Category Archives: Opinion

Divorce, Marriage, Opinion

Memo for Friends of Divorcing Couples; You Can Still be Friends

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I think it was a Country music song that said in Divorce you not only lose a spouse, but also half of your friends.

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Memo to Friends: You can still be friends.  The tendency is to avoid the divorcing parties.  After all you just don’t want to get involved and you could end up being a witness.  While this may be true you have to ask “Are you being a Friend?“

Oftentimes the friends choose a side or stay out all together, however divorce does NOT require this.  One of the divorcing parties may seem to “require” this, however.

If you are a close friend of a person going through a divorce or separation they need an outlet to vent to or take their minds off of things.  If you are a party to a divorce or separation requiring your friends to divorce your spouse is usually not the right answer.

Matthew Thompson is a Divorce Lawyer in Mississippi and reminds you of the wise words of WAR, the American funk band, – ” Why can’t we be friends…”

Follow the blog:#BowTieLawyer Visit the website: #Thompson Law Firm  You may also contact Matthew with your family law matter or question at (601) 850-8000 or Matthew@bowtielawyer.ms

Child Custody, Crime, Divorce, Marriage, Opinion

How Do You Tell When a Lawyer is Lying?

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“His lips are moving.”

Perjury has been blogged about.

Never lie. (PERJURY)  You will get caught.  The truth is easy to remember.  Remember, usually, it’s not the crime but the cover-up that gets you.  The very affluent husband, with a great job, testified that he was unsure of his income, but knew his expenses down to the penny.  He testified under oath that his expenses exceeded his income by over $10,000 per month.  The problem?  He had no debt.  This situation of making $10,000 less than he was spending had been going on for months, if not years, but he always made payroll, carried no debt, had no loans and could not explain how this could be.  Perhaps he had a money tree out back.

Lying to your kids has, as well.

It never fails.  One of the aggrieved parties to a divorce tells the dirty details to the child regarding the other parent.  This is never appropriate or “ok.”  Never. Never to a young child. What about when….? No. Never.

But that parent, with their righteous indignation tells me, or testifies, “I do NOT lie to my child?”  My response?  “Well, what about the Tooth Fairy?“

The Top 5 Lies of Divorce clients are here.

5.  Lies about Income.

4.  Lies about their role within the Home.  

3.  Lies about Other Marital Fault.

2.  Lies about Value$.

1.  Lies about Adultery.

Matthew Thompson is a Divorce Attorney in Mississippi and encourages potential clients to tell your lawyer the truth!

Follow the blog:#BowTieLawyer Visit the website: #Thompson Law Firm  You may also contact Matthew with your family law matter or question at (601) 850-8000 or Matthew@bowtielawyer.ms

Child Custody, Divorce, Opinion, Visitation

Going to Bat for Your…Ex!? – Things Great Parents Do Whether they Like it or Not.

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Ex-spouses.  The scourge of happy families.

Despising your ex is a “fundamental right” that most divorcees have earned. Usually, about half of the time, the ex deserves it. However, there are some involved who do not.  The children.

Promoting and encouraging a good relationship between your ex and the children is usually a very good thing.  You should do it.  How, you ask?

Go to Bat for the Other Parent.

If the child indicates they don’t want to go to visitation or that they would rather go to Jenny’s birthday, don’t acquiesce.  Tell them how important it is to go see the other parent. Tell them how much that time means to the other parent. Tell them how much fun they will have.  Even if you don’t believe it.

Think about if the roles were reversed.  Jenny’s birthday is not that important to your child. It’s just another school friend’s birthday. Time with the Other Parent is Priceless.

Here are some other tips on NOT being a Terrible Parent:

Signs of Terrible Parenting.

How to be a Terrible Person.

And, here’s the Best Thing You Can do for Your Child!

Matthew Thompson is a Child Custody  Lawyer in Jackson, Mississippi and goes to bat for his clients.

Follow the blog: BowTieLawyer Visit the website: Thompson Law FirmYou may also contact Matthew with your family law case, question or concern at (601) 850-8000 or Matthew@bowtielawyer.ms

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Divorce, General Legal, Irreconcilable differences, Opinion

BlackMail is Legal in Divorce – The Law in Mississippi; Promoting Fights Since 1976

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Mississippi law provides for parties to gain a divorce through one of two methods; 1) Agree to the Divorce and all issues, called an Irreconcilable Differences Divorce, or 2) pursue a Fault Based Divorce granted due to the other party’s misconduct. That’s it. Mississippi does not have a true NO FAULT divorce process.

So,what happens if you cannot agree and do not have grounds?

Divorce Blackmail

In the mid 1980’s this issue was pointed out by the Mississippi Supreme Court.

       “Prior to 1976 mature and responsible people who found their marriages irretrievably broken were offered by our law absurd choices…the complaining spouse had to choose between outright perjury and hoping that the chancellor would not strictly enforce the standards of proof legally required to establish one of the twelve grounds for divorce. The other choice…the ‘knock down, drag out’ fight to which the adversary system invariably leads…frequently creating more problems than are solved. Divorce had become a degrading, dehumanizing experience.”

Gallaspy v. Gallaspy, 459 So.2d 283 (MS 1984). Justice James Robertson, Concurring Opinion

       …further improvements in our law are needed. As enlightened and desirable as was the enactment of the Irreconcilable Differences Act in 1976, the job has not yet been completed…[the] Irreconcilable Differences Act–it facilitates, even encourages, financial blackmail…the chancery court has not authority to grant a divorce…unless the parties have reached an agreement…the spouse wanting the divorce or feeling that he or she must obtain a divorce is subject to financial blackmail. A party without fault grounds and no mutual agreement has only two options; (1) knuckle under and accept less than favorable financial terms or (2) go to court and try to obtain a contested divorce and an accompanying alimony and support award, when, as she and her lawyers surely must have known, she really did not have “grounds.” Id.

Justice Robertson actually proposed adding a 13th fault ground of Irreconcilable Differences, which if proven would allow the Court to award an ID divorce to one party, even over the objection of the other party and would allow the Court to rule upon the support issues.

However, Mississippi law actually perpetuates Blackmail.  If your spouse won’t agree and you don’t have fault grounds then you are STUCK.

There have been a number of bills proposed to end this divorce conundrum, but so far none has gained any traction.  Let me know your thoughts.  Do you support allowing for a true No Fault divorce, or an irreconcilable differences divorce after a period of separation?

Matthew Thompson is a Family Law attorney and is in favor of amending the Irreconcilable Differences divorce statute.

Follow the blog: BowTieLawyer 

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Divorce, Marriage, Opinion

When to Have an Affair.

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Affairs can be exciting, secretive and scandalous…

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This excitement is short-lived.  The secret too, is soon out. Finally the scandal hurts more than just the perpetrators, but also their families.  Affairs, actually, are usually disasters, depressing and not worth the effort. During an affair the participants are focused on themselves. This tunnel vision leads to neglect of those other persons in their life, which actually makes those relationships worse.

There is an ebb and flow that is true in all of our interactions with other human beings. The time you are spending with that other person is less time that you are spending with your family, focusing on your work, and even yourself.

Additionally, the fall out from the affair is “self-inflicted” injury and injures all parties involved.

So, when is the right time to have an affair?  Never.  There is no right time to have an affair.  

Matthew Thompson is a Mississippi Divorce Lawyer and reminds you of what Nancy Reagan has said since the 1980s, “Just Say no.”

Follow the blog:#BowTieLawyer Visit the website: #Thompson Law Firm  You may also contact Matthew with your family law matter or question at (601) 850-8000 or Matthew@bowtielawyer.ms

Child Custody, Child Support, Divorce, Marriage, Opinion

Judges Love This – Making a Comeback; Turning Adversity into a Positive

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I’m not going to go all Tony Robbins on you, but Judges love a comeback story.

Adversity is a part of life.  Oftentimes it is self-inflicted. I see a lot of clients that do things that are against their own best interests and it is a safe bet that at the next hearing they will have to answer questions about it.  However, just because you did some things you should not have does not mean you should give up and wallow.

I represented a client who was an alcoholic.  This person would drink themselves into oblivion and was an abusive person under the influence.  As expected it lead to trouble in the marriage and home-life and with work.  It impacted every aspect of their life.  He was sued and the wife sought temporary custody and sought to get temporary support.  He was served and summoned to a court date.  We showed up and the other attorney was expecting a fight.

We had a conference with the Judge and the other attorney told the Court all of the awful things my client does while under the influence. The Judge, so used to hearing two or three sides to every story, asked for my take.  I advised the Judge my client had a serious problem with alcohol and when under the influence acted in an inappropriate and unjustified manner, however when sober was a great father, worker and person. That the real issue was addiction and that my client needed help.

The Judge and the other side were surprised by the candidness displayed.  The Judge told a story of her own relative who struggled with alcohol abuse and that she wished he would have had the opportunity for help. The Judge stated that if he admitted a problem that she would assist in getting him help and would not hold it against him.

He was committed to an alcohol treatment program and his support obligations were held in abeyance pending completion.  It was exactly what was needed.

You can turn negatives into positives, you just have to stop doing the negatives…

Matthew Thompson is a Mississippi Divorce Attorney and will try to help you turn adversity into advantage.

Follow the blog:#BowTieLawyer Visit the website: #Thompson Law Firm  You may also contact Matthew with your family law matter or question at (601) 850-8000 or Matthew@bowtielawyer.ms

Crime, General Legal, Opinion

“Thomas Jefferson” Disbarred

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Kansas Attorney Dennis Hawver has been disbarred due to “inexplicable incompetence!”

Hawver committed a number of blunders throughout the case, among them include;

  • At trial, Hawver described his client a “professional drug dealer” and a “shooter of people,”
  • Hawver  argued at trial that his client would never have left a witness alive if he had shot the two women victims.
  • Hawver did not investigate alibi witnesses and did not track his client’s cellphone to find his location at the time of the murders.

His explanation?  “I had no idea that cellphones had GPS capabilities at that time,” he said. “Did you? I didn’t. If I had known it, I’d have been on it like a dog on a bone.”

  • Hawver had never previously tried a capital murder case and had not tried a murder case in more than 20 years.
  • He was unfamiliar with ABA guidelines for trying capital murder cases.
  • He informed the jury his client had previously been convicted of voluntary manslaughter, even though prosecutors agreed to a stipulation that the client had a prior felony conviction without further details.
  • He failed to seek dismissal of the capital charge after the Kansas Supreme Court struck down the death penalty scheme.
  • Hawver had said he had no funds for a pretrial investigation and he did not call the indigent defense board to explore whether funding was available to support his representation.
  • He also said he did not recall whether a board representative had called him with an offer to provide co-counsel, investigators, consultants and expert witnesses, but he does not contest that an offer of funding was made.
  • During the sentencing phase of the trial, he said the killer should be executed.

During the arguments concerning attorney discipline, Hawver named Thomas Jefferson as his hero and says he wore the outfit because he had a constitutional right to represent the client “as directed, instructed and agreed” by the client, “no matter what the ABA guidelines have to say.”

Matthew Thompson is a Mississippi Family Law Attorney and advises all potential clients that if your attorney dresses as a Founding Father for Court it is time for a new attorney.

Follow the blog:#BowTieLawyer Visit the website: #Thompson Law Firm  You may also contact Matthew with your family law matter or question at (601) 850-8000 or Matthew@bowtielawyer.ms

Child Custody, Child Support, Divorce, General Legal, Modifications, Opinion, Visitation

Court is Unpredictable.

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Court. The true final frontier.

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Court is where disputes that otherwise cannot get resolved get resolved. However, Court does not always go as planned. Witnesses freeze up and forget details that matter. Your client talks too much and argues with the other side. Or, your client cries uncontrollably and is hard to understand while testifying. The other party has spontaneous amnesia. The Judge has other cases and the other attorney has an emergency in the next Courtroom.

Even the best laid plans go awry. Court starts late and finishes early, for the day. Court runs long. Court is not fun and a “win” is hard to come by.

Avoid it if you can. Prepare like you can’t.

Matthew Thompson is a Mississippi Family Attorney.

Follow the blog:#BowTieLawyer Visit the website: #Thompson Law Firm You may also contact Matthew with your family law matter or question at (601) 850-8000 or Matthew@bowtielawyer.ms