“Splitting the Baby” is a phrase that has taken root in our lexicon. It references King Solomon’s decision where two mothers were embroiled in a “custody battle” over a child, each claiming the child to be their own. 1 Kings 3:16 KJV
In family law courts, oftentimes the Judges compare themselves to Solomon when making decisions. These Judges must make tough decisions based testimony and evidence that are frequently in stark contrast depending upon which party was offering up the facts and proof.
In the Biblical Custody Battle, King Solomon was faced with one infant and two mothers. Solomon did not know which woman was the child’s real mother, so he arranged a test to see if he could determine the true mother. In Solomon’s case, the real mother was willing to let the other woman have her child in order to spare his life, while the other woman (whose own baby previously died) agreed with King Solomon that the baby should be cut in two, with each woman receiving half. The real mother in King Solomon’s court was willing to make the ultimate sacrifice of giving the child up, so that he might live. The Holy Bible, King James Version, 1 Kings 3:16.
These days, however, it seems that when we talk about “splitting the baby” we are referencing making decisions that leave both parties unhappy. I have heard a Judge say that if both parties leave unhappy then they must have gotten the result right. There may be some instances where this holds true, however there was no splitting in the Biblical version of Solomon’s decision.
Splitting the baby may be the solution if it’s not an actual baby. But the wisdom of Solomon is remembered, celebrated, and often cited because he, in fact, did not split the baby.
Thompson Law Firm, pllc Matthew Thompson (601) 850-8000
With Thanksgiving and Christmas quickly approaching, it is always a good idea to be vigilant in protecting your identity. Along with serious shopping comes a serious chance of having your identity stolen.
stockimages /freedigitalphotos.net
Clients frequently inquire about what can be done about stolen identity and fraudulent charges. The following are steps you should take immediately.
(1) Contact the local police department and file a report of the theft. Be sure to take as much documentation of the ID theft as you can. *(Not all police stations will want to take the report, but the Federal Trade Commission has a Staff Memorandum to Police on the Importance of Taking Identity Theft Police Reports which may be helpful in having the report filed.)
(2) Contact any creditors for the accounts that you believe have been corrupted or fraudulently opened.
a. Ask to speak with the Fraud or Security Department and inform them of the theft. Some companies accept an Identity Theft Affidavit, but some require particular documentation to be provided. Be sure to obtain the specific address to which a dispute letter or ID Theft Affidavit should be mailed. Follow up the conversation with a letter.
b. Request that the company provide all documents underlying the fraudulent activity. By law the Fair Credit Reporting Act section 609(e), provides that creditors must give you a copy of the application or other business transaction records relating to your identity theft free of charge. Creditors must provide these records within thirty (30) days of receipt of your request. In order to obtain these records, you must mail your request to the address chosen by the creditor. Contact the creditor’s fraud department by telephone to find out if the creditor has chosen a specific address.
c. If someone is misusing your existing checking account, accounts, or electronic funds transfers, such as your debit card, you should dispute in writing any charges run up by the identity thief on those accounts. Insist on having debits reinstated. Ask the representative to send you the company’s fraud dispute forms. Dispute any bad checks passed in your name with merchants so they do not start collections actions against you.
(3) Contact the Fraud Department the credit reporting agencies (CRAs). Inform them that you are an identity theft victim and that you wish to place a fraud alert on you file, as well as a victim’s statement requesting a call to you by the credit bureaus before opening or changing credit accounts. An initial 90-day fraud alert will be placed, and this can be extended to 7-years, or a credit freeze can be placed. (As soon as the credit bureau confirms your fraud alert, the other two credit bureaus will be automatically notified to place fraud alerts, and all three credit reports will be sent to you free of charge. The victim should receive confirmation letters from all three CRAs confirming the 90-day fraud alert. If no letter is received, the individual CRA should be contacted, and the victim may be asked to provide additional proof of the identity theft.)
The three major credit agencies and their contact information are:
1. Equifax
For Fraud Alerts, call: 800‑525‑6285 and write:
P.O. Box 740241, Atlanta, GA 30374‑0241
2. Experian
For Fraud Alerts, call: 888‑EXPERIAN (397‑3742) and write:
P.O. Box 9530, Allen TX 75013
3. TransUnion
For Fraud Alerts, call: 800‑680‑7289 and write:
Fraud Victim Assistance Division, P.O. Box 6790, Fullerton, CA 92634
(4) Each CRA will provide a free credit report. The victim should review the report. The victim should review the reports for errors. If there are errors the victim will need to contact the CRAs in order to correct the credit reports. The CRAs are required to block fraudulent items that the consumer did not open or that the consumer did not make. Attempting to have the report corrected can be initiated by the victim sending an Identity Theft Report (police report), letter explaining what is fraudulent (highlight areas on the report), and proof of identity.
(5) File a report with the Federal Trade Commission (FTC) on their Identity Theft Hotline at 1‑877‑IDTHEFT(1‑877‑438‑4338) or their website at www.consumer.gov/idtheft.
(6) Contact the Consumer Protection Division of the Mississippi Attorney General’s Officeand request an ID Theft Packet at 1‑800‑281‑4418. Complete the ID Theft Affidavit in the packet and return it to this address:
(7) Once the identity theft dispute has been resolved with the creditor, ask for a letter from the creditor stating that they have closed the disputed accounts and have discharged you of the fraudulent debts. This letter is the best proof if errors relating to this account reappear on your credit report or the victim is mistakenly contacted again about the fraudulent debt. Keep old files. Although most cases once resolved, stay resolved, in some cases, problems can crop up again.
*Meridian attorney Amanda Evans provided this insightful primer on what to do.
Matthew Thompson is Domestic Relations Lawyer in Mississippi and reminds you to be smart when you shop in stores and online.
Follow the blog: BowTieLawyerVisit the website: Thompson Law FirmYou may also contact Matthew with your family law case, question or concern at (601) 850-8000 or Matthew@bowtielawyer.ms
Unfortunately, disappointment is a part of life. It can also be a major part of family law cases. Most often in a family law case, someone is going through just about the most difficult thing they do as an adult when dealing with a divorce/custody matter. Either they have done something, or their spouse has, which has caused significant upheaval, loss of trust and despair A large part of family law includes helping someone cope with those feelings and emotions.
While there is no easy answer on how to cope, there are a number of things that can be done to promote healing.
Seek Counseling. I recommend counseling to almost every client. This is NOT because I think something is wrong with them. It is because Counselors are people who have expertise in dealing with persons going through emotional crisis. A lawyer can deal with a legal crisis, and some are good at the emotional issues too, but all are not. A counselor can help and they have often heard and dealt with a similar circumstance. Counseling can be with a licensed counselor, a religious leader or a sage friend with experience.
Keep a Routine. Keeping a routine can help more than you think. A recent study showed that persons who made their bed each morning were more organized and felt better about themselves throughout the day. This routine made their day better. This is something easy to do and it only takes 2 minutes, but can make a difference in how you feel. I encourage my clients to get in a routine and keep it. I encourage them to continue their exercise regimen or start one. Let’s Go Walking (a la Haley Barbour!). I also encourage them to eat the right stuff. While this may sound dumb or not my business – a family law matter concerns mind, body, and spirit.
Listen to Your Attorney. One of the easiest things to say and hardest to do is to follow the advice of your attorney. Ideally, you are working with an attorney that has handled many situations, which have been similar to yours. Just like you, attorneys learn from experience. Hire one that knows what they are doing and then take their advice. This one factor alone is worthy of its own blog…
Disappointment is a part of life and, seemingly, a large part of family law. Effectively dealing with the “bumps” in the road will help you get back on track.
Tie a basic overhand knot (right over left) and pull the knot to the center of your shirt neck.
Fold the right side of the bow so that the “left bow” is doubled and the “right bow” is a single layer. The fold on the “left bow” becomes the far edge of the bow tie.
Place the center of the bow on the knot in the center of the shirt neck.
Pull the left side of the bow over the middle of the bow and knot. Hanging straight down.
Snap the bow closed and hold the bow in place.
Lightly pull the closed bow to reveal a small hole behind the bow, but in front of the knot.
Fold the left side, which is now the “back bow” while pushing the “back right bow” through the small hole.
Once through, pull the front left bow and back right bow to straighten and tighten the bow tie.
It does not have to look perfect, and a little imperfection can be “on purpose” because you tied it yourself.
The clever title to this blog was proposed by an attorney friend of mine that handles some family law matters, but practices extensively in other areas of law.
We were discussing what gets them off track. The parties, after getting over the initial shock of divorce, decide they will be adults and agree. They think they can agree to the divorce and resolve their differences. After all, they did manage to get along for 9 years, have two kids and bought a house. What could go wrong? Perhaps they searched online and looked at divorceyourself.com. A very risky idea!
Well, the old adage that the devil is in the details is never truer than in divorce. The No Fault idea gets derailed when the fellow realizes he will have to pay 20% of his income towards child support, plus health insurance and alimony. Yikes! He realizes it’s cheaper to keep her. (sorry for the cliché) The wife gets squirrely when she realizes that her half of the retirement account is consumed by balancing the equity in the house, or that the money she gets cannot be realized without significant tax consequences.
Parties to a divorce don’t realize child support is until 21, not 18 in Mississippi. They don’t know the types of custody, or what that means. They agree to things that they cannot legally agree to and fail to consider the consequences. They agree to “legal terms” that do not exist in Mississippi law, because they saw it online. And lastly, one of them is finally convinced to see an attorney by a close friend or family member and when they do and realize the consequences of what they were about to do and back out, the other side becomes angry and backs out too. All of a sudden an easy deal becomes complicated, expensive and adversarial.
Unless you live in a cave, or in the path of Hurricane Sandy, you have heard about the CIA director’s recent revelation that he was having an affair. It resulted in his immediate resignation which was accepted by the White House. While the full details will likely never be known, the fact remains that the head of the CIA, arguably a person who could keep a secret, had a big secret of his own exposed. (I realize conspiracy theories abound as to why, but that’s not the point.)
I am often asked what are some signs of an Affair. Below are some common red flags to look for;
Guarded of the Cell Phone. The phone is password protected and/or never off of their person.
A Second Cell Phone. They have a 2nd phone without a need or the other phone is secret.
Change in Attire. The spouse is dressing in trendier clothes or “younger” or more “revealing” clothes.
New Undies. Provocative undergarments appear that you don’t see in use.
Working out. A sudden change in their workout regimen, without a scare from the Dr. and it’s not New Year’s Day.
Body Grooming. Manscaping, or new cologne, perfumes, etc.
Tanning. A sudden desire to tan.
Teeth Whitening. All of a sudden caring about hygiene when they previously did not so much.
Body Augmentation. Having lifts or lipos.
New Career. A career shift that is out of the ordinary.
Longer Work Hours. Having to work late, a lot more often, and out-of-town travel when they previously did not.
Unexplained Absences. Going to the store for some milk and being gone 6 hours.
Bad On-Line Habits. Surfing at all hours of the night, deleting the browser history.
FaceBooking Old Flames.
Financial Shenanigans. Raiding joint accounts or creating new accounts and directing their monies to those.
If you see a number of these warning signs, keep your eyes and ears open, your wits about you and go see an attorney.
Matthew Thompson is a family law attorney in Mississippi and believes if the CIA can’t cover up an affair, you probably can’t either.
Depositions are routinely taken in lawsuits, and are common in family law cases. A deposition is a part of the “discovery” process where the parties or a witness are asked questions, under oath, outside of Court, so that the attorney will know what they will say when in Court. You have heard the old maxim that an attorney should never ask a question that he doesn’t know the answer to, well the deposition is the mechanism where you can ask that question. A wide variety of questions may be asked in the depositions even those that likely would not be relevant in Court.
Depositions are usually at the attorney’s office. The attorneys, the parties and a Court reporter are typically the only persons in attendance. Depositions are transcribed and may be videotaped.
Questions about the witnesses education, work, finances and efforts with regards to the children are all fair game. The dirty details of fault are also fair game. Naming names and being specific are part of the process too. Depositions are a tool to gain information as well as pin witnesses or parties down on what their “story” is so that it does not “change” later.
I had an instance where I took the father’s deposition in a custody modification case. Both parties had remarried. Step-parents always have a bull’s eye on their backs in custody modification cases. I made sure and asked the father several times and different ways if he had any issues with step-dad. The answer was “No.” Well, it took several months to get to trial. At trial the father tried to change his tune. He attempted to say he had serious issues with step-dad and had for as long as he had been in the picture. I asked the father if recalled his deposition. He stuttered. I showed him the specific page and questions asked. He said he must have forgotten about the serious issues at the time of the deposition. Right. He backed off on his assertions and the deposition “saved” the day.
Objections are rare in family law depositions, or at least less common than in trial. They are typically limited to the “form of the question,” being made to preserve the right to object in the future, but the deponent usually still answers the question. Questions regarding crimes, however, can be objected to and those are usually not answered – with the deponent pleading the 5th. The 5th Amendment to the U.S. Constitution gives all persons the right to not incriminate themselves. How does this come into play in family law? Adultery is a crime in Mississippi (blogged previously).
The bottom line in depositions is, while they are nerve wracking for the deponent, ultimately you are just answering questions and your job is to tell the truth and rely on your attorney.
Financial issues abound in almost every divorce action. The parties fight over the money, the debt, the house, the business and anything else of value. The financial consequences of divorce can not be overstated. It typically results in a change in lifestyle for both parties, and despite the law that contemplates “maintaining the lifestyle of which you have grown accustomed,” divorce frequently results in both parties living a reduced lifestyle. It takes more money to run two households than it does one.
Mississippi Courts use a form for financial disclosures. This form is called an “Eight-oh-Five,” as it is Rule 8.05(clickable) which requires the completion and use of a financial statement in family law cases. The 8.05 must list all income, assets, expenses and liabilities. Whether they be “joint” or solely owned by one party, they have to be disclosed. The 8.05 also must include a recent pay stub, work history and the most recent tax return. These are to be completed under oath and are subject to perjury safeguards.
Persons who have submitted materially false 8.05s have been held accountable by the Court, even well after the fact. In a recent, notable case the husband, who also had a girlfriend, won the lottery about 2 months before the divorce. He did not disclose the winnings and it was an out of state lottery so the wife did not hear about it. The parties were divorced. About 4 years later, the now ex-husband’s girlfriend called the ex-wife to let her know that the husband had won the lottery just prior to the divorce. Why? Well, the girlfriend found out that the fellow was now cheating on her. The ex-wife filed a petition to re-open the matter due to fraud. The husband’s failure to disclose was found to be “fraud on the Court” and the case was re-opened. The wife was awarded a portion of the winnings and attorney fees.
Moral of the story; disclose your assets and be honest. The Court requires full disclosure.
In family law courts, oftentimes the Judges compare themselves to Solomon when making decisions. These Judges must make tough decisions based testimony and evidence that are frequently in stark contrast depending upon which party was offering up the facts and proof.
(601) 850-8000 - - BowTieLawyer.MS 