Category Archives: Modifications

Child Custody, Child Support, Divorce, Grandparent Visitation, Modifications, Opinion

Going to Court is HARD.

09/25/2013 BowTieLawyer 1 Comment

I have blogged recently about Why Settling Your Case is Best, avoiding Court, and Why Going to Court is “Best.” The gist of the former being settlement is preferred for having a say in the final outcome and having predictability and the latter, going to Court is best when there is no room for compromise.

Unfortunately, I have been involved in the latter, a case where there was no room for compromise. From my perspective one party was primarily the aggressor and was encouraged by the attorney to take unreasonable positions and force the matter to Court. Of course, they did not view their own positions as meritless. Also, I’m sure they thought my client and I were wretches…

Regardless, hard feelings abounded. This case had some history. What should have been a run of the mill divorce and custody matter was extremely contentious and was litigated over an issue that was not an issue. In Round One, after most of a day of trial, the Court stopped the matter and told the other side they were going to lose on their issue and the case did settle.

But, like the A-Team, they had a plan! Just a few months after it was final they decided another bite at the apple was proper. Based primarily on speculation…which was eventually admitted at Court, the other side sought to change the deal they had agreed to just months prior. Round Two in Court was based on rank speculation. After hours of testimony, haughty lecturing, and what can only be described as highly stylized testimony by the aggressive party and deeply emotional testimony by the other, the Court dismissed the case.

So, what is the take away? Sour grapes? I don’t think so, at least not on my part. It made me realize, yet again, Court is HARD. It is not fun. It is emotional. And, even when you win, nobody wins. Here’s what else can be guaranteed, when you successfully defend against baseless claims from the other side who thinks they are completely in the right when they are not, you better get ready for posturing and Round 3!

Matthew Thompson is a family law attorney and knows that sometimes even when you win you don’t win.

Follow the blog: BowTieLawyer Visit the website: Thompson Law FirmYou may also contact Matthew with your family law case, question or concern at (601) 850-8000 or Matthew@bowtielawyer.ms

Child Custody, Child Support, General Legal, Modifications, Visitation

Emancipation Proclamation (Having minority status removed from a Child)

08/12/2013 BowTieLawyer 2 Comments

Emancipation is the process of having a child, a person under 21 in Mississippi, “declared” an adult, removing their status as a minor.

Emancipation shall occur upon the child;

Attaining the age of 21 (unless agreed to extend, but not shorten)
Marrying
Joining the military and serving on a full-time basis
Is convicted of a felony and is sentenced to incarceration of two (2) or more years for committing such felony

Other forms of Emancipation include Court-Ordered Emancipation when your child;

Discontinues full-time enrollment in school having attained the age of eighteen (18) years, unless the child is disabled
Voluntarily moves from the home of the custodial parent or guardian, and establishes independent living arrangements, obtains full-time employment and discontinues educational endeavors prior to attaining the age of twenty-one (21)
Cohabits with another person without the approval of the parent obligated to pay support; “cohabits” generally means living together as if husband and wife.

Having a child emancipated ends child support obligations and ends the parents responsibilities for that child. That child is now an adult, as far as the parent’s obligations go.

Emancipation may be sought for a variety of reasons. The parent and child could have a bad relationship, the child may need to enter into a contract or may desire to make a medical decision contrary to the parent’s wishes. Emancipation may be brought on by either parent and/or the child, through a next friend.

Matthew Thompson is a family law attorney in Mississippi and reminds you a minor is a minor in Mississippi until 21, not 18.

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You may also contact Matthew with your family law case, question or concern at (601) 850-8000 or Matthew@bowtielawyer.ms.

Child Custody, Child Support, Divorce, General Legal, Marriage, Modifications

Don’t Bring Your Child to the Meeting With the Divorce Attorney (Video)

Video 08/08/2013 BowTieLawyer Leave a comment

A prior blog brought to life!

Bring your complaints, questions and a financial statement. Don’t bring your child.

Follow the blog: BowTieLawyer Visit the website: Thompson Law Firm

You may also contact Matthew with your family law case, question or concern at (601) 850-8000 or Matthew@bowtielawyer.ms.

alienation, Child Custody, Child Support, Crime, Divorce, General Legal, Modifications, Opinion, Visitation

The DIRT!** (24 Dirty Deeds in Family Law)

08/02/2013 BowTieLawyer 1 Comment

One of the unique things about my profession is that I routinely get paid to discuss the embarrassing, wild and sometimes just ignorant things people do.

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The DIRT is/are the things that the other side says you did, even if you did not do them; substance abuse, crimes, non-payment, hateful things…

What cannot be stressed enough is that you have to be honest and forthright with your attorney. If you hold something back and do not disclose the full story it can come back to bite you. Being bitten could mean not getting custody, having to pay attorney’s fees, going to jail or any combination of these.

What are Examples of Dirt you ask?

1) Instances of substance abuse,
2) DUIs,
3) Public Drunks,
4) Child Endangerment charges for DUI with the children present,
5) Arrests for assault,
6) Battery,
7)Crimes of moral turpitude or
8) Violence,
9) Substance abuse, even if not caught,
10) Knowing you would test “hot” or “positive” for an illegal drug or
11) Prescription drug for which you do not have a prescription.
12) And not telling your attorney any of the above is dangerous, even if they don’t ask. Sometimes we don’t know or think to ask if you
13) Are on probation from any crime.
14) Is there a no contact Order against you,
15) Domestic violence charges pending,
16) Active warrants for your arrest,
17) Suspended license.
18) Are you under investigation?
19) Meth lab in the garage,
20) Not to mention having a paramour, an affair,
21) Multiple affairs,
22) Paying for your mistresses’ vacation,
23) Buying the mistresses’ child a car, or
24) Expending large sums of money on frivolous things.

These are just 24 examples of DIRT that I saw…last week. These dirty deeds may be done dirt cheap, but it’s going to cost you to clean it up!

Matthew Thompson is a family law attorney in Mississippi and can only attempt to clean up the DIRT that the client admits.

Follow the blog: BowTieLawyer Visit the website: Thompson Law Firm

You may also contact Matthew with your family law case, question or concern at (601) 850-8000 or Matthew@bowtielawyer.ms.

Child Custody, Child Support, Crime, General Legal, Modifications, Visitation

It’s Never What you Think!

07/31/2013 BowTieLawyer 1 Comment

As an attorney that practices exclusively family law I am routinely posed with questions and scenarios of one person doing everything right and the other everything wrong. However, when I start digging and asking the right questions I find that “It’s Never What you Think!”

Recently, I was asked by a friend to speak to friend about her potential case. The potential client had “done everything right,” but the ex and his attorney were “out to destroy her” and would not let up. She was at wit’s end. As I was speaking with her I was asking about custody, visitation and support issues.

Lawyer: “You are current on your support, right?”

Client: “Yeah…” (said with hesitation)

Lawyer: “That did not sound convincing”

Client: “Well, I paid for my kids medical and activities and he has a great job and doesn’t NEED it.”

Lawyer: “His job doesn’t really matter as far as support goes…what were you ordered to pay?

Client: “$475.00 per month.”

Lawyer: “When was the last time you paid $475.00?

Client: “Years.” (said with hesitation)…”He didn’t need the money.”

This was not an instance of having “done everything right.” Why the ex waited years to pursue it is a mystery, but he nonetheless has the right to.

In another instance, a “good father” just wanted reasonable visitation. I asked, as I always do,”What is the dirt on you?”

The DIRT is/are the things that the other side says you did, even if you did not do them; substance abuse, crimes, non-payment, hateful things.

In this instance “the dirt” was long ago, recreational drug use and just some routine fussing and fighting. I said in jest, “Well, so long as you didn’t have a meth lab in the garage…” “Actually, it was.” There’s your dirt.

So to all of you well-meaning helpful friends, you are NOT getting the full story. And to all of you eager attorneys seeking to fight injustice and righting the wrongs of others, get the full story. It’s Never What you Think!

Matthew Thompson is a family law attorney in Mississippi and only believes half of what he sees and even less of what he hears.

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Child Custody, Child Support, Divorce, General Legal, Modifications, Visitation

Riding the Wave – “Coping” with Family, Law and Family Law

07/08/2013 BowTieLawyer Leave a comment

One of the best pieces of advice is to “ride the wave.” In family law, such as life, adversity is a given. How you respond is the key.

How you choose to deal with that adversity will directly contribute to the results you get. Oftentimes it is a common reaction to fight fire with fire, and we all know the eye for an eye sentiment, but that may not be the best response. I have previously blogged on dealing with stress and uncertainty. This one is a little different. It is not so much how to cope, but to try to use the adversity to your advantage.

A great example was when I was faced with a young father being sued for an increase in child support. He had experienced an increase in income and was really starting to enjoy life. The ex sued him and he viewed this as ‘just his luck.’ I explained that she may be entitled to a child support increase, that he was paying a very low amount from a previous order, that some time had passed since last being in Court and that an increase was due. As I discussed his situation he disclosed some frustration with the visitation schedule. How his new job, while paying well made the current schedule difficult to work and the ex was not too easy to get along with. I told him that since we are “going to court” that we should seek a visitation modification. He did not want to make things worse. I told him it would not. Ultimately, an increase in support was negotiated along with a visitation schedule change that allowed him more time.

He rode the wave, sure it cost more money, but that is what the law requires once you subject yourself to the Court system. He used the adversity to get a better result.

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You may also contact Matthew with your family law case, question or concern at (601) 850-8000 or Matthew@bowtielawyer.ms.

Child Custody, Divorce, General Legal, Irreconcilable differences, Modifications, Opinion, Property Division, Visitation

Why is my Court Hearing Somewhere Else?

06/24/2013 BowTieLawyer Leave a comment

Mississippi has 20 Chancery Court Districts and 49 Chancery Court Judges, but Mississippi has 82 counties. Most Chancery Court Districts, therefore, include more than one county.

You file your case in your home county’s Chancery Clerk’s Office, most often. This is the appropriate “jurisdiction.” One District has a first and second judicial district, being Hinds County. Most districts, however, include more than one County. In that instance you still file in your home county, but you may well see the judge, have Court, and otherwise be in another County for your case.

I have been asked and have heard litigants try to use this as an advantage. Perhaps not having to testify at home, making witnesses have to drive, or having Court somewhere else will lead to a better result. It doesn’t. It is the same Judge, the same facts and in most instance just 30-45 minutes this way or that way from the other Courthouse.

One thing to remember when having litigation in multiple counties is to be mindful where the Court file is. It is the lawyer’s job to see that the Court file makes it to Court. I have seen time and again someone forget the Court file and the Judge be unwilling to take action until it can be retrieved or recessed until another day when it can be obtained.

I was involved in a 10th District case, commonly thought of as Hattiesburg, but had actual Court hearings in 5 different counties throughout the pendency of the case. In no particular order, we had a trial and motion hearings in 1) Forrest County, Hattiesburg; 2) Lamar County, Purvis; 3) Marion County; Columbia, a temporary hearing in 4) Pearl River County, Poplarville, and a motion for New Trial in 5) Perry County, New Augusta. Each hearing had the same judge, attorneys and parties, but were in so many different places because that is where the Judge was the days we had court appearances.

Matthew Thompson is a Family Law attorney, with a statewide practice, and recommends you hire a lawyer either in the area of where your case is or a lawyer who practices in that area.

Follow the blog: BowTieLawyer Visit the website: Thompson Law Firm

You may also contact Matthew with your family law case, question or concern at (601) 850-8000 or Matthew@bowtielawyer.ms.

Child Custody, Divorce, General Legal, Marriage, Modifications, Opinion

5 More What NOT To-Dos in Family Law

06/18/2013 BowTieLawyer 2 Comments

I have blogged on FaceBook Don’ts several times. 5 Family Law FaceBook Don’ts & 5 More FaceBook Don’ts. This one is a little more general, but are still things NOT to do in Family Law matters.

Don’t Follow Bad Advice Blindly. If your attorney advises you to break into the house and take everything, including the dishwasher and the stove, think twice. Who does that? Who gives that advice? How could a Judge ever think that was a good thing? Click here for more. Bad Advice = Bad Lawyer.
Don’t Make it a WAR if you Don’t Have to. It only makes the lawyers more money. You get less. Go to WAR only when it is absolutely necessary. Life and safety.
Don’t Solely Blame the Other Side. This piece is sometimes tough to swallow. That SOB you married may be mostly at fault, and sometimes completely at fault, but it’s rare that it is one side’s fault 100%. Acknowledging your culpability, at least to yourself, will help you process what you are going through.
Don’t Bad Mouth the Other Parent. It may be true. He may deserve it. You may tell the Judge, your counselor and your lawyer. No one else needs to know.
Don’t Forward the Children Communications Between you and the Other Parent. This is so inappropriate. Placing the children in the middle of a parental dispute is a classic symptom of parental alienation. If you are doing this you better watch out. You may not be able to stop the advice given in number 2, above.

Matthew Thompson is a Family Law attorney and tries to give good advice. It may still not be easy to follow, but it is designed to create less havoc, not more, usually.