Tag Archives: custody

Get Off the Crazy Train, NOW!

Divorce can make you crazy.

The process is hard, confusing, emotional, and sometimes contrary to common sense.

It can be easy to lose yourself in the emotion and overreact. Don’t. Think before you act. Respond deliberately in a fashion calculated to help your case, your kids and ultimately yourself.

I have seen the Crazy Train too often. It always, always goes off of the rails. I have seen the horrible FaceBook postings about this parent and that parent. I have seen the game playing of bad mouthing one parent to school officials or friends. I have seen improper papers delivered demanding this result or that result. I’ve seen parents manipulate a child to fear and loathe the other. I have seen the schedule used to interfere with the other parent’s time.

Get off the Crazy Train NOW.

Matthew Thompson is a Divorce and Child Custody Attorney in Mississippi, the Hospitality State, and recommends you get off the crazy train.

Follow the blog:#BowTieLawyer Visit the website: #Thompson Law Firm  You may also contact Matthew with your family law matter or question at (601) 850-8000 or Matthew@bowtielawyer.ms

 

When is Perjury allowed?!?

I hear this often. “I don’t lie to my kids.”

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This is said shortly after one party disclosed the dirty details to the child regarding the other parent.  Followed by the statement, “they have the right to know.”

  1. They do not have the Right nor need to Know.
  2. This is never appropriate. Never. Never to a young child. What about when….? No. Never.

But what about that parent, with their righteous indignation, who says, “I do NOT lie to my child?”  My response?  “What about the Tooth Fairy?

I get a blank stare.

We lie to our children all the time  A LiveScience.com article stated it better, “Parents Lie to Children Surprisingly Often.”  This article concluded that parent’s lie to protect their child and lie to preserve some semblance of innocence and childhood for their children. These are all good things.

The Tooth Fairy question gets that indignant parent every time. There is no good reason to “tell all” about the other parent’s misdeeds.  You should be telling them that “mommy” loves them very much. When the kids are older they will realize the truth and appreciate you all the more for allowing them to have a childhood and to love their other parent, even if the other parent did not deserve it.

Back to the title. When is Perjury allowed? It’s Not. It was just click bait.

Matthew Thompson is a Child Custody Attorney in Mississippi and believes sometimes lying to your children is in their best interests.

Follow the blog:#BowTieLawyer Visit the website: #Thompson Law Firm  You may also contact Matthew with your family law matter or question at (601) 850-8000 or Matthew@bowtielawyer.ms

Happy Father’s Day

“I believe that what we become depends on what our fathers teach us at odd moments, when they aren’t trying to teach us. We are formed by little scraps of wisdom.”

― Umberto Eco, Foucault’s Pendulum

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FaceBook, the U.S. Supreme Court & Free Speech About your Ex

“Anthony Douglas Elonis, under the pseudonym ‘Tone Dougie,’ used the social networking Web site Facebook to post self-styled rap lyrics containing graphically violent language and imagery concerning his wife, co-workers, a kindergarten class, and state and federal law enforcement.” Elonis v. U.S.,  575 U.S. ___(June 1, 2015), quoting Slip Opinion. (**Caution, this post is longer than average and is incredible.**)

May 2010, Elonis’ wife of 7 years left him, taking their two children with her. Thereafter, Elonis began “listening to more violent music” and posting self-styled “rap” lyrics inspired by the music. Id.  Elonis changed the user name on his Facebook page from his actual name to a rap-style nom de plume, “Tone Dougie.” Id., at 249, 265.

The lyrics posted “included graphically violent language and imagery.”  He also interspersed  disclaimers that the lyrics were “fictitious,” with no intentional “resemblance to real persons.” Id., at 331, 329. Elonis described his writing as therapeutic.” Id., at 329.

“Elonis posted a photograph of himself and a co-worker at a Halloween event with Elonis  holding a toy knife against his co-worker’s neck. The caption Elonis wrote stated, “I wish.Id.

Elonis was fired for this posting and in response, posted a new entry: “Moles! Didn’t I tell y’all I had several? Y’all sayin’ I had access to keys for all the f***in’ gates. That I have sinister plans for all my friends and must have taken home a couple. Y’all think it’s too dark and foggy to secure your facility from a man as mad as me? You see, even without a paycheck, I’m still the main attraction. Whoever thought the Halloween Haunt could be so f***in’ scary?App. 332.

Shortly after he was fired, Elonis posted an adaptation of a satirical sketch that he and his wife had watched together. Id. In the “sketch” he is threatening his wife: “Hi, I’m Tone Elonis. Did you know that it’s illegal for me to say I want to kill my wife? . . . It’s one of the only sentences that I’m not allowed to say. . . . Now it was okay for me to say it right then because I was just telling you that it’s illegal for me to say I want to kill my wife. . . . Um, but what’s interesting is that it’s very illegal to say I really, really think someone out there should kill my wife. . . . But not illegal to say with a mortar launcher. Because that’s its own sentence. . . . I also found out that it’s incredibly illegal, extremely illegal to go on Facebook and say something like the best place to fire a mortar launcher at her house would be from the cornfield behind it because of easy access to a getaway road and you’d have a clear line of sight through the sun room. . . . Yet even more illegal to show an illustrated diagram. [diagram of the house]. . . .” Id., at 333.  The details about the home were accurate. Id., at 154.

Based on the above Elonis’ wife secured a Order of Protection. His response? “Fold up your [protection-from-abuse order] and put it in your pocket Is it thick enough to stop a bullet? Try to enforce an Order that was improperly granted in the first place Me thinks the Judge needs an education on true threat jurisprudence And prison time’ll add zeros to my settlement . . . And if worse comes to worse I’ve got enough explosives to take care of the State Police and the Sheriff ’s Department.Id., at 334. At the bottom of this post was a link to the Wikipedia article on “Freedom of speech.” Ibid.

Later,  Elonis posted “That’s it, I’ve had about enough I’m checking out and making a name for myself Enough elementary schools in a ten mile radius to initiate the most heinous school shooting ever imagined And hell hath no fury like a crazy man in a Kindergarten class The only question is . . . which one? Id., at 335.

Following this posting the FBI were notified and began monitoring Elonis and interviewed him. Following their visit, during which Elonis was polite but uncooperative, Elonis posted another entry on his Facebook page, called “Little Agent Lady.” “You know your s***’s ridiculous when you have the FBI knockin’ at yo’ door Little Agent lady stood so close Took all the strength I had not to turn the b**** ghost Pull my knife, flick my wrist, and slit her throat Leave her bleedin’ from her jugular in the arms of her partner [laughter] So the next time you knock, you best be serving a warrant And bring yo’ SWAT and an explosives expert while you’re at it Cause little did y’all know, I was strapped wit’ a bomb Why do you think it took me so long to get dressed with no shoes on? I was jus’ waitin’ for y’all to handcuff me and pat me down Touch the detonator in my pocket and we’re all goin’ [BOOM!] Are all the pieces comin’ together? S***, I’m just a crazy sociopath that gets off playin’ you stupid f***s like a fiddle And if y’all didn’t hear, I’m gonna be famous Cause I’m just an aspiring rapper who likes the attention who happens to be under investigation for terrorism cause y’all think I’m ready to turn the Valley into Fallujah But I ain’t gonna tell you which bridge is gonna fall into which river or road And if you really believe this s*** I’ll have some bridge rubble to sell you tomorrow [BOOM!][BOOM!][BOOM!]Id., at 336.

Elonis was convicted of violating Section 875(c), stating, an individual who “transmits in interstate or foreign commerce any communication containing any threat to kidnap any person or any threat to injure the person of another” guilty of a felony . 18 U. S. C. §875(c). He was sentenced to three years, eight months’ imprisonment and three years’ supervised release. Elonis appealed.

The U.S. Supreme Court reversed and remanded, holding in part, “that Elonis’s conviction was premised solely on how his posts would be viewed by a reasonable person, a standard feature of civil liability in tort law inconsistent with the conventional criminal conduct requirement of “awareness of some wrongdoing,” Staples, 511 U. S., at 606–607. This Court “ha[s] long been reluctant to infer that a negligence standard was intended in criminal statutes.” Rogers v. United States, 422 U. S. 35, 47 (Marshall, J., concurring). And the Government fails to show that the instructions in this case required more than a mental state of negligence. Hamling v. United States, 418 U. S. 87, distinguished. Section 875(c)’s mental state requirement is satisfied if the defendant transmits a communication for the purpose of issuing a threat or with knowledge that the communication will be viewed as a threat” and the Government failed to prove that Elonis intended to threaten or that his words would be viewed as a threat. Id. Slip Opinion.

Commentary:

The Court’s rationale primarily dealt with the standard that the Government had to prove and whether Elonis had to have the intent that his words be intended to be a threat or that he knew they would be taken as a threat. The Court was NOT concerned with how the recipients of the statements took them, nor was the Court concerned with the impact that the statements had on the person who were subject to the statements. When I first heard about this case, I thought a man was convicted for bad-mouthing his Ex on FaceBook.  This went well beyond that.  The Court’s reasoning was on the intent of the person making the comments and the standard that must be applied for Criminal penalties to apply.  Sometimes the Courts, out of an abundance of caution, make nonsensical decisions. The case was not about Free Speech. The case was whether it could be proven that Elonis intended a threat or knew it would be taken as a threat.  I think he intended it to be taken as a threat.

Matthew Thompson is a Domestic Relations Attorney in Mississippi, admitted to practice in the U.S. Supreme Court, and regardless of the Elonis decision advises that you not bad-mouth your ex on FaceBook whether you mean it or not.

Follow the blog: BowTieLawyer Visit the website: Thompson Law Firm

You may also contact Matthew with your family law case, question or concern at (601) 850-8000 or  Matthew@bowtielawyer.ms.

 

The Worst Fault Grounds Ever = A Divorce.

Emotional abuse, verbal abuse, multiple affairs are all grounds for divorce in Mississippi.

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But, what if your spouse was really bad?  What if they said, as my grandmother-in-law used to say, “both words?”  IE: “I was so mad that I said ‘both words!'” What if you had really, really bad grounds and lots of it?

That gets you a divorce.

One affair or 1,000= a divorce. Being incarcerated for 1 year or for life = a divorce. Abandonment and the other grounds, if proven, gain you a divorce.

Here’s what Fault does not equate too.  “Getting taken to the cleaners.”

A mother having an affair does not lose custody because of that fact alone. A father who cheats does not have to pay the wife due to that fact alone. The Court, instead, looks at the totality of the circumstances.  If you are a good parent despite your fault you will still get to see your child.  If it was a short marriage or your spouse makes more than you, you will not have to pay a boat load just because you messed up.  Courts do not “punish” you financially for affairs, usually.

Just because you messed up does not mean you have to continue messing up. Just because you messed up does not mean you will pay for it the rest of your days. But, if you are messing up Stop now and call an attorney.

Matthew Thompson is an Attorney practicing Divorce Law in Mississippi and may can help you even if you really, really messed up.

Follow the blog: BowTieLawyer 

Visit the website: Thompson Law Firm

You may also contact Matthew with your family law case, question or more information on Child Custody and Divorce. (601) 850-8000 or Matthew@bowtielawyer.ms.

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Do You Pass “The SleepOver Challenge?”

Sometimes being a Family Law Attorney leads to having information that you wish you did NOT have.

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From swinging key parties to recreational substance abuse, you would be surprised to learn what good, normal people are doing, even your neighbors.

One way to determine if your conduct is “ok” is to ask yourself “Do I pass the SleepOver Challenge?” This simple test is would you allow your child(ren) to go to a sleepover at so-and-so’s house if you knew they were doing whatever it is that you are doing.

If your answer is “yes” then in the eyes of a Judge you’ll probably be fine, (assuming you are in the bounds of societal norms, whatever that means).  If your answer is “no” it’s time to re-examine what you are doing.

And, if you have some rally bizarre behind closed doors conduct, just disregard this, keep it to yourself and don’t invite anyone for a sleepover.

Matthew Thompson is a Child Custody Attorney practicing Family Law in Mississippi.

Follow the blog: BowTieLawyer 

Visit the website: Thompson Law Firm

You may also contact Matthew with your family law case, question or more information on Child Custody and Divorce. (601) 850-8000 or Matthew@bowtielawyer.ms.

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Mic Test: “Testing 1, 2, 3…”: Recording in Divorce- Good, Bad & Ugly

Recording Fever has swept the divorce world, at least, since the 1980s.

Recordings set the record straight, right? It’s incontrovertible proof that so-and-so said what-they-said on any given date.  It’s right there on tape…

Not so fast. First of all is it legal where you are? States have differing laws on recordings. Generally, in this state, recording is legal so long as one person to the conversation is aware that it is being recorded. However, this is not the case in every state and some require all parties know and consent.

Secondly, is the recording a set-up?  There have been instances where a spouse (or ex-spouse) intentionally created circumstances where the other spouse would “blow up.”  Under these circumstances your recording may get you in more trouble than it’s worth.

Third, is the recording complete and unaltered? Recordings can be edited. They can certainly be manipulated.  Recordings must be authenticated, complete and relevant to be considered admissible.

Fourth, is it as valuable as you think? I know a Judge whose opinion is “You need to be focusing on parenting and communicating with the other parent rather than recording every interaction…

Recordings, either audio or video or both, may well be legal, legitimate, complete and valuable, but it could easily be illegal, under false circumstances, incomplete and of no value. Discuss the laws regarding recordings and admissibility with your attorney.

Matthew Thompson is a Family Law Attorney in Mississippi and warns clients of the possibility of surveillance and recordings, reminding them to say and do things they do NOT mind being played back in Court.

You may  contact Matthew with your family law matter or question at (601) 850-8000

Going to Bat for Your…Ex!? – Things Great Parents Do Whether they Like it or Not.

Ex-spouses.  The scourge of happy families.

Despising your ex is a “fundamental right” that most divorcees have earned. Usually, about half of the time, the ex deserves it. However, there are some involved who do not.  The children.

Promoting and encouraging a good relationship between your ex and the children is usually a very good thing.  You should do it.  How, you ask?

Go to Bat for the Other Parent.

If the child indicates they don’t want to go to visitation or that they would rather go to Jenny’s birthday, don’t acquiesce.  Tell them how important it is to go see the other parent. Tell them how much that time means to the other parent. Tell them how much fun they will have.  Even if you don’t believe it.

Think about if the roles were reversed.  Jenny’s birthday is not that important to your child. It’s just another school friend’s birthday. Time with the Other Parent is Priceless.

Here are some other tips on NOT being a Terrible Parent:

Signs of Terrible Parenting.

How to be a Terrible Person.

And, here’s the Best Thing You Can do for Your Child!

Matthew Thompson is a Child Custody  Lawyer in Jackson, Mississippi and goes to bat for his clients.

Follow the blog: BowTieLawyer Visit the websiteThompson Law FirmYou may also contact Matthew with your family law case, question or concern at (601) 850-8000 or Matthew@bowtielawyer.ms

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