Tag Archives: reconciliation

Divorce, humor, Marriage

Burn the Couch!

1 Comment

Sometimes cleaning up the scene of the crime helps the healing process.

images

 

I previously wrote about  knowing too much of the dirty details may make forgiveness impossible.  Knowing the who, what, where, and when and other dirt can mess with your mind and trigger PTSD-like symptoms.

However, sometimes you cannot forget and you may have a daily reminder in the living room. You are left with 3 options:

  1. You can choose to forgive. 
  2. You can choose NOT to forgive. 
  3. You can BURN the Couch.

Forgiveness takes time, choosing not to forgive takes a commitment, burning the couch takes a lighter.*

Matthew Thompson is a Mississippi Divorce Attorney and reminds you that if you are going to burn the couch, do so outside, in a safe manner and in full compliance of all applicable laws.*

Follow the blog: BowTieLawyer Visit the website: Thompson Law Firm You may also contact Matthew with your family law case, question or concern at (601) 850-8000 or Matthew@bowtielawyer.ms

Divorce, General Legal, Opinion

Less is More…Knowing the Dirt May Do More Harm Than Good.

1 Comment

Confession is good for the Soul.

img_7948

However, what’s good for the Soul may not be so good for your marriage.  Sometimes knowing the details, deeds and dirt makes it impossible to “forgive.”  Knowing the location of the “scene of the crime” results in PTSD every time you pass by.  Knowing the name of the paramour gives you the HeeBeeGeeBees when you have a waiter/waitress with the same name.  Also, even when you know all the dirt, you still wonder if you really do.

If the goal is to attempt to reconcile and work through life’s difficulties, you may well be better served by the mantra- Less is More.

Read about “The Dirt” here, “The Book of Sins” here and more on “Reconciliation” here.

Matthew Thompson is a Family Law Attorney in Mississippi and believes that sometimes ignorance is bliss. Consult your attorney, counselor or mental health professional for more info!

Follow the blog: BowTieLawyer Visit the website: Thompson Law Firm

You may also contact Matthew with your family law case, question or concern at (601) 850-8000 or Matthew@bowtielawyer.ms.

IMG_3045.JPG

Divorce

I see “dead” people.

Leave a comment

Haley Joel Osment said it first…

http://dailycaller.com/2013/10/25/thedc-investigates-what-ever-happened-to-haley-joel-osment/

I don’t actually see dead people as much as I see “dying” relationships. Yes, I am a divorce attorney.

Everyday I see these dying relationships in various places. Of course, at the office.  Those persons scheduled an appointment, but I also see “dead” people at church, the grocery store and on the sidelines at ball games.

Family struggles do not discriminate based on race, religion, or financial status. Also, putting on the happy faces and public displays does nothing to address the underlying issues.  Those take real work.

Interestingly, a divorce attorney may can help.  While sounding counter-intuitive, an experienced Family Law attorney can not only advise you of your rights and answer your questions, but can also advise you on ways to salvage a relationship, even from the brink of “death.” Options of individual counseling, couples therapy or in some instances a good dose of reality can work to jolt attitudes and one’s willingness to try.

Being one of the “walking dead” does not doom you or your marriage so long as you recognize and work to resuscitate that relationship.

Matthew Thompson is a Divorce attorney in Mississippi and if your relationship is in need of 911 he may be the right Juris Doctor for your ailments.

Follow the blog: BowTieLawyer Visit the website: Thompson Law FirmYou may also contact Matthew with your family law case, question or concern at (601) 850-8000 or Matthew@bowtielawyer.ms

 

Divorce, Marriage

How to Fix a Marriage?

2 Comments

I am a divorce attorney.

By nonicknamephoto/ freedigitalphotos.net

I may can help save your marriage.  I know it sounds inconsistent, but my job is to know the law regarding divorce in my state, advise you with regards to your best interests, protect your interests as I am able and to comply with your requests as much as possible within the realms of legal, moral and ethical authority.

Fixing a Marriage does not come in a manual.  There are no quick fixes, nor a consistent 3-step process, but there are some things in common that relationships that can be salvaged exhibit.

1) Both parties Desire or are open to Reconciliation.  If one party ain’t having it, it ain’t happening.

2) Both parties Try.  One party giving all the effort and the other being the limp-fish won’t get you back together.

3) Both parties accept the Risk.  Falling in love, falling on your face, falling out of love.  Risk is inherent in all relationships.

4) It takes time.  This is not a fast process.  The “end” was usually a long time coming, a build up of disappointment, or lies, misconduct or growing apart.  It took time to fail. It takes time to heal.

Saving a marriage is possible, but hard.  It takes the “want to,” the “effort,” the “risk” and “time.”  You still may fail, but you then know you did everything you could.

IMG_3045.JPG

Divorce, General Legal, Irreconcilable differences, Marriage, Modifications

Wild Divorce Laws; The Undivorce, Reconstructing a Marriage

1 Comment

One of my first posts on this site, way back, was a cut and paste job of an article I wrote a few years back for the Mississippi Bar Family Law Section Newsletter. It was entitled, I am an Undivorce Attorney.  I am re-blogging on it because, one) I have a significantly greater audience now, and two) I like writing about good news in divorce law.  I am still an Undivorce Attorney.

In Mississippi, you can legally UNDIVORCE!  Yes, you can have your judgment of divorce revoked by the Court that granted it.  This is not a remarriage, but rather judicially undoing the legal divorce. Why, you ask?  Well, just like sometimes people marry the wrong person, sometimes they got it right the first time and divorced the wrong person.

MCA 93-5-31, provides that a judgment of divorce may be revoked at any time by the Court that granted it.  The Court may require “satisfactory proof of reconciliation,” as well as “such regulation as it may deem proper.”  It requires a joint application of both parties. The process can be fairly simple and quick.

Upon approval by the Court, you can have your divorce erased and it’s as if you were never legally divorced.  You get “credit” for being married those years you were not, so 25 years still equals 25 years.

This is a very unique quirk in MS law and not widely known. In fact, a few judges, I have heard, have questioned whether they had the authority to do an undivorce and if it was legal.  They do and it is.

Matthew Thompson is a family law attorney in Mississippi and whether you marriage was a mistake or your divorce was a mistake, I can help!

Follow the blog: BowTieLawyer 

You may also contact Matthew with your family law case, question or concern at (601) 850-8000

Divorce, General Legal, Marriage, Opinion

Condoning Bad Behavior; Losing Grounds for Divorce

3 Comments

They cheated! You found out…you TRIED to work it out, but the trust has been broken and you just cannot get over it.  You decide you have no choice but to file a suit for adultery.  You’ll get your fair share and move on. Right? Not so fast…

In Mississippi, to be awarded a Divorce, you have to either have Fault Grounds(click) against your spouse, that can be proven, or you and your spouse have to agree to ALL issues in the divorce, via Irreconcilable Differences(click). (All issues must be agreed; the divorce, itself, who gets what, who pays what, everything has to be agreed).

Additionally, in Mississippi, there are Defenses to a Divorce.  A Defense can be used to prevent the Divorce. One of those Defenses is Condonation.

Condonation is “legal forgiveness.”  This happens when the aggrieved spouse knows of the fault, in this example an affair, and decides to reconcile with the other party, when you TRIED to work it out.

Once the aggrieved party makes that decision to reconcile and the parties resume, or continue cohabitation, and resume marital relations (sex) the aggrieved party has legally forgiven the guilty party.  So what does that mean?  There are no longer grounds for divorce based upon adultery.

There are a few catches.  The guilty spouse must, in good faith, attempt the reconciliation intentionally with the purpose of saving the marriage.  Additionally, the aggrieved spouse can only forgive what they know about.  If there were multiple affairs and all were not disclosed there may still exist fault grounds, whether they are aware of it or not.  Also, the behavior, the adultery, if repeated revives the grounds for divorce.  That is, past acts that were known may have been forgiven, but if repeated the aggrieved would have grounds again.  Future acts would not be forgiven either solely based on a prior reconciliation.

Condonation is one of those more difficult issues to wrestle with in divorce.  The Court must consider the knowledge of the aggrieved spouse, the intent of the guilty spouse, the effort(s) to reconcile – whether they are in good faith.  All these are fact specific and subjective determinations to be made by the Court.

Warning!!  Some lawyers will advise the guilty party to do or say whatever is necessary to get the other party back in bed, for “reconciliation,” so that the defense of Condonation may be used.  If you find yourself in this situation, please seek the advice of an attorney prior to a reconciliation attempt.  Divorce attorneys can also help you save your marriage, or at least advise you on the ramifications if you try.

img_6390