Category Archives: Opinion

Divorce, General Legal, Marriage, Opinion

Condoning Bad Behavior; Losing Grounds for Divorce

12/07/2012 BowTieLawyer 3 Comments

They cheated! You found out…you TRIED to work it out, but the trust has been broken and you just cannot get over it. You decide you have no choice but to file a suit for adultery. You’ll get your fair share and move on. Right? Not so fast…

In Mississippi, to be awarded a Divorce, you have to either have Fault Grounds(click) against your spouse, that can be proven, or you and your spouse have to agree to ALL issues in the divorce, via Irreconcilable Differences(click). (All issues must be agreed; the divorce, itself, who gets what, who pays what, everything has to be agreed).

Additionally, in Mississippi, there are Defenses to a Divorce. A Defense can be used to prevent the Divorce. One of those Defenses is Condonation.

Condonation is “legal forgiveness.” This happens when the aggrieved spouse knows of the fault, in this example an affair, and decides to reconcile with the other party, when you TRIED to work it out.

Once the aggrieved party makes that decision to reconcile and the parties resume, or continue cohabitation, and resume marital relations (sex) the aggrieved party has legally forgiven the guilty party. So what does that mean? There are no longer grounds for divorce based upon adultery.

There are a few catches. The guilty spouse must, in good faith, attempt the reconciliation intentionally with the purpose of saving the marriage. Additionally, the aggrieved spouse can only forgive what they know about. If there were multiple affairs and all were not disclosed there may still exist fault grounds, whether they are aware of it or not. Also, the behavior, the adultery, if repeated revives the grounds for divorce. That is, past acts that were known may have been forgiven, but if repeated the aggrieved would have grounds again. Future acts would not be forgiven either solely based on a prior reconciliation.

Condonation is one of those more difficult issues to wrestle with in divorce. The Court must consider the knowledge of the aggrieved spouse, the intent of the guilty spouse, the effort(s) to reconcile – whether they are in good faith. All these are fact specific and subjective determinations to be made by the Court.

Warning!! Some lawyers will advise the guilty party to do or say whatever is necessary to get the other party back in bed, for “reconciliation,” so that the defense of Condonation may be used. If you find yourself in this situation, please seek the advice of an attorney prior to a reconciliation attempt. Divorce attorneys can also help you save your marriage, or at least advise you on the ramifications if you try.

Marriage, Opinion

You Never Marry the Right Person.

12/03/2012 BowTieLawyer 3 Comments

This thought provoking title was taken from an excerpt from The Meaning of Marriage by Timothy Keller and appeared in Relevant Magazine. This title, while appearing startling, is actually pretty profound if you think about it. The gist is that searching for someone who accepts you as you are and fulfills your desires, creates an unrealistic set of expectations that frustrates both you and your partner. This results in someone relying too much on a marriage partner for their own self-fulfillment. It creates impossible expectations.

The article instead encourages one to view marriage as the coming together of two flawed people working to create “stability, love and consolation.” While the search for soul-mates and the one that “completes you” is romantic to think about and makes for entertaining movies, (if you like that sort of thing try, He’s Just Not That Into You) it is unrealistic and overly simplistic. The article concludes, “[s]imply put—today people are asking far too much in the marriage partner.” And I would add, and not asking enough of themselves.

You never marry the right person, but the marriage can be right!

General Legal, Opinion

Do I Need a Lawyer?

11/28/2012 BowTieLawyer 3 Comments

This question, “Do I NEED a Lawyer?” is asked of me on an almost daily basis. It’s one of those questions that when you ask a lawyer if you need a lawyer – you know what the answer is going to be. “Yes! You need a a lawyer.” If you are having to ask if you need a lawyer, you probably need a lawyer.

So, when do you NEED a lawyer?

When you have been sued. If there is an active lawsuit you need to see a lawyer.
When you have been seriously injured and it was not your fault. This applies to car wrecks, but it also applies to any injury.
When you have been arrested. Law Enforcement involvement is usually a significant sign that you need an attorney.
When there are significant risks involved. Lawyers are trained to identify and attempt to minimize risk.

Well, you think, if I talk to a lawyer it may make the issue more serious. Perhaps, but lawyers, for the most part try to help. Their goal is to advise you, help you, and/or defend you from whatever harm is at issue. Knowing your rights, being prepared, and being fully informed are never negatives to self-preservation.

Okay, so I need a lawyer. How do I find one? Glad you asked. (click me)

If you think you need a lawyer, You Do. If you are asking yourself, or others, if you need a lawyer, You Do.

Matthew Thompson is a family law attorney in Mississippi. He uses an attorney when he needs one and you should too. Trust the Bow Tie.

Follow the blog: BowTieLawyer Visit the website: Thompson Law Firm

You may also contact Matthew with your family law case, question or concern at (601) 850-8000 or Matthew@wmtlawfirm.com.

Child Custody, Opinion

Solomon did not “Split the Baby.”

11/26/2012 BowTieLawyer 1 Comment

“Splitting the Baby” is a phrase that has taken root in our lexicon. It references King Solomon’s decision where two mothers were embroiled in a “custody battle” over a child, each claiming the child to be their own. 1 Kings 3:16 KJV

In family law courts, oftentimes the Judges compare themselves to Solomon when making decisions. These Judges must make tough decisions based testimony and evidence that are frequently in stark contrast depending upon which party was offering up the facts and proof.

In the Biblical Custody Battle, King Solomon was faced with one infant and two mothers. Solomon did not know which woman was the child’s real mother, so he arranged a test to see if he could determine the true mother. In Solomon’s case, the real mother was willing to let the other woman have her child in order to spare his life, while the other woman (whose own baby previously died) agreed with King Solomon that the baby should be cut in two, with each woman receiving half. The real mother in King Solomon’s court was willing to make the ultimate sacrifice of giving the child up, so that he might live. The Holy Bible, King James Version, 1 Kings 3:16.

These days, however, it seems that when we talk about “splitting the baby” we are referencing making decisions that leave both parties unhappy. I have heard a Judge say that if both parties leave unhappy then they must have gotten the result right. There may be some instances where this holds true, however there was no splitting in the Biblical version of Solomon’s decision.

Splitting the baby may be the solution if it’s not an actual baby. But the wisdom of Solomon is remembered, celebrated, and often cited because he, in fact, did not split the baby.

Thompson Law Firm, pllc Matthew Thompson (601) 850-8000

Crime, General Legal, Opinion

What to do when your Thanksgiving Black Friday is Stolen; Identity Theft

11/21/2012 BowTieLawyer Leave a comment

With Thanksgiving and Christmas quickly approaching, it is always a good idea to be vigilant in protecting your identity. Along with serious shopping comes a serious chance of having your identity stolen.

Clients frequently inquire about what can be done about stolen identity and fraudulent charges. The following are steps you should take immediately.

(1) Contact the local police department and file a report of the theft. Be sure to take as much documentation of the ID theft as you can. *(Not all police stations will want to take the report, but the Federal Trade Commission has a Staff Memorandum to Police on the Importance of Taking Identity Theft Police Reports which may be helpful in having the report filed.)

(2) Contact any creditors for the accounts that you believe have been corrupted or fraudulently opened.

a. Ask to speak with the Fraud or Security Department and inform them of the theft. Some companies accept an Identity Theft Affidavit, but some require particular documentation to be provided. Be sure to obtain the specific address to which a dispute letter or ID Theft Affidavit should be mailed. Follow up the conversation with a letter.

b. Request that the company provide all documents underlying the fraudulent activity. By law the Fair Credit Reporting Act section 609(e), provides that creditors must give you a copy of the application or other business transaction records relating to your identity theft free of charge. Creditors must provide these records within thirty (30) days of receipt of your request. In order to obtain these records, you must mail your request to the address chosen by the creditor. Contact the creditor’s fraud department by telephone to find out if the creditor has chosen a specific address.

c. If someone is misusing your existing checking account, accounts, or electronic funds transfers, such as your debit card, you should dispute in writing any charges run up by the identity thief on those accounts. Insist on having debits reinstated. Ask the representative to send you the company’s fraud dispute forms. Dispute any bad checks passed in your name with merchants so they do not start collections actions against you.

(3) Contact the Fraud Department the credit reporting agencies (CRAs). Inform them that you are an identity theft victim and that you wish to place a fraud alert on you file, as well as a victim’s statement requesting a call to you by the credit bureaus before opening or changing credit accounts. An initial 90-day fraud alert will be placed, and this can be extended to 7-years, or a credit freeze can be placed. (As soon as the credit bureau confirms your fraud alert, the other two credit bureaus will be automatically notified to place fraud alerts, and all three credit reports will be sent to you free of charge. The victim should receive confirmation letters from all three CRAs confirming the 90-day fraud alert. If no letter is received, the individual CRA should be contacted, and the victim may be asked to provide additional proof of the identity theft.)

The three major credit agencies and their contact information are:

1.  Equifax

For Fraud Alerts, call: 800‑525‑6285 and write:

P.O. Box 740241, Atlanta, GA 30374‑0241

2.  Experian

For Fraud Alerts, call: 888‑EXPERIAN (397‑3742) and write:

P.O. Box 9530, Allen TX 75013

3.  TransUnion

For Fraud Alerts, call: 800‑680‑7289 and write:

Fraud Victim Assistance Division, P.O. Box 6790, Fullerton, CA 92634

(4) Each CRA will provide a free credit report. The victim should review the report. The victim should review the reports for errors. If there are errors the victim will need to contact the CRAs in order to correct the credit reports. The CRAs are required to block fraudulent items that the consumer did not open or that the consumer did not make. Attempting to have the report corrected can be initiated by the victim sending an Identity Theft Report (police report), letter explaining what is fraudulent (highlight areas on the report), and proof of identity.

(5) File a report with the Federal Trade Commission (FTC) on their Identity Theft Hotline at 1‑877‑IDTHEFT (1‑877‑438‑4338) or their website at www.consumer.gov/idtheft.

(6) Contact the Consumer Protection Division of the Mississippi Attorney General’s Office and request an ID Theft Packet at 1‑800‑281‑4418. Complete the ID Theft Affidavit in the packet and return it to this address:

Mississippi Attorney General’s Office

Consumer Protection Division

Post Office Box 22947

Jackson, MS 39225‑2947

(7) Once the identity theft dispute has been resolved with the creditor, ask for a letter from the creditor stating that they have closed the disputed accounts and have discharged you of the fraudulent debts. This letter is the best proof if errors relating to this account reappear on your credit report or the victim is mistakenly contacted again about the fraudulent debt. Keep old files. Although most cases once resolved, stay resolved, in some cases, problems can crop up again.

*Meridian attorney Amanda Evans provided this insightful primer on what to do.

EVANS LAW FIRM, PLLC
2324 Front Street
Meridian, MS 39301
(601) 575-0096
www.msattorneyatlaw.com

Matthew Thompson is Domestic Relations Lawyer in Mississippi and reminds you to be smart when you shop in stores and online.

Follow the blog: BowTieLawyer Visit the website: Thompson Law Firm You may also contact Matthew with your family law case, question or concern at (601) 850-8000 or Matthew@bowtielawyer.ms

Child Custody, Divorce, Opinion

Dealing with Disappointment; Divorce, Stress and Uncertainty

11/16/2012 BowTieLawyer 8 Comments

Unfortunately, disappointment is a part of life. It can also be a major part of family law cases. Most often in a family law case, someone is going through just about the most difficult thing they do as an adult when dealing with a divorce/custody matter. Either they have done something, or their spouse has, which has caused significant upheaval, loss of trust and despair A large part of family law includes helping someone cope with those feelings and emotions.

While there is no easy answer on how to cope, there are a number of things that can be done to promote healing.

Seek Counseling. I recommend counseling to almost every client. This is NOT because I think something is wrong with them. It is because Counselors are people who have expertise in dealing with persons going through emotional crisis. A lawyer can deal with a legal crisis, and some are good at the emotional issues too, but all are not. A counselor can help and they have often heard and dealt with a similar circumstance. Counseling can be with a licensed counselor, a religious leader or a sage friend with experience.

Keep a Routine. Keeping a routine can help more than you think. A recent study showed that persons who made their bed each morning were more organized and felt better about themselves throughout the day. This routine made their day better. This is something easy to do and it only takes 2 minutes, but can make a difference in how you feel. I encourage my clients to get in a routine and keep it. I encourage them to continue their exercise regimen or start one. Let’s Go Walking (a la Haley Barbour!). I also encourage them to eat the right stuff. While this may sound dumb or not my business – a family law matter concerns mind, body, and spirit.

Listen to Your Attorney. One of the easiest things to say and hardest to do is to follow the advice of your attorney. Ideally, you are working with an attorney that has handled many situations, which have been similar to yours. Just like you, attorneys learn from experience. Hire one that knows what they are doing and then take their advice. This one factor alone is worthy of its own blog…

Disappointment is a part of life and, seemingly, a large part of family law. Effectively dealing with the “bumps” in the road will help you get back on track.

Follow the blog: BowTieLawyer Visit the website: Thompson Law Firm

You may also contact Matthew with your family law case, question or concern at (601) 850-8000 or Matthew@bowtielawyer.ms.

Child Custody, Child Support, Divorce, Irreconcilable differences, Opinion

From No Fault to Yo’ Fault

11/14/2012 BowTieLawyer Leave a comment

The clever title to this blog was proposed by an attorney friend of mine that handles some family law matters, but practices extensively in other areas of law.

We were recently discussing how “No Fault” cases get derailed. While Mississippi is technically not a true “No Fault” state, there are provisions for an Irreconcilable Differences divorce. (commonly referred to as “No Fault,” blogged prior.)

We were discussing what gets them off track. The parties, after getting over the initial shock of divorce, decide they will be adults and agree. They think they can agree to the divorce and resolve their differences. After all, they did manage to get along for 9 years, have two kids and bought a house. What could go wrong? Perhaps they searched online and looked at divorceyourself.com. A very risky idea!

Well, the old adage that the devil is in the details is never truer than in divorce. The No Fault idea gets derailed when the fellow realizes he will have to pay 20% of his income towards child support, plus health insurance and alimony. Yikes! He realizes it’s cheaper to keep her. (sorry for the cliché) The wife gets squirrely when she realizes that her half of the retirement account is consumed by balancing the equity in the house, or that the money she gets cannot be realized without significant tax consequences.

Parties to a divorce don’t realize child support is until 21, not 18 in Mississippi. They don’t know the types of custody, or what that means. They agree to things that they cannot legally agree to and fail to consider the consequences. They agree to “legal terms” that do not exist in Mississippi law, because they saw it online. And lastly, one of them is finally convinced to see an attorney by a close friend or family member and when they do and realize the consequences of what they were about to do and back out, the other side becomes angry and backs out too. All of a sudden an easy deal becomes complicated, expensive and adversarial.

Want to keep your situation from going from No Fault to Yo’ Fault? Do your homework, have an assessment with an attorney that practices family law, keep the peace, and be smart.

Matthew Thompson is a family law attorney that can handle your divorce whether it’s your fault, their fault, or somebody else’s. Trust the Bow Tie.

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Opinion

Voting & Mississippi -(a very brief history)

11/05/2012 BowTieLawyer Leave a comment

With the election one day away, this is the (obligatory) “be sure you vote” blawg.

Tuesday we go to the polls to elect State and National officials. You get to vote for the person you think should be President, and a MS Senator, (if in your district) Congressmen, 2 MS Supreme Court Justices , and a host of local positions, such as election commissioners.

We hear and see a lot of talk about Mississippi being subject to Federal oversight in her elections. Below is a brief explanation of that Federal oversight.

Mississippi has a stormy past when it comes to voting rights – attempting to restrict minority access to voting – and those past State actions can still be felt in today’s elections. Mississippi is one of 8 states subject to the Department of Justice “pre-clearance” and oversight on any voting/election law changes pursuant to the Voting Rights Act of 1965. (Some sections of other states are subject to the pre-clearance oversight).

This legislation was designed to ensure the right of minority citizens to register and vote, and to prevent discriminatory laws passed by state and local entities. Both permanent and non-permanent provisions are proscribed. One permanent provision applies nationwide and outlaws any voting practice that results in the denial of voting rights on the basis of a person’s race, color, or membership in a language-minority group.

The non-permanent provisions that are relevant to Mississippi require “pre-clearance” of any changes in voting/election laws and allows the DOJ to send federal observers to the polls in Mississippi

To pass muster any changes in voting/election laws must demonstrate that the voting change does not have the purpose or effect of discriminating on the basis of race or language minority. If the DOJ or the federal court determines that there is a discriminatory purpose or effect, then an objection is issued. If an objection is issued, the change cannot be put into operation.

Source: The Voting Rights Act and Mississippi 1965-2006, A Report of the RenewtheVRA.org, by Robert McDuff.

With that brief history of MS voting you can see the impact and importance that the right to vote has for many citizens. Exercise your right to vote; let your voice be heard and your vote be counted.

Thompson Law Firm, PLLC (601) 850-8000 Matthew@wmtlawfirm.com