“Splitting the Baby” is a phrase that has taken root in our lexicon. It references King Solomon’s decision where two mothers were embroiled in a “custody battle” over a child, each claiming the child to be their own. 1 Kings 3:16 KJV
In family law courts, oftentimes the Judges compare themselves to Solomon when making decisions. These Judges must make tough decisions based testimony and evidence that are frequently in stark contrast depending upon which party was offering up the facts and proof.
In the Biblical Custody Battle, King Solomon was faced with one infant and two mothers. Solomon did not know which woman was the child’s real mother, so he arranged a test to see if he could determine the true mother. In Solomon’s case, the real mother was willing to let the other woman have her child in order to spare his life, while the other woman (whose own baby previously died) agreed with King Solomon that the baby should be cut in two, with each woman receiving half. The real mother in King Solomon’s court was willing to make the ultimate sacrifice of giving the child up, so that he might live. The Holy Bible, King James Version, 1 Kings 3:16.
These days, however, it seems that when we talk about “splitting the baby” we are referencing making decisions that leave both parties unhappy. I have heard a Judge say that if both parties leave unhappy then they must have gotten the result right. There may be some instances where this holds true, however there was no splitting in the Biblical version of Solomon’s decision.
Splitting the baby may be the solution if it’s not an actual baby. But the wisdom of Solomon is remembered, celebrated, and often cited because he, in fact, did not split the baby.
Thompson Law Firm, pllc Matthew Thompson (601) 850-8000
With Thanksgiving and Christmas quickly approaching, it is always a good idea to be vigilant in protecting your identity. Along with serious shopping comes a serious chance of having your identity stolen.
stockimages /freedigitalphotos.net
Clients frequently inquire about what can be done about stolen identity and fraudulent charges. The following are steps you should take immediately.
(1) Contact the local police department and file a report of the theft. Be sure to take as much documentation of the ID theft as you can. *(Not all police stations will want to take the report, but the Federal Trade Commission has a Staff Memorandum to Police on the Importance of Taking Identity Theft Police Reports which may be helpful in having the report filed.)
(2) Contact any creditors for the accounts that you believe have been corrupted or fraudulently opened.
a. Ask to speak with the Fraud or Security Department and inform them of the theft. Some companies accept an Identity Theft Affidavit, but some require particular documentation to be provided. Be sure to obtain the specific address to which a dispute letter or ID Theft Affidavit should be mailed. Follow up the conversation with a letter.
b. Request that the company provide all documents underlying the fraudulent activity. By law the Fair Credit Reporting Act section 609(e), provides that creditors must give you a copy of the application or other business transaction records relating to your identity theft free of charge. Creditors must provide these records within thirty (30) days of receipt of your request. In order to obtain these records, you must mail your request to the address chosen by the creditor. Contact the creditor’s fraud department by telephone to find out if the creditor has chosen a specific address.
c. If someone is misusing your existing checking account, accounts, or electronic funds transfers, such as your debit card, you should dispute in writing any charges run up by the identity thief on those accounts. Insist on having debits reinstated. Ask the representative to send you the company’s fraud dispute forms. Dispute any bad checks passed in your name with merchants so they do not start collections actions against you.
(3) Contact the Fraud Department the credit reporting agencies (CRAs). Inform them that you are an identity theft victim and that you wish to place a fraud alert on you file, as well as a victim’s statement requesting a call to you by the credit bureaus before opening or changing credit accounts. An initial 90-day fraud alert will be placed, and this can be extended to 7-years, or a credit freeze can be placed. (As soon as the credit bureau confirms your fraud alert, the other two credit bureaus will be automatically notified to place fraud alerts, and all three credit reports will be sent to you free of charge. The victim should receive confirmation letters from all three CRAs confirming the 90-day fraud alert. If no letter is received, the individual CRA should be contacted, and the victim may be asked to provide additional proof of the identity theft.)
The three major credit agencies and their contact information are:
1. Equifax
For Fraud Alerts, call: 800‑525‑6285 and write:
P.O. Box 740241, Atlanta, GA 30374‑0241
2. Experian
For Fraud Alerts, call: 888‑EXPERIAN (397‑3742) and write:
P.O. Box 9530, Allen TX 75013
3. TransUnion
For Fraud Alerts, call: 800‑680‑7289 and write:
Fraud Victim Assistance Division, P.O. Box 6790, Fullerton, CA 92634
(4) Each CRA will provide a free credit report. The victim should review the report. The victim should review the reports for errors. If there are errors the victim will need to contact the CRAs in order to correct the credit reports. The CRAs are required to block fraudulent items that the consumer did not open or that the consumer did not make. Attempting to have the report corrected can be initiated by the victim sending an Identity Theft Report (police report), letter explaining what is fraudulent (highlight areas on the report), and proof of identity.
(5) File a report with the Federal Trade Commission (FTC) on their Identity Theft Hotline at 1‑877‑IDTHEFT(1‑877‑438‑4338) or their website at www.consumer.gov/idtheft.
(6) Contact the Consumer Protection Division of the Mississippi Attorney General’s Officeand request an ID Theft Packet at 1‑800‑281‑4418. Complete the ID Theft Affidavit in the packet and return it to this address:
(7) Once the identity theft dispute has been resolved with the creditor, ask for a letter from the creditor stating that they have closed the disputed accounts and have discharged you of the fraudulent debts. This letter is the best proof if errors relating to this account reappear on your credit report or the victim is mistakenly contacted again about the fraudulent debt. Keep old files. Although most cases once resolved, stay resolved, in some cases, problems can crop up again.
*Meridian attorney Amanda Evans provided this insightful primer on what to do.
Matthew Thompson is Domestic Relations Lawyer in Mississippi and reminds you to be smart when you shop in stores and online.
Follow the blog: BowTieLawyerVisit the website: Thompson Law FirmYou may also contact Matthew with your family law case, question or concern at (601) 850-8000 or Matthew@bowtielawyer.ms
Unfortunately, disappointment is a part of life. It can also be a major part of family law cases. Most often in a family law case, someone is going through just about the most difficult thing they do as an adult when dealing with a divorce/custody matter. Either they have done something, or their spouse has, which has caused significant upheaval, loss of trust and despair A large part of family law includes helping someone cope with those feelings and emotions.
While there is no easy answer on how to cope, there are a number of things that can be done to promote healing.
Seek Counseling. I recommend counseling to almost every client. This is NOT because I think something is wrong with them. It is because Counselors are people who have expertise in dealing with persons going through emotional crisis. A lawyer can deal with a legal crisis, and some are good at the emotional issues too, but all are not. A counselor can help and they have often heard and dealt with a similar circumstance. Counseling can be with a licensed counselor, a religious leader or a sage friend with experience.
Keep a Routine. Keeping a routine can help more than you think. A recent study showed that persons who made their bed each morning were more organized and felt better about themselves throughout the day. This routine made their day better. This is something easy to do and it only takes 2 minutes, but can make a difference in how you feel. I encourage my clients to get in a routine and keep it. I encourage them to continue their exercise regimen or start one. Let’s Go Walking (a la Haley Barbour!). I also encourage them to eat the right stuff. While this may sound dumb or not my business – a family law matter concerns mind, body, and spirit.
Listen to Your Attorney. One of the easiest things to say and hardest to do is to follow the advice of your attorney. Ideally, you are working with an attorney that has handled many situations, which have been similar to yours. Just like you, attorneys learn from experience. Hire one that knows what they are doing and then take their advice. This one factor alone is worthy of its own blog…
Disappointment is a part of life and, seemingly, a large part of family law. Effectively dealing with the “bumps” in the road will help you get back on track.
The clever title to this blog was proposed by an attorney friend of mine that handles some family law matters, but practices extensively in other areas of law.
We were discussing what gets them off track. The parties, after getting over the initial shock of divorce, decide they will be adults and agree. They think they can agree to the divorce and resolve their differences. After all, they did manage to get along for 9 years, have two kids and bought a house. What could go wrong? Perhaps they searched online and looked at divorceyourself.com. A very risky idea!
Well, the old adage that the devil is in the details is never truer than in divorce. The No Fault idea gets derailed when the fellow realizes he will have to pay 20% of his income towards child support, plus health insurance and alimony. Yikes! He realizes it’s cheaper to keep her. (sorry for the cliché) The wife gets squirrely when she realizes that her half of the retirement account is consumed by balancing the equity in the house, or that the money she gets cannot be realized without significant tax consequences.
Parties to a divorce don’t realize child support is until 21, not 18 in Mississippi. They don’t know the types of custody, or what that means. They agree to things that they cannot legally agree to and fail to consider the consequences. They agree to “legal terms” that do not exist in Mississippi law, because they saw it online. And lastly, one of them is finally convinced to see an attorney by a close friend or family member and when they do and realize the consequences of what they were about to do and back out, the other side becomes angry and backs out too. All of a sudden an easy deal becomes complicated, expensive and adversarial.
With the election one day away, this is the (obligatory) “be sure you vote” blawg.
Tuesday we go to the polls to elect State and National officials. You get to vote for the person you think should be President, and a MS Senator, (if in your district) Congressmen, 2 MS Supreme Court Justices , and a host of local positions, such as election commissioners.
We hear and see a lot of talk about Mississippi being subject to Federal oversight in her elections. Below is a brief explanation of that Federal oversight.
Mississippi has a stormy past when it comes to voting rights – attempting to restrict minority access to voting – and those past State actions can still be felt in today’s elections. Mississippi is one of 8 states subject to the Department of Justice “pre-clearance” and oversight on any voting/election law changes pursuant to the Voting Rights Act of 1965. (Some sections of other states are subject to the pre-clearance oversight).
This legislation was designed to ensure the right of minority citizens to register and vote, and to prevent discriminatory laws passed by state and local entities. Both permanent and non-permanent provisions are proscribed. One permanent provision applies nationwide and outlaws any voting practice that results in the denial of voting rights on the basis of a person’s race, color, or membership in a language-minority group.
The non-permanent provisions that are relevant to Mississippi require “pre-clearance” of any changes in voting/election laws and allows the DOJ to send federal observers to the polls in Mississippi
To pass muster any changes in voting/election laws must demonstrate that the voting change does not have the purpose or effect of discriminating on the basis of race or language minority. If the DOJ or the federal court determines that there is a discriminatory purpose or effect, then an objection is issued. If an objection is issued, the change cannot be put into operation.
Source: The Voting Rights Act and Mississippi 1965-2006, A Report of the RenewtheVRA.org, by Robert McDuff.
With that brief history of MS voting you can see the impact and importance that the right to vote has for many citizens. Exercise your right to vote; let your voice be heard and your vote be counted.
Thompson Law Firm, PLLC (601) 850-8000 Matthew@wmtlawfirm.com
Watching the first half of the State game has inspired a blog! MSU is running a 3-4 defensive scheme. This means there are 3 defensive linemen and 4 linebackers. The problem here is that A&M is blocking 3 defenders with 5 and sometimes 6 blockers. The State defensive front is outnumbered.
This allows the A&M QB, Johnny Football, time to find the open receiver or scramble around and run. Two things he’s good at.
The point is you have to have a game plan coming in, but when it’s not working and you find yourself trailing by 4 scores it’s time for a strategy change.
Divorce is the same way. You have to have a strategy to get to your end game. Be it through litigation or negotiation, but if you find it not working, change strategies!
A recent case I was involved in had the wife doggedly pursuing a cruelty based divorce. But cruelty “proof” was light to say the least. No physical abuse, no real major altercations and no extreme behavior by the husband. The wife’s strategy however was to take it all the way and get her divorce, despite that she could not. The husband’s strategy was to defend and negotiate. The wife refused. The husband stayed the course, much like, I suspect A&M will stay the course the second half.
Well, after a 1/2 day in trial and the wife’s “best” witnesses of cruelty barely making a fizzle with the Court, she decided to negotiate. The end result was an agreement to all issues with both giving more in some areas and taking less in others.
Her forgoing her prior game plan in the face of a defense ready for it resulted in an agreed resolution. Let’s hope MSU makes halftime adjustments with their defense and changes their game plan for the better.
UPDATE… The Bulldogs made adjustments at the half they came out with a 4 and 5 down linemen defensive scheme. They have been able to hold a potent A&M offense to just one additional score so far and have scored themselves and are putting together some good looking drives.
Make adjustments in your game plan as needed.
Thompson Law Firm, PLLC
(601) 850-8000
Matthew@ wmtlawfirm.com
There is article after article and study after study listing the Top Reasons for Divorce. Here are my “unscientific” Top Reasons for Divorce.
courtesy of stockimages/freedigitalphotos.net
1) Sex. The complaint is either one wants too much, one wants too little, or one is having it with someone they are not supposed to. Frequently its a combination of all 3.
2) Money. The complaint here is that one has too little, one wants too much, or one is sharing it with someone they are not supposed to, or spending on something they should not, or spending money they don’t have…
3) Getting Old. This complaint can refer to; a) the concept of the relationship getting old, losing its “new car smell,” becoming incompatible, or it can refer to b) the parties actually getting old and, typically, the fellow trading his current spouse for a newer, younger model. Crass, but true. Additionally, getting old can refer to c) the bad habits, the nagging, the actions that you used to be able to tolerate from your spouse, but have gotten on your nerves so much that you can no longer take it.
These are frequent reasons that cause divorce, or at least contribute to the cause of divorce.
What else do you see as a primary reason for divorce? Post in Comments or Email.
In Family Law the “best interest of the child” is the paramount concern for the Court. When parents are feuding over custody, or child related matters, the Court is charged with deciphering what is in the best interest of the child by determining the facts of a particular situation and how those facts relate to a list of certain factors. This is called an Albright Analysis (previously blogged).
However, while this may result in the Court determining which parent is in the best interest of the child- it only ultimately results in a comparison of the two and does not indicate what act/actions are in the best interest of the child. In English, this means the Court picks the better parent, but it does not automatically mean that the favored parent is a great parent. Rather it just means they were better than the alternative.
So, what is a great parent? A parent that reads to their young child, provides for their education, health and general welfare. A parent that has fun with their child and encourages creative thinking and activities. Well, yes. All of these are factors in good parenting.
But what is the best thing that YOU can do for your child? Love them. Sure, but in addition, LOVE the other parent.
What? That creep? Yes. Loving the other parent means you make sure the other parent is in that child’s life in a meaningful way. Loving the other parent means you are not denigrating them to the child or others. Loving the other parents means you do not do anything to cause your child to not love the other parent.
I see the opposite too much! One parent hates the other. They try to punish the other parent by restricting their access to the child. This is wrong. (There may be circumstances that warrant this, but they are rare and are usually temporary.)
What is the BEST thing you, as a parent, can do for your Child? LOVE the other parent enough to let them have a relationship with the child.
In family law courts, oftentimes the Judges compare themselves to Solomon when making decisions. These Judges must make tough decisions based testimony and evidence that are frequently in stark contrast depending upon which party was offering up the facts and proof.
(601) 850-8000 - - BowTieLawyer.MS 