I frequently find myself counting the minutes until lunchtime.
Salmon burger and homemade, baked chips from Adobo photo by Matthew Thompson
I often joke that lunch is the highlight of my day with the only competition being “Quittin’ Time!”
Why is lunch the highlight? It is a welcome respite for days which are routinely emotional and tough. Days in which you never know what the next call will be, how urgent, or how critical a need may be. A Lunch break allows you to decompress and recharge. Also, in my area, there are some fantastic lunch spots.
From mainstream eateries to hole-in-the-wall, off the beaten path diners, one of my hobbies is reviewing lunch spots for the website and social media powerhouse EatJxn.
Visiting different and various restaurants has resulted in new friends, exposure to new cuisine and a greater appreciation that food, instead of dividing us as my work tends to do, is a force that can bring people together. One of my favorite local spots and favorite reviews is for the Country Kitchen off of West County Line Road, in Jackson, right across the street from Tougaloo College. Other reviews may be read here, EatJXN Matthew.
Also, I love to eat.
Matthew Thompson is an Adjunct Professor teaching Domestic Relations at MC Law, a Divorce Attorney and part-time food critic. Look for him in a classroom, courtroom or dining room near you!
Follow the blog: BowTieLawyerVisit the website: Thompson Law FirmYou may also contact Matthew with your family law case, question or concern at (601) 850-8000 or Matthew@bowtielawyer.ms
Drugs, it seems, are back on the scene in a big way. Habitual Drug use is a ground for divorce. Drug use can be a bar to custody. Drug abuse is a Crime and can lead to other troubles.
Baitong333/freedigital photos.net
It’s more and more common for parties in family law cases to be drug tested. Urine, hair follicles, blood and even finger nails can be tested for drug use. Depending on the test, results can show drugs or alcohol in your system from 2 days ago up to 90 days ago. And testing “Hot” is not a good thing.
In your Family Law case the Court will put a lot of weight in a Failed Drug test when determining custody, visitation and credibility. While a Failed Drug test does not guaranty you will lose custody, it certainly does not help. It also can matter what type of drugs, how recent and quantities that the test results show.
Use, whether it is “recreational,” “just once” or “I never inhaled” can and will be used against you. Drug use can also be an element of child neglect/abuse.
Once, I was discussing visitation rights with a non-custodial parent. I made the comment, “Well, as long as you did not have a meth lab in the garage you have nothing to worry about.” The response, “What if I did?” “That’s going to be a problem…“
Now, all is not lost if you have used drugs or are using drugs, IF you STOP! Court’s like to see people “get their act together” “turn their life around” and “be productive members of society.” You can see your kids and you may even get or regain custody if you are doing all the right things.
Matthew Thompson is an Adjunct Professor teaching Domestic Relations and a Divorce Attorney. In the words of Nancy Reagan, “JUST SAY NO!”
Follow the blog: BowTieLawyerVisit the website: Thompson Law FirmYou may also contact Matthew with your family law case, question or concern at (601) 850-8000 or Matthew@bowtielawyer.ms
“Dating during your divorce is akin to playing with matches and kerosene during a forest fire.” Matthew Thompson
It is commonly asked by clients, “Can I date others?” The short answer is NO. In Mississippi divorce there is no such thing as “legal separation.” You are married until you are divorced. That means either party could get “fault grounds” against the other at any time prior to the divorce being granted. In general however, it is just a bad idea.
Dating during your Divorce is a bad idea due to the following;
Dating involves feelings and emotions which can be misfiring at that point.
It involves money and expenses and Court’s look disfavorably of spending on boyfriends and girlfriends.
It could wreak havoc on a Custody case if that “new” person is either the wrong fit for your kids or a great fit, but it does not work out.
“Rebounds” tend to take a bad bounce.
It’s an easy target for your soon to be Ex and his attorney.
You may not really know the person you’re dating.
If you have to ask your attorney if it’s okay, it probably isn’t. Now, having said that, you are still allowed to have a “life.” You can go out in groups and otherwise socialize. Just be aware of your surroundings and actions because you never know who’s watching, waiting for you to mess up.
Matthew Thompson, a Divorce Attorney and Family Law Adj. Professor at MC Law, reminds you to do your best to prevent “forest fires!”!
Follow the blog: BowTieLawyerVisit the website: Thompson Law FirmYou may also contact Matthew with your family law case, question or concern at (601) 850-8000 or Matthew@bowtielawyer.ms
Child Support is the court ordered obligation the non-custodial parent pays the custodial parent for the necessary child related expenses. Usually Dad pays it directly to Mom in a divorce situation and in paternity cases it’s more often through DHS, the Department of Human Services-Child Support Enforcement Unit. (dah-duhn) (the Law and Order “sound” being referenced just now.)
It is standard that if dad is delinquent on payments or mom seeks state benefits, opening a case with DHS will cause the monies to be redirected through DHS, and possibly a Withholding Order be issued against the payor. The law provides that DHS can do this summarily upon application with minimal notice requirements and does not require a modification of your Court Order by the Court which originally ordered it.
This is kind of a big deal. In plain English, this means that if mom says your late, DHS swings into action. They send you a letter stating you are behind, threaten to suspend your license, send a Withholding Order to your work and assume guilt automatically. This creates lots of hassle and headache when it’s not true. Additionally, when it’s not true, it takes filing an action in Court to fix it, securing an Order. There are usually no consequences for mom and she can do it again if she wants.
Well, DHS is stepping up their enforcement another notch. Mom can go in and just say, “I want him to pay through DHS.” She does not have to allege any delinquency, she does not have to apply for other state benefits. She pays $25, opens a case and dad is notified that from that point he is to pay directly to and through DHS. If dad does not pay directly, DHS will pursue contempt and arrearage against him. And DHS considers the letter, which dad may or may not have even received, as sufficient and reasonable notice to dad and treats dad’s continued payments to mom as “gifts.” All of this without formal Court involvement and in my view far short of “due process,” but nonetheless valid as of now. MCA 43-19-35, et seq.
So if you are paying child support directly and get something from DHS, DO NOT IGNORE IT. It could have serious implications on who and what you pay. Notify your attorney immediately. If you are receiving child support and are having issues with the payor, consider having it redirected through DHS. It is a much less expensive alternative to a private attorney when that deadbeat ain’t paying.
Whether you like the DHS process or not it is being enforced force and taking effect.
Matthew Thompson, a Child Support Lawyer and Family Law Adj. Professor at MC Law, encourages you to know your rights and obligations when it comes to Child Support. Pay your Support and Pay it Often!
Follow the blog: BowTieLawyerVisit the website: Thompson Law FirmYou may also contact Matthew with your family law case, question or concern at (601) 850-8000 or Matthew@bowtielawyer.ms
A Mississippi resident, who married her spouse in California, is now seeking that a Mississippi Court divorce them. The couple lived in Mississippi for some time after their marriage and ultimately separated in the Magnolia State. The case is pending in DeSoto County Chancery court and has garnered world-wide attention.
However, it may not be a walk in the park…
MS law specifically provides that a same-sex marriage is VOID. Void means it does not exist, not that it could if everything was just right. Void=nothing. The law goes on to specifically deny that MS has to recognize another state’s same-sex marriage.
MCA 93-1-1, (2) Any marriage between persons of the same gender is prohibited and null and void from the beginning. Any marriage between persons of the same gender that is valid in another jurisdiction does not constitute a legal or valid marriage in Mississippi.
Now before you bash MS too much for this, it is quite common that states have different laws regarding requirements for persons to get married in their respective states. Different laws can be allowed. For instance you can marry your niece-in-law in California, but not in Utah. And Utah does not have to recognize the CA marriage. Nothing to do with same gender on that restriction. Also, most states prohibit same-sex marriage, only 14 states allow same-sex marriage, at this time.
There are several issues that are apparent in this MS pending matter.
Issue #1. MS law, which at this time is valid and constitutional by the way, disallows their “marriage” to be recognized as a marriage. And, if no marriage, then there can be no divorce.
Issue #2. The Mississippian sued her spouse on Habitual Cruel and Inhuman Treatment. The parties had been separated for over 3 years by the time of filing which may be an indicator of limited grounds regarding cruelty, which is one of the most difficult grounds to prove. So there may not be a divorce on cruelty anyway, as the plaintiff could not meet her burden of proof.
Issue #3. The Mississippian sued her spouse for Adultery. Adultery, in Mississippi, is defined as “sexual intercourse with a person of the opposite sex, not your spouse.” Despite this being the Bible Belt, it is possible that Mrs. Defendant is in another relationship with another person, of her same sex, and is still not committing “adultery.” Technically speaking, of course.
Issue #4.The Constitution’s Full Faith & Credit clause. FF&C requires that a valid Order from one State be recognized in another. The catch is a Marriage is not an Order, but rather a contractual arrangement between the two spouses and the state that they are being married in. This means a marriage is not entitled to Full Faith and Credit. Interestingly, a divorce would be, assuming the Jurisdictional/residency requirements were met.
So, some legal mumbo-jumbo and a refrain from a little common sense results in…nothing. That is exactly what this litigant will get from Mississippi and will likely get it in abundance. Stay tuned for more developments.
Matthew Thompson is a family law attorney and domestic relations adj. professor at MC Law; Keeping you abreast of the ever-changing world of family law in which we live in.
Follow the blog: BowTieLawyerVisit the website: Thompson Law FirmYou may also contact Matthew with your family law case, question or concern at (601) 850-8000 or Matthew@bowtielawyer.ms
I have blogged recently about Why Settling Your Case is Best, avoiding Court, and Why Going to Court is “Best.” The gist of the former being settlement is preferred for having a say in the final outcome and having predictability and the latter, going to Court is best when there is no room for compromise.
Unfortunately, I have been involved in the latter, a case where there was no room for compromise. From my perspective one party was primarily the aggressor and was encouraged by the attorney to take unreasonable positions and force the matter to Court. Of course, they did not view their own positions as meritless. Also, I’m sure they thought my client and I were wretches…
Regardless, hard feelings abounded. This case had some history. What should have been a run of the mill divorce and custody matter was extremely contentious and was litigated over an issue that was not an issue. In Round One, after most of a day of trial, the Court stopped the matter and told the other side they were going to lose on their issue and the case did settle.
But, like the A-Team, they had a plan! Just a few months after it was final they decided another bite at the apple was proper. Based primarily on speculation…which was eventually admitted at Court, the other side sought to change the deal they had agreed to just months prior. Round Two in Court was based on rank speculation. After hours of testimony, haughty lecturing, and what can only be described as highly stylized testimony by the aggressive party and deeply emotional testimony by the other, the Court dismissed the case.
So, what is the take away? Sour grapes? I don’t think so, at least not on my part. It made me realize, yet again, Court is HARD. It is not fun. It is emotional. And, even when you win, nobody wins. Here’s what else can be guaranteed, when you successfully defend against baseless claims from the other side who thinks they are completely in the right when they are not, you better get ready for posturing and Round 3!
Matthew Thompson is a family law attorney and knows that sometimes even when you win you don’t win.
Follow the blog: BowTieLawyerVisit the website: Thompson Law FirmYou may also contact Matthew with your family law case, question or concern at (601) 850-8000 or Matthew@bowtielawyer.ms
This post is advice rarely given or taken. I have previously blogged on Why Settling Your Case is BEST!. Settlement is usually BEST, but sometimes Court is inevitable…
Why going to Court is Best, or the BEST alternative;
It allows you to tell your side of the story.
Somethings you CANNOT compromise on.
The Judge may be in the best position to hold someone accountable, who needs to be!
Commonly, settlement is your best option. It gives you say in the final outcome, whereas letting a Judge decide your case can remove what say you may have. Sometimes what you want and what a Judge can award are not congruent. However, sometimes what the other side wants, a judge would not give them. Going to Court can be therapeutic. Going to Court can also show that you are serious and won’t back down from a fight. Going to Court can also backfire, cost more money and end in a result that is more difficult to live with.
Matthew Thompson is a family law attorney and goes to Court often, but usually when settlement has failed or stalled.
You may contact Matthew with your family law case, question or concern at (601) 850-8000 or Matthew@bowtielawyer.ms
Let’s face it. Attorneys are stereotyped. Ambulance-chasers, Bulldogs, or Greedy are just some of the monikers that society gleefully attaches to lawyers. Some are true and deserved.
However, lawyers also stereotype themselves. Here are a few I have dealt with.
Holier Than Thou– This lawyer is usually a young female lawyer who is equally showing how tough they are, but also reasonable. They have never made a mistake and when they did it was not their fault. This lawyer also ALWAYS has the innocent spouse. The well-meaning, single mom just trying to make an honest living in this cruel, unfair world. The Holier Than Thou attorney is so “sweet” on the phone they think they are being nice. They are not.
Know It ALL– This lawyer has never met a question that could not be answered and answered at length. You seek a “yes” or “no” to a question and they give you an explanation that is mostly irrelevant and non-responsive. When you ask again they get agitated with you for not listening.
Know-Nothing– This lawyer cannot be bothered with details. Let’s throw it on the wall and see what sticks. This is all fine and good when what you want and what they will agree to are similar. This is a problem when parties’ needs are opposite.
Do Nothing – This lawyer is reactionary. Sometimes there is a good reason to react instead of blazing a trail which may be unnecessary. However, if the Do Nothing creates problems for achieving results, it’s a problem.
Bull in the China Shop – This lawyer goes with the gusto. If you can file it, file it. If it can be sued, sue. Let the Judge sort it out. That’s why they are paid the big bucks, right? So what that you sued him for contempt for something he literally paid 2 years ago and has proof of. What? Shown the cancelled check and your client’s signature on the cancelled check. Well, there’s probably something he’s in contempt of anyway, right?
Sneaky Snake– The sneaky snake is pleasant to talk to and fun to be around, but you cannot trust them or believe them. Don’t. The Order is not in the mail, they are not calling you tomorrow, they will not Agree to a date certain even though they said they would. Their client won’t “let” them.
So, which are you? Which am I? What does the situation call for? Some attorneys have a knack for being the chameleon, nice to you, mean to me, a great guy, a wonderful gal, as honest as the day is long and as crooked as a “j” hook. There are many other stereotypes. Stay tuned for more…
Matthew Thompson is a family law attorney and the best advice you can take away from this is know who you are dealing with, as best you can.
Follow the blog: BowTieLawyerVisit the website: Thompson Law FirmYou may also contact Matthew with your family law case, question or concern at (601) 850-8000 or Matthew@bowtielawyer.ms
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