Category Archives: Child Custody

alienation, Child Custody, Child Support, Crime, divorce, General Legal, Modifications, Opinion, Visitation

The DIRT!** (24 Dirty Deeds in Family Law)

08/02/2013 BowTieLawyer 1 Comment

One of the unique things about my profession is that I routinely get paid to discuss the embarrassing, wild and sometimes just ignorant things people do.

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The DIRT is/are the things that the other side says you did, even if you did not do them; substance abuse, crimes, non-payment, hateful things…

What cannot be stressed enough is that you have to be honest and forthright with your attorney. If you hold something back and do not disclose the full story it can come back to bite you. Being bitten could mean not getting custody, having to pay attorney’s fees, going to jail or any combination of these.

What are Examples of Dirt you ask?

1) Instances of substance abuse,
2) DUIs,
3) Public Drunks,
4) Child Endangerment charges for DUI with the children present,
5) Arrests for assault,
6) Battery,
7)Crimes of moral turpitude or
8) Violence,
9) Substance abuse, even if not caught,
10) Knowing you would test “hot” or “positive” for an illegal drug or
11) Prescription drug for which you do not have a prescription.
12) And not telling your attorney any of the above is dangerous, even if they don’t ask. Sometimes we don’t know or think to ask if you
13) Are on probation from any crime.
14) Is there a no contact Order against you,
15) Domestic violence charges pending,
16) Active warrants for your arrest,
17) Suspended license.
18) Are you under investigation?
19) Meth lab in the garage,
20) Not to mention having a paramour, an affair,
21) Multiple affairs,
22) Paying for your mistresses’ vacation,
23) Buying the mistresses’ child a car, or
24) Expending large sums of money on frivolous things.

These are just 24 examples of DIRT that I saw…last week. These dirty deeds may be done dirt cheap, but it’s going to cost you to clean it up!

Matthew Thompson is a family law attorney in Mississippi and can only attempt to clean up the DIRT that the client admits.

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You may also contact Matthew with your family law case, question or concern at (601) 850-8000 or Matthew@bowtielawyer.ms.

Child Custody, Child Support, Crime, General Legal, Modifications, Visitation

It’s Never What you Think!

07/31/2013 BowTieLawyer 1 Comment

As an attorney that practices exclusively family law I am routinely posed with questions and scenarios of one person doing everything right and the other everything wrong. However, when I start digging and asking the right questions I find that “It’s Never What you Think!”

Recently, I was asked by a friend to speak to friend about her potential case. The potential client had “done everything right,” but the ex and his attorney were “out to destroy her” and would not let up. She was at wit’s end. As I was speaking with her I was asking about custody, visitation and support issues.

Lawyer: “You are current on your support, right?”

Client: “Yeah…” (said with hesitation)

Lawyer: “That did not sound convincing”

Client: “Well, I paid for my kids medical and activities and he has a great job and doesn’t NEED it.”

Lawyer: “His job doesn’t really matter as far as support goes…what were you ordered to pay?

Client: “$475.00 per month.”

Lawyer: “When was the last time you paid $475.00?

Client: “Years.” (said with hesitation)…”He didn’t need the money.”

This was not an instance of having “done everything right.” Why the ex waited years to pursue it is a mystery, but he nonetheless has the right to.

In another instance, a “good father” just wanted reasonable visitation. I asked, as I always do,”What is the dirt on you?”

The DIRT is/are the things that the other side says you did, even if you did not do them; substance abuse, crimes, non-payment, hateful things.

In this instance “the dirt” was long ago, recreational drug use and just some routine fussing and fighting. I said in jest, “Well, so long as you didn’t have a meth lab in the garage…” “Actually, it was.” There’s your dirt.

So to all of you well-meaning helpful friends, you are NOT getting the full story. And to all of you eager attorneys seeking to fight injustice and righting the wrongs of others, get the full story. It’s Never What you Think!

Matthew Thompson is a family law attorney in Mississippi and only believes half of what he sees and even less of what he hears.

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Child Custody, Child Support, divorce, Grandparent Visitation, Visitation

Put Your Children First.

07/30/2013 BowTieLawyer 1 Comment

Divorcing spouses make it about themselves. How he “threw it all away” or how she “abandoned the marriage.” But, when children are in the equation they need to be First.

I know of too many instances where the children are treated as pawns. One parent uses the other parent’s time or access to the children to get more of what they want or are just difficult for the sake of being difficult. A parent refusing to allow the other parent to see the child for strategic reasons is just wrong.

Okay your husband strayed, does that mean he does not deserve to see the children? Too often the parent that has the child is tempted to play “keep away.” If your wife is a floozy that does not mean the children do not need their mother?

In all instances where there are NOT genuine safety concerns that parent should have access and see the children as much as practical. Period. What’s the best thing you can do for your child?

Put your children first. Make sure the other parent has quality time and access to the children. If dad was not an every other weekend dad before the divorce, who is served by him becoming one after the divorce?

Follow the blog: BowTieLawyer Visit the website: Thompson Law Firm

You may also contact Matthew with your family law case, question or concern at (601) 850-8000 or Matthew@bowtielawyer.ms.

Child Custody, Child Support, General Legal, Opinion, Visitation

Paternity; Determining Baby Daddy

07/22/2013 BowTieLawyer 2 Comments

Paternity…Filiation…Who’s Your Daddy, whatever you call it, it’s the process where the Court determines who the biological father is and what his rights and obligations are.

Mississippi Law provides a number of statutes dealing with the Law on Paternity. Miss. Code Ann. 93-9- 1, et seq.

93-9-7 provides that the father of a child born out-of-wedlock is liable to the same extent as the father of a child born of lawful matrimony. The father can be liable for the “reasonable expenses of the mother’s pregnancy and confinement, and for the education, support, maintenance and medical expenses related to the child.” Additionally, a father can be liable for past support and maintenance for a period of one year prior to the filing of the paternity action. The father may also be ordered to pay the mother’s reasonable attorney fees.

Either the mother, the father, or any public authority chargeable by law with the support of the child may bring a paternity suit. This is what allows DHS to pursue these matters. The statute provides that once paternity is established the child shall have the surname of the father.

These actions may be brought in Chancery Court, Circuit Court or County Court, though most often are brought in Chancery.

Any agreements between the mother and father must be approved by the Court to be enforceable. A voluntary acknowledgement of paternity by a father is subject to a one year limit to challenge paternity. After one year, the only way to set aside a paternity Order is to show fraud, duress or material mistake and that you are not the father. Be careful about this. I always recommend a DNA/blood test, even if you “know.” If you are wrong you may still end up on the hook financially.

Also, if you find yourself in a paternity suit be sure to file for a determination of custody and visitation. DHS will not always do this and you could end up with financial obligations and no specific rights to see your child.

Matthew Thompson is a family law attorney in Mississippi and encourages you to hire an attorney if you find yourself in a paternity case.

Follow the blog: BowTieLawyer Visit the website: Thompson Law Firm

You may also contact Matthew with your family law case, question or concern at (601) 850-8000 or Matthew@bowtielawyer.ms.

Child Custody, Child Support, divorce, General Legal, Modifications, Visitation

Riding the Wave – “Coping” with Family, Law and Family Law

07/08/2013 BowTieLawyer Leave a comment

One of the best pieces of advice is to “ride the wave.” In family law, such as life, adversity is a given. How you respond is the key.

How you choose to deal with that adversity will directly contribute to the results you get. Oftentimes it is a common reaction to fight fire with fire, and we all know the eye for an eye sentiment, but that may not be the best response. I have previously blogged on dealing with stress and uncertainty. This one is a little different. It is not so much how to cope, but to try to use the adversity to your advantage.

A great example was when I was faced with a young father being sued for an increase in child support. He had experienced an increase in income and was really starting to enjoy life. The ex sued him and he viewed this as ‘just his luck.’ I explained that she may be entitled to a child support increase, that he was paying a very low amount from a previous order, that some time had passed since last being in Court and that an increase was due. As I discussed his situation he disclosed some frustration with the visitation schedule. How his new job, while paying well made the current schedule difficult to work and the ex was not too easy to get along with. I told him that since we are “going to court” that we should seek a visitation modification. He did not want to make things worse. I told him it would not. Ultimately, an increase in support was negotiated along with a visitation schedule change that allowed him more time.

He rode the wave, sure it cost more money, but that is what the law requires once you subject yourself to the Court system. He used the adversity to get a better result.

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You may also contact Matthew with your family law case, question or concern at (601) 850-8000 or Matthew@bowtielawyer.ms.

Child Custody, divorce, General Legal, Irreconcilable differences, Modifications, Opinion, Property Division, Visitation

Why is my Court Hearing Somewhere Else?

06/24/2013 BowTieLawyer Leave a comment

Mississippi has 20 Chancery Court Districts and 49 Chancery Court Judges, but Mississippi has 82 counties. Most Chancery Court Districts, therefore, include more than one county.

You file your case in your home county’s Chancery Clerk’s Office, most often. This is the appropriate “jurisdiction.” One District has a first and second judicial district, being Hinds County. Most districts, however, include more than one County. In that instance you still file in your home county, but you may well see the judge, have Court, and otherwise be in another County for your case.

I have been asked and have heard litigants try to use this as an advantage. Perhaps not having to testify at home, making witnesses have to drive, or having Court somewhere else will lead to a better result. It doesn’t. It is the same Judge, the same facts and in most instance just 30-45 minutes this way or that way from the other Courthouse.

One thing to remember when having litigation in multiple counties is to be mindful where the Court file is. It is the lawyer’s job to see that the Court file makes it to Court. I have seen time and again someone forget the Court file and the Judge be unwilling to take action until it can be retrieved or recessed until another day when it can be obtained.

I was involved in a 10th District case, commonly thought of as Hattiesburg, but had actual Court hearings in 5 different counties throughout the pendency of the case. In no particular order, we had a trial and motion hearings in 1) Forrest County, Hattiesburg; 2) Lamar County, Purvis; 3) Marion County; Columbia, a temporary hearing in 4) Pearl River County, Poplarville, and a motion for New Trial in 5) Perry County, New Augusta. Each hearing had the same judge, attorneys and parties, but were in so many different places because that is where the Judge was the days we had court appearances.

Matthew Thompson is a Family Law attorney, with a statewide practice, and recommends you hire a lawyer either in the area of where your case is or a lawyer who practices in that area.

Follow the blog: BowTieLawyer Visit the website: Thompson Law Firm

You may also contact Matthew with your family law case, question or concern at (601) 850-8000 or Matthew@bowtielawyer.ms.

Child Custody, divorce, General Legal, Opinion

Don’t Bring Your Child to the Divorce Lawyer Meeting.

06/20/2013 BowTieLawyer 2 Comments

Things happen. I get that. But, generally speaking you should not bring your child to your first meeting with the divorce attorney.

The first meeting with the divorce attorney is tough, emotional and can be embarrassing. At least, you could be discussing potentially embarrassing and confidential matters. This is no place for small children. They will be bored, hungry, thirsty, have to use the bathroom, and will break things in the office. They will eat all of the candy in the dish, touch all the nick-knacks, and if their sibling is there a fight will ensue. They will be loud, hot, cold, sleepy, wired, angry and goodness only knows what they will overhear and repeat at the most inopportune time.

Attorneys probably take for granted that the client knows not to bring their children to the meeting. Don’t. I try to make sure the client has thought about not bringing the children to the meeting. It is genuinely rare that there is no other option. So, if you are a client the only time to take the children is when the attorney requests it. Otherwise, do NOT take your children to the meeting. If there is no other choice, reschedule. If you cannot reschedule, let the attorney know that you must bring your children and bring another adult to watch the children.

Matthew Thompson is a Family Law attorney and implores you to please NOT bring your children to the meeting with the lawyer.

Follow the blog: BowTieLawyer Visit the website: Thompson Law Firm

You may also contact Matthew with your family law case, question or concern at (601) 850-8000 or Matthew@bowtielawyer.ms.

Child Custody, divorce, General Legal, Marriage, Modifications, Opinion

5 More What NOT To-Dos in Family Law

06/18/2013 BowTieLawyer 2 Comments

I have blogged on FaceBook Don’ts several times. 5 Family Law FaceBook Don’ts & 5 More FaceBook Don’ts. This one is a little more general, but are still things NOT to do in Family Law matters.

Don’t Follow Bad Advice Blindly. If your attorney advises you to break into the house and take everything, including the dishwasher and the stove, think twice. Who does that? Who gives that advice? How could a Judge ever think that was a good thing? Click here for more. Bad Advice = Bad Lawyer.
Don’t Make it a WAR if you Don’t Have to. It only makes the lawyers more money. You get less. Go to WAR only when it is absolutely necessary. Life and safety.
Don’t Solely Blame the Other Side. This piece is sometimes tough to swallow. That SOB you married may be mostly at fault, and sometimes completely at fault, but it’s rare that it is one side’s fault 100%. Acknowledging your culpability, at least to yourself, will help you process what you are going through.
Don’t Bad Mouth the Other Parent. It may be true. He may deserve it. You may tell the Judge, your counselor and your lawyer. No one else needs to know.
Don’t Forward the Children Communications Between you and the Other Parent. This is so inappropriate. Placing the children in the middle of a parental dispute is a classic symptom of parental alienation. If you are doing this you better watch out. You may not be able to stop the advice given in number 2, above.

Matthew Thompson is a Family Law attorney and tries to give good advice. It may still not be easy to follow, but it is designed to create less havoc, not more, usually.