Category Archives: Opinion

Predicting the Future: I see divorce proceedings against this person “?”

11/21/2013 BowTieLawyer Leave a comment

Drumroll…

In what can be the only story to top anything that Charlie Sheen or Alec Baldwin do is the Mayor of Toronto, Rob Ford’s hi-jinks.

As most of you now know, Rob Ford is the embattled Mayor of Toronto who has admitted to smoking crack, while being the Mayor of Toronto. He has publicly proclaimed a “zero tolerance” drug policy, however he has dismissed his own conduct with a very plausible explanation. He was so drunk he did not realize he was smoking crack, nor really remember it. Just as astounding has been his candor and refusal NOT to comment publicly (meaning he talks too much). I assume his attorney is cringing every time he knows that Rob Ford is awake! He has had some extremely colorful quotes – one of which is not fit to reprint, but upon accusations of sexually harassing a female co-worker, Ford denied as much and stated that he had “…more than enough to eat at home.” Wow!

Matthew Thompson is Divorce & Family Law Attorney in Mississippi and has no desire to be Mayor of Anything.

Follow the blog: BowTieLawyer Visit the website: Thompson Law Firm You may also contact Matthew with your family law case, question or concern at (601) 850-8000 or Matthew@bowtielawyer.ms

divorce, Opinion

Congratulations! You’re Divorced.

11/20/2013 BowTieLawyer Leave a comment

“Congratulations!” It’s an odd thing to think and to say at then end of a marriage.

Gold glitter letters spelling Congrats on decorated mantel with people clapping

Sometimes “congratulations” are not appropriate. Neither party is happy and it’s not what either party wanted. However, a divorce is not just the end of something. It is also the beginning of a new life. A life where even if you weren’t the spouse you should have been, you are not destined to repeat that. Perhaps you have not been the best parent, there’s time to repair those relationships. While you will still face difficulties and you will more than likely still have to deal with your ex, the control that was once there is limited and you can change bad habits.

There’s a book out called the Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg. This was recommended to me by a Business Coach named Glenn Finch with Atticus. Atticus is unique company which advises lawyers & law firms on how to standout in their field. (insert corny joke here). The Power of Habit basically notes that bad habits, while they cannot be eliminated, can be replaced. You can train your brain to react to a stimuli in a different manner than “normal” by replacing the habit.

It’s often thought that the “second-time-around-spouse” gets the “better” you. You’ve learned from your mistakes and experience is the best teacher. And sometimes, just sometimes, you got rid of someone whose mission, it seemed, was just to bring you down.

Congratulations, you are divorced.

Matthew Thompson is Divorce & Family Law Attorney in Mississippi and knows that “congratulations” is not always appropriate, but silver linings and all…

Follow the blog: BowTieLawyer Visit the website: Thompson Law Firm You may also contact Matthew with your family law case, question or concern at (601) 850-8000.

Bow Tie, General Legal, Opinion

Your Day in Court.

11/06/2013 BowTieLawyer Leave a comment

“Everyone has his day (in court) and some days last longer than others.” – Winston Churchill (a paraphrase).

I had a victory today in Court. I was in County Court of all places, somewhere that I do not frequent. It was not a family law case either. It was a dispute over money though, and I deal with that a lot. It was a fair trial, in front of a fair judge that went to great lengths to hear both sides.

“It’s funny how the outcome of Court determines whether you had ‘your day’ in Court or a ‘long day’ in Court” – Matthew Thompson

Matthew Thompson is a Family Law Professor at MC Law and a Family Law Attorney and can help you to have your day in Court.

Follow the blog: BowTieLawyer

You may also contact Matthew with your family law case, question or concern at (601) 850-8000 or Matthew@bowtielawyer.ms

Child Custody, Crime, divorce, Marriage, Opinion

The Adultery Train- All Aboard!

10/23/2013 BowTieLawyer 4 Comments

An affair plays a significant role in a large number of divorces. It is a train wreck to a relationship.

big_bad_locomotive_by_beezqp-d4mfi8t-1024x727 — Beezqp- “Big Bad Locomotive”

A sure-fire way to wreak havoc in a marriage is to have an affair. Mississippi law defines an affair or adultery as sexual intercourse, with a person of the opposite sex, not your spouse. However, due to the secretive nature of affairs you do not have to have an admission of guilt or pictures, though it helps. The ground can be proven through circumstantial evidence.

Upon a satisfactory showing of 1) inclination or infatuation, which can consist of cards, notes, emails, love letters, texts and phone records showing many calls; and 2) opportunity, which is the spouse and that other person alone together, be it in a car, house, motel, hotel, park or back alley, a Court can find that fault grounds exist. Due to this, even the whole “it’s only an emotional affair” and the “we didn’t have sex” may not be enough to stop the Adultery train from running over you.

So, why do people have affairs? They can be exciting, fun and pleasurable, at least for a little while. What leads to this? Sometimes the person is unhappy, dissatisfied, over-stressed, unloved, under-appreciated, or at least believe that they are.

The problem is the affair does not fix the problem. It only serves to make things worse. Because along with an affair comes new baggage. Guilt, secrecy, and the emotions of a third person are now commingled in your personal life. An affair not only hurts your spouse, but also you, your children and the other party. It has emotional consequences, financial consequences, custody consequences and legal consequences.

An affair is a Train wreck in the making.

Matthew Thompson is a semi-part-time Family Law Professor at MC Law and a Divorce Attorney encouraging you to avoid train wrecks!

Child Custody, Crime, divorce, General Legal, Opinion

Beer Muscles- When exercising is not OK.

10/18/2013 BowTieLawyer Leave a comment

Habitual Drunkenness is not only a fault ground for divorce, but also leads to a wide variety of family law troubles.

Alcohol (aka:booze, beer, hooch, liquor, wine, drink, the bottle) is an easy vice to turn to, especially when dealing with the emotion and anxiety of family issues. However, it seldom salves and often makes things worse. Habitual drunkenness, that is consistent alcohol use and abuse to the extent that it cause the breakdown of the marriage, is grounds for divorce. Additionally, alcohol abuse can and will be used against you in a custody determination. I am not saying that you have to be a tee-total-er, but abuse of alcohol leads to poor judgement, decreased inhibitions and legal trouble.

Alcohol contributes to domestic violence incidents, accidents, and of course DUI. The risks always outweigh the rewards.

So do you have an alcohol problem? Well, there are a few ways to tell. Have you asked yourself if you have an alcohol problem? If so, you might. Can you go without drinking? If you suspect you have an alcohol problem seek help now. It will help your family later.

Matthew Thompson is a Family Law Adj. Professor at MC Law and a Child Custody/Divorce Attorney. Drink Responsibly! (if you do).

Follow the blog: BowTieLawyer Visit the website: Thompson Law FirmYou may also contact Matthew with your family law case, question or concern at (601) 850-8000 or Matthew@bowtielawyer.ms

Child Custody, Child Support, Crime, divorce, Opinion

Never Do This in Court! (or This!)

10/14/2013 BowTieLawyer 2 Comments

Court. The most anxious, stress-filled, loss of control decision a person can make. Even with careful preparation it can be unpleasant. Without preparation it can be a nightmare!

So what should you not do in Court?

Don’t argue with the Judge. Even if the Judge is “wrong,” “mistaken,” or “backwards.” Leave the arguing to the attorney.
Don’t argue with your attorney. Short of catastrophic representation meltdown listen and heed your attorney’s advice.
Don’t argue with the other attorney. Just answer the questions asked, explaining if necessary. Personal jabs, smart-alleck responses and witty banter are not needed.

So that’s what you should not do, but what should you NEVER do?

Never give sassy responses to the Judge. This is different from arguing. Oftentimes the Judge will have questions for the witnesses. The responses and the manner given matter. For instance, in a hearing where both parents sought custody and child support, the father said that he did “NOT need ANY child support nor ANY money to care for HIS kids…” But, he then objected to having to pay any child support as he had limited income. The Court made note of his inconsistency.
Never criticize the other parent for conduct that you also do. On another occasion a parent was being especially critical of the other for “leaving” the children at day care all day and not picking them up until the “last-minute,” around 5:30. Well, this parent had also just testified they were self-employed and could get the children at any time, because his schedule was so flexible, but did not. This irked the Judge.
Never lie. (PERJURY) You will get caught. The truth is easy to remember. Remember, usually, it’s not the crime but the cover-up that gets you. The very affluent husband, with a great job, testified that he was unsure of his income, but knew his expenses down to the penny. He testified under oath that his expenses exceeded his income by over $10,000 per month. The problem? He had no debt. This situation of making $10,000 less than he was spending had been going on for months, if not years, but he always made payroll, carried no debt, had no loans and could not explain how this could be. Perhaps he had a money tree out back. The Judge imputed income and based his obligations on what he stated his expenses were and what apparently his income was.

Matthew Thompson is an Adjunct Professor- Domestic Relations at MC Law and a Family Law Lawyer. Don’t do these things in Court if you know what’s good for you!

Follow the blog: BowTieLawyer Visit the website: Thompson Law FirmYou may also contact Matthew with your family law case, question or concern at (601) 850-8000 or Matthew@bowtielawyer.ms

Food Related, General Legal, Opinion

LUNCH! The highlight of the day.

10/11/2013 BowTieLawyer Leave a comment

I frequently find myself counting the minutes until lunchtime.

Salmon 2 — Salmon burger and homemade, baked chips from Adobo
photo by Matthew Thompson

I often joke that lunch is the highlight of my day with the only competition being “Quittin’ Time!”

Why is lunch the highlight? It is a welcome respite for days which are routinely emotional and tough. Days in which you never know what the next call will be, how urgent, or how critical a need may be. A Lunch break allows you to decompress and recharge. Also, in my area, there are some fantastic lunch spots.

From mainstream eateries to hole-in-the-wall, off the beaten path diners, one of my hobbies is reviewing lunch spots for the website and social media powerhouse EatJxn.

Visiting different and various restaurants has resulted in new friends, exposure to new cuisine and a greater appreciation that food, instead of dividing us as my work tends to do, is a force that can bring people together. One of my favorite local spots and favorite reviews is for the Country Kitchen off of West County Line Road, in Jackson, right across the street from Tougaloo College. Other reviews may be read here, EatJXN Matthew.

Also, I love to eat.

Matthew Thompson is an Adjunct Professor teaching Domestic Relations at MC Law, a Divorce Attorney and part-time food critic. Look for him in a classroom, courtroom or dining room near you!

Follow the blog: BowTieLawyer Visit the website: Thompson Law Firm You may also contact Matthew with your family law case, question or concern at (601) 850-8000

Child Custody, Child Support, Crime, divorce, Modifications, Opinion

Drugs, Sex & Rock-n-Roll…No, Just DRUGS.

10/09/2013 BowTieLawyer Leave a comment

Drugs, it seems, are back on the scene in a big way. Habitual Drug use is a ground for divorce. Drug use can be a bar to custody. Drug abuse is a Crime and can lead to other troubles.

It’s more and more common for parties in family law cases to be drug tested. Urine, hair follicles, blood and even finger nails can be tested for drug use. Depending on the test, results can show drugs or alcohol in your system from 2 days ago up to 90 days ago. And testing “Hot” is not a good thing.

In your Family Law case the Court will put a lot of weight in a Failed Drug test when determining custody, visitation and credibility. While a Failed Drug test does not guaranty you will lose custody, it certainly does not help. It also can matter what type of drugs, how recent and quantities that the test results show.

Use, whether it is “recreational,” “just once” or “I never inhaled” can and will be used against you. Drug use can also be an element of child neglect/abuse.

Once, I was discussing visitation rights with a non-custodial parent. I made the comment, “Well, as long as you did not have a meth lab in the garage you have nothing to worry about.” The response, “What if I did?” “That’s going to be a problem…“

Now, all is not lost if you have used drugs or are using drugs, IF you STOP! Court’s like to see people “get their act together” “turn their life around” and “be productive members of society.” You can see your kids and you may even get or regain custody if you are doing all the right things.

Matthew Thompson is an Adjunct Professor teaching Domestic Relations and a Divorce Attorney. In the words of Nancy Reagan, “JUST SAY NO!”

Follow the blog: BowTieLawyer Visit the website: Thompson Law FirmYou may also contact Matthew with your family law case, question or concern at (601) 850-8000 or Matthew@bowtielawyer.ms