompson Law Firm

You may also contact Matthew with your family law case, question or concern at (601) 850-8000 or Matthew@bowtielawyer.ms.

Divorce, Opinion

It’s So Cold…

Image 01/17/2013 BowTieLawyer Leave a comment

How cold is it?

It’s so cold outside I saw a divorce attorney with his hands in his own pockets.

Matthew Thompson is a family law attorney that is up front with his clients about fees and expenses of litigation. Hiring Thompson Law Firm may help you keep some green in your pocket.

Follow the blog: BowTieLawyer Visit the website: Thompson Law Firm

You may also contact Matthew with your family law case, question or concern at(601) 850-8000 or Matthew@wmtlawfirm.com.

Child Custody, Divorce, General Legal, Modifications

Jurisdiction; Where to Sue.

01/08/2013 BowTieLawyer 1 Comment

Jurisdiction is one of those legal terms we hear a lot, but aren’t always sure what it means. In the legal world, for a Court to be able to act upon a filed complaint and grant relief to a party, the Court must have jurisdiction.

Jurisdiction provides the Court authority to makes decisions over a party and the topic of their lawsuit.

Mississippi law provides rules for determining if a Court has jurisdiction and where that may be. MCA § 93-5-5, contains the residency requirements for a divorce action. Additionally, all actions for divorce will be filed in the Chancery Court for the appropriate county.

The jurisdiction of the chancery court in suits for divorce shall be confined to the following cases:

(a) Where one (1) of the parties has been an actual bonafide resident within this state for six (6) months next preceding the commencement of the suit. If a member of the armed services of the United States is stationed in the state and residing within the state with his spouse, such person and his spouse shall be considered actual bonafide residents of the state for the purposes of this section, provided they were residing within the state at the time of the separation of the parties.

(b) In any case where the proof shows that a residence was acquired in this state with a purpose of securing a divorce, the court shall not take jurisdiction thereof, but dismiss the bill at the cost of complainant.

In plain terms, this means you file your divorce action in your home county, or the County that you have resided in for at least 6 months, immediately filing the action. If you were married in another stated and meet the Mississippi residency requirements you file in Mississippi. If were married on the Coast, but live in Jackson and have for over 6 months you file in Jackson. Sometimes, if you wish to file in your current area, but have not met the residency requirements you may have to wait. Sometimes there are disputes as to residency and the parties can litigate where the case should be litigated. Some states have different residency requirements than Mississippi so don’t bank on the 6 months if you are in another state.

There are also a number of exceptions or tweaks to the jurisdictional rules. Another Court, or State, could have “emergency jurisdiction” in child custody cases pursuant to the Uniform Child Custody Jurisdiction Enforcement Act. (UCCJEA). Also, if your divorce was originally in another state or another county, that original Court would have original jurisdiction and there are additional rules to “transfer” jurisdiction and in some instance you cannot move it. Military family law cases also have exceptions to the traditional jurisdiction rules.

Jurisdiction is a critical aspect to consider when filing. It is imperative that your case be filed in the right place geographically and the right Court. You also may have options between differing Courts based on what is at issue in your case. Talk to your lawyer about where your case should be filed.

Matthew is a family law attorney and native Mississippian. Follow his blog, here, at http://www.BowTieLawyer.wp.com.

You may also contact Matthew with your family law or jurisdictional question or concern at (601) 850-8000 or Matthew@wmtlawfirm.com.

Divorce, General Legal, Opinion

Holiday Burnout; 3 Tips to Cope and Keep Moving Forward.

01/03/2013 BowTieLawyer Leave a comment

Now that the Holiday’s hustle and bustle are behind us it is common for an emotional lull or brief bout of depression to set in. These are the Christmas Blues and are real. These are especially common in those persons dealing with the stress of family law litigation.

Christmas Blues happen for a number of reasons; all of the excitement and anticipation of the holidays have passed, financial problems that were ignored can no longer be (your personal financial cliff), the relatives you actually enjoy seeing have gone back home, and the “doldrums” of work and real life are back, in full force. There is even a medical term that can be applied; seasonal affective disorder.

There are a few mechanisms to cope with these Christmas Blues. I have previously blogged on dealing with stress by keeping a routine, adding some form of physical fitness and making your bed everyday, these continue to be applicable. However, the Christmas Blues can be counteracted with a few other techniques, which also happen to be appropriate if you are dealing with or anticipate dealing with family law issues.

Get a financial check-up. Meet with your financial advisor or CPA. Hire one if you don’t have one. You may think you don’t have a need or do not have enough assets to warrant it, however knowing what you have, where it goes and what to do with it helps regardless of your situation.
Get a medical check-up. This is almost as unpopular as going to the dentist, but do it anyway. Knowing what’s going on with your health is important and can head off future issues. I know you’re busy and feel fine. Do it anyway.
Get a spiritual check-up. Why do bad things happen to good people? Why is their so much illness and tragedy in the world? I do not have all of the answers, but these are common questions. Being centered, be it through your church, other place of worship or out in the woods, helps you cope with life’s unanswered questions.

These are not earth shattering, though may be annoying or hard to schedule. Do it anyway. You will not regret it.

Matthew is a divorce attorney, food blogger, and Mississippian, none of which he apologizes for. Follow the @ http://www.BowTieLawyer.ms.

You may contact the Firm at (601) 850-8000 or Matthew@bowtielawyer.ms.

Bow Tie, Crime, Divorce, General Legal, Opinion, Pets

BowTieLawyer’s Top Rated Posts of 2012 (and a few of my favorites)

12/31/2012 BowTieLawyer Leave a comment

Below are the Top Rated posts for BowTieLawyer for 2012 and a few of my favorites. Thank you for viewing this blog, posting comments and sharing. I think this is a worthwhile blog and I enjoy doing it.