A Family Law case; such as a divorce or child custody matter may well be the most difficult thing you have to deal with as an adult. It can be heart wrenching, gut wrenching, expensive and uncertain.
The worst of all is the uncertainty! The questions as to whether you are doing the right thing. Will the Judge see the truth? Are your children safe? It keeps your brain on “go” 24-7. However, this around-the-clock, heightened sense also wears you out.
You cannot stay on high alert all the time. If you do, you will crash and burn. What is the solution? Hire the person right for you, follow their advice to the letter and do the right thing, every time. Then breath, relax and take the afternoon off. You’ve earned it.
Matthew Thompson is a Family Law Attorney and recommends that clients know when a matter is DEFCON 5 and when to take it to DEFCON 1.
“In those days he was wiser than he is now; he used to frequently take my advice.”
Following your attorney’s advice can be one of the more difficult aspects of divorce work, but you must. I have previously blogged on How to Hire an attorney, Keeping Quiet when necessary, Annoying Client Traits, and Coping with the Stress of a family law matter. One important and common theme to all of these is to listen and take the advice you are given. It is no guaranty of a perfect case, but it increases the potential for a satisfactory result. (So long as the person giving the advice knows what they are talking about.)
Matthew Thompson is a Family Law attorney and is good at telling people what to do.
Unfortunately, disappointment is a part of life. It can also be a major part of family law cases. Most often in a family law case, someone is going through just about the most difficult thing they do as an adult when dealing with a divorce/custody matter. Either they have done something, or their spouse has, which has caused significant upheaval, loss of trust and despair A large part of family law includes helping someone cope with those feelings and emotions.
While there is no easy answer on how to cope, there are a number of things that can be done to promote healing.
Seek Counseling. I recommend counseling to almost every client. This is NOT because I think something is wrong with them. It is because Counselors are people who have expertise in dealing with persons going through emotional crisis. A lawyer can deal with a legal crisis, and some are good at the emotional issues too, but all are not. A counselor can help and they have often heard and dealt with a similar circumstance. Counseling can be with a licensed counselor, a religious leader or a sage friend with experience.
Keep a Routine. Keeping a routine can help more than you think. A recent study showed that persons who made their bed each morning were more organized and felt better about themselves throughout the day. This routine made their day better. This is something easy to do and it only takes 2 minutes, but can make a difference in how you feel. I encourage my clients to get in a routine and keep it. I encourage them to continue their exercise regimen or start one. Let’s Go Walking (a la Haley Barbour!). I also encourage them to eat the right stuff. While this may sound dumb or not my business – a family law matter concerns mind, body, and spirit.
Listen to Your Attorney. One of the easiest things to say and hardest to do is to follow the advice of your attorney. Ideally, you are working with an attorney that has handled many situations, which have been similar to yours. Just like you, attorneys learn from experience. Hire one that knows what they are doing and then take their advice. This one factor alone is worthy of its own blog…
Disappointment is a part of life and, seemingly, a large part of family law. Effectively dealing with the “bumps” in the road will help you get back on track.