Category Archives: alienation

alienation, Child Custody, Child Support, Divorce, General Legal, Irreconcilable differences, Opinion

What Does it Look Like when you are Not Ready for Divorce?

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I have written several times on sometimes just not being ready. I have seen multiple instances of person just not being ready…

What are the signs of Not Being Ready?

Things are moving TOO Fast.

The divorce process is actually fairly slow in Mississippi. It is typically at least 60 days with the average cases taking closer to 90 days, if uncontested. If contested, the case could take 6-18 months. A few take even longer!

Things are TOO Emotional.

Of course divorce is highly emotional. In some respects you may never “get over it.” However, the best results require that you treat the financial aspects as a business transaction. If you are so focused on the emotion, getting even or some other aspect, you’ll regret it later.

It makes NO Sense.

If you are in a brain fog and cannot explain in plain terms what the lawyer has explained to you, you may not be ready. I don’t expect you to know every legal term of art, but there are some very important concepts you need to understand.

It’s TOO Hard.

Getting to simple agreements is a Herculean effort. When commonsense has left the station.

These are just a few indicators of Not being ready. Be on the lookout for these signs in your spouse and/or yourself. Recognizing these issues will allow for them to be better handled.

Matthew Thompson is a Divorce and Custody lawyer in Mississippi and warns you that negotiating a divorce when you are not ready may result in regret.

alienation, Divorce, General Legal, Opinion

R. Kelly; Singing the Blues?

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Robert Sylvester Kelly, better known as R. Kelly, has been sued in Hinds County, Jackson, Mississippi.

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Kelly, a singer, songwriter, record producer, and former professional basketball player, is the named Defendant, along with his professional entities, in a pending Alienation of Affection lawsuit. The suit was filed by a Hinds County Sheriff’s Deputy, Kenny Bryant.

Bryant alleges that R. Kelly interfered with Bryant’s marriage relationship ultimately alienating his wife’s affection from Bryant.

Alienation of Affection is a Mississippi common law tort. That means it is a civil wrong, based on case-law and not a statute.

Alienation of Affection claims allow the wronged spouse to sue the “significant other” of the guilty spouse for the breakdown of the marriage.  There are only 6 states in the country that still recognize Alienation, but Mississippi is one of them and in the 1990’s our  appellate Courts reaffirmed Alienation as alive and well in the Mississippi legal system.

Alienation of Affection requires;

1) Wrongful Conduct, ie: adultery;

2) Loss of Affections, meaning there was a good relationship prior to the wrongful conduct; and

3) Causal Connection linking the Wrongful Conduct to the actual Loss of Affection.  All 3 must be present for a viable claim.  There is a 3 year statute of limitations in which to bring the claim, beginning when the loss of affection is finally accomplished.

Even if the above can be shown it does not mean that the Plaintiff wins. A jury would then decide a money value on the “damages.”  That is a hard figure to quantify.

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alienation, Child Custody, Child Support, Divorce, Grandparent Visitation, Modifications, Opinion, Visitation

Are YOU a Terrible Parent?

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Food, shelter and clothing are necessities and while providing them is the minimum, doing so alone does not make you a great parent.

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  • Do you encourage a relationship between the child and the other parent?
    • Just NOT badmouthing them does not make you a great parent. You should encourage and promote a good relationship.  Oh, and it’s required when parties have joint legal custody.
  • Do you withhold financial support from your child?
    • Money isn’t everything, but there is no excuse for not supporting your child.
  • Do you degrade the other parent to your child?
    • “I don’t lie to my child!” 1) Yes, you do. Everyday, to protect them. 2) Telling them how big a scoundrel the other parent is hurts the child. Half of their identity is from that scoundrel!
  • Do you prevent your child from seeing the other parent or interfere with the visitation?
    • Out of sight is NOT out of mind. Absence can make the heart grow fonder…

Matthew Thompson is a Child Custody Lawyer in Mississippi and reminds you to not be a terrible parent.

Follow the blog: BowTieLawyer 

You may also contact Matthew with your family law case, question or concern at (601) 850-8000 or Matthew@bowtielawyer.ms.

alienation, Child Custody, Crime, Divorce

One Way to Stop Having an Affair!

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Stop having the affair.

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Stop texting, talking, FaceBook stalking, lunching, canoodling, meeting, pining, yearning, lying, pretending, excusing, allowing, submitting.

Matthew Thompson is a Divorce Attorney in Mississippi and suggests you stop.

Follow the blog: BowTieLawyer Visit the website: Thompson Law Firm

You may also contact Matthew with your family law case at (601) 850-8000  or Matthew@BowTieLawyer.ms

alienation, Child Custody, Divorce, Visitation

Influencing Your Child (negatively) does NOT make you a good parent.

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Little Johnny will say just about anything…

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Tears at the custody/visitation exchange are normal. Usually, 5 minutes after the exchange all is back to normal. The tears do not mean that they genuinely fear the other parent, or worse, or that they only want to be with just one parent.  They are a child.

As a parent of that child your primary responsibility should be to comfort the child! You should not make the situation worse by being pouty, confrontational or making statements that inflame the situation. You should not toy with the child’s emotion on whether they can stay just a  little while longer.

Instead you should fake happiness for the child that they get to spend time with the other parent.  For example, “Look Little Johnny, mommy is here. You and mommy are going to have so much fun and I’ll see you again real soon!” Do this while helping the child get in the car and make sure he or she has their stuff.  That’s it.

That’s how exchanges should go. If you, as a parent, are not helping, then you are the problem. Try to ease the anxiety for your child. Put your own selfishness aside and stop the hate of the other parent for about 3 minutes.

Getting your child to tell the other parent what “they” want, when we all know it’s really what you want is damaging as well. It’s not an accomplishment to get a child to say something. It’s easy. What apparently is not easy is being a decent human being. Try it. You may just have a happier child and a happier life.

Matthew Thompson is a Child Custody attorney and advises his clients to do the right thing and what is best for the child EVERY time.

Follow the blog: #BowTieLawyer Visit the website: #Thompson Law Firm. You may also contact Matthew with your family law case, question or concern at (601) 850-8000 or Matthew@bowtielawyer.ms

alienation, Child Custody, Divorce, Visitation

New Year, Same Bad Conduct.

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Happy New Year? Rubbish…

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Oftentimes we think a new year is a new beginning, or at least it should be. But, alas, people will constantly disappoint you…

More Bad Parenting:

Refusing to allow the other parent to SPEAK to the child. Literally interfering with phone calls, turning the phone off and lying about not knowing why they “don’t ever call.”

Calling when you know they are unavailable. Well, at least you called, right? We know when they are at work, or driving through the dead zone between here and Mobile. Call then, don’t leave a message.

Waiting until you find out the plans the other parent made and then making your own to conflict with them being able to pick-up or drop-off and still keep their plans. How clever.

The Other parent finding out the child is on an out-of-town trip with another family after the child has left. Pay no attention to Joint Legal custody requirements. It’s all about your convenience. It was a free trip. Last minute even. Who has the time to inform the other parent?

Not giving them gifts from the other parent. They took the time, effort and thought to provide a present and you forgot it in the trunk and, well, that’s not your problem…

Not listing the Other parent on school and medical forms. That will show them. They are not a “real” parent.

Read about Terrible parenting here, being Terrible in general here and Rotten parenting here.

Matthew Thompson is a Child Custody attorney and warns that Judge’s don’t appreciate this garbage.

Follow the blog: #BowTieLawyer  #Thompson Law Firm. You may also contact Matthew with your family law case, question or concern at (601) 850- 8000 or Matthew@bowtielawyer.ms

alienation, Crime, Divorce

Alienation of Affection; Sued for Sex…

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Adultery may be considered a crime in Mississippi. It is defined as sexual intercourse with person of the opposite sex not your spouse.

Alienation of Affection (AOA) is a separate claim, known as a common law tort.  A tort is a civil wrong, as opposed to a criminal wrong.  AOA is rooted in case law and provides an equitable remedy and its intent is to protect marriages.

AOA allows the wronged spouse to sue the “significant other” of the guilty spouse for the breakdown of the marriage.  There are only 6 states in the country that still recognize AOA, but Mississippi is one of them and in the 1990’s our  appellate Courts reaffirmed AOA as alive and well in the Mississippi legal system.

Alienation of Affection requires;

1) Wrongful Conduct (ie: adultery, though not required), 2) Loss of Affections, and 3) a Causal Connection be shown between the Wrongful Conduct and Loss of Affection.  All 3 must be present for a viable claim.  There is a 3 year statute of limitations in which to bring the claim, beginning when the loss of affection is finally accomplished.

*As an aside, North Carolina recognizes Alienation of Affection and a separate tort called “Criminal Conversation” which only requires proof of sex with a married person for the “significant other” to be liable for damages.  It does not require loss of affections, causal connection or even a real relationship.

So what is the take away here?  Just because you are not married does not mean you are free to have an affair.  You will  be a material witness in the divorce case, could be subject to criminal prosecution and stand a pretty good chance of getting sued.  And if you go to North Carolina, you better behave.

Matthew Thompson is a family law attorney that can handle your divorce or alienation matter and warns persons about visiting North Carolina.

Follow the blog: BowTieLawyer    

Visit the website: Thompson Law Firm

You may also contact Matthew with your family law case at (601) 850-8000 or Matthew@bowtielawyer.ms

alienation, Child Custody, Child Support

Don’t be a Rotten Parent

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Rotten (adjective, rot·ten·er, rot·ten·est.)

1. decomposing or decaying; putrid; tainted, foul, or bad-smelling.
2. corrupt or morally offensive.
3. wretchedly bad, unpleasant, or unsatisfactory; 
miserable: a rotten piece of work; a rotten day at the office.
4. contemptible; despicable: a rotten little liar; a rotten trick.

Parenting is hard. Co-parenting even more-so especially with the one other person on the planet that you despise the most, but it MUST be done. Rotten parents, unfortunately, exist and some even thrive at their rottenness.  Seldom, it seems, are they actually held accountable for their conduct.

What is Rotten parenting?

  1. Bad mouthing the other parent to the child.
  2. Bad mouthing the child.
  3. Being unreasonable in your demands to spend time with the child.
  4. Being unreasonable in the other parent’s requests for additional time.
  5. Unreasonably interfering with the child’s schedule.
  6. Creating an unreasonable schedule for the child to interfere with the other parent’s time.
  7. Making false abuse allegations.
  8. Perpetrating abuse against the child and/other parent.
  9. Using finances to the detriment of the child.

So, what do you do as a “non-rotten” parent?  You keep doing the right things. Every time. It’s what is best for your child.  And when it’s bad enough, take action and follow it through.

Matthew Thompson is a Child Custody attorney and warns against rotten parenting.

Follow the blog: #BowTieLawyer . You may also contact Matthew with your family law case, question or concern at (601) 850-8000 or Matthew@bowtielawyer.ms

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