Affairs can be exciting, secretive and scandalous…
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This excitement is short-lived. The secret too, is soon out. Finally the scandal hurts more than just the perpetrators, but also their families. Affairs, actually, are usually disasters, depressing and not worth the effort. During an affair the participants are focused on themselves. This tunnel vision leads to neglect of those other persons in their life, which actually makes those relationships worse.
There is an ebb and flow that is true in all of our interactions with other human beings. The time you are spending with that other person is less time that you are spending with your family, focusing on your work, and even yourself.
Additionally, the fall out from the affair is “self-inflicted” injury and injures all parties involved.
So, when is the right time to have an affair? Never. There is no right time to have an affair.
Matthew Thompson is a Mississippi Divorce Lawyer and reminds you of what Nancy Reagan has said since the 1980s, “Just Say no.”
Follow the blog:#BowTieLawyer Visit the website: #Thompson Law Firm You may also contact Matthew with your family law matter or question at (601) 850-8000 or Matthew@bowtielawyer.ms
Uncondoned – is the part that requires it not be with permission or forgiveness, whether before or after.
Sexual Intercourse – is the part that requires sex, and what Bill Clinton based his testimony on.
Opposite sex – is the part which requires the other person be the opposite gender from the adulterer. This one is interesting as technically speaking a same-sex rendezvous does not meet the definition of adultery, maybe for a number of reasons.
Not your spouse – is obvious.
A Valid marriage – usually obvious, but every now and again that issue comes up. If you are not legally married, then it is not adultery. Mississippi abolished common law marriage over 50 years ago.
“I did not have sexual relations with that woman, Ms. Lewinsky.” – Bill Clinton
Whether is means now or is mean was, consult an attorney if you find yourself in precarious or Lewinsky-like situations.
Matthew Thompson is a Divorce and Domestic Relations Attorney in the Magnolia State. Follow the blog:#BowTieLawyer Visit the website: #Thompson Law Firm You may also contact Matthew with your family law matter or question at (601) 850-8000
No person shall be held to answer for a capital, or otherwise infamous crime, unless on a presentment or indictment of a Grand Jury, except in cases arising in the land or naval forces, or in the Militia, when in actual service in time of War or public danger; nor shall any person be subject for the same offense to be twice put in jeopardy of life or limb; nor shall be compelled in any criminal case to be a witness against himself, nor be deprived of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor shall private property be taken for public use, without just compensation. –5th Amendment to the U.S. Constitution
In divorce cases pleading the 5th is not often invoked. The reason is divorce cases are civil matters, by their nature. Not civil in the sense that everyone is always nice, but civil as opposed to criminal.
When Can you Plead the 5th in a Divorce Matter?
When answering the question would involve you admitting to a crime. Interestingly, adultery, or habitual fornication rather, is a crime in Mississippi. It is rarely prosecuted, but is a crime nonetheless. Due to this you may invoke the 5th. However, you have not outsmarted the system. Pleading the 5th in a civil matter creates a presumption that you did what was asked. Or, at least the Chancellor can use it against you.
So, how does this play out? (envision a Courtroom)
Attorney: Mr. Smith, it’s true isn’t is that you have committed adultery during your marriage to Mrs. Smith?
Mr. Smith:I plead the 5th.
Attorney: Let the record reflect that Mr. Smith has invoked his 5th amendment right against self-incrimination as it relates to a question about adultery and the Court may make an adverse inference against Mr. Smith for doing so.
Judge:Duly noted.
Why do it then? The witness does not have to disclose the dirty details, name names, places, locations, or positions.
Pleading the 5th may not stop you from getting a divorce, but it may prevent bringing other persons down with you.
Matthew Thompson is a Divorce and Domestic Relations Attorney in the Magnolia State. Follow the blog:#BowTieLawyer
An affair plays a significant role in a large number of divorces. It is a train wreck to a relationship.
Beezqp- “Big Bad Locomotive”
A sure-fire way to wreak havoc in a marriage is to have an affair. Mississippi law defines an affair or adultery as sexual intercourse, with a person of the opposite sex, not your spouse. However, due to the secretive nature of affairs you do not have to have an admission of guilt or pictures, though it helps. The ground can be proven through circumstantial evidence.
Upon a satisfactory showing of 1) inclination or infatuation, which can consist of cards, notes, emails, love letters, texts and phone records showing many calls; and 2) opportunity, which is the spouse and that other person alone together, be it in a car, house, motel, hotel, park or back alley, a Court can find that fault grounds exist. Due to this, even the whole “it’s only an emotional affair” and the “we didn’t have sex” may not be enough to stop the Adultery train from running over you.
So, why do people have affairs? They can be exciting, fun and pleasurable, at least for a little while. What leads to this? Sometimes the person is unhappy, dissatisfied, over-stressed, unloved, under-appreciated, or at least believe that they are.
The problem is the affair does not fix the problem. It only serves to make things worse. Because along with an affair comes new baggage. Guilt, secrecy, and the emotions of a third person are now commingled in your personal life. An affair not only hurts your spouse, but also you, your children and the other party. It has emotional consequences, financial consequences, custody consequences and legal consequences.
An affair is a Train wreck in the making.
Matthew Thompson is a semi-part-time Family Law Professor at MC Law and a Divorce Attorney encouraging you to avoid train wrecks!
Follow the blog: BowTieLawyerVisit the website: Thompson Law FirmYou may also contact Matthew with your family law case, question or concern at (601) 850-8000 or Matthew@bowtielawyer.ms
A Mississippi resident, who married her spouse in California, is now seeking that a Mississippi Court divorce them. The couple lived in Mississippi for some time after their marriage and ultimately separated in the Magnolia State. The case is pending in DeSoto County Chancery court and has garnered world-wide attention.
However, it may not be a walk in the park…
MS law specifically provides that a same-sex marriage is VOID. Void means it does not exist, not that it could if everything was just right. Void=nothing. The law goes on to specifically deny that MS has to recognize another state’s same-sex marriage.
MCA 93-1-1, (2) Any marriage between persons of the same gender is prohibited and null and void from the beginning. Any marriage between persons of the same gender that is valid in another jurisdiction does not constitute a legal or valid marriage in Mississippi.
Now before you bash MS too much for this, it is quite common that states have different laws regarding requirements for persons to get married in their respective states. Different laws can be allowed. For instance you can marry your niece-in-law in California, but not in Utah. And Utah does not have to recognize the CA marriage. Nothing to do with same gender on that restriction. Also, most states prohibit same-sex marriage, only 14 states allow same-sex marriage, at this time.
There are several issues that are apparent in this MS pending matter.
Issue #1. MS law, which at this time is valid and constitutional by the way, disallows their “marriage” to be recognized as a marriage. And, if no marriage, then there can be no divorce.
Issue #2. The Mississippian sued her spouse on Habitual Cruel and Inhuman Treatment. The parties had been separated for over 3 years by the time of filing which may be an indicator of limited grounds regarding cruelty, which is one of the most difficult grounds to prove. So there may not be a divorce on cruelty anyway, as the plaintiff could not meet her burden of proof.
Issue #3. The Mississippian sued her spouse for Adultery. Adultery, in Mississippi, is defined as “sexual intercourse with a person of the opposite sex, not your spouse.” Despite this being the Bible Belt, it is possible that Mrs. Defendant is in another relationship with another person, of her same sex, and is still not committing “adultery.” Technically speaking, of course.
Issue #4.The Constitution’s Full Faith & Credit clause. FF&C requires that a valid Order from one State be recognized in another. The catch is a Marriage is not an Order, but rather a contractual arrangement between the two spouses and the state that they are being married in. This means a marriage is not entitled to Full Faith and Credit. Interestingly, a divorce would be, assuming the Jurisdictional/residency requirements were met.
So, some legal mumbo-jumbo and a refrain from a little common sense results in…nothing. That is exactly what this litigant will get from Mississippi and will likely get it in abundance. Stay tuned for more developments.
Matthew Thompson is a family law attorney and domestic relations adj. professor at MC Law; Keeping you abreast of the ever-changing world of family law in which we live in.
Follow the blog: BowTieLawyerVisit the website: Thompson Law FirmYou may also contact Matthew with your family law case, question or concern at (601) 850-8000 or Matthew@bowtielawyer.ms
Warning signs that may show that your significant other may be seeing another!
A Secret Cell Phone. They have a 2nd phone without a need or the other phone is secret.
Change in Attire. The spouse is dressing in trendier clothes or “younger” or more “revealing” clothes.
New Undies. Provocative undergarments appear that you don’t see in use.
Working out. A sudden change in their workout regimen, without a scare from the Dr. and it’s not New Year’s Day.
Body Grooming. Manscaping, or new cologne, perfumes, etc.
Body Augmentation. Having lifts or lipos.
Longer Work Hours. Having to work late, a lot more often, and out-of-town travel when they previously did not.
Unexplained Absences. Going to the store for some milk and being gone 6 hours.
Bad On-Line Habits. Surfing at all hours of the night, deleting the browser history.
FaceBooking Old Flames.
Matthew Thompson is a family law attorney in Mississippi and admits while these signs can certainly exist with nothing going on, that if 3 or more are happening Watch Out!
Your dirty, no-good, lying, sorry sack of spouse is a CHEATER. Obviously when the Court hears about this that so-and-so will be excoriated and will never show their face again in town. They certainly won’t get anything, right?
In Mississippi, an Affair is a fault ground for divorce. If your spouse is guilty of an affair it will get you a divorce, but don’t count on that fact alone meaning you get everything and they get nothing. It does not mean that he will have to pay you or that the CHEATER cannot get alimony or even custody.
Back in the olden days, some may say the “Good ‘Ol Days”, a lady was barred from receiving alimony if she were guilty of adultery. This is no more, though contributions to the stability and harmony of the marriage are considered and an affair can play a part in what is ultimately received.
Additionally, a spouse having an affair is not barred from being awarded custody. In the olden days a mom that had an affair could be putting her children at risk. Today, a parent’s adultery or morality pursuant to the Albright Custody Factors is considered, but an affair with no adverse impact to the child – will not automatically mean the CHEATER will not get custody.
So, cheat with impunity? No. Just know that cheating ain’t what it used to be, unless it is.
Matthew Thompson is a family law attorney and Cheetahs do NOT change their spots.
(601) 850-8000 - - BowTieLawyer.MS 