“Dating during your divorce is akin to playing with matches and kerosene during a forest fire.” Matthew Thompson
It is commonly asked by clients, “Can I date others?” The short answer is NO. In Mississippi divorce there is no such thing as “legal separation.” You are married until you are divorced. That means either party could get “fault grounds” against the other at any time prior to the divorce being granted. In general however, it is just a bad idea.
Dating during your Divorce is a bad idea due to the following;
Dating involves feelings and emotions which can be misfiring at that point.
It involves money and expenses and Court’s look disfavorably of spending on boyfriends and girlfriends.
It could wreak havoc on a Custody case if that “new” person is either the wrong fit for your kids or a great fit, but it does not work out.
“Rebounds” tend to take a bad bounce.
It’s an easy target for your soon to be Ex and his attorney.
You may not really know the person you’re dating.
If you have to ask your attorney if it’s okay, it probably isn’t. Now, having said that, you are still allowed to have a “life.” You can go out in groups and otherwise socialize. Just be aware of your surroundings and actions because you never know who’s watching, waiting for you to mess up.
Matthew Thompson, a Divorce Attorney and Family Law Adj. Professor at MC Law, reminds you to do your best to prevent “forest fires!”!
Follow the blog: BowTieLawyerVisit the website: Thompson Law FirmYou may also contact Matthew with your family law case, question or concern at (601) 850-8000 or Matthew@bowtielawyer.ms
Child Support is the court ordered obligation the non-custodial parent pays the custodial parent for the necessary child related expenses. Usually Dad pays it directly to Mom in a divorce situation and in paternity cases it’s more often through DHS, the Department of Human Services-Child Support Enforcement Unit. (dah-duhn) (the Law and Order “sound” being referenced just now.)
It is standard that if dad is delinquent on payments or mom seeks state benefits, opening a case with DHS will cause the monies to be redirected through DHS, and possibly a Withholding Order be issued against the payor. The law provides that DHS can do this summarily upon application with minimal notice requirements and does not require a modification of your Court Order by the Court which originally ordered it.
This is kind of a big deal. In plain English, this means that if mom says your late, DHS swings into action. They send you a letter stating you are behind, threaten to suspend your license, send a Withholding Order to your work and assume guilt automatically. This creates lots of hassle and headache when it’s not true. Additionally, when it’s not true, it takes filing an action in Court to fix it, securing an Order. There are usually no consequences for mom and she can do it again if she wants.
Well, DHS is stepping up their enforcement another notch. Mom can go in and just say, “I want him to pay through DHS.” She does not have to allege any delinquency, she does not have to apply for other state benefits. She pays $25, opens a case and dad is notified that from that point he is to pay directly to and through DHS. If dad does not pay directly, DHS will pursue contempt and arrearage against him. And DHS considers the letter, which dad may or may not have even received, as sufficient and reasonable notice to dad and treats dad’s continued payments to mom as “gifts.” All of this without formal Court involvement and in my view far short of “due process,” but nonetheless valid as of now. MCA 43-19-35, et seq.
So if you are paying child support directly and get something from DHS, DO NOT IGNORE IT. It could have serious implications on who and what you pay. Notify your attorney immediately. If you are receiving child support and are having issues with the payor, consider having it redirected through DHS. It is a much less expensive alternative to a private attorney when that deadbeat ain’t paying.
Whether you like the DHS process or not it is being enforced force and taking effect.
Matthew Thompson, a Child Support Lawyer and Family Law Adj. Professor at MC Law, encourages you to know your rights and obligations when it comes to Child Support. Pay your Support and Pay it Often!
Follow the blog: BowTieLawyerVisit the website: Thompson Law FirmYou may also contact Matthew with your family law case, question or concern at (601) 850-8000 or Matthew@bowtielawyer.ms
A Mississippi resident, who married her spouse in California, is now seeking that a Mississippi Court divorce them. The couple lived in Mississippi for some time after their marriage and ultimately separated in the Magnolia State. The case is pending in DeSoto County Chancery court and has garnered world-wide attention.
However, it may not be a walk in the park…
MS law specifically provides that a same-sex marriage is VOID. Void means it does not exist, not that it could if everything was just right. Void=nothing. The law goes on to specifically deny that MS has to recognize another state’s same-sex marriage.
MCA 93-1-1, (2) Any marriage between persons of the same gender is prohibited and null and void from the beginning. Any marriage between persons of the same gender that is valid in another jurisdiction does not constitute a legal or valid marriage in Mississippi.
Now before you bash MS too much for this, it is quite common that states have different laws regarding requirements for persons to get married in their respective states. Different laws can be allowed. For instance you can marry your niece-in-law in California, but not in Utah. And Utah does not have to recognize the CA marriage. Nothing to do with same gender on that restriction. Also, most states prohibit same-sex marriage, only 14 states allow same-sex marriage, at this time.
There are several issues that are apparent in this MS pending matter.
Issue #1. MS law, which at this time is valid and constitutional by the way, disallows their “marriage” to be recognized as a marriage. And, if no marriage, then there can be no divorce.
Issue #2. The Mississippian sued her spouse on Habitual Cruel and Inhuman Treatment. The parties had been separated for over 3 years by the time of filing which may be an indicator of limited grounds regarding cruelty, which is one of the most difficult grounds to prove. So there may not be a divorce on cruelty anyway, as the plaintiff could not meet her burden of proof.
Issue #3. The Mississippian sued her spouse for Adultery. Adultery, in Mississippi, is defined as “sexual intercourse with a person of the opposite sex, not your spouse.” Despite this being the Bible Belt, it is possible that Mrs. Defendant is in another relationship with another person, of her same sex, and is still not committing “adultery.” Technically speaking, of course.
Issue #4.The Constitution’s Full Faith & Credit clause. FF&C requires that a valid Order from one State be recognized in another. The catch is a Marriage is not an Order, but rather a contractual arrangement between the two spouses and the state that they are being married in. This means a marriage is not entitled to Full Faith and Credit. Interestingly, a divorce would be, assuming the Jurisdictional/residency requirements were met.
So, some legal mumbo-jumbo and a refrain from a little common sense results in…nothing. That is exactly what this litigant will get from Mississippi and will likely get it in abundance. Stay tuned for more developments.
Matthew Thompson is a family law attorney and domestic relations adj. professor at MC Law; Keeping you abreast of the ever-changing world of family law in which we live in.
Follow the blog: BowTieLawyerVisit the website: Thompson Law FirmYou may also contact Matthew with your family law case, question or concern at (601) 850-8000 or Matthew@bowtielawyer.ms
I have blogged recently about Why Settling Your Case is Best, avoiding Court, and Why Going to Court is “Best.” The gist of the former being settlement is preferred for having a say in the final outcome and having predictability and the latter, going to Court is best when there is no room for compromise.
Unfortunately, I have been involved in the latter, a case where there was no room for compromise. From my perspective one party was primarily the aggressor and was encouraged by the attorney to take unreasonable positions and force the matter to Court. Of course, they did not view their own positions as meritless. Also, I’m sure they thought my client and I were wretches…
Regardless, hard feelings abounded. This case had some history. What should have been a run of the mill divorce and custody matter was extremely contentious and was litigated over an issue that was not an issue. In Round One, after most of a day of trial, the Court stopped the matter and told the other side they were going to lose on their issue and the case did settle.
But, like the A-Team, they had a plan! Just a few months after it was final they decided another bite at the apple was proper. Based primarily on speculation…which was eventually admitted at Court, the other side sought to change the deal they had agreed to just months prior. Round Two in Court was based on rank speculation. After hours of testimony, haughty lecturing, and what can only be described as highly stylized testimony by the aggressive party and deeply emotional testimony by the other, the Court dismissed the case.
So, what is the take away? Sour grapes? I don’t think so, at least not on my part. It made me realize, yet again, Court is HARD. It is not fun. It is emotional. And, even when you win, nobody wins. Here’s what else can be guaranteed, when you successfully defend against baseless claims from the other side who thinks they are completely in the right when they are not, you better get ready for posturing and Round 3!
Matthew Thompson is a family law attorney and knows that sometimes even when you win you don’t win.
Follow the blog: BowTieLawyerVisit the website: Thompson Law FirmYou may also contact Matthew with your family law case, question or concern at (601) 850-8000 or Matthew@bowtielawyer.ms
This post is advice rarely given or taken. I have previously blogged on Why Settling Your Case is BEST!. Settlement is usually BEST, but sometimes Court is inevitable…
Why going to Court is Best, or the BEST alternative;
It allows you to tell your side of the story.
Somethings you CANNOT compromise on.
The Judge may be in the best position to hold someone accountable, who needs to be!
Commonly, settlement is your best option. It gives you say in the final outcome, whereas letting a Judge decide your case can remove what say you may have. Sometimes what you want and what a Judge can award are not congruent. However, sometimes what the other side wants, a judge would not give them. Going to Court can be therapeutic. Going to Court can also show that you are serious and won’t back down from a fight. Going to Court can also backfire, cost more money and end in a result that is more difficult to live with.
Matthew Thompson is a family law attorney and goes to Court often, but usually when settlement has failed or stalled.
You may contact Matthew with your family law case, question or concern at (601) 850-8000 or Matthew@bowtielawyer.ms
Let’s face it. Attorneys are stereotyped. Ambulance-chasers, Bulldogs, or Greedy are just some of the monikers that society gleefully attaches to lawyers. Some are true and deserved.
However, lawyers also stereotype themselves. Here are a few I have dealt with.
Holier Than Thou– This lawyer is usually a young female lawyer who is equally showing how tough they are, but also reasonable. They have never made a mistake and when they did it was not their fault. This lawyer also ALWAYS has the innocent spouse. The well-meaning, single mom just trying to make an honest living in this cruel, unfair world. The Holier Than Thou attorney is so “sweet” on the phone they think they are being nice. They are not.
Know It ALL– This lawyer has never met a question that could not be answered and answered at length. You seek a “yes” or “no” to a question and they give you an explanation that is mostly irrelevant and non-responsive. When you ask again they get agitated with you for not listening.
Know-Nothing– This lawyer cannot be bothered with details. Let’s throw it on the wall and see what sticks. This is all fine and good when what you want and what they will agree to are similar. This is a problem when parties’ needs are opposite.
Do Nothing – This lawyer is reactionary. Sometimes there is a good reason to react instead of blazing a trail which may be unnecessary. However, if the Do Nothing creates problems for achieving results, it’s a problem.
Bull in the China Shop – This lawyer goes with the gusto. If you can file it, file it. If it can be sued, sue. Let the Judge sort it out. That’s why they are paid the big bucks, right? So what that you sued him for contempt for something he literally paid 2 years ago and has proof of. What? Shown the cancelled check and your client’s signature on the cancelled check. Well, there’s probably something he’s in contempt of anyway, right?
Sneaky Snake– The sneaky snake is pleasant to talk to and fun to be around, but you cannot trust them or believe them. Don’t. The Order is not in the mail, they are not calling you tomorrow, they will not Agree to a date certain even though they said they would. Their client won’t “let” them.
So, which are you? Which am I? What does the situation call for? Some attorneys have a knack for being the chameleon, nice to you, mean to me, a great guy, a wonderful gal, as honest as the day is long and as crooked as a “j” hook. There are many other stereotypes. Stay tuned for more…
Matthew Thompson is a family law attorney and the best advice you can take away from this is know who you are dealing with, as best you can.
Follow the blog: BowTieLawyerVisit the website: Thompson Law FirmYou may also contact Matthew with your family law case, question or concern at (601) 850-8000 or Matthew@bowtielawyer.ms
August 28 is a day of note. It is National Bow Tie Day!
“Bow Ties are believed to have originated among Croatian Mercenaries during the Prussian wars of the 17th century. These Croat mercenaries used a ‘scarf’ around the neck to tie the opening of their shirts. This was soon adopted by the French upper classes in form of the cravat. From there the neck-ware flourished in the 18th and 19th centuries.” http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bow_tie
“It is uncertain whether the cravat then evolved into the bow tie AND necktie, or whether the cravat gave rise to the bow tie, which in turn led to the necktie.” Id.
I celebrated the day by wearing a bow tie to Court. It probably had no impact on the outcome, but the judge made a comment about it. He has “worn one once or twice,” but has not mastered tying one, just yet.
The bow tie is frequently a topic of conversation. I was recently told that only 2 types of people wear bow ties; 1) law professors and 2) clowns. The person saying this, I think, was trying to make a mild insult. They asked which was I. I responded with “law school professor.” It’s true.
I don’t really hate being a lawyer. Most days I enjoy it. It can be rewarding emotionally, financially, even spiritually, but…
pastemagazione.com/ Better Call Saul
being a lawyer has its downsides.
For one, we have to deal with OTHER LAWYERS. Other lawyers do things differently than you do them. They are slow, they don’t do what they say they will, they tell you things that are just wrong and they give their clients crummy advice.
All of our CLIENTS HAVE PROBLEMS. That is why they are seeing you. Lawyers purposely make other people’s problems their own!
All Lawyers are NOT RICH. What?!! They never told you that before law school. Lawyers struggle to find their niche’, find their market and some just don’t like being lawyers.
JUDGES. Judges judge you. They judge me. That’s their job, but some let it go to their head. A Judge’s attitude alone can make or break a Court experience, even with the same outcome.
CHURCH COMMITTEES. Being a lawyer gets you the hot seat for every church, social, civic and community committee in known existence. You are automatically the chairperson and the questions never stop.
DOCTORS. Doctors don’t like lawyers. Sure, I have some doctor friends, but I have to tell them that I DO NOT sue doctors. (That’s not entirely true, as I do sue doctors that cheat on their spouses…)
We have to CHARGE $. Lawyers cannot afford to take your case for free. (see #3, above). I tell potential clients that I cannot afford to do it for free and that if they find one that will you better watch out for getting what you “paid” for. Most people deserve to have a lawyer. Most lawyers deserve to be paid.
FRIENDS that just have 1) question. It will only take a minute…
NOT KNOWING THE ANSWER. Of course lawyers don’t know every answer to every possible question. I tell people when I don’t know something. Yes, I am still a lawyer.
MANY CLIENTS. To be a successful lawyer you must have clients. Because of this you must have multiple clients. The downside is sometimes a client, a person you genuinely care for and want to help, has to wait on you. This is tough. It is a balancing act. You, as a lawyer, cannot be in 2 places at once. Most clients understand. Some do not.
Matthew Thompson is a family law attorney in Mississippi and enjoys being a lawyer most days.
