Category Archives: humor

Divorce, humor, Marriage

Burn the Couch!

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Sometimes cleaning up the scene of the crime helps the healing process.

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I previously wrote about  knowing too much of the dirty details may make forgiveness impossible.  Knowing the who, what, where, and when and other dirt can mess with your mind and trigger PTSD-like symptoms.

However, sometimes you cannot forget and you may have a daily reminder in the living room. You are left with 3 options:

  1. You can choose to forgive. 
  2. You can choose NOT to forgive. 
  3. You can BURN the Couch.

Forgiveness takes time, choosing not to forgive takes a commitment, burning the couch takes a lighter.*

Matthew Thompson is a Mississippi Divorce Attorney and reminds you that if you are going to burn the couch, do so outside, in a safe manner and in full compliance of all applicable laws.*

Follow the blog: BowTieLawyer Visit the website: Thompson Law Firm You may also contact Matthew with your family law case, question or concern at (601) 850-8000 or Matthew@bowtielawyer.ms

Divorce, humor

Cockroaches, Your Ex & What they Deserve.

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What do you get for your Ex that has everything?

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What they deserve.

The Bronx Zoo has a special offer for you. For just $10.00 you can name a roach after your Ex and receive a Certificate to prove it. For the low, low cost of $25.00 it includes an edible, delectable, chocolate treat!

Offer ends soon.

Matthew Thompson is a Family Law Attorney in Mississippi and encourages you to support your local Zoo. TLF did by adopting a Madgascar Hissing Cockroach in honor of all of your Exes!

Follow the blog: BowTieLawyer Visit the website: Thompson Law Firm  You may also contact Matthew with your family law case, question or concern at 

(601) 850-8000  or Matthew@bowtielawyer.ms

 

 

Child Custody, Crime, Divorce, General Legal, humor, Modifications, Opinion

The SleepOver Challenge; How to Judge Yourself and Others

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Serving as Family Law Attorney leads to having information that you wish you did NOT have.

http://blog.fabkids.com/2014/05/splendid-slumber-party-ideas/

From swinging key parties to recreational substance abuse, the surprises just keep coming.  I am constantly surprised at what “normal” people are doing, even your neighbors.

One way to judge your actions is to ask yourself “Do I pass the SleepOver Challenge?” This simple test is whether you would allow your child to go to a sleepover at the neighbor’s house if they were doing what you were doing.

If you answer “yes,” then a Judge would likely be okay with your conduct (assuming you are in the bounds of societal norms).  If your answer is “no,” then it’s time to re-examine what you are doing.

And, if you are engaging in some really bizarre behind closed doors conduct, just disregard this, keep it to yourself and don’t invite anyone for a sleepover.

Matthew Thompson is a Child Custody Attorney practicing Family Law in Mississippi.

Visit the website: Thompson Law Firm

You may also contact Matthew with your family law case, question or concern at (601) 850-8000 or Matthew@bowtielawyer.ms.

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Crime, Divorce, General Legal, humor

Judges; Human Lie Detectors

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“Do you swear or affirm the testimony you are about to give is the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth?”

All testimony is under oath. Judges apply the smell test to determine your truthfulness. Testimony that doesn’t make sense fails this test.

A man, after having been caught with his girlfriend, denied they were intimate because he could not…perform.  There was testimony that he had issues in that department. However, he was also on medication for his ailments.  He continued his medication even months after separating from his wife.  He did NOT have a good explanation for that.

Judge knew he was NOT telling the whole truth. You can lose your credibility on something seemingly trivial. Judges listen intently and judge you. That is their job. If you lie about little things or are “cute” with your answers then they may assume you’ll lie about big things.

Matthew Thompson is a Divorce Lawyer in Mississippi and recommends you tell the truth and nothing but the truth…but only answer what is asked.

Follow the blog: BowTieLawyer Visit the website: Thompson Law Firm

You may also contact Matthew with your family law case, question or concern at (601) 850-8000 or Matthew@bowtielawyer.ms.

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Child Custody, Divorce, General Legal, humor, Opinion, Visitation

5 Ways NOT to introduce your new BF/GF to the Kids…

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It’s going to happen at some point. You will get to (or have to) introduce your new soulmate to the children.  But, do you have to make it awkward?

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These are the TOP 5 ways NOT to introduce your new beauty or beau.

5. At the Traditional Family Holiday Dinner. It should preferably be on an occasion prior to this and more casual.

4. At the pick-up/drop-off exchange.  Sure, at some point you will all be a big, happy, blended family, but a slower introduction is usually better.

3. On an Overnight Trip. Could be contempt, could make for a long weekend.

2. The day the Divorce is final.  This is too soon.

1. At the Wedding.  It needs to be sooner, if possible.

Matthew Thompson is a Child Custody attorney in Mississippi and next up will be 5 ways to positively introduce that new soulmate…

Follow the blog: BowTieLawyer Visit the website: Thompson Law Firm

You may also contact Matthew with your family law case at (601) 850-8000  or Matthew@BowTieLawyer.ms

Child Custody, Divorce, humor

When a Child testifies, You May Not get what you Intended.

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“Well, let’s just ask little Johnny what he wants!”

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“[P]arents in a divorce proceeding should if at all possible refrain from calling any of the children of their marriage…as witnesses, and counsel should advise their clients against doing so except in the most exigent cases.” Jethrow v. Jethrow, 571 So.2d 270, 274 (Miss. 1990).“

The Mississippi Supreme Court added that the reason and wisdom for this precaution needed no amplification as to why you should not compel your child to testify if it can be avoided.

The potential for emotional trauma is a given. But, another unstated reason a la Forrest Gump, “you never know what you are gonna get.“

In a particularly acrimonious custody case, the mother insisted on calling the 6 year old daughter to testify. She wanted her to say she wanted to live with mom. Mom had recently redecorated her room in pink and butterflies. However, when questioned she responded as follows;

Court: If you had a magic wand and you could wave it and live wherever you wanted, where would that be?

Child: A Castle!

Not mom’s, not dad’s, but a castle.

Matthew Thompson is a Child Custody  Attorney in Mississippi and would also like to live in a castle.

Follow the blog: #BowTieLawyer . You may also contact Matthew with your family law case or question at (601) 850-8000 or Matthew@bowtielawyer.ms

 

Divorce, humor

A little Monday Humor; Guide to Love & Lasting Relationships

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Matthew Thompson is a Divorce attorney and reminds you that finding some humor will make a Monday better.

Follow the blog: #BowTieLawyer Visit the website: #Thompson Law Firm. You may also contact Matthew with your family law case, question or concern at (601) 850-8000 or Matthew@bowtielawyer.ms