Mankind is not perfect. Human beings constantly mess up, disappoint and let others down. This is a fact.
The #1 way to guaranty disappointment is to rely on someone else for your satisfaction. The old adage “if you want something done right, do it yourself” is sage advice. If you find yourself constantly frustrated, irritated and aggrieved, stop and examine why.
Everyday, I see people let down by the very ones that promised to never let them down, contractually obligated to act right and they still do NOT. People will let you down. Plan accordingly.
Matthew Thompson is a Mississippi Family Law Attorney and is not as cynical as you may think. However, relying on others for your own self-worth is a mistake and will lead to disappointment.
Unfortunately, disappointment is a part of life. It can also be a major part of family law cases. Most often in a family law case, someone is going through just about the most difficult thing they do as an adult when dealing with a divorce/custody matter. Either they have done something, or their spouse has, which has caused significant upheaval, loss of trust and despair A large part of family law includes helping someone cope with those feelings and emotions.
While there is no easy answer on how to cope, there are a number of things that can be done to promote healing.
Seek Counseling. I recommend counseling to almost every client. This is NOT because I think something is wrong with them. It is because Counselors are people who have expertise in dealing with persons going through emotional crisis. A lawyer can deal with a legal crisis, and some are good at the emotional issues too, but all are not. A counselor can help and they have often heard and dealt with a similar circumstance. Counseling can be with a licensed counselor, a religious leader or a sage friend with experience.
Keep a Routine. Keeping a routine can help more than you think. A recent study showed that persons who made their bed each morning were more organized and felt better about themselves throughout the day. This routine made their day better. This is something easy to do and it only takes 2 minutes, but can make a difference in how you feel. I encourage my clients to get in a routine and keep it. I encourage them to continue their exercise regimen or start one. Let’s Go Walking (a la Haley Barbour!). I also encourage them to eat the right stuff. While this may sound dumb or not my business – a family law matter concerns mind, body, and spirit.
Listen to Your Attorney. One of the easiest things to say and hardest to do is to follow the advice of your attorney. Ideally, you are working with an attorney that has handled many situations, which have been similar to yours. Just like you, attorneys learn from experience. Hire one that knows what they are doing and then take their advice. This one factor alone is worthy of its own blog…
Disappointment is a part of life and, seemingly, a large part of family law. Effectively dealing with the “bumps” in the road will help you get back on track.