Category Archives: Divorce

When a Child testifies, You May Not get what you Intended.

“Well, let’s just ask little Johnny what he wants!”

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Vlado/freedigitalphotos.net

[P]arents in a divorce proceeding should if at all possible refrain from calling any of the children of their marriage…as witnesses, and counsel should advise their clients against doing so except in the most exigent cases.” Jethrow v. Jethrow, 571 So.2d 270, 274 (Miss. 1990).

The Mississippi Supreme Court added that the reason and wisdom for this precaution needed no amplification as to why you should not compel your child to testify if it can be avoided.

The potential for emotional trauma is a given. But, another unstated reason a la Forrest Gump, “you never know what you are gonna get.

In a particularly acrimonious custody case, the mother insisted on calling the 6 year old daughter to testify. She wanted her to say she wanted to live with mom. Mom had recently redecorated her room in pink and butterflies. However, when questioned she responded as follows;

Court: If you had a magic wand and you could wave it and live wherever you wanted, where would that be?

Child: A Castle!

Not mom’s, not dad’s, but a castle.

Matthew Thompson is a Child Custody  Attorney in Mississippi and would also like to live in a castle.

Follow the blog: #BowTieLawyer . You may also contact Matthew with your family law case or question at (601) 850-8000 or Matthew@bowtielawyer.ms

 

Influencing Your Child (negatively) does NOT make you a good parent.

Little Johnny will say just about anything…

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Tears at the custody/visitation exchange are normal. Usually, 5 minutes after the exchange all is back to normal. The tears do not mean that they genuinely fear the other parent, or worse, or that they only want to be with just one parent.  They are a child.

As a parent of that child your primary responsibility should be to comfort the child! You should not make the situation worse by being pouty, confrontational or making statements that inflame the situation. You should not toy with the child’s emotion on whether they can stay just a  little while longer.

Instead you should fake happiness for the child that they get to spend time with the other parent.  For example, “Look Little Johnny, mommy is here. You and mommy are going to have so much fun and I’ll see you again real soon!” Do this while helping the child get in the car and make sure he or she has their stuff.  That’s it.

That’s how exchanges should go. If you, as a parent, are not helping, then you are the problem. Try to ease the anxiety for your child. Put your own selfishness aside and stop the hate of the other parent for about 3 minutes.

Getting your child to tell the other parent what “they” want, when we all know it’s really what you want is damaging as well. It’s not an accomplishment to get a child to say something. It’s easy. What apparently is not easy is being a decent human being. Try it. You may just have a happier child and a happier life.

Matthew Thompson is a Child Custody attorney and advises his clients to do the right thing and what is best for the child EVERY time.

Follow the blog: #BowTieLawyer Visit the website: #Thompson Law FirmYou may also contact Matthew with your family law case, question or concern at (601) 850-8000 or Matthew@bowtielawyer.ms

When Winning at all Costs is No Win!

Did you Win?

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David Castillo Dominici /freedigital photos.net

I am regularly asked how many cases have I won? Potential clients, non-lawyers, friends and relatives use this terminology. But, winning a case isn’t really about winning. It’s about mitigating damages and liability. It’s about preserving finances and relationships, if possible. A win is really knowing the best and worst case scenario and achieving what you aimed for or better.

When is a win not a win? When you leave a wake of havoc, of hate and a trail of tears.

Unfortunately, some lawyers take this tactic in Family Law. They believe scorched earth is the best and only approach. What they do not tell their clients, though, is that it is really only what is best for themselves, the lawyer. It is best for the lawyer financially, or perhaps they even have a personal animus against the other party or the the other lawyer.

Lawyers, in my experience, do not like to give the tough advice. That the fight is not worth it emotionally or financially. That if you win the other side ends up hating you and will spend the rest of their days waiting for you to mess up so they can pounce upon you.

The win at all costs approach results in frivolous filings, extreme delay, and angry judges. The overwhelming “win” results in an appeal, bar complaints and ultimately you may well lose in the end.

A Win is really not being unpleasantly surprised in the end result. A win equates with maintaining your relationships with your children and immediate family and having the means to provide a satisfactory life.

Matthew Thompson is a Divorce attorney and advises his clients when a win is a win and when it is not.

Follow the blog: #BowTieLawyer Visit the website: #Thompson Law FirmYou may also contact Matthew with your family law case, question or concern at (601) 850-8000 or Matthew@bowtielawyer.ms

A little Monday Humor; Guide to Love & Lasting Relationships

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Matthew Thompson is a Divorce attorney and reminds you that finding some humor will make a Monday better.

Follow the blog: #BowTieLawyer Visit the website: #Thompson Law FirmYou may also contact Matthew with your family law case, question or concern at (601) 850-8000 or Matthew@bowtielawyer.ms

New Year, Same Bad Conduct.

Happy New Year? Rubbish…

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vectorolie /freedigitalphotos.net

Oftentimes we think a new year is a new beginning, or at least it should be. But, alas, people will constantly disappoint you…

More Bad Parenting:

Refusing to allow the other parent to SPEAK to the child. Literally interfering with phone calls, turning the phone off and lying about not knowing why they “don’t ever call.”

Calling when you know they are unavailable. Well, at least you called, right? We know when they are at work, or driving through the dead zone between here and Mobile. Call then, don’t leave a message.

Waiting until you find out the plans the other parent made and then making your own to conflict with them being able to pick-up or drop-off and still keep their plans. How clever.

The Other parent finding out the child is on an out-of-town trip with another family after the child has left. Pay no attention to Joint Legal custody requirements. It’s all about your convenience. It was a free trip. Last minute even. Who has the time to inform the other parent?

Not giving them gifts from the other parent. They took the time, effort and thought to provide a present and you forgot it in the trunk and, well, that’s not your problem…

Not listing the Other parent on school and medical forms. That will show them. They are not a “real” parent.

Read about Terrible parenting here, being Terrible in general here and Rotten parenting here.

Matthew Thompson is a Child Custody attorney and warns that Judge’s don’t appreciate this garbage.

Follow the blog: #BowTieLawyer  #Thompson Law FirmYou may also contact Matthew with your family law case, question or concern at (601) 850- 8000 or Matthew@bowtielawyer.ms

Ask for Help.

All too often we ask for help too late or not at all.

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Stuart Miles /freedigital photos.net

The sentiment in family law that you can work it out and that even though the papers say one thing, but we are really going to do another is foolhardy. The papers say what they mean and mean what they say. The idea that you cannot afford an attorney so why bother asking is dangerous. In many instances you cannot afford to be without an attorney. the details matter.

Asking for help is not a sign of weakness or that something is wrong with you.  I use a professional CPA. I hire persons who are professionals in their field when I need those services.  You should do the same when it comes to dealing with Family Law.

Also, in our personal lives it’s okay to ask for help. Counselors, preachers and others with particular skills, training and life experiences can serve you well. However, it does not help if you do NOT ask for help.

Matthew Thompson is a family law  attorney  and knows you know when to ask for help and encourages you to please do so.

Follow the blog:#BowTieLawyer Visit the website: #Thompson Law Firm  You may also contact Matthew with your family law matter or question at (601) 850-8000 orMatthew@bowtielawyer.ms

Family Law Practice Areas…defined.

Family Law areas defined for you. There is a lot of legal terminology used everyday that we attorneys take for granted that everyone knows what they mean, but that is not always the case.  Here are a few of the major areas of family law, the simple explanations and links to more information.

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Stuart Miles /freedigital photos.net
  • Divorce– the legal and final end to a marriage, a.k.a. “a conscious uncoupling”

Fault Process and “No-Fault” process.

  • Child Custody– determination of the custodian(s), visitation schedule and important decision making for a minor child.
  • Child Support– who pays, how much and for what.

Additional practice areas will be featured and defined throughout the year.

Matthew Thompson is a family law  attorney  and handles a variety of family law legal matters.

Follow the blog:#BowTieLawyer Visit the website: #Thompson Law Firm  You may also contact Matthew with your family law matter or question at (601) 850-8000 or Matthew@bowtielawyer.ms

Appealing Your Case…the Basics.

“An Appeal is a request that a higher Court review the decision of the lower Court.  A lot of family law decisions are appealed, though very few are successful or result in significant change.”

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Matthew Thompson after admittance to the U.S. Supreme Court.

What’s required prior to filing an Appeal?

Final Order.  A Final Order is one which decides all of the issues and leaves nothing more for the Court to decide.  A Temporary Order (clickable), for example, is not appealable.  It is not a Final Order.

How do you file your appeal?

In Divorce Court there are several options available.  The first option is filing what is called a Motion for New Trial*.  This is filed in the same Court, with the same Judge and must be filed within 10 days of the entry of the Final Order.  This is not merely a chance for a “second bite at the apple,” but rather is to point out significant errors of fact and/or law upon which the Judge relied, which resulted in the wrong decision.  These are routinely denied.  They are denied for several reasons and primarily because the Judge just decided the case and the matter is “fresh.”.

(*There has been some debate over whether a Motion for New Trial is required to perfect an appeal.  The most recent answer is that it is not required in family law matters, however it is a good idea to file one out of an abundance of caution. Please rely upon your attorney for making this decision.)

After the Motion for New Trial is ruled upon by the Court you may file a Notice of Appeal. This is filed in the Divorce Court (Chancery Court) and must be filed within 30 days of either the Final Judgment, or within 30 days of the ruling on the Motion for New Trial, whichever is later.

All appeals are filed with the Mississippi Supreme Court (MSSC).  From there the MSSC decides whether to hear the case or assign it to the Court of Appeals (COA).  The majority of the Family Law cases are assigned to the COA. There is a filing fee, as well. Notice of the Appeal is sent to the original Court that ruled, the Judge, the MSSC, and the other party.

The Appeal process is deadline driven. 

There are deadlines to file the appeal, to pay an estimate for preparing the transcript, to designate the record.  The other party may cross-appeal.

After the initial flurry, a briefing schedule is issued.  

The one appealing,  the Appellant, has 40 days to file their brief and can get multiple extensions of 30, 20, and 10 days.  The Appellee, the one responding to the appeal, then has 30 days to reply and can get extensions of 30, 20, and 10 days.  The Appellant can then file a reply brief within 14 days, with up to one extension of 30 days.  After all the briefs are submitted the Court may allow Oral Argument, if it is a case of first impression or complex, and the Court may not.  Once the briefs are submitted the Court has 270 days to rule.  They rule in a written Opinion that is handed down on either Tuesdays or Thursdays after 1:00 pm.

Even if you “win” you may only get a “do-over.”  Most appeals are denied.  When they are granted it usually results in the matter being sent back to the same Judge that ruled on the case to begin with, with instructions to reconsider certain facts or law.  It does not mean you win and they lose.

Matthew Thompson is a family law appellate attorney that has handled  numerous appeals.  

Follow the blog:#BowTieLawyer Visit the website: #Thompson Law Firm  You may also contact Matthew with your family law matter or question at (601) 850-8000 or Matthew@bowtielawyer.ms