Category Archives: Opinion

Child Custody, Child Support, Divorce, Grandparent Visitation, Modifications, Opinion

Going to Court is HARD.

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I have blogged recently about Why Settling Your Case is Best, avoiding Court, and Why Going to Court is “Best.”  The gist of the former being settlement is preferred for having a say in the final outcome and having predictability and the latter, going to Court is best when there is no room for compromise.

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Unfortunately, I have been involved in the latter, a case where there was no room for compromise.  From my perspective one party was primarily the aggressor and was encouraged by the attorney to take unreasonable positions and force the matter to Court.  Of course, they did not view their own positions as meritless.  Also, I’m sure they thought my client and I were wretches…

Regardless, hard feelings abounded.  This case had some history.  What should have been a run of the mill divorce and custody matter was extremely contentious and was litigated over an issue that was not an issue.  In Round One, after most of a day of trial, the Court stopped the matter and told the other side they were going to lose on their issue and the case did settle.

But, like the A-Team, they had a plan!  Just a few months after it was final they decided another bite at the apple was proper. Based primarily on speculation…which was eventually admitted at Court, the other side sought to change the deal they had agreed to just months prior.  Round Two in Court was based on rank speculation.  After hours of testimony, haughty lecturing, and what can only be described as highly stylized testimony by the aggressive party and deeply emotional testimony by the other, the Court dismissed the case.

So, what is the take away?  Sour grapes?  I don’t think so, at least not  on my part.  It made me realize, yet again, Court is HARD.  It is not fun.  It is emotional.  And, even when you win, nobody wins.  Here’s what else can be guaranteed, when you successfully defend against baseless claims from the other side who thinks they are completely in the right when they are not, you better get ready for posturing and Round 3!

Matthew Thompson is a family law attorney and knows that sometimes even when you win you don’t win.

Follow the blog: BowTieLawyer Visit the website: Thompson Law FirmYou may also contact Matthew with your family law case, question or concern at (601) 850-8000 or Matthew@bowtielawyer.ms

Child Custody, Child Support, Divorce, General Legal, Opinion

Why Going to Court is “BEST.”

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This post is advice rarely given or taken.  I have previously blogged on Why Settling Your Case is BEST!.  Settlement is usually BEST, but sometimes Court is inevitable…

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Why going to Court is Best, or the BEST alternative;

  • It allows you to tell your side of the story.
  • Somethings you CANNOT compromise on.
  • The Judge may be in the best position to hold someone accountable, who needs to be!

Commonly, settlement is your best option. It gives you say in the final outcome, whereas letting a Judge decide your case can remove what say you may have.  Sometimes what you want and what a Judge can award are not congruent.  However, sometimes what the other side wants, a judge would not give them.  Going to Court can be therapeutic. Going to Court can also show that you are serious and won’t back down from a fight.  Going to Court can also backfire, cost more money and end in a result that is more difficult to live with.

Matthew Thompson is a family law attorney and goes to Court often, but usually when settlement has failed or stalled.

You may contact Matthew with your family law case, question or concern at (601) 850-8000 or Matthew@bowtielawyer.ms

Divorce, General Legal, Opinion

Attorney Stereotypes- Which One Are YOU?

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Let’s face it.  Attorneys are stereotyped.  Ambulance-chasers, Bulldogs, or Greedy are just some of the monikers that society gleefully attaches to lawyers.  Some are true and deserved.

However, lawyers also stereotype themselves.  Here are a few I have dealt with.

Holier Than Thou–  This lawyer is usually a young female lawyer who is equally showing how tough they are, but also reasonable.  They have never made a mistake and when they did it was not their fault.  This lawyer also ALWAYS has the innocent spouse.  The well-meaning, single mom just trying to make an honest living in this cruel, unfair world.  The Holier Than Thou attorney is so “sweet” on the phone they think they are being nice.  They are not.

Know It ALL–  This lawyer has never met a question that could not be answered and answered at length.  You seek a “yes” or “no” to a question and they give you an explanation that is mostly irrelevant and non-responsive.  When you ask again they get agitated with you for not listening.

Know-Nothing– This lawyer cannot be bothered with details.  Let’s throw it on the wall and see what sticks.  This is all fine and good when what you want and what they will agree to are similar.  This is a problem when parties’ needs are opposite.

Do Nothing – This lawyer is reactionary. Sometimes there is a good reason to react instead of blazing a trail which may be unnecessary.  However, if the Do Nothing creates problems for achieving results, it’s a problem.

Bull in the China Shop – This lawyer goes with the gusto.  If you can file it, file it. If it can be sued, sue.  Let the Judge sort it out. That’s why they are paid the big bucks, right? So what that you sued him for contempt for something he literally paid 2 years ago and has proof of.  What? Shown the cancelled check and your client’s signature on the cancelled check.  Well, there’s probably something he’s in contempt of anyway, right?

Sneaky Snake–  The sneaky snake is pleasant to talk to and fun to be around, but you cannot trust them or believe them. Don’t.  The Order is not in the mail, they are not calling you tomorrow, they will not Agree to a date certain even though they said they would.  Their client won’t “let” them.

So, which are you? Which am I?  What does the situation call for?  Some attorneys have a knack for being the chameleon, nice to you, mean to me, a great guy, a wonderful gal, as honest as the day is long and as crooked as a “j” hook.  There are many other stereotypes.  Stay tuned for more…

Matthew Thompson is a family law attorney and the best advice you can take away from this is know who you are dealing with, as best you can.

Follow the blog: BowTieLawyer Visit the website: Thompson Law FirmYou may also contact Matthew with your family law case, question or concern at (601) 850-8000 or Matthew@bowtielawyer.ms

Bow Tie, Divorce, Opinion

Happy National Bow Tie Day!

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August 28 is a day of note.  It is National Bow Tie Day!

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“Bow Ties are believed to have originated among Croatian Mercenaries during the Prussian wars of the 17th century.  These Croat mercenaries used a ‘scarf’ around the neck to tie the opening of their shirts.  This was soon adopted by the French upper classes in form of the cravat. From there the neck-ware flourished in the 18th and 19th centuries.” http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bow_tie

“It is uncertain whether the cravat then evolved into the bow tie AND necktie, or whether the cravat gave rise to the bow tie, which in turn led to the necktie.” Id.

I celebrated the day by wearing a bow tie to Court.  It probably had no impact on the outcome, but the judge made a comment about it.  He has “worn one once or twice,” but has not mastered tying one, just yet.

The bow tie is frequently a topic of conversation.  I was recently told that only 2 types of people wear bow ties; 1) law professors and 2) clowns.  The person saying this, I think, was trying to make a mild insult.  They asked which was I.  I responded with “law school professor.” It’s true.

I have previously blogged on “Why the Bow Tie.”

I know what you are thinking,

“Who are some Notable bow tie wearers?”

  • Abraham Lincoln
  • Franklin Roosevelt
  • Theodore Roosevelt
  • Winston Churchill
  • John Paul Stevens
  • Albert Einstein 
  • Sigmund Freud
  • Humphrey Bogart
  • Frank Sinatra
  • Charlie Chaplin
  • Orville Redenbacher
  • Bill Nye
  • James Bond
  • Barney Fife
  • Donald Duck
  • The Cat in the Hat

Matthew Thompson is a family law attorney in Mississippi and prefers bow ties to regular neck ties.

Follow the blog: BowTieLawyer Visit the website: Thompson Law Firm

You may also contact Matthew with your family law case, question or concern at (601) 850-8000 or Matthew@bowtielawyer.ms

Divorce, General Legal, Opinion

Why I HATE Being a Lawyer.

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I don’t really hate being a lawyer.  Most days I enjoy it.  It can be rewarding emotionally, financially, even spiritually, but…

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being a lawyer has its downsides.

  1. For one, we have to deal with OTHER LAWYERS.  Other lawyers do things differently than you do them.  They are slow, they don’t do what they say they will, they tell you things that are just wrong and they give their clients crummy advice.
  2. All of our CLIENTS HAVE PROBLEMS.  That is why they are seeing you.  Lawyers purposely make other people’s problems their own!
  3. All Lawyers are NOT RICH.  What?!! They never told you that before law school.  Lawyers struggle to find their niche’, find their market and some just don’t like being lawyers.
  4. JUDGES.  Judges judge you.  They judge me.  That’s their job, but some let it go to their head.  A Judge’s attitude alone can make or break a Court experience, even with the same outcome.
  5. CHURCH COMMITTEES.  Being a lawyer gets you the hot seat for every church, social, civic and community committee in known existence.  You are automatically the chairperson and the questions never stop.
  6. DOCTORS.  Doctors don’t like lawyers.  Sure, I have some doctor friends, but I have to tell them that I DO NOT sue doctors. (That’s not entirely true, as I do sue doctors that cheat on their spouses…)
  7. We have to CHARGE $.  Lawyers cannot afford to take your case for free.  (see #3, above).  I tell potential clients that I cannot afford to do it for free and that if they find one that will you better watch out for getting what you “paid” for.  Most people deserve to have a lawyer. Most lawyers deserve to be paid.
  8. FRIENDS that just have 1) question. It will only take a minute…
  9. NOT KNOWING THE ANSWER.  Of course lawyers don’t know every answer to every possible question.  I tell people when I don’t know something.  Yes, I am still a lawyer.
  10. MANY CLIENTS.  To be a successful lawyer you must have clients.  Because of this you must have multiple clients.  The downside is sometimes a client, a person you genuinely care for and want to help, has to wait on you.  This is tough.  It is a balancing act.  You, as a lawyer, cannot be in 2 places at once.  Most clients understand. Some do not.

Matthew Thompson is a family law attorney in Mississippi and enjoys being a lawyer most days.

Follow the blog: BowTieLawyer Visit the website: Thompson Law Firm

You may also contact Matthew with your family law case, question or concern at (601) 850-8000 or Matthew@wmtlawfirm.com.

Divorce, General Legal, Marriage, Opinion

Red Flags of an Affair

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Warning signs to look for…

Warning signs that may show that your significant other may be seeing another!

  • A Secret Cell Phone.  They have a 2nd phone without a need or the other phone is secret.
  • Change in Attire.  The spouse is dressing in trendier clothes or “younger” or more “revealing” clothes.
  • New Undies.  Provocative undergarments appear that you don’t see in use.
  • Working out.  A sudden change in their workout regimen, without a scare from the Dr. and it’s not New Year’s Day.
  • Body Grooming.  Manscaping, or new cologne, perfumes, etc.
  • Body Augmentation.  Having lifts or lipos.
  • Longer Work Hours.  Having to work late, a lot more often, and out-of-town travel when they previously did not.
  • Unexplained Absences.  Going to the store for some milk and being gone 6 hours.
  • Bad On-Line Habits.  Surfing at all hours of the night, deleting the browser history.
  • FaceBooking Old Flames.

Matthew Thompson is a family law attorney in Mississippi and admits while these signs can certainly exist with nothing going on, that if 3 or more are happening Watch Out!

Follow the blog: BowTieLawyer Visit the website: Thompson Law Firm

You may also contact Matthew with your family law case, question or concern at (601) 850-8000 or Matthew@wmtlawfirm.com.

Divorce, General Legal, Marriage, Opinion

“What Rhymes with Hug Me?” (hey, hey, hey)

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Robin Thicke has a song out called Blurred Lines.

In the song he sings about sending mixed signals and how a response intended to mean one thing can be interpreted or mean another to the receiver.

Are your communications with your spouse doing the same thing?

Communication is critical.  It’s critical in a healthy relationship and it’s critical in the aftermath.  I have seen many, many post separation communications be misinterpreted and then used against the sending party. Email and text messages do not connote tone.  Glib comments, being cute or even a smart aleck can easily be inferred or not.

Also, too much communication leads to mixed signals, mixed emotions, false hope and opportunity for your words to be used against you.  Usually, I recommend limited communications and that those be about the children or emergencies, or course.  Sometimes, however, I recommend no contact.  You hired attorneys, let them do it.

Don’t blur the lines.

Matthew Thompson is a family law attorney in Mississippi and while Blurred Lines may be a catchy song, blurred lines of communication can lead to trouble.

Follow the blog: BowTieLawyer Visit the website: Thompson Law Firm

You may also contact Matthew with your family law case, question or concern at (601) 850-8000 or Matthew@bowtielawyer.ms.

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alienation, Child Custody, Child Support, Crime, Divorce, General Legal, Modifications, Opinion, Visitation

The DIRT!** (24 Dirty Deeds in Family Law)

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One of the unique things about my profession is that I routinely get paid to discuss the embarrassing, wild and sometimes just ignorant things people do.

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The DIRT is/are the things that the other side says you did, even if you did not do them; substance abuse, crimes, non-payment, hateful things…

What cannot be stressed enough is that you have to be honest and forthright with your attorney. If you hold something back and do not disclose the full story it can come back to bite you. Being bitten could mean not getting custody, having to pay attorney’s fees, going to jail or any combination of these.

What are Examples of Dirt you ask?

  • 1) Instances of substance abuse,
  • 2) DUIs,
  • 3) Public Drunks,
  • 4) Child Endangerment charges for DUI with the children present,
  • 5) Arrests for assault,
  • 6) Battery,
  • 7)Crimes of moral turpitude or
  • 8) Violence,
  • 9) Substance abuse, even if not caught,
  • 10) Knowing you would test “hot” or “positive” for an illegal drug or
  • 11) Prescription drug for which you do not have a prescription.
  • 12) And not telling your attorney any of the above is dangerous, even if they don’t ask. Sometimes we don’t know or think to ask if you
  • 13) Are on probation from any crime.
  • 14) Is there a no contact Order against you,
  • 15) Domestic violence charges pending,
  • 16) Active warrants for your arrest,
  • 17) Suspended license.
  • 18) Are you under investigation?
  • 19) Meth lab in the garage,
  • 20) Not to mention having a paramour, an affair,
  • 21) Multiple affairs,
  • 22) Paying for your mistresses’ vacation,
  • 23) Buying the mistresses’ child a car, or
  • 24) Expending large sums of money on frivolous things.

These are just 24 examples of DIRT that I saw…last week. These dirty deeds may be done dirt cheap, but it’s going to cost you to clean it up!

Matthew Thompson is a family law attorney in Mississippi and can only attempt to clean up the DIRT that the client admits.

Follow the blog: BowTieLawyer Visit the website: Thompson Law Firm

You may also contact Matthew with your family law case, question or concern at (601) 850-8000 or Matthew@bowtielawyer.ms.

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