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You may also contact Matthew with your family law case, question or concern at (601) 850-8000 or Matthew@bowtielawyer.ms.
One of the unique things about my profession is that I routinely get paid to discuss the embarrassing, wild and sometimes just ignorant things people do.
The DIRT is/are the things that the other side says you did, even if you did not do them; substance abuse, crimes, non-payment, hateful things…
What cannot be stressed enough is that you have to be honest and forthright with your attorney. If you hold something back and do not disclose the full story it can come back to bite you. Being bitten could mean not getting custody, having to pay attorney’s fees, going to jail or any combination of these.
What are Examples of Dirt you ask?
These are just 24 examples of DIRT that I saw…last week. These dirty deeds may be done dirt cheap, but it’s going to cost you to clean it up!
Matthew Thompson is a family law attorney in Mississippi and can only attempt to clean up the DIRT that the client admits.
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You may also contact Matthew with your family law case, question or concern at (601) 850-8000 or Matthew@bowtielawyer.ms.
As an attorney that practices exclusively family law I am routinely posed with questions and scenarios of one person doing everything right and the other everything wrong. However, when I start digging and asking the right questions I find that “It’s Never What you Think!”
Recently, I was asked by a friend to speak to friend about her potential case. The potential client had “done everything right,” but the ex and his attorney were “out to destroy her” and would not let up. She was at wit’s end. As I was speaking with her I was asking about custody, visitation and support issues.
Lawyer: “You are current on your support, right?”
Client: “Yeah…” (said with hesitation)
Lawyer: “That did not sound convincing”
Client: “Well, I paid for my kids medical and activities and he has a great job and doesn’t NEED it.”
Lawyer: “His job doesn’t really matter as far as support goes…what were you ordered to pay?
Client: “$475.00 per month.”
Lawyer: “When was the last time you paid $475.00?
Client: “Years.” (said with hesitation)…”He didn’t need the money.”
This was not an instance of having “done everything right.” Why the ex waited years to pursue it is a mystery, but he nonetheless has the right to.
In another instance, a “good father” just wanted reasonable visitation. I asked, as I always do,”What is the dirt on you?”
The DIRT is/are the things that the other side says you did, even if you did not do them; substance abuse, crimes, non-payment, hateful things.
In this instance “the dirt” was long ago, recreational drug use and just some routine fussing and fighting. I said in jest, “Well, so long as you didn’t have a meth lab in the garage…” “Actually, it was.” There’s your dirt.
So to all of you well-meaning helpful friends, you are NOT getting the full story. And to all of you eager attorneys seeking to fight injustice and righting the wrongs of others, get the full story. It’s Never What you Think!
Matthew Thompson is a family law attorney in Mississippi and only believes half of what he sees and even less of what he hears.
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Divorcing spouses make it about themselves. How he “threw it all away” or how she “abandoned the marriage.” But, when children are in the equation they need to be First.
I know of too many instances where the children are treated as pawns. One parent uses the other parent’s time or access to the children to get more of what they want or are just difficult for the sake of being difficult. A parent refusing to allow the other parent to see the child for strategic reasons is just wrong.
Okay your husband strayed, does that mean he does not deserve to see the children? Too often the parent that has the child is tempted to play “keep away.” If your wife is a floozy that does not mean the children do not need their mother?
In all instances where there are NOT genuine safety concerns that parent should have access and see the children as much as practical. Period. What’s the best thing you can do for your child?
Put your children first. Make sure the other parent has quality time and access to the children. If dad was not an every other weekend dad before the divorce, who is served by him becoming one after the divorce?
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You may also contact Matthew with your family law case, question or concern at (601) 850-8000 or Matthew@bowtielawyer.ms.
Paternity…Filiation…Who’s Your Daddy, whatever you call it, it’s the process where the Court determines who the biological father is and what his rights and obligations are.
Mississippi Law provides a number of statutes dealing with the Law on Paternity. Miss. Code Ann. 93-9- 1, et seq.
93-9-7 provides that the father of a child born out-of-wedlock is liable to the same extent as the father of a child born of lawful matrimony. The father can be liable for the “reasonable expenses of the mother’s pregnancy and confinement, and for the education, support, maintenance and medical expenses related to the child.” Additionally, a father can be liable for past support and maintenance for a period of one year prior to the filing of the paternity action. The father may also be ordered to pay the mother’s reasonable attorney fees.
Either the mother, the father, or any public authority chargeable by law with the support of the child may bring a paternity suit. This is what allows DHS to pursue these matters. The statute provides that once paternity is established the child shall have the surname of the father.
These actions may be brought in Chancery Court, Circuit Court or County Court, though most often are brought in Chancery.
Any agreements between the mother and father must be approved by the Court to be enforceable. A voluntary acknowledgement of paternity by a father is subject to a one year limit to challenge paternity. After one year, the only way to set aside a paternity Order is to show fraud, duress or material mistake and that you are not the father. Be careful about this. I always recommend a DNA/blood test, even if you “know.” If you are wrong you may still end up on the hook financially.
Also, if you find yourself in a paternity suit be sure to file for a determination of custody and visitation. DHS will not always do this and you could end up with financial obligations and no specific rights to see your child.
Matthew Thompson is a family law attorney in Mississippi and encourages you to hire an attorney if you find yourself in a paternity case.
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You may also contact Matthew with your family law case, question or concern at (601) 850-8000 or Matthew@bowtielawyer.ms.
One of the best pieces of advice is to “ride the wave.” In family law, such as life, adversity is a given. How you respond is the key.
How you choose to deal with that adversity will directly contribute to the results you get. Oftentimes it is a common reaction to fight fire with fire, and we all know the eye for an eye sentiment, but that may not be the best response. I have previously blogged on dealing with stress and uncertainty. This one is a little different. It is not so much how to cope, but to try to use the adversity to your advantage.
A great example was when I was faced with a young father being sued for an increase in child support. He had experienced an increase in income and was really starting to enjoy life. The ex sued him and he viewed this as ‘just his luck.’ I explained that she may be entitled to a child support increase, that he was paying a very low amount from a previous order, that some time had passed since last being in Court and that an increase was due. As I discussed his situation he disclosed some frustration with the visitation schedule. How his new job, while paying well made the current schedule difficult to work and the ex was not too easy to get along with. I told him that since we are “going to court” that we should seek a visitation modification. He did not want to make things worse. I told him it would not. Ultimately, an increase in support was negotiated along with a visitation schedule change that allowed him more time.
He rode the wave, sure it cost more money, but that is what the law requires once you subject yourself to the Court system. He used the adversity to get a better result.
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You may also contact Matthew with your family law case, question or concern at (601) 850-8000 or Matthew@bowtielawyer.ms.
If you don’t know what the “right” legal answer is, do what’s “right,” and you’ll be fine.
-Matthew Thompson
Matthew Thompson is a Family Law Attorney in Mississippi. That is all.
Follow the blog: BowTieLawyer Visit the website: Thompson Law Firm
You may also contact Matthew with your family law case, question or concern at (601) 850-8000 or Matthew@bowtielawyer.ms
Hiring a Non-Family Lawyer for your Family Law Case May NOT be Best. I am not disparaging Car Wreck attorneys, except to the extent that they should not be taking on a contested divorce case unless they know what they are doing.
All too often I find myself dealing with a client’s divorce after the fact. After they had a non-family law attorney “handle” it for them. It is NOT pretty.
There is a misconception among attorneys that regardless of anything else, you can always do Divorces and Wills. This claim has shown true, especially in the economic climate we are currently experiencing. There is a glut of “divorce” attorneys who aren’t.
The benefits of having an experienced attorney handle your matter are countless. An experienced attorney knows the ins and outs of the law, knows the particulars of the local judges, and knows the other attorneys that practice in the area. This knowledge and experience is INVALUABLE. Additionally, experience is the best teacher. Practicing family law for close two decades, or longer, is always advantageous to 1) having studied domestic relations in law school and 2) helped your neighbor’s cousin in his divorce.
Want to know that you are being represented and represented well, get an attorney experienced in the area of law you need. Want your divorce to be a Car Wreck, hire a Car Wreck attorney.
Matthew Thompson is an experienced family law attorney in Mississippi and would hire a car wreck attorney to handles his car wreck case, not a divorce.
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You may also contact Matthew with your family law case, question or concern at (601) 850-8000
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