Tears at the custody/visitation exchange are normal. Usually, 5 minutes after the exchange all is back to normal. The tears do not mean that they genuinely fear the other parent, or worse, or that they only want to be with just one parent. They are a child.
As a parent of that child your primary responsibility should be to comfort the child! You should not make the situation worse by being pouty, confrontational or making statements that inflame the situation. You should not toy with the child’s emotion on whether they can stay just a little while longer.
Instead you should fake happiness for the child that they get to spend time with the other parent. For example, “Look Little Johnny, mommy is here. You and mommy are going to have so much fun and I’ll see you again real soon!” Do this while helping the child get in the car and make sure he or she has their stuff. That’s it.
That’s how exchanges should go. If you, as a parent, are not helping, then you are the problem. Try to ease the anxiety for your child. Put your own selfishness aside and stop the hate of the other parent for about 3 minutes.
Getting your child to tell the other parent what “they” want, when we all know it’s really what you want is damaging as well. It’s not an accomplishment to get a child to say something. It’s easy. What apparently is not easy is being a decent human being. Try it. You may just have a happier child and a happier life.
Matthew Thompson is a Child Custody attorney and advises his clients to do the right thing and what is best for the child EVERY time.
Follow the blog: #BowTieLawyerVisit the website: #Thompson Law Firm. You may also contact Matthew with your family law case, question or concern at (601) 850-8000 or Matthew@bowtielawyer.ms
Oftentimes we think a new year is a new beginning, or at least it should be. But, alas, people will constantly disappoint you…
More Bad Parenting:
Refusing to allow the other parent to SPEAK to the child. Literally interfering with phone calls, turning the phone off and lying about not knowing why they “don’t ever call.”
Calling when you know they are unavailable. Well, at least you called, right? We know when they are at work, or driving through the dead zone between here and Mobile. Call then, don’t leave a message.
Waiting until you find out the plans the other parent made and then making your own to conflict with them being able to pick-up or drop-off and still keep their plans. How clever.
The Other parent finding out the child is on an out-of-town trip with another family after the child has left. Pay no attention to Joint Legal custody requirements. It’s all about your convenience. It was a free trip. Last minute even. Who has the time to inform the other parent?
Not giving them gifts from the other parent. They took the time, effort and thought to provide a present and you forgot it in the trunk and, well, that’s not your problem…
Not listing the Other parent on school and medical forms. That will show them. They are not a “real” parent.
Matthew Thompson is a Child Custody attorney and warns that Judge’s don’t appreciate this garbage.
Follow the blog: #BowTieLawyer #Thompson Law Firm. You may also contact Matthew with your family law case, question or concern at (601) 850- 8000 or Matthew@bowtielawyer.ms
Mom and Dad get a divorce. Things go okay. A few years later they decide we can make some changes. Dad gets a little more time, Mom “agrees” to a little less money…
pakorn freedigital photos.net
The Court process takes too long. Attorneys cost too much. Plus, Mom and Dad agreed! They switch to a week-on, week-off custody arrangement. The kids are older, it works. Dad starts paying support directly for the benefit of the kids. He pays for the child’s car and insurance, and picks up health insurance which was previously mom’s responsibility. Dad does not pay mom directly. It’s about the same money, probably. What could go wrong?
Court Orders may only be modified by other Court Orders. Once an Order is issued and in place the parties are bound to follow it. This is so ironclad that the Court has a mechanism in place to enforce its Orders that can result in the breaching party having to pay fines and/or go to jail. This process is called Contempt. If you are not following the Order in your case, you are subject to a Contempt Petition being filed by the other party.
But if we agreed what’s the big deal? The big deal is that the new Agreement is not worth the paper it’s not written on, if not approved by the Judge.
At some point in the future, and it never fails, Mom and Dad have a falling out, again. Mom goes to an attorney and tells him that Dad has not paid child support in two years. Mom sues Dad for Contempt for all of the “back” support and then “un-agrees” to the custody change and goes back to an every other weekend schedule for visitation. Dad counter sues for a custody modification seeking custody now due to mom’s change and contempt over the health insurance issue. The only sure thing now is that each may well be in contempt and the Court is left to sort it out.
If you modify your Order/Agreement do it in writing, signed and approved by the Court. It’s the only way to guaranty that the Agreement is enforceable and for protection from being subject to Contempt for not doing what was in the prior Order.
Matthew Thompson is a Family Law Attorney in Mississippi that handles Modification of Custody and Contempt actions for failure to pay child support and reminds you to pay your support early, often and keep good records!
There could be a law school class; Charlie Sheen and the Law.
Charlie on Restraining Orders:
“Great. I was already planning on staying 100 parsecs away from her.” (A parsec is a unit of length equaling 3.26 light-years.)
Charlie on being “Bi-Polar:”
“I’m bi-winning. I win here and I win there. Now what? If I’m bipolar, aren’t there moments where a guy like crashes in the corner like, ‘Oh my God, it’s all my mom’s fault!’ Shut up! Shut up! Stop! Move forward.
Charlie on suing CBS:
“They’re trying to destroy my family, so I take great umbrage with that. And defeat is not an option. They picked a fight with a warlock.”
Charlie on why he is a “Winner:”
“I’m sorry, man, but I’ve got magic. I’ve got poetry in my fingertips. Most of the time — and this includes naps — I’m an F-18, bro. And I will destroy you in the air. I will deploy my ordinance to the ground.“
Charlie on Drugs:
“I am on a drug. It’s called Charlie Sheen. It’s not available because if you try it once you will die. Your face will melt off and your children will weep over your exploded body. It’s too much.”
Matthew Thompson is a Family Law Attorney in Mississippi and has not met Charlie Sheen.
Follow the blog: #BowTieLawyerVisit the website: #Thompson Law FirmYou may also contact Matthew with your family law matter or question at (601) 850-8000 or Matthew@bowtielawyer.ms
“I believe that what we become depends on what our fathers teach us at odd moments, when they aren’t trying to teach us. We are formed by little scraps of wisdom.”
The movies are fine, but I’m talking about live action theatre.
There’s something really amazing and endearing about witnessing a live performance. Watching the story come to life in three dimensions is an experience that even the highest definition cannot capture.
The Lion King, Peter Pan, The Little Mermaid or Mary Poppins, it does not matter. Broadway or a high school production, all offer something to enjoy.
You don’t have to be highfalutin or in a tux and tales to enjoy. And in my experience your kids rise to the occasion and really enjoy it!
I am frequently asked about things a divorced parent can do during their weekend with the children.
It’s easy to run out of things “to do.” And the constant eating out, movies and going to the store can get expensive. Quickly! Here are a few things that you can do;
Celebrate Holidays you don’t “get.” Literally, Christmas in July.
Camping Out, even if just in the backyard.
Breakfast for Dinner, a time-honored tradition.
You are only limited by your imagination. Having all the money in the world doesn’t make you a great parent. Making the most with the time you have does.
Matthew Thompson is a Family Law Attorney and advises his clients to make having a great relationship with your children priority #1.
(601) 850-8000 - - BowTieLawyer.MS 