Category Archives: Visitation

Child Custody, Child Support, Crime, General Legal, Modifications, Visitation

It’s Never What you Think!

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As an attorney that practices exclusively family law I am routinely posed with questions and scenarios of one person doing everything right and the other everything wrong.  However, when I start digging and asking the right questions I find that “It’s Never What you Think!”

Recently, I was asked by a friend to speak to friend about her potential case.  The potential client had “done everything right,” but the ex and his attorney were “out to destroy her” and would not let up.  She was at wit’s end.  As I was speaking with her I was asking about custody, visitation and support issues.

Lawyer:      “You are current on your support, right?”

Client:         “Yeah…” (said with hesitation)

Lawyer:      “That did not sound convincing”

Client:         “Well, I paid for my kids medical and activities and he has a great job and doesn’t NEED it.”

Lawyer:      “His job doesn’t really matter as far as support goes…what were you ordered to pay?

Client:         “$475.00 per month.”

Lawyer:      “When was the last time you paid $475.00?

Client:         “Years.” (said with hesitation)…”He didn’t need the money.”

This was not an instance of having “done everything right.”  Why the ex waited years to pursue it is a mystery, but he nonetheless has the right to.

In another instance, a “good father” just wanted reasonable visitation. I asked, as I always do,”What is the dirt on you?”

The DIRT is/are the things that the other side says you did, even if you did not do them; substance abuse, crimes, non-payment, hateful things.

In this instance “the dirt” was long ago, recreational drug use and just some routine fussing and fighting.  I said in jest, “Well, so long as you didn’t have a meth lab in the garage…”  “Actually, it was.”  There’s your dirt.

So to all of you well-meaning helpful friends, you are NOT getting the full story.  And to all of you eager attorneys seeking to fight injustice and righting the wrongs of others, get the full story.  It’s Never What you Think!

Matthew Thompson is a family law attorney in Mississippi and only believes half of what he sees and even less of what he hears. 

Follow the blog: BowTieLawyer

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Child Custody, Child Support, divorce, Grandparent Visitation, Visitation

Put Your Children First.

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Divorcing spouses make it about themselves.  How he “threw it all away” or how she “abandoned the marriage.”  But, when children are in the equation they need to be First.

I know of too many instances where the children are treated as pawns.  One parent uses the other parent’s time or access to the children to get more of what they want or are just difficult for the sake of being difficult.  A parent refusing to allow the other parent to see the child for strategic reasons is just wrong.

Okay your husband strayed, does that mean he does not deserve to see the children?  Too often the parent that has the child is tempted to play “keep away.”  If your wife is a floozy that does not mean the children do not need their mother?

In all instances where there are NOT genuine safety concerns that parent should have access and see the children as much as practical. Period.  What’s the best thing you can do for your child?

Put your children first.  Make sure the other parent has quality time and access to the children.  If dad was not an every other weekend dad before the divorce, who is served by him becoming one after the divorce?

Follow the blog: BowTieLawyer Visit the website: Thompson Law Firm

You may also contact Matthew with your family law case, question or concern at (601) 850-8000 or Matthew@bowtielawyer.ms.

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Child Custody, Child Support, General Legal, Opinion, Visitation

Paternity; Determining Baby Daddy

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Paternity…Filiation…Who’s Your Daddy, whatever you call it, it’s the process where the Court determines who the biological father is and what his rights and obligations are.

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Mississippi Law provides a number of statutes dealing with the Law on Paternity. Miss. Code Ann. 93-9- 1, et seq.

93-9-7 provides that the father of a child born out-of-wedlock is liable to the same extent as the father of a child born of lawful matrimony.  The father can be liable for the “reasonable expenses of the mother’s pregnancy and confinement, and for the education, support, maintenance and medical expenses related to the child.”  Additionally, a father can be liable for past support and maintenance for a period of one year prior to the filing of the paternity action.  The father may also be ordered to pay the mother’s reasonable attorney fees.

Either the mother, the father, or any public authority chargeable by law with the support of the child may bring a paternity suit.  This is what allows DHS to pursue these matters.  The statute provides that once paternity is established the child shall have the surname of the father.

These actions may be brought in Chancery Court, Circuit Court or County Court, though most often are brought in Chancery.

Any agreements between the mother and father must be approved by the Court to be enforceable.  A voluntary acknowledgement of paternity by a father is subject to a one year limit to challenge paternity.  After one year, the only way to set aside a paternity Order is to show fraud, duress or material mistake and that you are not the father.  Be careful about this.  I always recommend a DNA/blood test, even if you “know.”  If you are wrong you may still end up on the hook financially.

Also, if you find yourself in a paternity suit be sure to file for a determination of custody and visitation.  DHS will not always do this and you could end up with financial obligations and no specific rights to see your child.

Matthew Thompson is a family law attorney in Mississippi and encourages you to hire an attorney if you find yourself in a paternity case.

Follow the blog: BowTieLawyer Visit the website: Thompson Law Firm

You may also contact Matthew with your family law case, question or concern at (601) 850-8000 or Matthew@bowtielawyer.ms.

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Child Custody, Child Support, divorce, General Legal, Modifications, Visitation

Riding the Wave – “Coping” with Family, Law and Family Law

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One of the best pieces of advice is to “ride the wave.”  In family law, such as life, adversity is a given. How you respond is the key.

How you choose to deal with that adversity will directly contribute to the results you get.  Oftentimes it is a common reaction to fight fire with fire, and we all know the eye for an eye sentiment, but that may not be the best response.  I have previously blogged on dealing with stress and uncertainty.  This one is a little different. It is not so much how to cope, but to try to use the adversity to your advantage.

A great example was when I was faced with a young father being sued for an increase in child support.  He had experienced an increase in  income and was really starting to enjoy life.  The ex sued him and he viewed this as ‘just his luck.’  I explained that she may be entitled to a child support increase, that he was paying a very low amount from a previous order, that some time had passed since last being in Court and that an increase was due.  As I discussed his situation he disclosed some frustration with the visitation schedule. How his new job, while paying well made the current schedule difficult to work  and the ex was not too easy to get along with.  I told him that since we are “going to court” that we should seek a visitation modification.  He did not want to make things worse. I told him it would not. Ultimately, an increase in support was negotiated along with a visitation schedule change that allowed him more time.

He rode the wave, sure it cost more money, but that is what the law requires once you subject yourself to the Court system.  He used the adversity to get a better result.

Follow the blog: BowTieLawyer 

You may also contact Matthew with your family law case, question or concern at (601) 850-8000 or Matthew@bowtielawyer.ms.

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Child Custody, divorce, General Legal, Irreconcilable differences, Modifications, Opinion, Property Division, Visitation

Why is my Court Hearing Somewhere Else?

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Mississippi has 20 Chancery Court Districts and 49 Chancery Court Judges, but Mississippi has 82 counties.  Most Chancery Court Districts, therefore, include more than one county.

You file your case in your home county’s Chancery Clerk’s Office, most often.  This is the appropriate “jurisdiction.” One District has a first and second judicial district, being Hinds County.  Most districts, however, include more than one County.  In that instance you still file in your home county, but you may well see the judge, have Court, and otherwise be in another County for your case.

I have been asked and have heard litigants try to use this as an advantage.  Perhaps not having to testify at home, making witnesses have to drive, or having Court somewhere else will lead to a better result. It doesn’t.  It is the same Judge, the same facts and in most instance just 30-45 minutes this way or that way from the other Courthouse.

One thing to remember when having litigation in multiple counties is to be mindful where the Court file is.  It is the lawyer’s job to see that the Court file makes it to Court.  I have seen time and again someone forget the Court file and the Judge be unwilling to take action until it can be retrieved or recessed until another day when it can be obtained.

I was involved in a 10th District case, commonly thought of as Hattiesburg, but had actual Court hearings in 5 different counties throughout the pendency of the case.  In no particular order, we had a trial and motion hearings in 1) Forrest County, Hattiesburg; 2) Lamar County, Purvis; 3) Marion County; Columbia, a temporary hearing in 4) Pearl River County, Poplarville, and a motion for New Trial in 5) Perry County, New Augusta.  Each hearing had the same judge, attorneys and parties, but were in so many different places because that is where the Judge was the days we had court appearances.

Matthew Thompson is a Family Law attorney, with a statewide practice, and recommends you hire a lawyer either in the area of where your case is or a lawyer who practices in that area.

Follow the blog: BowTieLawyer Visit the website: Thompson Law Firm

You may also contact Matthew with your family law case, question or concern at (601) 850-8000 or Matthew@bowtielawyer.ms.

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Child Custody, Opinion, Visitation

-Every Other Weekend- It’s not just the weekends anymore.

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“Standard” visitation is a term thrown around by lawyers and the Courts, but there is no such thing in Mississippi.

Having said that, Judges do have a standard visitation schedule.  Confused yet?

Standard visitation is thought of as every other weekend, from Friday at 6:00 pm until Sunday at 6:00 pm.  It  includes Wednesday afternoons from 4:00 pm to 7:00 pm during those weeks a parent does not have weekend visitation, and 4 weeks in the summer (non-consecutive), and alternating major holidays.

One of the most difficult things to explain to a divorcing parent who will no longer be living with their children is that they may not be able to see the children anytime they want to.  This is disturbing to me, to them and it should be to the Courts.  That just because a mom and dad are getting a divorce that they can no longer live with or be with their children a substantial amount of time.

I encourage generous and liberal visitation. I encourage joint custody, but acknowledge there are circumstances where it is not best.  Also, there are some parents that don’t want it.  Every other weekend is fine.  The parent can work and go out and have a life and then have a fun weekend with the kids, while the other parent is harping on them about grades, homework, bedtime and being well-behaved.  It seems there is always a “Disney Dad,” that has elaborate trips and fun planned for his weekend, while the full-time mom is making egg-carton planters, explaining the wonders of growing bell peppers from seeds.

So what do you do?  Be reasonable.  Look for ways to allow the other parent to actually parent. Click here for the best thing you can do for your child! If you are on the receiving end of every other weekend, seek more. Ask for it.  There is a trend in the law where non-custodial parents, usually dads, are getting more time.  In fact, in Rankin County Mississippi there is a judge who regularly awards every other weekend, but defines it as Wednesday to Monday every other weekend.  The pick-ups and drop-offs are at school.  There is less opportunity for mom and dad to have contact and typically less conflict.  It affords a non-custodial parent a lot time.  This may not be right in every situation, but it is better than the alternative, usually.

Matthew Thompson is a family law attorney in Mississippi and thinks parents should continue to be parents even if they are no longer living together.

Follow the blog: BowTieLawyer Visit the website: Thompson Law Firm

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Child Custody, divorce, General Legal, Opinion, Visitation

Emergency! The 411 on 911 in Court

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I get the call, at least, weekly.  It is an EMERGENCY!  I have to get into Court yesterday to solve some critical issue.  However, once I start asking questions the emergency is more like an inconvenience.

For Court purposes, think of an emergency as being a true emergency; danger of life or limb, or the immediate threat of imminent and irreparable harm.

The Court judges emergencies on a case by case basis to make sure they have merit.  Some examples  of emergencies include;

  • when the custodial parent refuses life saving medical treatment, against medical advice
  • when one parent absconds with a child, it’s not “their” time and refuses all contact
  • when a parent is using illegal drugs in the presence of the child and/or exposing the child to that lifestyle
  • is abusing the child
  • is neglecting the child

Some examples of non-emergencies, at least for Court purposes;

  • is 15 minutes late for a pick-up or a drop-off, even multiple times
  • stops paying the house mortgage
  • forgot to give the recommended dose of antibiotics
  • returns the child in the same clothes that he was dropped off in
  • returns the child with a scratch or bruise caused by kids being kids

Emergencies are quite often judgment calls and the Judges treat these seriously when they are serious and are nonplussed when a lawyer files an Emergency Petition over a non-urgent circumstance.  The Judges are also somewhat on guard against persons using ERs for tactical advantage and this can and does backfire on the petitioner if it is not a true emergency.

Matthew Thompson is a family law attorney in Mississippi and is careful on the draw about declaring emergencies.

Follow the blog: BowTieLawyer 

You may also contact Matthew with your family law case, question or concern at (601) 850-8000 or Matthew@BowTieLawyer.ms

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Child Custody, divorce, General Legal, Visitation

War Stories; A “Bump” in the Road

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Client sabotages own case.  Story at eleven.

FACTS:  A mother lost custody, temporarily, due to being arrested for driving on a suspended license.  The father was given the child and while mom was in jail he filed a fault based divorce, sought custody and had her served.  Mom was finally released and began the process of regaining custody.  Mom filed an Answer and a claim for custody herself.

At a temporary hearing, which is a legal band-aid to address custody and finances, mom presented her case.  Upon being cross-examined there were numerous questions about alleged drug use.  Well, fortunately, mom had been thoroughly interviewed and prepared by her lawyer.  Her ONLY dirt was the suspended license.

Mom denied the drug allegations as laughable. Some of mom’s financial records were introduced that showed her in some shady parts of town at unseemly hours. This was shown through ATM transactions. However, mom was a waitress at night and just blew off some steam with some co-workers and got beer money. No harm, no foul.  Then mom was asked about a pipe that was “found” in her belongings.  “Not mine,” she quipped.

The Court was ready to rule. The Judge indicated that it seemed dad may have taken advantage of mom’s unfortunate circumstances. It came out that he may have tipped off law enforcement that she was driving on a suspended license. That Jerk!  But, “out of an abundance of caution” the Court decided to Order hair follicle drug tests. In fact, the Judge ordered that they were to report to get tested that day, before 5:00 p.m., to have the results furnished to the Court directly from the testing facility and then, assuming all clear, he would determine the custody and visitation for each.

On the way out of the Courtroom mom asked…

“Can I delay the test?”    “What?!!!”    “I may have had a “‘bump...(of coke).'”

Nope. Not taking the test was not an option. Only the worst could be assumed from that. Mom took the test and failed, miserably.  A No Contact Order was entered. Dad passed. Mom lied.

Final Result:  A few weeks later the parties reconciled! Case dismissed.

Matthew Thompson is a Child Custody Attorney in Mississippi and while there may be bumps in the road it does not mean you should cause the bumps.

Follow the blog:#BowTieLawyer  You may also contact Matthew with your family law matter or question at (601) 850-8000 or Matthew@bowtielawyer.ms

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