Tag Archives: divorce

Don’t Bring Your Child to the Meeting With the Divorce Attorney (Video)

A prior blog brought to life!

Bring your complaints, questions and a financial statement. Don’t bring your child.

Follow the blog: BowTieLawyer Visit the website: Thompson Law Firm

You may also contact Matthew with your family law case, question or concern at (601) 850-8000 or Matthew@bowtielawyer.ms.

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“What Rhymes with Hug Me?” (hey, hey, hey)

Robin Thicke has a song out called Blurred Lines.

In the song he sings about sending mixed signals and how a response intended to mean one thing can be interpreted or mean another to the receiver.

Are your communications with your spouse doing the same thing?

Communication is critical.  It’s critical in a healthy relationship and it’s critical in the aftermath.  I have seen many, many post separation communications be misinterpreted and then used against the sending party. Email and text messages do not connote tone.  Glib comments, being cute or even a smart aleck can easily be inferred or not.

Also, too much communication leads to mixed signals, mixed emotions, false hope and opportunity for your words to be used against you.  Usually, I recommend limited communications and that those be about the children or emergencies, or course.  Sometimes, however, I recommend no contact.  You hired attorneys, let them do it.

Don’t blur the lines.

Matthew Thompson is a family law attorney in Mississippi and while Blurred Lines may be a catchy song, blurred lines of communication can lead to trouble.

Follow the blog: BowTieLawyer Visit the website: Thompson Law Firm

You may also contact Matthew with your family law case, question or concern at (601) 850-8000 or Matthew@bowtielawyer.ms.

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The DIRT!** (24 Dirty Deeds in Family Law)

One of the unique things about my profession is that I routinely get paid to discuss the embarrassing, wild and sometimes just ignorant things people do.

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The DIRT is/are the things that the other side says you did, even if you did not do them; substance abuse, crimes, non-payment, hateful things…

What cannot be stressed enough is that you have to be honest and forthright with your attorney. If you hold something back and do not disclose the full story it can come back to bite you. Being bitten could mean not getting custody, having to pay attorney’s fees, going to jail or any combination of these.

What are Examples of Dirt you ask?

  • 1) Instances of substance abuse,
  • 2) DUIs,
  • 3) Public Drunks,
  • 4) Child Endangerment charges for DUI with the children present,
  • 5) Arrests for assault,
  • 6) Battery,
  • 7)Crimes of moral turpitude or
  • 8) Violence,
  • 9) Substance abuse, even if not caught,
  • 10) Knowing you would test “hot” or “positive” for an illegal drug or
  • 11) Prescription drug for which you do not have a prescription.
  • 12) And not telling your attorney any of the above is dangerous, even if they don’t ask. Sometimes we don’t know or think to ask if you
  • 13) Are on probation from any crime.
  • 14) Is there a no contact Order against you,
  • 15) Domestic violence charges pending,
  • 16) Active warrants for your arrest,
  • 17) Suspended license.
  • 18) Are you under investigation?
  • 19) Meth lab in the garage,
  • 20) Not to mention having a paramour, an affair,
  • 21) Multiple affairs,
  • 22) Paying for your mistresses’ vacation,
  • 23) Buying the mistresses’ child a car, or
  • 24) Expending large sums of money on frivolous things.

These are just 24 examples of DIRT that I saw…last week. These dirty deeds may be done dirt cheap, but it’s going to cost you to clean it up!

Matthew Thompson is a family law attorney in Mississippi and can only attempt to clean up the DIRT that the client admits.

Follow the blog: BowTieLawyer Visit the website: Thompson Law Firm

You may also contact Matthew with your family law case, question or concern at (601) 850-8000 or Matthew@bowtielawyer.ms.

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Put Your Children First.

Divorcing spouses make it about themselves.  How he “threw it all away” or how she “abandoned the marriage.”  But, when children are in the equation they need to be First.

I know of too many instances where the children are treated as pawns.  One parent uses the other parent’s time or access to the children to get more of what they want or are just difficult for the sake of being difficult.  A parent refusing to allow the other parent to see the child for strategic reasons is just wrong.

Okay your husband strayed, does that mean he does not deserve to see the children?  Too often the parent that has the child is tempted to play “keep away.”  If your wife is a floozy that does not mean the children do not need their mother?

In all instances where there are NOT genuine safety concerns that parent should have access and see the children as much as practical. Period.  What’s the best thing you can do for your child?

Put your children first.  Make sure the other parent has quality time and access to the children.  If dad was not an every other weekend dad before the divorce, who is served by him becoming one after the divorce?

Follow the blog: BowTieLawyer Visit the website: Thompson Law Firm

You may also contact Matthew with your family law case, question or concern at (601) 850-8000 or Matthew@bowtielawyer.ms.

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Want Unconditional Love? Get a Puppy.

A happy, healthy husband-wife relationship is a wonderful thing. Though some would argue, increasingly rare.

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Due to various reasons that relationship can break down. Recently, I was inquiring about the reasons for the breakdown of a marriage and it came down to the feeling of the lack of unconditional love (UL).

Upon some additional questions I learned that UL, in this instance, meant something to the effect of, “I can do whatever I want, and you HAVE to love me…” Or stated in less offensive terms, “while I may not always put you first, I NEED to always be put first.”

I thought that’s not really UL. Then I thought, how can a relationship on this Earth between a husband and a wife, or any relationship between consenting adults really be one based upon UL? If it really was UL, would that be a healthy relationship? Would the receiver of UL fully appreciate what they are getting? Would the giver of UL ever be satisfied?

UL is what a puppy gives. ALWAYS happy to see you. Always eager to please. Cannot wait to be with you again and cute as the dickens. But even puppies get tired and poop on the floor…

Want the closest thing to unconditional love? Get a puppy. Want a healthy relationship? It takes work, mutual companionship and a desire to make it last.

Follow the blog: BowTieLawyer Visit the website: Thompson Law Firm

You may also contact Matthew with your family law case, question or concern at (601) 850-8000 or Matthew@bowtielawyer.ms.

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Why is my Court Hearing Somewhere Else?

Mississippi has 20 Chancery Court Districts and 49 Chancery Court Judges, but Mississippi has 82 counties.  Most Chancery Court Districts, therefore, include more than one county.

You file your case in your home county’s Chancery Clerk’s Office, most often.  This is the appropriate “jurisdiction.” One District has a first and second judicial district, being Hinds County.  Most districts, however, include more than one County.  In that instance you still file in your home county, but you may well see the judge, have Court, and otherwise be in another County for your case.

I have been asked and have heard litigants try to use this as an advantage.  Perhaps not having to testify at home, making witnesses have to drive, or having Court somewhere else will lead to a better result. It doesn’t.  It is the same Judge, the same facts and in most instance just 30-45 minutes this way or that way from the other Courthouse.

One thing to remember when having litigation in multiple counties is to be mindful where the Court file is.  It is the lawyer’s job to see that the Court file makes it to Court.  I have seen time and again someone forget the Court file and the Judge be unwilling to take action until it can be retrieved or recessed until another day when it can be obtained.

I was involved in a 10th District case, commonly thought of as Hattiesburg, but had actual Court hearings in 5 different counties throughout the pendency of the case.  In no particular order, we had a trial and motion hearings in 1) Forrest County, Hattiesburg; 2) Lamar County, Purvis; 3) Marion County; Columbia, a temporary hearing in 4) Pearl River County, Poplarville, and a motion for New Trial in 5) Perry County, New Augusta.  Each hearing had the same judge, attorneys and parties, but were in so many different places because that is where the Judge was the days we had court appearances.

Matthew Thompson is a Family Law attorney, with a statewide practice, and recommends you hire a lawyer either in the area of where your case is or a lawyer who practices in that area.

Follow the blog: BowTieLawyer Visit the website: Thompson Law Firm

You may also contact Matthew with your family law case, question or concern at (601) 850-8000 or Matthew@bowtielawyer.ms.

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When NOT to call 911 in your Family Law Matter (Video)

On the heels of the #1 blog post of the week comes the video in support thereof. Notice the multi-talented attorney tie the bow tie as he describes when not to call 911.

http://blog.bowtielawyer.ms/2013/06/17/when-not-to-call-the-police-in-your-family-law-matter/

Don’t Bring Your Child to the Divorce Lawyer Meeting.

Things happen. I get that.  But, generally speaking you should not bring your child to your first meeting with the divorce attorney.

The first meeting with the divorce attorney is tough, emotional and can be embarrassing.  At least, you could be discussing potentially embarrassing and confidential matters.  This is no place for small children.  They will be bored, hungry, thirsty, have to use the bathroom, and will break things in the office.  They will eat all of the candy in the dish, touch all the nick-knacks, and if their sibling is there a fight will ensue.  They will be loud, hot, cold, sleepy, wired, angry and goodness only knows what they will overhear and repeat at the most inopportune time.

Attorneys probably take for granted that the client knows not to bring their children to the meeting.   Don’t.  I try to make sure the client has thought about not bringing the children to the meeting.  It is genuinely rare that there is no other option.  So, if you are a client the only time to take the children is when the attorney requests it.  Otherwise, do NOT take your children to the meeting.  If there is no other choice, reschedule.  If you cannot reschedule, let the attorney know that you must bring your children and bring another adult to watch the children.

Matthew Thompson is a Family Law attorney and implores you to please NOT bring your children to the meeting with the lawyer.

Follow the blog: BowTieLawyer Visit the website: Thompson Law Firm

You may also contact Matthew with your family law case, question or concern at (601) 850-8000 or Matthew@bowtielawyer.ms.

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